Archive for the ‘Limerick Award Winners’ Category

Limerick of the Week (182)

Saturday, September 27th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

The comic made jokes that were lame.
“I’ll tell you why Caesar’s my name:
I was set in a whirl
By this beautiful girl –
I saw her, I conquered, I came.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, Jon Gearhart, Brendan Powers, Fred Bortz, Kirk Miller, and Sue Dulley. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Tim James:

Mother’s sister is just a bit lame,
But she has quite a powerful frame.
She encountered a mugger
And laid out the bugger.
Since then she’s been called “Auntie Maim.”

Byron Miller:

If while hunting, you leave your prey lame,
Please don’t make it your new claim to fame.
It’s not cool when you brag
About wounding a stag…
Unless aiming to maim is your game.

Jon Gearhart:

Do you want to know what I think’s lame?
I’m sick of our Congress’s game.
Are political folk
In all countries a joke?
I’ll bet Poland has more of the Sejm.

Brendan Powers:

My boss, he tells jokes that are lame.
“You’re so funny!” I falsely proclaim.
That’s the way it must go
Until I’m CEO
And can give him a dose of the same!

Fred Bortz:

Brigitte’s lingerie isn’t lame,
But that’s what her posts oft proclaim.
I declare here today
That she’s hot in lamé.
It’s the “accent aigu” that’s to blame!

Kirk Miller:

My TV has a setting that’s lame.
It’s a shame they mislabeled the name.
I set “brightness” to “max”
And then gave a few whacks,
But intelligence stayed just the same.

Tim James:

A fellow, incredibly lame,
Cried in rapturous joy when he came:
“I love you, Liz, madly!”
It ended quite badly
’Cause Elizabeth wasn’t her name.

Sue Dulley:

The earliest lim’ricks were lame:
“There once was a man (insert name)
Who did (such-and-such,
Not amounting to much)…”
And line 5 as line 1 was the same.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (181)

Saturday, September 20th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

Will T. Laughlin:

So why’d the cathedral collapse?
I’m afraid it’s a clear story, chaps:
Some knave with a phone
(For reasons unknown)
Attempted to download the apse.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jon Gearhart, Brian Allgar, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Jim Delaney, and Allen Wilcox. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Jon Gearhart:

Into deep coma sleep he will lapse
After waking at 5, so perhaps
He should go hit the head
Right that minute instead
Of him peeing at 6 while he naps.

Brian Allgar:

A girl who loved sitting on laps
Was a tease who would tantalize chaps.
As she squirmed and she wriggled,
“What’s this, then?” she giggled,
“A gun in your trousers, perhaps?”

David Lefkovits:

There once were some lanky old Lapps
Who ate what they caught in their traps;
They’d fry Finnish fritters
From all of those critters
And fashion the furs into caps.

Jim Delaney:

A man on the verge of collapse
Asked advice from some medical chaps:
“Will I live through the night?”
They confounded his fright
With a calm, reassuring, “Perhaps.”

Allen Wilcox, whose limerick can be read either as written, or in numerical order. He notes that “the numbers refer to the ‘real’ line order.”

1. My memory’s suffered a lapse.
5. To recover I have to take naps.
4. I start feeling deranged.
3. The lines are exchanged.
2. I have limerick line order gaps.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (180)

Saturday, September 13th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

At the cheese plant, we all had to flee
From explosions they didn’t foresee.
At the end of the day,
Heard a newscaster say
That the only thing left was de Brie.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Jon Gearhart, Will T. Laughlin, Kirk Miller, and Byron Ives. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Brian Allgar:

Her brain was the size of a flea,
And she couldn’t think how it could be
That she needed to pay
For the toilet that day,
With the lock on the door showing FREE.

David Lefkovits:

There once was a Francophone flea
Who perched on a pooch in Paris.
Not a bit would he shrink
From what others may think:
“Une petite parasite? Oui, je suis!”

Jon Gearhart:

All my dogs have had many a flea.
If I bug fleas or dogs, they’ll bite me
I have learned that it’s best
To let sleeping dogs rest
And to also let leaping bugs be.

Will T. Laughlin:

The audience threatened to flee
When I broke into Rose of Tralee.
“Well,” said I, with a sneer,
“What would YOU like to hear?”
Then they all shouted: 4’33.”

Kirk Miller:

U.S. settlers forced natives to flee
And declared this the land of the free.
Gave them parcels of land,
Then revoked it as planned.
We were Indian givers, you see.

Byron Ives:

Here is when he decided to flee:
He’d slipped his hand up past her knee
And intended to nail her,
Then found her impaler.
Good God! She was longer than he!

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (179)

Saturday, September 6th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

The fellow was robbing their nest
Of their eggs, and the hens were distressed.
They were out of their wits,
So they pecked him to bits–
He’d forgotten his pullet-proof vest.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special Holiday-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

Mad gave us a seven-day stay,
A Labor Day verse to assay.
I may sound like a jerk,
But that’s way too much work!
I’ll bear down when they pass Goof-Off Day.

Congratulations to COLLEEN MURPHY, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

With my daughters now out of the nest,
There’s an issue that need be addressed:
Before it’s too late
I must work with my mate
To rekindle the zest we’ve repressed.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Byron Ives, Bill Klein, Jon Gearhart, Kathy El-Assal, Randy Mazie, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Byron Ives:

The triplets got kicked from their nest,
Two boys and a girl, dispossessed.
They walked, but she faltered,
Her huge boobs, un-haltered.
The brothers then each walked abreast.

Bill Klein:

A woman who’d seen that a nest
Had been built ‘twixt her left and right breast,
Cried “Alas and alack!
There are birds on my rack!”
And with zest swept the pests from her chest.

Jon Gearhart:

I invited her back to my nest
For Monopoly, purely in jest.
But she jumped at the Chance,
Thrust her hand down my pants,
So I grabbed her Community Chest.

Kathy El-Assal:

An eagle took flight from his nest.
“Catch a fish” was his hunger’s request.
Averting bird famine,
He snatched up a salmon
And ere long that fish he fin-essed.

Randy Mazie @ thewritersvillage:

Our children have all flown the nest.
Now my wife and I walk ’round undressed,
Which may sound quite benign,
But it isn’t so fine
When a kid is an unannounced guest.

Konrad Schwoerke:

What’s that syndrome when kids leave the nest,
And your wife will not give you a rest?
I’m no specialist, though
From what little I know
Nymphomania seems to fit best.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (178)

Saturday, August 23rd, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

The King found it more to his taste
That his wives have their noggins displaced,
So when Anne Boleyn said
“May I offer thee head?”
Henry grinned, and assured her “Thou may’st.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Edmund Conti, Frank Osen, Colleen Murphy, Fred Bortz, Susan Settje, and Jon Gearhart. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Tim James:

The meal had a savory taste
And the cooking-show judges embraced
And enjoyed ev’ry course
With no clue it was horse.
Did it win? It did not, but it placed.

Edmund Conti:

You’re finding you’re using poor taste
In composing these lim’ricks post-haste.
Don’t get angry, get Mad.
She’ll critique just a tad
And adjust a syl-LA-ble misplaced.

Frank Osen:

A fellow with terrible taste,
Said, when asked why he ate only paste:
“Well, I used to make stews
From the stuff in my loos,
but I found that a horrible waste.”

Colleen Murphy:

The gigolo thought he should taste
For a bit, what it’s like to be chaste.
But with minutes gone by
He then asked himself why
He would put his fine package to waste.

Fred Bortz:

That Congressman left a bad taste
Of obstruction, corruption, and waste.
“So he lost?” You’re mistaken.
He brought home the bacon,
So he beat each opponent he faced.

Susan Settje:

As a school girl, I sought out the taste
in that sweet little jar of white paste.
Then I caught my first scent
Of some rubber cement
And all thoughts of that paste were erased.

Jon Gearhart:

The recipe’s terrible taste
Was in need of a change, and posthaste.
I found that the dish
Had the taste of bad fish,
So I found a good fish and re-plaiced!

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (177)

Saturday, August 16th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

James Bond found his bride to be cold,
An ice queen to have and to hold.
She would hector and nag,
So he ditched her, the hag.
He’s the spy who came in from the scold.

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

My girl-friend complained of the cold
(“Solar heating” – that crap I’d been sold!)
But although it was snowing,
I soon got her glowing
By time-honored methods of old.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jason Talbott, Brian Allgar, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, and Jon Gearhart. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Jason Talbott:

It is getting a little bit cold.
Uncomfortably so, truth be told.
The consignment shop coat
Keeps me warm waist to throat,
But I sure miss my pants (which I sold.)

Brian Allgar:

Her feet were so bitterly cold
In midwinter; she found when she strolled
That the snow hurt her toes.
Well, no wonder they froze,
For the shoes that she’d bought were not soled.

Byron Miller:

“Wrap your scarf so you don’t catch a cold.”
Every year, by my wife, I’m retold.
Though I’ve tried to tell Iris
Colds come from a virus,
For her, this just never gets old.

Jon Gearhart:

My wife can be wickedly cold,
Domineering, and strikingly bold,
But she doesn’t scare me
Cause I’m totally free
To always do just what I’m told!

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (176)

Saturday, August 9th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A psychic impaled on a post,
Who was weary of being a host,
Said: “I’m not at all mad;
It’s a boon to me, Vlad,
Cuz I’m ready to give up the ghost.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Fred Bortz, Allen Wilcox, Byron Ives, and Jon Gearhart. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Brian Allgar:

The bugler had played the Last Post,
And they’d drunk a memorial toast.
But they heard a faint shout
From the grave: “Lemme out!”
For the Colonel was far from a ghost.

Fred Bortz:

The priest was removed from his post
For creating a fraudulent host.
The substitute cracker
With nary a backer
Was leftover stale garlic toast.

Allen Wilcox:

A woman decided to post
Facebook pictures revealing the most
Private parts of her bod
With no text – why, how odd?
She was way, way too bashful to boast.

Byron Ives:

With zits like a knotty pine post,
She repulsed all her peers, at least most.
But brainy Jerome
Held her hand, walked her home.
She had netted much more than she grossed

Jon Gearhart:

My wife may be dumb as a post,
But that’s not what matters the most.
Her heart’s golden pure,
She’s loyal for sure,
And spreads quicker than butter on toast!

Brian Allgar:

“You’ll find I’m as stiff as a post,”
Was the hopeful Lothario’s boast.
But the girl, unimpressed,
Said “You’re just like the rest,
Except that you’re shorter than most.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (175)

Saturday, August 2nd, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to FRED BORTZ, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

Fred Bortz:

A competitor of the first rank
Took his speed-eating prize to the bank.
He never got flustered.
With relish, he mustered
The courage to swallow each frank.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Diane Groothuis, Brian Allgar, Konrad Schwoerke, and Sancho Panza. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Diane Groothuis:

A lady of very high rank
Gave her butler a check that was blank,
Saying “Spend what you will.
The sex was a thrill,
And remember to re-fill my tank.”

Brian Allgar:

The General tried to pull rank
On a female cadet in his tank.
She was eager to please
And went down on her knees,
But the charge in his cannon was blank.

Konrad Schwoerke:

An artist, whose sketches would rank
With the best, was forthcoming and frank:
“It would seem that my muse
Is providing no cues,
So right now, I am drawing a blank.”

Sancho Panza:

A woman was trying to rank
The men who would lay by her flank,
But she couldn’t decide
If the time of the ride
Trumped the length and the width of their shank.

Brian Allgar:

The Captain, abusing his rank,
Exclaimed as the ship hit a bank,
“Forget children and women.
They’ll have to try swimmin’,”
Then jumped in the lifeboat … which sank.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (174)

Saturday, July 26th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to JON GEARHART, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

In building, like love, don’t be rash
By beginning to screw in a flash.
First, be gentle and drill
Tender holes with your Skil,
So you won’t split that nice piece of ash.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy, Brian Allgar, Christopher Finch Reynolds, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, Konrad Schwoerke, Scott Crowder, and Shannon Tucker. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Colleen Murphy:

Dear Jilted, do not act too rash
By tossing his goods in the trash.
Though your heart may be hurting,
It’s eased by converting
His better belongings to cash.

Brian Allgar:

His back had developed a rash
Where his mistress had wielded the lash.
“Killer bees!” he tried lying -
His wife wasn’t buying,
And bundled him out with the trash.

Christopher Finch Reynolds:

Our approach to the climate is rash:
As rain forests burn in a flash,
Our future ambition,
“Less carbon emission,”
Is forgotten when we want more cash.

David McCormick:

“Dear Sirs, Your new ointment ‘STOP RASH!’
Removed all my pubes! It’s just trash!” …
“Dear Madam, Our pills
‘GET PUBES!’ fix such ills” …
“Dear Sirs, Now I’ve grown a moustache!”

Konrad Schwoerke:

There are some who will think that it’s rash
Saying super type heroes are trash
In the sack, but it’s true.
They’re not better than you,
If they’re coming as quick as the Flash.

Scott Crowder:

A gal was upset by a rash
That was six inches south of her sash,
But happened to learn
it was just whisker burn,
So she made her man shave his mustache.

Shannon Tucker:

A beech and a birch were quite rash,
And the beech said, “I’ll bet you some cash
“That sapling is mine.”
Said the birch, “I decline.”
Said the woodpecker, “Nice piece of ash!”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (173)

Saturday, July 19th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to SCOTT CROWDER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A woman was perched on the floor.
She threw down her sponge and she swore
And yelled at her gent:
“That is not what I meant
When I told you to use the back door!”

Congratulations to KEVIN AHERN, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A lady was pacing the floor
Of my favorite gardening store.
She wanted a chance
To talk about plants,
But I’d never seen herbivore.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, Konrad Schwoerke, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, CJ@ProArtz, and Allen Wilcox. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

David McCormick:

The boxer lies flat on the floor.
The referee’s count reaches “FOUR!”
Pirouetting, he then
Begins counting again…
(He once ran a ballet dance corps.)

Konrad Schwoerke:

I was showing my moves on the floor.
This chick cheered, so I knew I could score.
Then we walked to the car
Where I said, “Here we are.”
But my mom wouldn’t open the door.

Byron Miller:

I’ve got babies all over the floor.
They turn up at my door more and more.
I may soon blow a gasket –
Each day brings a basket
That’s tagged “Made in El Salvador”.

CJ@ProArtz:

Dora screwed the old salts on the floor.
Scrubbing up wasn’t much of a chore.
When they rolled from on top
She retrieved a wet mop
To push seamen right out the back door.

Allen Wilcox:

The Speaker demanded the floor,
Grabbed the mike and then let out a roar:
“The POTUS is lazy.
He’s driving me crazy.
Now back to my nap – let me snore.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (172)

Sunday, July 13th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

The barkeep’s wife, Tilley, I’d drill
Ev’ry chance I could get — what a thrill!
But I took it too far
Having sex in the bar;
I got caught with my hand in his Till.

Congratulations to JON GEARHART, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Okay ladies, you know the drill:
No diaphragm, condom, or pill
Will be bought by employers
Who have the best lawyers
Like Hobbyin’ Lobbyists will.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Allen Wilcox, Kathy El-Assal, Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy, Fred Bortz, and Byron Ives. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Tim James:

My hillbilly gal knew the drill;
She would make the best moonshine until
Fed’ral agents one day
Came and took her away.
Now she’s gone, and I yearn for her still.

Allen Wilcox:

The delegates – they knew the drill.
As they lined up to sign, they were still.
To declare they were free,
Which soon they would be,
They stood tall and were all dressed to quill.

Kathy El-Assal:

In cat houses, girls know the drill:
It’s giving their clients a thrill.
With mirrors revealing
What clothes were concealing,
The need for blue pills will be nil.

Brian Allgar:

Said Shakespeare “Thou knowest the drill.
’Tis said every Jack shall have Jill.
’Twixt thy legs I shall lay me –
Seek not to gainsay me,
For where there’s a way, there’s a Will.”

Colleen Murphy:

The young man repeated the drill
He did with incredible skill.
(He perfected this knowledge
By going to college.)
Pour the beer, chug it down, then refill.

Fred Bortz:

The surgeon perfected the drill.
He made each incision with skill.
He created a hole
Where there once was a pole,
And Ms. Willa was no longer Bill.

Byron Ives:

In boot camp, Will sure knew the drill.
To shoot on the range was a thrill.
He’d never been shot,
But it made his sack taut
When the sergeant yelled, “FIRE AT WILL!”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (171)

Saturday, July 5th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

Rhett Butler reserved a nice suite
Where he and Miss Scarlett could meet.
But the bed had no linen.
The maid explained, grinnin’,
“Sir, frankly, I don’t give a sheet!”

Congratulations to CHRIS DOYLE, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Ferlinghetti thinks status is sweet,
And for Ginsberg, renown is a treat.
But Jack Kerouac’s fame
Brings him obvious shame:
He’s becoming, well, read as a Beat.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, Will T. Laughlin, Allen Wilcox, Scott Crowder, Robert Basler, Brian Allgar, Andrew Ryan, and Diane Groothuis. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

David McCormick:

I’ve married a woman who’s sweet,
One who constantly keeps herself neat,
One who cleans, one who cooks,
One who’s blessed with good looks.
I’m hoping these five never meet!

Will T. Laughlin:

The folks in the Honeymoon Suite
Are being a tad indiscreet.
Simple moans, groans and cries
Cause the staff no surprise –
But good god! What’s the source of that bleat?

Allen Wilcox:

Bragged the artist, “To paint is so sweet.
Slopping gobs on the sidewalk’s a treat.
I’ve done Pollock one better;
An opposites getter,
My work’s both abstract and concrete.”

Scott Crowder:

A man in the mood for a sweet,
Indulged in his favorite treat.
Though never a wuss,
He’s now a big puss.
They say that you are what you eat.

Robert Basler:

“Mademoiselle, are you over dix-huit?”
I would ask all the French chicks I meet.
If she’s 18 or older
I start to get bolder.
If she’s not, then I’m out of there, VITE!

Brian Allgar:

At Halloween, saucy and sweet,
A young lady was trawling my street
As the “Halloween Whore,”
So I opened the door,
And the trick that she turned was a treat.

Andrew Ryan:

My girlfriend is terribly sweet,
And I tried to propose in a Tweet.
But I’ve just asked if she
Would marinate me.
God-damn you dumb Auto-complete!

Diane Groothuis:

A cellist was playing a suite
By Bach at a musical meet
To tunes contrapuntal.
She showed them full-frontal,
And they noted her boobs hit her feet.

Will T. Laughlin:

Bach went, while composing his Suite,
To a Gentlemen’s Club for a treat.
As he watched the girls dance,
Inspiration (by chance)
Sent him “Air on the G-String,” complete.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (170)

Saturday, June 28th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse, which he calls “HEIDI-HO.”

Attracted by Hollywood vice,
Men swarmed to her brothel like mice.
So, what kept them staying?
You know the old saying:
“Time’s fun when we’re all having Fleiss.”

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

The Captain gave friendly advice:
“Drink up, folks, it’s all in the price!”
The party was manic
Aboard the “Titanic”;
The guests were all breaking the ice.

Congratulations to CHRIS DOYLE, KONRAD SCWOERKE, BRIAN ALLGAR, and WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who jointly win a special Limerick Repartee Award for this limerick exchange:

Chris Doyle:

“Writing lim’ricks, my love, is a vice,”
Says my wife, “And you’ll pay a stiff price.
Spending all of your time
Crafting meter and rhyme
Means that I’m growing colder than ice.”

Konrad Schwoerke:

Writing lim’ricks just might be a vice,
And will seldom add amorous spice,
But my wife is sure glad
I’m not out being bad
Like the past, where I had (once or twice).

Brian Allgar:

Just tell her that you’d never cheat her,
But honestly, nothing is sweeter
For limerick-writers
Than spending all-nighters
With girls who admire your meter.

Will T. Laughlin:

Gee, Brian: it could be my age,
But I seem to have bypassed that stage.
If I’m hoping for action,
I don’t get much traction
From words that I put on a page.

I’ll ask my wife, “What do you think
Of this verse I just wrote?” First she’ll blink;
Then she’ll hand me some cash
From her personal stash,
And say, “Find some loose women. Or drink.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Konrad Schwoerke, Kevin Ahern, Brian Allgar, Fred Bortz, Jon Gearhart, and Paula R. Moore. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Konrad Schwoerke:

Truth be told, I have only one vice,
A small quirk that, for me, adds some spice.
It’s not thousand foot drops,
Or a fistfight with cops;
What I love is to skate on thin ice.

Kevin Ahern:

The dog pound gives out this advice
In a clever attempt to entice:
“Leasing dogs is a way
To test out a stray.
You should check out our low cur rent price.”

Brian Allgar:

Miranda knew nothing of vice,
And her swimsuit was modestly nice.
But the guys queued for fucks:
“Special offer, five bucks!”
She’d forgotten to take off the price.

Fred Bortz:

My inner boss has this advice.
You may limerick-off once or twice.
Any more and he curses:
“I’ll choke your vice, verses!”
I can’t let my book pay the price.

Jon Gearhart:

Politicos share the same vice.
It’s power, whatever the price.
They’ll cater their views
Depending on who’s
In the crews they must schmooze and entice.

Paula R. Moore:

A fellow had bought a device
Which was sold to make gold out of rice.
He cooked it and milled it
And blanched it and grilled it.
No gold, but it did entice mice.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (169)

Sunday, June 22nd, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to CHRIS DOYLE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

Our lab rat, for cheese, ran 10Ks,
But of late appears lost in a daze.
He has yet to complete
This new task, and won’t eat
If he doesn’t start wending his maze.

And congratulations once again to CHRIS DOYLE, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

“This plant deserves more than okays,”
Rev’rend Spooner said, sparing no praise.
“See its mesh of racemes?
That is part of God’s schemes,
For He works in wisteria’s maze.”

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Ira Bloom, Brian Allgar, Konrad Schwoerke, Val Fish, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Ira Bloom:

The evangelists shouted okays,
To the plot to bring on End of Days,
By converting the Jews.
(When my tribe got the news,
We responded with countless oy veys).

Brian Allgar:

Pascal wouldn’t wait for okays;
His ideas never ceased to amaze.
He would tell the discerning:
“My mind is just burning
With notions – in fact, I’m a Blaise.”

Konrad Schwoerke:

Instead of some paltry okays,
My invention will garner high praise.
It’s a fission pipe lighter;
A real hot igniter,
So surely in glory I’ll blaze.

Val Fish:

A fellow was dating two Kays
And saw them on alternate days.
Double-booked them one night.
An ensuing cat fight
Saw the end of his two-timing ways.

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

A fellow is dating two Kays
But they differ in notable ways.
One has him dance nude
To build up the mood.
The other one lies there and bays.

Brian Allgar:

The artist pronounced his okays
As he finished the painting with glaze.
But it aged where it hung
While the subject stayed young,
For the portrait was Dorian Gray’s.

Will T. Laughlin:

We applaud when the Head Chef okays
His filets in a veal demi-glaze.
As he sends out the plate,
Cries the maître d’: “Wait!
Mr. Trump says it needs mayonnaise!”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (168)

Saturday, June 14th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to CHRIS DOYLE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

“A split of your assets seems right,”
Said the judge to the couple’s delight,
“But I’m taking the collie
Away ’cause, by golly,
I won’t halve a dog in this fight.”

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Though our dog is unable to write,
He can play the piano all night.
He finds Chopin a breeze
As he chews up the keys,
But his Bach is far worse than his bite.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Konrad Schwoerke, Colleen Murphy, Brian Allgar, Bob Dvorak, Will T. Laughlin, Allen Wilcox, and Chris Doyle. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Konrad Schwoerke:

As he soars, banking left and then right,
He’s exalted by effortless flight.
He considers a joint,
But there’s really no point;
He’s already as high as a kite.

Colleen Murphy:

The one time my husband was right
He squealed like a pig with delight,
But I took it in stride
As I knew deep inside
His chance of recurrence was slight.

Brian Allgar:

The witch was performing her rite
In Macbeth, giving Gingrich a fright.
When she reached “Eye of Newt”
He jumped up, and said “Shoot!
She ain’t gettin’ my eyeballs tonight!”

Bob Dvorak:

A fellow was trying to write
A limerick funny and trite.
But he harbored a hunch
That his lines held no punch,
So he drank some and slept through the night.

Will T. Laughlin:

Congressional folk on the Right
Resemble a 20-Watt light:
They’re easy to buy;
Don’t get changed ’til they die;
And — of course — they’re not terribly bright.

Allen Wilcox:

“We don’t see why you can’t write Wright right,”
Said Orville and Wilbur with bite.
The reporter, who had
Never seen them so mad,
Thought it best that he too take up flight.

Chris Doyle:

A young lawyer who hated to write
Legal documents gave up the fight
When she noticed that meter
And rhyme were much sweeter.
For Mad, it was love at verse sight.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (167)

Saturday, June 7th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

Her eyes were the color of slate.
And her oral endurance? First-rate.
Half a dozen and two
Guys collapsed while she blew.
It all proved that she sure could fell eight.

Congratulations to SCOTT CROWDER, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Her eyes were the color of slate.
Her breasts would increase my heart’s rate.
And now that I think
Of the part that was pink,
This last line will just have to wait.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Konrad Schwoerke, Chris Doyle, Jen Harris, Brian Allgar, CJ@ProArtz, Sue Dulley, and Fred Bortz. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Konrad Schwoerke:

The sea was the color of slate
When we spied her afloat on a crate.
Once aboard our small ship
She began a slow strip,
So we drew to see who she’d first mate.

Chris Doyle:

With an Aussie tour topping his slate,
William tended to matters of state.
He could not have foretold
What the world would behold
On his trip — the “down under” of Kate.

Jen Harris:

I’m forgetful — my mind’s a blank slate.
But poetry can carry weight.
Now – what was I writing?
For what am I fighting?
Please apprize me, before it’s too late.

Brian Allgar:

His teeth are the colour of slate;
He walks with a simian gait;
He has a huge belly
That shakes like a jelly –
Which is why he prefers a blind date.

CJ@ProArtz:

I’m aging — my mind’s a blank slate.
My hair loss reveals a bald pate.
I’m so ready to squeal
Over lost sex appeal.
My only gain, lately, is weight.

Sue Dulley:

The menu, scrawled out on a slate
In the pub, let us choose what we ate.
The food was not ‘light’
And the staff took all night,
But the dinner was well worth the weight.

Fred Bortz:

With Agnew on Tricky Dick’s slate,
The country would first have to wait
For Crook 2 to resign.
Then the boss was in line
To receive his appropriate fate.

But Gerry Ford then cleared the slate,
Leaving us in a dubious state.
But there’s one thing for sure,
When a pol is impure,
The scandal will end with a “gate.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (166)

Saturday, May 31st, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to SCOTT CROWDER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A woman whose hair is all mussed
Avows that the wind is robust,
Though everyone sees
By the dirt on her knees,
It was caused by a blow, not a gust.

Congratulations to CHRIS DOYLE, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for two limericks, each of which received the most Facebook “likes.”

In school, the three R’s were a must,
But at ‘rithmetic I was a bust.
My subtracting is fine,
But when adding, like 9
And 16, I get somehow nonplussed.

and

The Tin Man, like everyone, must
Meet his Maker and wind up as dust,
But unlike you and me,
On his stone “R.I.P.”
Will denote it’s in peace that he’ll rust.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Fred Bortz, Sue Dulley, Brian Allgar, Robert Basler, Robert Schechter, Johanna Richmond, Kirk Miller, Konrad Schwoerke, and Shannon Tucker. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Fred Bortz:

The couple emerged very mussed
From a tryst that had sated their lust.
They enjoyed S and M,
He informed us: “Ahem,
Yes she is the one that I trussed.”

Sue Dulley:

Some weeks I decide that I must
Stop yielding to limerick lust.
Then a quick look, and — yikes —
So many rate “Likes.”
My resolve soon dissolves into dust.

Brian Allgar:

Inga’s clothes were disheveled and mussed;
The wife found her husband and cussed:
“I have told you before,
The au pair’s not a whore,
So you’ve not paid her this time, I trust!”

Robert Basler:

A vat of stomped grapes is called must.
Without it, your wine would go bust.
So squish all that pinot
And make us some vino.
Who knows? It could lead to some lust!

Robert Schechter:

On every piano there must
Be a dignified Beethoven bust
To look down its nose
At the tunes you compose
And to shoot you a look of disgust.

Johanna Richmond:

On my birthday it’s hard but I must
Wear a grin and disguise my disgust.
Though I’m glad to get older,
The ache in my shoulder
Is putting a crimp in my lust.

Kirk Miller:

The man’s horny and knows that he must
Tell his wife that he’s feeling much lust.
If his wife’s in the mood,
He’ll suggest something lewd
And then hope that his wife gets his thrust.

Konrad Schwoerke:

There once was a camel in must
Who could not quench the heat of his lust.
In that hot desert setting,
With limited sweating,
The beastie was quick to combust.

Shannon Tucker:

“Good grades are an absolute must!”
They say throughout school, but I just
Don’t think that mere grades
Will reward you in spades:
Better, grades and a double D bust.

Konrad Schwoerke:

Before there is wine there is must.
Before there is love there is lust.
This linear flow
Is everywhere, so
Before there are bunnies there’s dust.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (165)

Saturday, May 24th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to ROBERT SCHECHTER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

Robert Schechter:

Said the fiddler who’d broken his bow,
“Have no fear! I’m a consummate pro!
I’ll do what I gotta
With pure pizzicata,
And with pluck I will finish the show!”

Congratulations to KEVIN AHERN and SCOTT CROWDER, who are tied in winning this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for their respective limericks which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Kevin Ahern:

As he tied up his art with a bow,
The artist declared “I don’t know
How I’ll get to the Louvre
Because I can’t move.
I wish I could make my van Gogh.”

Scott Crowder:

A woman broke up with her beau,
The banker who had lotsa dough,
And gave her gold rings
With other nice things,
Yet nary a single big O.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Chris Doyle, Colleen Murphy, Ailsa McKillop, Brian Allgar, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Will T. Laughlin, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, and Val Fish. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Chris Doyle:

“The hooker’s gone aft!” hollers Beau
As the yacht sinks. Says Jeff, “Let her go.
We have only one oar
In the dinghy. What’s more,
Daddy swore she’s a hard ho to row.”

Colleen Murphy:

I once tried to shoot with a bow,
Then I searched for my shaft to and fro.
I could tell I was not
William Tell when my shot
Found its mark in my neighbor kid’s toe.

Ailsa McKillop:

I undid the ribbon and bow
Of the chess program gift from my bro.
By computer outclassed
I was checkmated fast!
But I won the next match — taekwondo.

Brian Allgar:

Oh, Lenore!” cried her heartbroken beau,
“Shall I see you again?” Poor old Poe
Heard a tap at the door,
And a voice: “Nevermore!”
Thus the raven continued to crow.

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

The President’s dog is named Bo,
And whenever he’s planning to go
And do something good
Like all doggies should,
The Republican dogs all bark, “NO!!!!!”

Will T. Laughlin:

A woman got dumped by her beau.
“But… why?” she demanded to know.
“To be honest,” he said,
“You’ve no talent for head.”
(Now they’ve BOTH had a terrible blow.)

Phyllis Sterling Smith:

A musician was buying a bow
For which instrument he didn’t know.
“If I’m feeling mellow
It might be a cello
But fiddling’s my failing. Let’s go!”

Val Fish:

A woman broke up with her beau
Whose assets were woefully low.
She waved him goodbye
For a far sweeter guy;
Sugar daddy with truck-loads more dough.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (164)

Saturday, May 17th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A filcher of cookware did pick
An attorney exceedingly slick.
With no frippery, he’ll
Do a slippery deal
That will make all the charges non-stick.

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Brian Allgar:

“Choose a card, any card, take your pick,”
Said the conjurer doing his trick.
So I pilfered his Visa,
The silly old geezer,
And vanished from sight double-quick.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Chris Doyle, Steve Whitred, Chris O’Carroll, Will T. Laughlin, Tim James, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Chris Doyle:

“It’s Robin,” said Miley, “I’ll pick
To perform with on stage in a shtick
Where I’m bending and twerking,
Symbolically jerking
Him off.” Yes, she laid it on Thicke.

Steve Whitred:

George Carlin performed and said pick
The appropriate place to say “prick.”
Go ahead, prick your finger,
But if you malinger
And finger your prick, you’re a hick.

Chris O’Carroll:

A woman was trying to pick
Which suitor to date. She mused, “Mick
Is well hung; so is Nick;
Whereas Brick’s smaller dick
Is offset by a bankroll that’s thick.”

Will T. Laughlin:

Today’s GOP tends to pick
Its facts from attacks that will stick.
Now history shows
They were picking their Knows
While the planet grew terribly sick.

Tim James:

It wasn’t too prudent to pick
Up a six-pack and knock it back quick.
But there’s no need to fear;
I don’t bet gunk from dreer.
So I’m sone stober, Ocifer (*hic*).

Konrad Schwoerke:

If it’s sex you crave, Leila’s my pick,
And the toys she employs are so slick.
Though she’s often engaged,
You can still have her paged.
That’s cuz Leila does not miss a trick.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (163)

Sunday, May 11th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

The plan? Get a stripper to break
Through the icing, and jump from the cake.
But we blew it, I fear.
So remember: next year,
Put the woman in AFTER we bake.

Congratulations to JANE SHELTON HOFFMAN and MARK KANE, who tie in winning this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for their respective limericks which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

If you’re in your car, you should brake
Whenever you come to a lake,
Cause cars cannot go
Inside H20,
And you can’t attend your own wake.

Mark Kane:

Dear hubby, please take a short break.
Remember the deal: Give and Take?
I’m sensing your need,
But please don’t proceed,
Until you are sure I’m awake.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Chris Doyle, Steve Whitred, Brian Allgar, Allen Wilcox, and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Chris Doyle:

These tools have a bond we can’t break
Since by nature they’re both on the make.
So you’ll see them all day
In the field making hay–
That’s the way of a hoe and a rake.

Steve Whitred:

A golfer could not catch a break
From the bogeys he’d frequently make.
Though his goal was to scratch
Ev’ry hole in the match,
In the end he just couldn’t par take.

Brian Allgar:

Count Dracula, taking a break
At a restaurant, made a mistake.
He thought that ‘filet’
Was the dish of the day,
But they gave him instead a big stake.

Allen Wilcox:

A woman was trying to break
A habit that made her heart ache.
She slept when friends died.
“I can’t help it,” she cried.
“It’s so hard to awake at a wake.”

Tim James:

A bottle blonde just couldn’t break
Her compulsion to go on the make.
The old rich guys she’d bed
Had their egos well fed
‘Cause her hair wasn’t all that she’d fake.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!