Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: NET at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: March 4, 2023)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using NET at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CLASS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CLASS-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
POLICE, LONG, PUSHY, ELITE, MATCH.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 5, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 4, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my NET-Rhyme Limerick:
Though you claim that you’re sorry, it’s clear
That you’re saying it just out of fear,
And you’re hoping to net
Some forgiveness. Bad bet!
You are poor at appearing sincere.
And here’s my CLASS-Themed Limerick:
If you’re totally lacking in class
And you always behave like an ass,
Then kindly don’t whine
And call someone a swine
Who’s responded in kind with some sass.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
A pushy young fellow named Pete
Had a longing to join the elite.
He was far from a saint,
And showed little restraint,
So Peter’s now under concrete.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Apology Limerick, Class Humor, Class Limerick, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Sincerity, Writing Prompts
Match.com Dating Site
On “Match” I saw photos of “Don.”
Then clicked under the link, whereupon
I read, “I’m elite
My profession’s real neat:
I’m an artist and also a con.”
The police here are known to be tough
Arresting you’s just not enough
If you fight back and are pushy
You’ll wind up on your tushy
‘Cause none of’em take any guff!
The police here are known to be tough
Arresting you’s just not enough
If you fight back and are pushy
You’ll wind up on your tushy
‘Cause none of’em take any guff!
This squad is elite. Have respect!
To triumph, you mustn’t object!
Behold Grammar Police!
And your flubs will decrease!
Be assured they will serve and correct!
Correction of above limerick: “Listen Up”
Our squad is elite. Have respect.
To triumph, you mustn’t object.
We’re the Grammar Police!
We ensure you’ll decrease.
All your flubs. We will serve and correct.
In the garden amongst hollyhocks,
Stands Pandora, a statuesque fox.
Carved from marble, her chassis
Is nakedly classy
Including her infamous box.
The hooker was starting to sweat
At the task that she found she’d been set.
Though she said she could toot
On her customer’s flute,
His was more like a bass clarinet.
I had caught something big in my net;
It was slimy and ugly and wet,
With a face that was odd,
Between turtle and cod –
Called it “Mitch”, took it home as a pet.
The boat masts stand ready, then gone,
as sails cast their shadows so long.
The fishermen’s net
trawls deep waters violet,
while a symphony of light plays at dawn.
Pushmi-pullyu’s long fur may get bushy,
If you try to examine his tushy.
So, best to do little
With hair on his middle.
If you pull it, he’s bound to get pushy.
A classless Floridian gov
Is competing for right-wingers’ love.
The nonsense he spews
Insults anyone who’s
Got an IQ of 12 or above.
When fishing, he caught in his net
A mermaid, so ‘stacked’ (a brunette).
When he set her free,
He shouted with glee
“Your chest, I will not soon forget!”
The Swinging Nun
When a nun sings a Latin motet
A mad ecstasy follows whose net
Effect on the singer
Results in a swinger
And trysts in the abbey, I bet.
Senior Citizens Ladies: Memories of “The Dating Years”
As teenagers, girls didn’t sweat.
We smelled fresh after spritzing “Stopette”
Our big beehive hair
Had unmovable flair.
Due to using too much “Aqua Net”
When surfing around on the ‘Net,
All the troublesome threats can be met
With despondent despair
Or a shield from malware.
Be prepared so you don’t have to fret.
Class reunion, this year was on Zoom.
I rekindled the bonds from my room!
But I sneezed till the end,
Cuz Joan, my old friend
Wore strong-smelling Gucci perfume.
The first day in history class
I said, “Who’s that mystery lass?”
“She’s bad news”, ‘twas said.
“So, please lightly tread.
A lawnmo’er she is. You’d be grass.”
Two small fishes swam into my net.
Those are always the kind that i get.
Though I’d boil them or fry them,
It’s better to dry them.
They weigh less than an ounce soaking wet.
My compulsive first cousin, Lenore
Is so pushy, I can’t take much more!
I must call the police
To always release
Lenore from a Re-volving door.
The police rookie’s told “You’re elite!”
“You will make a great cop on the street!
But you start at dead last
In rank order so vast
And your shift is the worst on your beat.”
So we’re taught truth and fairness in schools
All submissions abide by the rules
More eyes judge than just two
Pupils learn to see through
And the students in this class aren’t fools…
It’s always a sure losing bet
when taking on the entire ‘net.
You’re just throwing thoughts
at bunches of bots.
It pays to log off and say “Nyet!”
He hit his last ball in the net
And lost the last point in the set
He started to scream
Just to let off steam
Then noticed his pants getting wet.
“The Very Mean Mother”
“How in hell will you find a good catch?
When all of your outfits don’t match!
Listen up, “old maid” Ruth
You are long in the tooth.
Get movin’ before your eggs hatch.”
‘Net’
A producer said, “Frankie, I’ll bet
You can be a top leading man yet.”
Avalon said, “That’s groovy,
But I can’t make a movie
If I have to work without Annette.”
This month’s theme is descending to farce
‘Cause the obvious rhyme word is Arse.
I will not condescend
To write smut ’bout rear end,
I will search for a rhyme with more clarse.
Sometimes, when I’m searching the net,
I lose track and completely forget
What it is I search FOR,
There’s distractions galore,
I’m… LOOK! – Pet food’s half-price at My Vet.
“Second Hand Women’s Clothing Shop” (Gently Used)
“Buy that sweater, Ms. Jones; it’s so neat.
It makes you look grand and elite!
It matches your hair,
Though it has a slight air
It was worn by a dachshund in heat.”
(Oops! too many “its”) “Second Hand Women’s Clothing Store”
Buy that sweater, Ms. Jones, it’s so neat!
You look lovely and very elite!
It matches your hair.
You might catch a slight air
From the dachshund who wore it in heat”
The classless society sought
By Karl Marx was with anarchy fraught.
He had drunk too much kvass.
That galoot had no class,
So, his efforts would all come to naught.
Though decidedly born middle class,
Dee feels strongly compelled to surpass
Her peers in their standing
But, what a crash landing!
She’s hit a thick ceiling of glass.
I weigh myself naked to get
A number reflecting my net
Weight, which makes me feel svelte;
Still, I’ve noticed my belt
‘Round my waist has created a welt.
In the annals of studs, he’s elite,
For his cock measures nearly two feet!
This guy’s dong is so long
It’s the subject of song
And a treat for all women in heat.
One shy hermit with friends on the Net,
Prefers people that he’s never met.
He’s hoping to get a
Nice girlfriend on Meta —
One that comes with a virtual pet.
A trapeze artist, stunning Suzette,
Got into my bed when we met.
As we got underway
She said, “Hold the foreplay
While I insert my old safety net.”
All those B-ball throws: “nothing but net”!
Oh, his Eagles in golf were “no sweat”!
And 300, he’s bowled
But, it will be told
Of his temper. The rest, we’ll forget.
Maitre d’Oohs and d’Ont’s ~
An elite place, he told me to cease
when I yelled the food had too much grease.
I spit out the sushi—
no match; he was pushy.
Before long, he called the police.
I once took some courses at Bard’s*
And went for the darn whole nine yards.
In one music class
I heard Philip Glass
Wrecking music and leaving just shards.
*Small liberal arts college in NY
For the record, Bard College is one of the schools I did NOT attend.
A CLASS ACT.
Our new maid is just so lower class.
She’s so beautiful – but she’s so crass.
She said, “Hey Lord Muck!
D’ya fancy a fumble?”
Well I did – but I just said, “I’ll pass.”
You’ve won! (Said this gal on the net),
A two-for-one trip to Tibet.
I’ve sent her the dough
And packed ready to go.
But I haven’t heard back from her yet.
I spend half my life on the net,
Surfing and covered in sweat.
But it’s not as you think
(With a nod and a wink)
I’m a fisherman, not a coquette!
I make all my own outfits from scratch,
From odd remnants of which I’ve a batch.
Says one friend who’s elite,
“Plaids and stripes are both sweet,
But perhaps you could do with a match.”
In honour of the Frost Report’s Famous Class Sketch of 1966:
“I look up to him” (Barker to Cleese),
“I look down on him” (Corbett’s got fleas).
Cleese; “With you, I lose face.”
Corbett ; “I know my place.”
Barker; “Middle class try to appease.”
An elite gourmet lunch ‘neath a perg’la
Was crashed, by a suave starving burglar.
The police caught the clot
Who then threw up the lot
At the station, – just short of the gurgler.
“The Princess” 1957 (class)
I went to see Doctor Foo Foo.
He lives here in Monaco too.
With a smile on his face,
He said, “Darling Grace,
Your blood, once again, is bright blue.”
I took my big dog to the vet
(A Rottweiler, – caught up in a net)
The vet seemed quite nice
But ignored my advice.
He’s off work now till more bones have set.
I searched all day long on the net
For the recipe for Crêpes Suzette.
But, alas, I got beat.
That dish’s too elite.
Did I settle for blintzes? You bet!
I love fish and I love getting wet,
I keep a cod in a tank for a pet.
I wear tights (open-mesh,
Only black, plenty flesh).
My fetish is wet fish to net.
When calling it “nothing but net”‘
The shot is as good as you’ll get.
That phrase would apply
To a sport I did try
But quit after only one set.
Long story short, – we’re a match.
It’s our second time ’round (that’s the catch),
But we’re over the glitch
And we still got the itch,
So tonight we’ll be starting from scratch.
The yoga instructor, alas,
Said “This is the very first class
We’ll do in the nude
So we mustn’t intrude
And really don’t look to harass.”
When students are let out of class,
The beach is one big, teeming mass.
Spring breakers descend;
When will this ever end?
One way to describe it: morass.
It is said of the arm of the law,
That it’s long and – I add – has a claw.
But in Cornwall, police
Are laid back, and the peace
Is maintained with a nod and a paw.
Class
Think your ‘Je ne sais quoi’ makes you hot?
Think you’ve got it, – so flaunt it alot?
If you believe that,
You’re gonna fall flat.
Need to flaunt it? Then Class you ain’t got.
The State of the Union
The question, once Biden got set:
How insane would Republicans get?
Though opinions were varied,
Each Dem should have carried
Some tranqs and a butterfly net.
Match.com (3 randoms)
My “Match” date said, “Lola, my sweet
I found a first- class place to eat.
The name is White Castle.
There’s never a hassle.
It’s where the elite eat the meat”
Pretending that he was elite,
He pulled off a scandalous feat.
How long will it last;
Will that fraudulent past
Eject him right out of his seat?
(George Santos – the heroic fighter pilot who shot down that balloon)
There’s a piece in the Daily Gazette
‘Bout something we shouldn’t forget:
“When you go to Doc Shore,
Pay ten dollars more
If you sought your disease on the Net.”
Match.com
My “Match” date seemed suave and elite.
Upper-class, very polished and neat.
I was kinda’ misled,
Cuz that night in the bed
I puked from the smell of his feet.
Words Should Describe The Objects
The Grammar Police of Kentucky
Are stouthearted, bold, and real plucky.
They have altered “delighted”
To “burdensome sighted”
And a vacuum’s a “loud pushy sucky”.
A man with hubris deep-set
Said “I can walk this high wire, no sweat”
But on the way down
He said with a frown
“I should have been using a net!”
Another Way Of Changing Words
The Grammar Police of Kentucky
Are stouthearted, bold and real plucky.
They insist “walkie talkie”
Should be “talkie walkie”
And a vacuum must be “pushy sucky”
I was jumping for joy when I met
My blonde beauty, the “hot” Bernadette.
She said, “I never lie.”
Yet she’ll always deny
That Miss Clairol knows she’s a brunette.
In Winter I wore for a bet
A flimsy pink dress made of net
My nipples~ they froze
As did my nose
And they haven’t thawed out , as of yet.🥹
“Be my wingman,” he begged me. “Get set,
‘Cause this bar has the hottest girls yet.
Look around. You’ll agree:
Lots of fish in the sea.
Be a pal; help me haul in the net.”
A fisherman tossed in the towel
And yelled at the fish with a scowl.
“By hook or by net
You’re too hard to get!
Let this be your funeral cowl!”
She was forty, a buxom brunette;
But, alas, she was not married yet.
So, she dyed her hair blonde.
And she soon made a bond
After casting a much wider net.
Our former Vice President Pence
Is keeping us all in suspense,
As we’re watching the net.
He’ll cite, I would bet,
The executive priv’lege defense.
On the other hand,
Our former Vice President Pence
Is keeping us all in suspense,
As we’re watching the net.
He’ll cite, I would bet,
His incompetence as his defense.
“Weak bladder!” (his need on the brink),
He said, – with a nod and a wink
“Though I’ve class and panache,
I’ve no time to dash
To the loo, so I’ll pee in the sink”.
Inspector Clouseau was a hoot
Conducting his tortured pursuit
Of cultured elite.
He’d police and entreat,
But “meenkey” was there to refute.
The note-orious choir was all wrong;
Off key, and droned on for too long.
Police muted their quest;
Put them under a rest
For murd’ring a really good song.
A police car pushed hard on my tail.
Was he looking to throw me in jail?
Before long I discerned
Why he rushed, when he turned
At the Krispy Kreme two-for-one sale.
Class
Should the right wish to weather elections
Sans the pain of the swing vote’s rejections,
One might get off their ass
And invest in some class,
Not congressional-level confections.
Class
As a teacher, my day spent in class
Might mistake some to think me not crass.
But try pissin’ me off,
Then bend over and cough
While I break off my foot in your ass!
POLICE, LONG, PUSHY, ELITE, MATCH.
The police have been long since replete
With support from the pushy elite:
Protecting their interests,
Resistent to inquests,
Ne’er matching their lengthy conceit.
Net
My exotic queen dancer, Annette,
Titillated me using a bet:
Offered, “Let us switch jobs!” –
Thought I might land some “bobs,”
But a lap dance was all I could get!
He spent his time surfing the net;
Seeking thrills that he never could get.
One head-turning spin
Had his wife looking in
Watching him seeing her on the set.
The World’s Best Database
The police have been waiting so long.
For something hi-tech and real strong.
Re face recognition,
FEDS completed their mission.
Not a thing can go wrong can go wrong.
At his orgy of rich and elite,
A police raid burst in from the street.
Then he woke, just to find
it was all in his mind,
except for his warm and wet sheet
I was shy when it came to the lasses,
Even those who were plain and wore glasses.
So I took me a class –
Which I managed to pass –
In Italian and pinching their asses.
“To be born lower-class doesn’t mean
That you have to stay humble, old bean.
You may rise through the ranks,
Make a pile and own banks,
And become nouveau riche – and obscene.”
“You’ve got lovely long legs, so you’re set.”
“Will they catch the guys’ eyes?” “Oh, you bet!
Hey, but when you go fishin’,
Ain’t no good you jus’ wishin’.
You’ll catch more if you sheathe them in net.”
He didn’t intend to beget
A child with the barmaid, Yvette.
Still, he’ll “do the right thing”
For his butt’s in a sling
As he faces her dad’s bayonet.
The pushy police came to me
With a warrant, and pics I could see
Was the blonde cop (she’s new)
Who last night used my loo,
And today, hacked my CCTV.
Her face was twin to a net
It looked like a twizzle up pet
Tried all kinds of creams
Still couldn’t redeem
So, she wore a plastic face set
He took an aerobic class
It was a very hard task
His legs wouldn’t work
And he felt like a jerk
He was such an out of shape mass
The POLICE in my town aren’t discrete.
Their rep is well-known on the street.
In their need to loom large,
(ELITE/PUSHY/In charge)
They make certain they don’t miss a beat.
Remember – whenever you fly,
These tips while you’re up in the sky:
Economy’s fine;
If you do wish to dine,
First Class, where the steaks are so high.
The POLICE cadet crammed, passed each test.
At academy, his marks were “the best”.
His scores were unMATCHed.
Rarely slept. They dispatched
Him to beat work so he’d get arrest
Her uncle is pushy and rude;
A long-winded, self-serving dude.
Who built him that way?
‘Twas his father, she’d say;
So Mary Trump knew we were screwed.
On a tour of a very chic winery,
A young person in haute couture finery,
With a gesture of class,
For a toast raised THEIR glass
And announced, to us all, they IS binary.
He tried to show that he had class
When toasting the bride with a glass.
He wished her so well
With poetry, swell
But blurted “The groom is an ass!”
Matching dogs with Police, it might seem,
Could ensure a great crime-busting team.
One exception was “Fleas,”
For each time he heard “Freeze!”
He would sit for his cone of ice cream.
First date: In a rest’rant, “The Patch”,
He said, “My thing’s LONG! I’m a catch!”
Now, she should have been shocked
That he mentioned he’s ‘cocked’
But said, “That I LIKE! We’re a match…”
One cheerleader squad made a bet,
That without too much trouble, they get
The basketball crowd
To cheer really loud:
They showed up wearing nothing but net.
The Trumpster continues to lurk;
Though justice may come for the jerk.
They’re dragging the net;
What result might they get?
My Ass Got Arrested would work.
The waitress thought he was an ass
And thoroughly lacking in class.
He picked up the tab
For lobster and crab
But tipped her in belches and gas.
Last year at Easter morn mass,
I dressed with incredible class,
When I went to sit,
my pants they did split
And Christ’s sheep, they all saw my ass
Short on class, but long on pushy,
He struck a match on a woman’s tushie;
And what did he net
For this elite cigarette?
A police station cell less than cushy.
Insisting they’re anti-elite,
They dance to the fright-wingers’ beat.
With rumors and fibs,
They love “owning the libs”;
That’s Faux News policing the street.
The truth doesn’t count as they sell it;
They’ll fire your ass if you tell it.
Hypocrisy reigns
When they count all their gains;
Their culture, as such – you can smell it.
He’s an art student — also, an ass.
When he draws a nude model, alas,
He enhances her tits
And her lower-down bits.
He’s advanced to the head of the crass.
Here’s Marjorie Taylor ummm, Greene
Who’s constantly making a scene.
In school, she would pass
Ev’ry one in each class;
By riding her broom in between.
You’d better take notes today, class.
You should know that to vote is a gas.
You do have a voice.
So go on, make your choice
For a pachyderm or for an ass.
Using Farmers.com as his tool,
Claud logged in to his first dating pool:
“Wanted — lady of class
With a really sweet ass.
Will consider a mild-mannered mule.”
When found matched up in bed with Annette,
John could see why his wife was upset.
He’d been caught in a lie.
He let out a long sigh,
“I swear, THIS one’s my last cigarette.”
When I last spoke to our Uncle Sam,
(And I’m sorry for this, yes I am.)
I was lacking in class,
When I said: “Kiss my ass.”
I assumed he’d at least use a dam.
When the Indian Untouchable Class
United with Gandhi en masse,
They no longer would cower,
And as soon as they’d shower,
Touchy-Feelies would soon come to pass.
It’s been a long week, you’ll agree,
And no lim’ricks from you do I see.
They’re always elite,
A bit indiscreet.
Oh, Lisi, just where can you be?
Seems increasingly often I get
These insatiable urges to bet.
So I game and I gain,
Now my wealth is ‘insane’
Poor folk tell me “that’s gross”, – l smile “Net”!
“It’s been said of Marie Antoinette
That she fancied a young baronet.
Their liaison was brief,
And it ended in grief,
When her womanly needs went unmet.”
Wheeling; dealing, (on more than one phone);
Sole int’rest? Himself – him alone.
Didn’t do well at school, –
No credits. No fool, –
This dude’s in a class of his own.
His manner is pushy and strong
As part of the dating scene throng.
He’s ready to pounce
Well, except where it counts;
Which means that he’ll never belong.
McCarthy said “Tucker, you get
To go through this fabulous set
Of video stuff.
You can bet there’s enough
To mangle the narrative yet.”
“To the Cath’lic ‘police’ I must speak:
It’s so long since I gave it a tweak”.
“How long has it been?”
“Centimetres? Nineteen!
Oh wait! – you mean SINCE! – A whole week”.
The x-rated call up was crass;
Auditioning actors with sass.
One fellow was sought
For the tool that he brought;
That moved him ahead of the class.
A couple changes to my posting above:
The x-rated call up was crass;
Auditioning actors with sass.
One fellow was sought
For the member he brought
And rose to the head of the class.
She approached me and asked for a match.
I finished my drink. Down the hatch.
I said: “Your place or mine?”
I longed to entwine,
And a social disease I did catch.
The longed for good news is released.
The Hudson’s been so well policed,
That the cops in their launches
Can now sit on their haunches;
Since the sighting of pirates has ceased.
Now class, this is gonna be fun;
You’ll hear how the rhythm is done.
When political types
Show their musical stripes,
The G.O.P. claps on the one.
One walrus bull, still in his youth,
Was pushy and often uncouth.
He approached a young cow,
Barking, “Let’s do it NOW —
Before we get long in the tooth!”
Hey Mad, here’s my entry for the Random Word Generator contest
There lived a quite pushy elite,
Whose tennis skills couldn’t be beat,
But during a match,
A police called dispatch
“This guy’s racket’s too long to compete!”
NET
There once was a fisherman named Bret
Who loved to cast out his big net
But one day his net tore
And fish swam out the door
Leaving Bret with a catch of regret
She was rich; an elite, – quite a catch.
For a lowly police man, – no match.
Or so one might think,
But he gave her a wink,
Now they’re married with kids (quite a batch).
There’s so much that is caught in a net
Like those pucks, balls of sport, fish so wet
And crustaceans, all sizes.
Don’t forget butterflieses!
This net ‘lim’ was such fun and no sweat!
She was fishing, and hauled in a batch
No one else on the jetty could match.
Before long it got hot.
She stripped down on the spot,
Leaving all to admire her … um … catch.
She thought he might be a nice catch
To ward off her loneliness patch.
They drank from the cup;
Then his “Missy” showed up.
So long, pal – that’s game, set and match.
I left her with: “So long. Good bye.”
And my girlfriend then started to cry.
She really did grieve.
So, why did I leave?
The police came and got me. That’s why!
They’re cheering the Florida gov
Who claims he gets help from above.
He’s dumbing down schools
Into classrooms for fools
That MAGAfied “scholars” will love.
Dirty Harry, who longed for release,
From frustrations he felt for Police,
Threw his badge clean away.
But his gun made his day,
So he figured, “I’m keeping the piece.”
Artie Shaw played a hot clarinet.
Did you say he’s the greatest? You bet!
“And the Angels (did) sing”,
When Shaw did his thing —
Adding klezmer to jazz in this set.
Deejay Donald is pushing some tunes
While a crowd in the dining room swoons.
His iPad will blast;
The elite can repast
Tapping YMCA with their spoons.
Police here are sent by elite
To flashbang crowds blocking the street —
But we’ll match their oppression
With strong non-aggression,
As long as it takes — no retreat!
(Written two days after I was water-cannoned at a peaceful demonstration in Israel on March 1, 2023)
NET
I live in a small coastal town
With a beach to which people go down
They go there to fish
Catching which is their wish
When they find the net empty they frown.
CLASS
If they’re lucky the fish is high class
And the surplus to friends they will pass
It’s a generous feat
But to cook it needs heat
Cos eating raw fish is a farce.
POLICE, LONG, PUSHY, ELITE, MATCH
Thr police around us are no match
For criminnals that they never catch
The crooks are so pushy
To hide they just become bushy
And wait for their offspring to hatch.
The lap dancer’s longing to play
For customers eager to pay.
Assertive and pushy,
Her sought-after tushie
Will give them a hard time today.
Attention All Limerick-Off Procrastinators: The current Limerick-Off ends tomorrow, Saturday, at 4 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your limerick stragglers in.
Policing the kitchen, she saw
The chicken – defrosted and raw.
Reaction was strong;
“That’s been out here so long,
It smells like my brother-in-law”.
(Re-arranging my 2:28 pm post above)
With customers longing to pay,
The lap dancer’s eager to play.
Assertive and pushy,
Her sought-after tushie
Will give them a hard time today.
Thanks so much everyone for another fun Limerick-Off, which is officially over. And the winner is…
Limerick-Off Award 506. Congratulations to the winners!
But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Scene.