MAD KANE’S HUMOR BLOG

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is email and/or spam. First, my limerick:

I’m out of the office right now.
Do I hate answ’ring email? And how!
Missed your missive? I’m glad,
So I won’t say I’m sad.
Pester some other worker-bee. Ciao!

And now my three spam-related haiku:

Suffocating spam
Pours into my computer,
Drowning out meaning.

Virulent spammers
Take over my computer,
Devouring its core.

My email pours in,
The meaningful lost,
Strangled by spam.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about email and/or spam. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

UPDATE: The Mr. Linky site (which generates the Mr. Linky links) seems to be having technical problems. So if you’d like to add a link to your email or spam-themed verse, please put in the Comments for now.  When Mr. Linky starts working again, I’ll place your links into Mr. Linky myself.

Technorati Tags: Email Limerick, Spam Verse, Email Hell Humor, Writing Prompts, Career Humor

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is dogs. First, my limerick:

Dear Puppy
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear puppy, how long will it be
Till you learn where it’s kosher to pee?
They said you were bright,
But there’s no end in sight
To your accidents. Please try a tree.

And now my dogs haiku:

She comes between us,
Foiling our would-be embrace.
Dogged chaperone.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about dogs. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your dog-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Dog Verse, Puppy Poetry, Puppy Love, Writing Prompts, Pet Poems

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is temper. First, my limerick:

Ode to An Ill-Tempered Felon
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A felonious fellow named Mort
Went to jail cuz his temper was short.
He assaulted a mime,
Committing his crime
(And his tort) with a bottle of Port.

And now my temper haiku:

Losing his temper,
He screamed, cursed, and hurled books.
I guess he found it.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about temper. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

(Note: You may have noticed that my limerick contains some legal jargon. For more on poems containing specialized jargon, check out Read Write Poem.)

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your temper-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Bad Temper Humor, Legal Jargon Verse, Writing Prompts, Felon Humor, Assault Poetry, Tort Humor, Legalise Limerick

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is health. First, my limerick:

Maladjusted Men
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Maladjusted men sometimes say, “Doc, 
Chiropractic is naught but a crock. 
Your adjustments don’t work, 
You’re a sick, spineless jerk, 
And I’ll sue till you’re broke and in hock!”

And now my handy haiku:

My musical hands,
Stricken by carpal tunnel,
Betrayed by my wrists.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about health. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your health-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Chiropractic Humor, Health Limerick, Adjustments, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, Writing Prompts

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is relatives. (Thanks to Read Write Poem’s aunt prompt, which inspired this broader theme including any family member.) First, my limerick:

Crazy Aunts
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Crazy aunt in your fam’ly? Let’s see:
Does she scoff at conventions with glee?
Fail to act quite her age?
Give advice strangely sage?
In my fam’ly, the crazy aunt’s me.

And now my haiku:

He made an offer
That I just could not refuse:
Marital bliss.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about a relative. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have two whole weeks!  Why? Because I still haven’t started my tax return.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your family-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Family Limerick, Relatives Haiku, Writing Prompts, Family Verse, Aunt Poetry, Funny Relatives

Here in the U.S., tax return day (April 15th) is looming. So today’s limerick and haiku theme is taxes and tax returns or, if you prefer, forms that drive you nuts. First, my limerick:

Taxing Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My records are scattered.  Oh dear!
And tax filing day’s almost here.
My receipts are all over –
Some eaten by Rover.
I’m destined for prison, I fear.

And now my haiku:

Whether you owe cash
Or are due a tax refund
Filing is taxing.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about taxes and tax returns and/or forms that drive you nuts. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

1. paisley
2. Noah the Great
3 Tumblewords
4. XBox Wife
5. Robert

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your tax-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Tax Return Humor, IRS Poem, Writing Prompts, U.S. Taxes, April 15th Humor, Tax Refunds, Money Limerick, Annoying Forms

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is poems about poems or, if you prefer, poems about writing. First, my limerick about writing haiku:

Ode To The Haiku
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s seventeen-syllable verse —
Maybe less — yes it has to be terse.
What a challenge to do —
This form called haiku,
Whose brevity’s blessing and curse.

And here’s a pair of haiku about poetry, the first about writing limericks, the second about poetry writing in general:

Anapestic twists,
AABBA rhyme scheme.
Add wit and you’re home.

Ideas, thoughts, fragments
Of inspiration surge forth.
Poetry is born.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about poetry and/or writing in general. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your poetry-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Limerick About Haiku, Poetry Poems,  Haiku About Limericks, Writing Prompts

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is yards and/or gardens. First, my limerick: 

I admit that I’m bad with a rake,
And disposing of leaves makes me quake.
So that pile—I ignored it,
But then was rewarded
With saplings—benign neglect’s wake.

And here’s my haiku: 

Milk, juice, chicken breasts
Plunged into backyard snow drifts:
My fridge on the fritz.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about yards and/or gardens. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

NOTE: This post was inspired in part by Read Write Poem’s tree prompt and Sunday Scribblings’ rooted prompt.

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your yard and/or garden-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Gardening Humor, Trees and Plantings, Benign Neglect, Kitchen Verse, Refrigerator Poetry, Fridge Poems, Backyard Snow

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is age and/or life stages. First, my limerick:

“Let’s begin at the top of the page,”
Said the coach to the gals on the stage.
“You’re supposed to be teens.
You should know what that means.
So I’m begging you—please—act your age.”

And here’s my haiku:

Cranky digestion
Recalcitrant intestines
Aging wastefully.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about age and/or life stages. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your age-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Age Humor, Digestion Humor, Teens, Acting Limerick, Theater Humor, Theatre Verse, Writing Prompts,

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is walking. First, my limerick:

Ode To A New York City Walk Signal
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oh WALK light, you change way too fast.
Your pedestrian green doesn’t last.
You force me to run
Cross the street, which ain’t fun.
So thanks for this cumbersome cast.

And now, my walking-related haiku:

Solitary stroll
To escape the telephone.
Cell phone outsmarts me.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about walking. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

NOTE: My Ode To A New York City Walk Signal limerick is an apostrophe.  And no, I’m not referring to a punctuation mark.  Miss Rumphius tells us that an “apostrophe is a poem which directly addresses a person or thing that is generally absent.” So I thought I’d address one to a walk signal that’s tormented my husband and me for years.

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your walking-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Walking Humor, Pedestrians, Traffic Lights, Poetry Prompts, Cell Phones, Solitude, Traffic Signals, Poetry Forms, Apostrophe

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is time. First, my limerick:

No Time To Say Hello, Goodbye…
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m late and I can’t miss this train!
It’s arrived, and I’m here, yet in vain:
I must climb down these stairs,
But some guys, broad as bears,
Have me blocked—all my plans down the drain.

And now it’s time for my time-related haiku:

Time passes too fast.
I’d surely bitch about it,
If I just had time.

And now it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about time. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your time-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Poetry Prompts, Time Pressures, Train Travel, Commuting Humor

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is bad jobs. Why? Because everyone I know has had at least one really awful job. As for me, I’ve had more bad jobs than I’d care to remember. So here’s a pair of poems about two of them.  First, my limerick about substitute teaching:

In my twenties I substitute taught.
‘Tis a challenging job and it’s fraught;
All those calls before dawn
To instruct devil’s spawn
Made me anxious, uptight—overwrought.

And now, my haiku about working in a discount department store:

Discount lingerie:
Folded, painstakingly shelved.
Soon to be litter.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about bad jobs. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your bad jobs-themed verse in the Comments.

Technorati Tags: Bad Jobs, Employment Humor, Job Limerick, Substitute Teaching, Department Store, Discount Lingerie, Shoppers, School Humor, Education Limerick

Before I get to today’s limerick and haiku theme, I want to thank you for the many kind comments and emails concerning my father’s death.  I was very touched by your thoughtfulness. 

My latest limerick and haiku prompt topic is absent-mindedness and memory. First, my limerick:

“Please help me! I really need aid,”
Said a lady who looked quite afraid.
“Seems I can’t find my purse,
And, perhaps, even worse
It appears that my maid’s been mislaid.”

And now, my haiku:

Memorized data—
Still there, but hard to access.
Mulltiple choice brain.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about absent-mindedness and/or memory. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. (Due to my late posting, this prompt will be open through February 14th.)

If you want to keep up to date with my poetry prompts, you can subscribe to either my entire blog feed or just to my limerick and haiku prompt topic feed.

Technorati Tags: Absent-mindedness Humor,  Memory, Losing Things Limerick, Behavior Humor, Personality Humor, Brain

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is decisions and indecision.  First, my limerick:

If there’s one thing I cannot abide,
It is people who cannot decide
What to eat, where to go,
Hot or cold, fast or slow.
Do you think I should take it in stride?

And now, my haiku:

Postponing decisions
Eliminates your options:
Fate accompli.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about decisions or indecision. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

NOTE: Thanks to the few of you who have been joining in on the limerick and haiku prompt fun. But I’m beginning to wonder if it makes sense to continue these prompts, with so few people participating.

I’m not sure what the problem is. Lack of publicity? The themes? The difficulty in writing limericks? If anyone has any suggestions as to how to widen the appeal of these prompts, I’d appreciate your posting them in the comments section. Thanks!

UPDATE: Although I usually post prompts every Friday, my current prompt will remain open until February 1st because I’ll be traveling.

If you want to keep up to date with my poetry prompts, you can subscribe to either my entire blog feed or just to my limerick and haiku prompt topic feed.

Technorati Tags: Decision Humor, Indecisiveness Limerick, Personality Satire, Behavior Haiku

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is money. First, my limerick:

I once balanced my checkbook with ease.
But, alas, it’s no longer a breeze.
Where is each canceled check?
Banking statements are dreck.
Are they trying to hide all those fees?

And now my haiku:

“People want change,”
Claim presidential candidates.
I’d prefer twenties.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about money. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

Technorati Tags: Money Verse, Banking Statements, Checkbook Humor, Financial Poetry, Banking Limerick

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is lies and deception. First, my limerick: 

“Your excuse simply can’t be believed.
You’re a liar! I feel quite deceived,”
Said the gal, as she wept,
To her lover, who’d slept
With her mother. (I guess she was peeved.)

And now, my haiku:

People who maintain
That they are always honest
Are surely lying.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about lies and deception. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

Technorati Tags: Lies, Deception, Betrayal, Relationship Haiku, Lover’s Quarrel

Sorry for the late post!  My father’s very ill, and I’ve been traveling between New York and North Carolina. 

Today’s limerick and haiku themes are wine and spirits or the New Year or, if you prefer, both. Here’s my wine and spirits limerick: 

The bartender offered cheap brandy.
“No fine cognac?” I whined—wasn’t handy.
So I had to decline,
Mulled and ordered dry wine—
Told the barkeep, “Your cab tastes like candy!”

Here’s a wine snob haiku, the first of today’s two haiku:

Decant, sniff, sip, spit—
Wine connoisseur’s ritual.
I’d rather just drink.

And here’s a haiku that combines both themes:

Champagne bubbles dance.
Spirited revelers toast.
A new year’s welcomed.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about today’s theme(s). When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here. And you can find my New Year’s Resolutions humor here.)

Technorati Tags: new years, cognac, brandy, wine snob humor, wine and spirits, champagne

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is love at first sight or, if you prefer, simply love. Here’s my love at first sight limerick: 

Amoré Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane

‘Twas amoré (yes, love) at first sight
When I met my dear husband that night.
We’ve been wed thirty years—
So much laughter, some tears.
Mark, my husband, remains Mr. Right. 

And here’s my haiku on the same theme:

I laughed at the thought
Of love at first sight, but our
Love had the last laugh.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about love at first sight or some other love-related topic. When you’ve posted your poem, please return here and add a direct link to your love verse, using Mr. Linky.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

Technorati Tags: Limerick and Haiku Prompts, Love Poetry,  Romance Limerick,  Marriage Verse, Love At First Sight, Poetry Prompts, Romance Poem, Amoré

Welcome to my 2nd Poetry Prompt. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) on this week’s theme, which is Multitasking. When you’ve posted your poem, please return here and add a direct link to your multitasking-related verse, using Mr. Linky.

Here’s my multitasking limerick, which was inspired by this news story: Runny Pasta Sauce Nabs Hit And Run Driver.

Just Desserts
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s risky to drive while you eat,
Most especially pasta with meat:
Slurping red sauce is rash—
You might very well crash
And leave evidence trails head to feet.

And here’s my multitasking themed haiku:

Lectured to not do
Two things at once, he obeyed
And always did three.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

Technorati Tags: Limerick and Haiku Prompts, Multitasking Humor, Automobile Humor, Food Verse, Car Limerick, Poetry Prompts, Driving Poetry

I’ve been having so much fun drawing inspiration from poetry prompts, that I thought I’d launch my own.  And since I’m seriously (and unseriously) into limericks and haiku, I’m focusing on those two forms.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) on this week’s theme: Annoying Advice.  When your poem’s taken root, please return to this post and add a direct link to your themed poem using Mr. Linky.  

Here’s my Annoying Advice limerick:

Chin Up
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Keep your chin up, and things will be fine.
Just act brave. Do not bitch, flinch, or whine.
You have the right stuff.
You just have to hang tough.”
Does anyone fall for that line? 

And here’s my Annoying Advice haiku:

When somebody says
“You sure you want to do that?”
Doubt perversely fades.

Technorati Tags: Limerick and Haiku Prompts, Poetry Prompts, Annoying Advice