Archive for the ‘Aging Humor & Verse’ Category

An Age-Old Story (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 26th, 2022

Although her great-uncle was old,
He still loved to play sports; he was bold
And he gave it his all
When he lunged for a ball.
He’d but ONE worry: Catching a cold!

An Age Old Protest (Limerick)

Saturday, March 12th, 2022

I’ve been told to “Spring forward!” Can’t do!
With my knees? Are you kidding? I’m through:
No more jumping and running
And springing! I’m shunning
Such acts. You mean “clock movement?” Whew!

“Bucket Lists” Leave Me Listless (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 11th, 2022

There are folks who develop a bucket list;
Pre-death dreams, goals, and treks to Nantucket list.
But to heck with that checklist!
I don’t need a trek-list!
I DO have a chuck-it and fuck-it list.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Cruise or Crews or Cruse at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: November 27, 2021)

Sunday, November 14th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Cruise or Crews or Cruse at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to Retirement, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Retirement-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on November 28, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 27, 2021, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my CRUISE or CREWS or CRUSE-rhyme limerick:

My muse often gives me the blues.
When I ask her for help, she’ll refuse.
She’ll mock me and roast me
And frequently ghost me.
She’s AWOL right now — on a cruise.

And here’s my RETIREMENT-themed limerick:

“It is best to acknowledge the truth
And retire; you’re way past your youth,”
Said a gal to her spouse,
Who’s a dentist. “Don’t grouse!
Just face facts: You are long in the tooth.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Aging Quatrain

Tuesday, October 12th, 2021

There are days I feel old as the hills
And I long for those youth-making fountains.
But this contrary thought gives me thrills:
It’s better than old as the mountains.

Birthday Limerick For Hubby Mark

Friday, July 9th, 2021

Here’s a birthday limerick for my husband Mark, in response to his joking (I hope) query: “Mad, it’s my Birthday, and I’m feeling a bit down, so would it be OK if I visited our local ecdysiast?”

Happy birthday to Mark! You’re the best!
Though you’re old, you still live life with zest.
I am joking, of course;
If you’re old, I perforce
Am antique. (So no dancers undressed!)

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RAISE or RAYS or RAZE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 1, 2020)

Sunday, January 19th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RAISE or RAYS or RAZE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DANCE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DANCE-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on February 2, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 1, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my RAISE/RAYS/RAZE-rhyme limerick:

When requesting a bonus or raise,
It is best to prepare for some nays;
Often praise will precede
A loud “NO!” Alas greed
Within management ain’t just a phase.

And here’s my DANCE-themed limerick:

A gal was attempting the twist —
A dance from her youth she still missed.
But this hard kind of rock
Left her hips in a lock.
She was wistful, as Doc said: “Resist!”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

A Good Holiday To Skip (Limerick)

Sunday, April 22nd, 2018

It’s “Send Your Man Nudes Day.” Oy Vey!
Will I celebrate THAT one? No way!
I’m too old for that stuff,
So no pics in the buff!
I’ll forgo risking cyber-display.

Send Your Man Nudes Day falls on April 22 each year.

Is Age Just A Number? (Limerick)

Thursday, March 22nd, 2018

Is age just a number? Who knows?
Some say “yes.” Others suff’ring the woes
Of senescence will wage
A war against age,
To disguise the “gifts” aging bestows.

Happy Age Is Just A Number Day! (March 22)

What Have They Done To My Treats? (2-Verse Limerick)

Sunday, November 1st, 2015

Halloween week I sampled some candy,
But stuff that I used to find dandy
Made me cringe with distaste.
Has aging laid waste
To my taste buds? I’d rather drink brandy.

Have the folks who make chocolate treats
Altered recipes, cheapened these sweets
Till they taste like debris?
Is it them? Is it me?
Either way, here come healthier eats.

Limerick Ode To “Female Viagra”

Friday, June 5th, 2015

Limerick Ode To “Female Viagra”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a “female Viagra?” Oh my!
I’ve boned up on its risks, so no-buy.
Should I need to feel horny,
The problem ain’t thorny.
No not porn! Just a flash of Mark’s thigh.

An Old Story (Limerick)

Tuesday, September 9th, 2014

An Old Story (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you’d like to feel old, here’s a way–
Besides all those aches and that gray–
Arrive home, and then hear
From your husband, “My dear,
Your Medicare card came today.”

Sunny Limerick

Tuesday, May 27th, 2014

Sunny Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I confess that I’m really not one
To use sunscreen, but please don’t make fun.
My skin’s still protected;
The scheme I’ve selected
Is hide and stay out of the sun.

Happy Sun Screen Day! (May 27)

UPDATE: “Don’t Fry Day” falls on the Friday before Memorial Day.

This Trend Sounds Fishy (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 11th, 2013

Yikes! Scrotum Rejuvenation??? Yes, this Hollywood male grooming trend sounds fictitious, but apparently isn’t.

This Trend Sounds Fishy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A new wrinkle in grooming appalls,
And it’s pricey — not offered in malls.
It stems out of a joke
From that George Clooney bloke:
“Tackle-tightening” — ironing your balls.

Note to Judd Apatow: I’d better not see any Tackle-Tightening in the 50 Year Old Virgin.

Note to George Clooney: Tell the truth: Were you REALLY just joking, when you said you got your balls “unwrinkled”?

Time Flies (Limerick)

Saturday, October 20th, 2012

Dverse Poets asks us to write a poem about the passage of time. Here’s mine.

Time Flies (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Time flies” is a popular phrase.
So it does, and in frightening ways.
Where’s it go? I don’t know.
And there’s no way to slow
It all down. Simply relish the days.

Sun-Tanned Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, May 6th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal with a very deep tan…*

or

A guy with a very deep tan…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Sun-Tanned Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal with a very deep tan
Was hoping to pick up a man.
But the guys got one look,
And that’s all that it took:
Wrinkled skin made her look like their gran.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

UPDATE: July 3rd is Stay Out Of The Sun Day.

Taking Stock Of Acrostic Limericks

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

As I mention from time to time, I love the mental challenge of writing acrostic limericks. So on the first of each month, I eagerly visit Acrostic Only for its latest batch of prompts.

Taking Stock Of Acrostic Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Seems investments are dropping like flies,
Trouncing prices and deals that looked wise.
On Wall Street our shares
Crash and fall down the stairs —
Killed retirement plans on the rise.

Face Time (Haiku)

Thursday, April 7th, 2011

Flutist misses cue.
Conductor settles the score.
Time to face music.

*****

Botoxified face,
once intelligent with age,
now frozen wasteland.

*****

(Face prompt from Theme Thursday)

Limerick Ode To a Vigorous Old Lady

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

Limerick Ode To A Vigorous Old Lady
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An old grandma with spring in her walk
Moved so quickly that people would gawk.
When asked if a gym
Was the source of her vim
She said, “No — Jim, Kim, Henry and Hawk.”

(Posted at this spring prompt and at Poetic Asides’ spring prompt.)

UPDATE: July 23 is Gorgeous Grandma Day.

Aging Musically (Haiku)

Saturday, March 12th, 2011

Nursing nostalgia,
the tribute bands play covers —
relive what wasn’t.

*****

The injured cellist,
forced to bow out of concerts,
retires her bow.

*****

The big bands play swing —
old couples dance joyously,
then reclaim their canes.

*****

Three childhood friendships —
treasured, instrumental —
piano, oboe, flute.

*****

(The first haiku was inspired by Writer’s Island’s tribute theme. The fourth haiku was inspired by Monday Memories’ friendship theme.)