Posts Tagged ‘Communication Humor’

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CAB at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Sunday, October 16th, 2016

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CAB at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to FRUIT, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best FRUIT-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on Oct 30, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 29, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A garrulous gadfly would gab,
Driving ev’ryone nuts as he’d blab.
People longed to be spared
The critiques that he aired,
En route to their flights in his cab.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

“Be Heard Day” (Limerick)

Monday, March 7th, 2016

Please don’t be deterred: It’s “Be Heard Day.”
(Some call it a “dumb and absurd day.”)
Being heard’s a great goal.
Staying mum takes its toll.
Don’t convert it to “message deferred” day.

Tone-Deaf Limerick

Tuesday, August 4th, 2015

Tone-Deaf Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who used vocal inflection
To convey his disdain and rejection,
Would deflect ev’ry claim
That he aimed to inflame:
“I’m blameless. My word choice? Perfection!”

In Praise of the Grumble (Limerick)

Thursday, January 22nd, 2015

In Praise of the Grumble (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I pity the person who curbs me
From grumbling when something perturbs me.
I find grumbling essential
For humor potential;
How else would I know what disturbs me?

(Inspired by Joshua Rothman’s A Few Notes On Grumbling in The New Yorker.)

Limerick Ode To “Babbling Day” (October 21)

Tuesday, October 21st, 2014

Today’s the one day it’s okay to be a blatherskite. Why? Because it’s Babbling Day. Just don’t make a habit of it … like the fellow in my limerick:

Limerick Ode To “Babbling Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who tended to rap
About nonsense was taking a nap.
“I’m so glad he’s asleep,”
Said his wife, “cuz I weep
And I yawn when he babbles that pap.”

Wexting? How Pedestrian! (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 14th, 2014

Wexting? How Pedestrian! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A habit that many find vexing
Is called “wexting.” I think it’s perplexing
To text while you walk.
If you wext, then I’ll balk
At sharing a path you’re annexing.

Me, Myself, & I (Limerick)

Thursday, September 25th, 2014

Do you cringe when people incorrectly use the reflexive pronoun “myself” instead of “me?”

Myself too! (And yes, I was joking.)

Misuse of “myself” is widespread.
It’s an error that people should shed.
To reflexively use it
And often abuse it
May stop you from getting ahead.

Sex Post Facto (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 19th, 2014

Sex Post Facto (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What’s the worst you can say after sex?
That question continues to vex.
But you’ll soon be a loner
With this little boner:
“You’re not even as good as my ex.”

UPDATE: June 9 is National Sex Day.

This Invention Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test (Limerick)

Saturday, June 14th, 2014

This Invention Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m vexed and a little perplexed
By the concept of smells sent by text.
I do not mean to vent,
But don’t send me a scent,
Or our friendship is apt to be exed.

(Harvard engineering professor David Edwards and co-inventor Rachel Fields have invented an aromatic mobile messaging device called an oPhone that sends and receives scents.)

Say “NO!” To “Yes, Dear”

Wednesday, April 30th, 2014

Say “NO!” To “Yes, Dear”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s something most husbands should fear:
Wives’ reactions on hearing, “Yes, dear.”
It’s a phrase to avoid
Cuz we’re not just annoyed,
But enraged. Guys could lose precious “gear.”

Life With Mark Kane

Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

(All dialogue guaranteed true)

Mark: “Now that I’ve won, I can go to sleep.” (gazing down, admiringly, at his laptop’s “free cell” screen at 10 pm)

Me: “Remember that Walter Kirn book I mentioned the other day?”

Mark: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” (still looking down)

Me: “The one about the impostor…”

Mark: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” (still looking down)

Me: “I just started reading it.”

Mark: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” (still looking down)

Me: “You’re not listening to me.”

Mark: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” (still looking down)

Me: “I said you’re not listening to me!”

Mark: “Huh??? Yes, I am.”

Me: “What am I talking about?”

Mark: “Uh…”

Me: “Remember? The Kirn book? I was telling you about it the other day.”

Mark: “Oh yeah.” (surreptitiously typing.)

Me: “You’re looking up “Kirn” in Google aren’t you?”

Mark: “Of course not! I remember you talking about Bruce Kern.”

Me: “I’ve never even heard of Bruce Kern. Stop trying to cheat with Google.”

Mark: “I’m not trying to cheat.”

Me: “Yes you are. I’m talking about WALTER Kirn’s book about the Rockefeller impostor.”

Mark: “Oh, yeah. Jay Rockefeller and the Hamptons.”

Me: “No! “CLARK Rockefeller. Driving a crippled dog from Montana to Manhattan.”

Mark: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Me: “I give up!”

Limerick Ode To The ZIP Code

Monday, July 1st, 2013

Happy birthday to the ZIP Code, born fifty years ago, on July 1, 1963.

Limerick Ode To The ZIP Code
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Today is the birthday of ZIP Codes–
Those digital sort and then ship codes
That help us get mail,
Which they’re now calling “snail.”
With email, these aren’t such hip codes.

A Polite Limerick

Wednesday, July 11th, 2012

The latest prompt from Three Words Wednesday asks us to use these three words in any sort of poem: Differ, Halt, and Imagine. And somehow I coaxed them all into a limerick:

A Polite Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When planning a verbal assault,
It can sometimes be useful to halt
And imagine your view
With a more polite skew:
Beg to differ‘s a handy default.

Shooting The Breeze With Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, June 3rd, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman was shooting the breeze…*

or

A fellow was shooting the breeze…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Shooting The Breeze
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was shooting the breeze
With a man who was down on his knees.
He’d planned to propose
But got bored, so he rose
And explained he’d been looking for keys.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

In-Box Overload (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 4th, 2012

In-Box Overload (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My in-box is filled to the brim.
The sight of it’s making me grim.
And my virtual box
Is likewise a pox.
Mail has stamped out my zip and my vim.

(Prompted By One Single Impression’s “Inbox.”)

Related Post: Email Hell

Limerick Phase (Limerick-Off Monday)

Monday, November 14th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s
last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who went through a phase…

or

A woman who went through a phase…

Here’s mine:

Limerick Phase
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who went through a phase
Of using a ton of clichés
Would talk up a storm
And refused to reform,
As he babbled each over-used phrase.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Befuddled Limerick

Monday, April 11th, 2011

A fellow was feeling befuddled
Cuz he yearned for one thing — to be cuddled.
But he only got quickies
Or sometimes mere hickeys.
It appears that his message was muddled.

(Prompted by Befuddled)

Insincere Limerick

Friday, March 18th, 2011

Insincere Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“I love when you buy me cute ties.”
“That petite fits you fine — it’s your size.”
“Your acting is great.”
“Your cooking’s first rate.”
Ah, the charm of those little white lies.

(Inspired by Jingle Poetry’s deception and misrepresentation prompt.)

UPDATE: I just found out that April 30 is National Honesty Day. It’s celebrated by politicians … just about nowhere.

Dearest Condescending Darling (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 2nd, 2011

This limerick was inspired by some patronizing, condescending comments made on a Facebook Friend’s wall:

Dearest Condescending Darling
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear sweetheart, the “darling” address
Condescends and is irksome unless
It’s said by a spouse
Or a lover, dear louse.
For most others, it means to aggress.

(Posted at I Saw Sunday.)

A Poke In The Facebook

Monday, February 21st, 2011

Somebody please explain to me why Facebook invented and retains the stupid Poke feature. In the meantime, here’s my A Poke In The Facebook limerick.

A Poke In The Facebook
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Facebook friends, please do not poke.
I don’t care if you’re female or bloke.
If you’ve something to say,
Use the commenting way.
Or message me. Pokes are a joke.