MAD KANE’S HUMOR BLOG

Cashing In With “Doggie da Vincis” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A dog trainer needed some cash,
So she dreamed up a plan—made a splash:
Teaching dogs how to paint
Abstract art. Great they ain’t,
Though their pictures make mine look like trash.

According to a June 2007 AP news story, Mary Stadelbacher, a dog trainer from Salisbury, Maryland, taught three dogs how to hold a paint brush and paint abstract art. The “doggie da Vincis” are being featured in a Salisbury University art gallery and also have a line of greeting cards.

I must admit to being conflicted about this story.  On the one hand, it strikes me as utterly absurd and makes me feel bad for artists who paint actual art.  On the other hand, those dogs sure as hell paint a lot better than I can.

(You can find more of my dog and animal related verse and humor here and my money humor here.)

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And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* Friday Ark
* Carnival of the Insanities
* StoryBlogging Carnival
* Carnival of Family Life

Technorati Tags: Dogs Humor, Canine Poems, Doggie da Vincis, Abstract Art Satire, Animal Training, Dog Trainers, Dog Painters, Blog Publicity, Linky Love

An Arresting Affair (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal in New York was arrested
For strolling outdoors while bare-breasted.
But courts say, “No fair!
You can not make gals wear
Shirts and blouses, cause men go bare-chested.”

Yesterday, CNN reported that Jill Coccaro has received a $29,000 settlement of her civil rights lawsuit against New York City. She’d been arrested for topless strolling and was detained for twelve hours, despite a 1992 New York State appeals court ruling that women have the same right as men to remove their shirts.

(You can find more of my legal verse and humor here, my feminist humor here, and my New York humor and limericks here.)

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And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* Carnival of Family Life
* Friday Ark
* Carnival of Storytellers
* Carnival of Education

Technorati Tags: Wrongful Arrest, Bare Breasts, Bare Chests, Topless Humor, New York Law, Lawsuit Limerick, Police Overzealousness, Topless Strolling, Equal Treatment, Women’s Rights, Feminism

A Lamb On The Lam (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A lamb on the lam in the City
Of New York, which most clearly has pity:
The lamb escapee
Said, “You ain’t eating me!”
He was pardoned, and so ends this ditty.

I couldn’t resist writing a limerick about the seven-month-old lamb that escaped a live-animal market in The Bronx, New York and led police on a several block chase before it was captured. Animal lovers will be glad to know that instead of being returned to the market, it was delivered to an animal sanctuary.

(You can find more of my animal humor and verse here and more of my food humor and poetry here.) 

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And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Ringing of the Bards
* Blog Carnival On Observations On Life
* Carnival of the Vanities
* Law West of the Pecos

Technorati Tags: Lamb, Sheep, Animal Limerick, Food Limerick, Police Limerick, The Bronx, New York City Limerick, Animal Lovers, Pardon Limerick

I’m introducing a new regular feature today — Weird News Snark.  How regular?  That totally depends on news craziness … and Mad Kane laziness. 

So let’s get started:

And you think you’ve got mother-in-law problems?

Private’s platoon sergeant is his mother-in-law, too.

At long last, a good reason to attend your reunion. 

ORONO, Maine —  Fifty years after taking school sprit to new heights with a paint brush, a University of Maine graduate has received a pardon from the school administration.

Where’s the beef?

FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. (AP) - Guessing about the contents of a cow’s stomach is a thing of the past for University of Arkansas researchers - all they have to do is reach in and take a sample. The university’s Animal Science Department has surgically implanted 4-inch-wide tubes, called cannulas, in the sides of 12 cows.

Yeah, but what were they smoking?

KANSAS CITY, Kansas (AP) - More than 1,680 guitar players turned out, tuned up and took part in what organizers say was a world record rendition of Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water” - a song that was the first many of them ever learned.

“Creative” U.S. Lawyers Have Nothing On The Germans.

BAUTZEN, Germany (AP) - Three German teenagers have been spared paying hefty damages after a court ruled it could not prove an ostrich farmer’s claim that their festive firecrackers made one of his birds impotent.

This never happened when Jimmy Carter was president. 

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) - A woman was held up during a fill-up. The woman was pumping gasoline Sunday morning when a man stuck something in her back, told her it was a gun and ordered her to start filling up his sport utility vehicle instead of her own car…

Freedom’s for the birds.

BEIJING (Reuters) - Four highly endangered red ibises have been taken back into captivity in China, after two days of free living made [the birds] lose their appetite…

Perhaps those birds could use this fellow’s dietary aid.

A man in southeast China says 40 years of swallowing tree frogs and rats live has helped him avoid tummy ache.

Technorati Tags: Weird News, Snark, Oddball News, Offbeat News, Tree Frogs Tummy Ache, Rats Tummy Ache, Endangered Ibises Lose Appetite, Gasoline Fill-up Stick-up, Impotent Ostrich, Guitars World Record, Cow’s Stomach Mirror, College Reunion, Paint Pardon, Mother-in-law Problems, Crazy News