It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to DAWN EPSTEIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman expected to fret
When her husband brought home a Corvette,
But she soon was elated;
The car had inflated
His under-extended pipette.
Congratulations to KEVIN AHERN, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
The fisherman now will not fret.
He’s in love with a lovely coquette
And knows that this lass
Will help him catch bass
Cuz he learned that her name is Annette.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Kirk Miller, Byron Ives, Tim James, Way2fractious a/k/a Noisemaker, Will T. Laughlin, Allen Wilcox, and Jon Gearhart. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
“There is really no reason to fret,
Your retriever is fine,” said the vet,
“But I fear you are not,
For your nose is quite hot
When it ought to be chilly and wet.”
If the turf on your lawn dies, don’t fret.
Simply go to a sod farm. I’ll bet
They will have what you need.
You don’t have to plant seed.
Instant grassification you’ll get.
Mr. Favre told his players, “Don’t fret
We’re down by eight points, but I’m BRETT.
We’ve less than a minute
But we’re gonna win it,
As soon as I sext that brunette.”
A trapeze artist tended to fret
’Cause as partners he only could get
Gals named Nancy and Claire.
As he spun through the air,
He so wanted to work with Annette.
At the opera, Mame started to fret
That she may have misplaced her lorgnette,
But the music she heard
Sounded really absurd.
Was that 8-track or maybe cassette?
Will T. Laughlin:
Though Republicans claim that they fret
At the size of the National Debt,
Just promise one more
And observe how excited they get.
A fellow was starting to fret
That his memr’y was starting to get
A bit odd now and then,
He forgot what he hoped to forget.
Fingers press the right string to each fret;
Strumming lightly, our love song you’ll get.
Such melodious tones
Harmonize with your moans
As I tickle your G-string, my pet.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
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