Archive for the ‘Religion Verse’ Category

Limerick Ode To Holiday Fasters

Friday, October 3rd, 2014

Limerick Ode To Holiday Fasters
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To those who are fasting right now,
It is best not to think about chow.
And I hope that this tip
Doesn’t strike you as flip:
Though it’s stressful, please don’t have a cow.

Pasta Dreams (Limerick)

Monday, April 21st, 2014

Mark (unlike me) follows the Passover dietary rules. And now that the end’s in sight, he’s practically panting in anticipation of pizza and pasta.

Pasta Dreams (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My husband’s excitement is rising.
His mood’s leavened, which isn’t surprising.
Cuz Passover week
Is soon ending its streak;
Bread and pasta-decriminalizing.

Passing Over Some Rules (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 15th, 2014

Passing Over Some Rules (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though I’m Jewish, I’m still eating bread
And refuse to munch matzo instead.
I spurn rules all the time,
Except canons of rhyme
And of meter … so don’t be misled.

Passover Verse

Monday, April 14th, 2014

May your seder be lovely,
A holiday treat.
May it not be too late
Till you finally eat.

Happy Passover to all who celebrate it!

Observant Limerick

Tuesday, September 17th, 2013

My limerick was inspired by this news item:

Group of observant Brooklyn drug dealers told customers they were closed for Shabbat: The five men would text customers with warnings that they were about to stop dealing around sundown Friday, according to a criminal complaint…

“The men are accused of peddling heroin, oxycodone, cocaine and other drugs from their Bedford Ave. drug warehouse…”

Observant Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you plan to sell drugs and break laws,
It seems God will forgive all your flaws,
And you won’t be a goner
So long as you honor
Shabbat with a crime-breaking pause.

Holy Proselytizing (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 7th, 2013

Since I’m a devout agnostic, my response to Writer’s Digest’s latest poetry prompt essentially wrote itself. Here’s the prompt:

For this week’s prompt, take the phrase “Holy (blank),” replace the blank with a word or phrase, make the new phrase the title of your poem, and then, write your poem.

And here’s my limerick:

Holy Proselytizing (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Holy proselytizing’s annoying,
Whatever technique you’re employing.
I have one strong belief:
Way too much of our grief
Has been caused by religion-deploying.

Pigging Out On Weed (Limerick)

Thursday, May 23rd, 2013

People aren’t the only ones in Seattle enjoying weed; BB Ranch butcher William von Schneidau’s “pot pigs” are partaking in cannabis too. According to von Schneidau, adding “weed to the feed,” makes the pig meat more savory.

Pigging Out On Weed (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Feeding weed to your pigs, you’ll agree
Seems a little bit odd, but you see
There’s a butcher who’ll swear
It makes tastier fare.
This doesn’t sound kosher to me.

Passover Haiku

Saturday, April 7th, 2012

Passover practice:
Cut leavening from your bread.
Add it to your life.

Off One’s Game Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, February 5th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was way off his game…*

or

A woman was way off her game…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Off One’s Game (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was way off his game
And was looking for someone to blame.
He concluded that God
Had given the nod
To his nemesis — talk about lame!

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Game Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, August 14th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who always seemed game…

or

A fellow who always seemed game…

Here’s mine:

Game Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who always seemed game
To attempt any venture you’d name
Resisted just one:
French kissing a nun.
Her excuse? “I can’t kiss an old flame.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To End Timers

Friday, May 20th, 2011

Limerick Ode To End Timers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Fanatics are trying to fend
With this concept: the world’s gonna end.
When portentous predictions
Turn out to be fictions,
They re-do their math and amend.

(Prompted by dire religious predictions and this weekend’s end theme)

AWOL Angel

Tuesday, March 1st, 2011

AWOL Angel (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I guess guardian angels are fine.
I don’t know, cuz I’ve never met mine.
If I have one, it’s hiding—
No guarding, no guiding.
What I’m missing, I can not divine.

(Written for the We Write Poems Guardian Angel prompt.)

UPDATE: August 22 is Be An Angel Day, and October 2 is Guardian Angels Day.

What Do Jews Do On Christmas? A Limerick Explanation

Saturday, December 25th, 2010

A reader asks, “What do Jews do on Christmas?” So as a public service, I offer a limerick explanation:

What Do Jews Do On Christmas? A Limerick Explanation
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a query that’s answered with ease:
“What do Jews do on Christmas Day, please?”
We watch movies and read.
Surf the Net. (Dull indeed!)
But mostly we munch on Chinese.

(I’ve dedicated that limerick to Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan. (This post explains why.) And here’s a fun article about Jews and Chinese Food.

While I’m posting holiday humor, I might as well post the rest of the holiday verse I dashed off this week.

I hope you’ll think that these haiku
Ain’t all that bad for this old Jew.

HOLIDAY HAIKU Quartet

Best safety advice
For the holiday season:
Hide under your bed.

*****

Since it’s Christmas Eve
Your shopping better be done,
Or you’ve been naughty.

*****

A generous gift
From our fav gov agency:
Revised 1040.

*****

No gifts for Kwanzaa
Or Christmas or Chanukah.
Husband’s gift enough.

*****

We Jews Need A Christmas Limerick, STAT!

Saturday, December 25th, 2010

When I was growing up, my mother used to joke that “Christmas isn’t such Jewish holiday.”

We Jews do tend to feel left out of things this time of year. After all, Chanukah may be really, really long, but it just doesn’t have that Christmas panache. Ask Jon Stewart, if you don’t believe me.

So I think we Jews need a Christmas limerick, and I’ve written one in my late mom’s honor:

A Jewish Christmas Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re Jewish and feeling left out?
We have holy days too we can tout.
So enjoy and feel chipper.
We’ve still got Yom Kippur.
On second thought, go ahead — pout.

Update: For those who pronounce Yom Kippur the other way, I’ve written an alternative B-rhyme for the 3rd and 4th lines. Here’s the alternate version:

A Jewish Christmas Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re Jewish and feeling left out?
We have holy days too we can tout.
Ain’t you thrilled to your core
By the great Yom Kippur?
On second thought, go ahead — pout.

Homonym Verse (Limerick & Haiku Prompt) (Updated)

Friday, October 24th, 2008

Today I’ve decided to have some homonym fun and I hope you will too.  I’ve written two haiku about meat and a limerick using the word meet.  First, my limerick:  

Whenever I meet someone new,
I use memory tricks till I’m blue.
But it’s always the same —
I forget ev’ry name
Right away — hope they blank mine out too.

And now my two meat haiku (senryu):

Jews who keep kosher
Have anti-pig-meat bias:
“Don’t reform!” say pigs.

I can’t understand
Those who oppose beef-eating,
Except, perhaps, cows.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse using the homonyms meet and meat, or some other pair of homonyms if you prefer. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.

Update: I added a second haiku, after commenter Stan Ski correctly pointed out that my cow haiku was about meat, but didn’t include the word meat.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants 

1. Elephant Small
2. Random short stories
3. The Mane Point
4. Nickers and Ink
5. kouji (haiku poem blog)

UPDATE 2: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your homonym verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.