Posts Tagged ‘Snark’

Limerick Ode To “Snark-Free Day”

Tuesday, October 22nd, 2013

Here’s a holiday I could definitely live without:

PRConsultants Group created “Snark-Free Day” to encourage people to take the high-road and go out of their way to be polite, kind and considerate on Tuesday, Oct. 22.

Limerick Ode To “Snark-Free Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Today is a holiday. Hark!
Snark-FREE Day — no walk in the park.
‘Twas conjured by guys
Who think snark isn’t wise.
Are those fellows on crack? Call a narc!

My day would be dark without snark—
Those remarks that have bite, if not bark.
No I won’t be denied
The clever and snide.
This holiday misses the mark.

Weird News Snark (New Regular Feature)

Tuesday, June 5th, 2007

I’m introducing a new regular feature today — Weird News Snark.  How regular?  That totally depends on news craziness … and Mad Kane laziness. 

So let’s get started:

And you think you’ve got mother-in-law problems?

Private’s platoon sergeant is his mother-in-law, too.

At long last, a good reason to attend your reunion. 

ORONO, Maine —  Fifty years after taking school sprit to new heights with a paint brush, a University of Maine graduate has received a pardon from the school administration.

Where’s the beef?

FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. (AP) – Guessing about the contents of a cow’s stomach is a thing of the past for University of Arkansas researchers – all they have to do is reach in and take a sample. The university’s Animal Science Department has surgically implanted 4-inch-wide tubes, called cannulas, in the sides of 12 cows.

Yeah, but what were they smoking?

KANSAS CITY, Kansas (AP) – More than 1,680 guitar players turned out, tuned up and took part in what organizers say was a world record rendition of Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Water” – a song that was the first many of them ever learned.

“Creative” U.S. Lawyers Have Nothing On The Germans.

BAUTZEN, Germany (AP) – Three German teenagers have been spared paying hefty damages after a court ruled it could not prove an ostrich farmer’s claim that their festive firecrackers made one of his birds impotent.

This never happened when Jimmy Carter was president. 

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) – A woman was held up during a fill-up. The woman was pumping gasoline Sunday morning when a man stuck something in her back, told her it was a gun and ordered her to start filling up his sport utility vehicle instead of her own car…

Freedom’s for the birds.

BEIJING (Reuters) – Four highly endangered red ibises have been taken back into captivity in China, after two days of free living made [the birds] lose their appetite…

Perhaps those birds could use this fellow’s dietary aid.

A man in southeast China says 40 years of swallowing tree frogs and rats live has helped him avoid tummy ache.