It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
By a grizzled old pig, I was gored.
As I waited for succor, I roared.
It was not the damned pain,
But emotional strain,
‘Cause I really do hate being bored.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy, Tim James, Christopher Finch Reynolds, Brian Allgar, Robert Schechter, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, and Kevin Ahern. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
The gambler went out of his gourd
When the guy from the other team scored.
He had wagered his spouse,
Plus his truck and his house.
What on earth would he do with no Ford?
A woman went out of her gourd
As her paramour noisily snored.
After sex, though, she found
That he made not a sound,
So each night ever after he scored.
Christopher Finch Reynolds:
A versatile fruit is the gourd:
It’s a pot in which liquid is stored,
While in China the sages
Kept crickets in cages,
As gourd music, when stringed, struck a chord.
The candidate ended “Al Gore’d”;
In the popular vote, he’d outscored,
But a few dimpled chads
Fixed by Jeb and his lads
Meant that Dubbya got the reward.
I went to Pamplona, was gored,
Then trampled beneath a great horde,
But no, I’m not whining.
There’s this silver lining:
For once I can’t say I was bored.
On our quest for the ultimate gourd,
We went driving upstate in our Ford;
Where we wandered like bumpkins
Through fields of ripe pumpkins;
Our children’s delight, the reward.
Norwegians bored out of their gourd
Seek vacations to provide them reward,
So everyone chooses
To go out on cruises.
It’s something they all can a fjord.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
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