It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
The comic made jokes that were lame.
“I’ll tell you why Caesar’s my name:
I was set in a whirl
By this beautiful girl –
I saw her, I conquered, I came.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, Jon Gearhart, Brendan Powers, Fred Bortz, Kirk Miller, and Sue Dulley. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Mother’s sister is just a bit lame,
But she has quite a powerful frame.
She encountered a mugger
And laid out the bugger.
Since then she’s been called “Auntie Maim.”
If while hunting, you leave your prey lame,
Please don’t make it your new claim to fame.
It’s not cool when you brag
About wounding a stag…
Unless aiming to maim is your game.
Do you want to know what I think’s lame?
I’m sick of our Congress’s game.
Are political folk
In all countries a joke?
I’ll bet Poland has more of the Sejm.
My boss, he tells jokes that are lame.
“You’re so funny!” I falsely proclaim.
That’s the way it must go
Until I’m CEO
And can give him a dose of the same!
Brigitte’s lingerie isn’t lame,
But that’s what her posts oft proclaim.
I declare here today
That she’s hot in lamé.
It’s the “accent aigu” that’s to blame!
My TV has a setting that’s lame.
It’s a shame they mislabeled the name.
I set “brightness” to “max”
And then gave a few whacks,
But intelligence stayed just the same.
A fellow, incredibly lame,
Cried in rapturous joy when he came:
“I love you, Liz, madly!”
It ended quite badly
’Cause Elizabeth wasn’t her name.
The earliest lim’ricks were lame:
“There once was a man (insert name)
Who did (such-and-such,
Not amounting to much)…”
And line 5 as line 1 was the same.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
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