Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FIND or FINED or DEFINED or REFINED or CONFINED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: October 14, 2023)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FIND or FINED or DEFINED or REFINED or CONFINED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to FEET, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best FOOT-related limerick.

And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.

Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:

(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on October 15, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 14, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my FIND or FINED or DEFINED or REFINED or CONFINED-Rhyme Limerick:

Please don’t whine about being entwined
In indictments. You’ve caused your own bind.
In your quest for more wins,
You seem blind to your sins,
But you’ll soon be in prison confined.

And here’s my FOOT/FEET-Themed Limerick:

A bad snowstorm — we can’t use our wheels.
And my boots are a wreck, so the deal’s
That I’ll just have to wait
For the storm to abate.
Until then, I’ll be cooling my heels.

And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:

While I stood on a rather long line,
I felt shaky and faint — too much wine!
Plus the sun-glare was strong,
And I DID smoke that bong.
(I was otherwise perfectly fine.)

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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115 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FIND or FINED or DEFINED or REFINED or CONFINED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: October 14, 2023)”

  1. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Aged Canary: “Confinement Wrath”

    My canary is up there in age,
    Thus, he suffers from “Sing Songy Rage”
    It’s because he’s confined
    So with that fact in mind
    I bought him a slight bigger cage.

  2. Tony Holmes says:

    When poor Donald is martyred they’ll faint,
    Then recover and make him a saint.
    Never mind he’s corrupt –
    No! Please don’t interrupt –
    They will whitewash before they repaint.

  3. Tony Holmes says:

    All life’s pleasures are best when refined –
    Haute cuisine and fine wines come to mind:
    But I think, for one’s good,
    On occasion, one should,
    Take some rough with the smooth, to unwind.

  4. Tony Holmes says:

    The chiropodist took in my feet,
    His face blanched and he fell of his seat.
    No, it wasn’t the smell
    Caused this brief fainting spell,
    But the fact he’d admitted defeat.

  5. Lisi Nortman says:

    You shall now read the serious chat
    I had with my son, (messy) Pat:
    “Before you walk in
    From wherever you’ve been,
    Wipe your feet on the neighbor’s door mat”

  6. Tony Holmes says:

    We, the voting for Trump undersigned,
    Wish to say even if he’s confined,
    We’re still stupid enough
    To call ev’ryone’s bluff.
    He can rule from his cell – we don’t mind.

  7. Sally Franz says:

    If I have to see his orange face one more time
    I am sure I’ll self-implode spewing slime
    Makes Jaba the Hut’s body
    Look like a hottie
    Dear lord, what will it take to see him confined?

  8. Bob Turvey says:

    A foot-fetishists’ forum on porn,
    Asked members what gave them the horn.
    “Fallen arches,” one said,
    “And toes that are red.”
    But most liked to fondle a corn.

  9. Bob Turvey says:

    I said to the wife down in Poona,
    “I was wondering; do you fancy a nooner?”
    She said, “How refined.”
    And then she declined,
    “It’s late dear. You should have asked sooner.”

  10. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    My old cat has control of his mind,
    And if he’s in the bathroom, confined,
    He’ll summon his chi,
    To shred the TP,
    Always doing his best to unwind.

  11. Lisi Nortman says:

    A Man In Distress

    “My comb over’s coming apart!
    Now I’m practically bald; where’s the part?
    I feel so uncontrolled,
    Cuz gettin’ real old
    Sure ain’t for the weak faint of heart.”

  12. Lisi Nortman says:

    Hubby no longer has wavy hair.
    He’s thrown out his comb in despair.
    Now I can’t read in bed
    On account of his head,
    Which sends forth a bald blinding glare.

  13. Terry Marter says:

    Writing his “Hairdressing” tome,
    Was the cause of his smooth, even dome.
    With its bright, shiny glare,
    Where there used to be hair,
    He no longer has need of a comb.

  14. Lisi Nortman says:


    Here’s a limerick now underway.
    It’s not bad; it’s not great; just “okay”
    Really! Who is so clever
    In this complex endeavor?
    Even MAD’leine! has one toe of clay!


  15. Lisi Nortman says:

    Correction of Rhyming Error: Limerick Eleven

    “My comb over’s coming apart!
    Guess I don’t have that hairstyling art!
    I feel so uncontrolled,
    Cuz gettin’ real old
    Sure ain’t for the weak faint of heart.”

  16. Lisi Nortman says:

    “The job is all yours”, said Ms. Rind
    “You seem very smart and you’re kind.
    I can tell you’re ambitious
    And I am suspicious
    When a good man is easy to find.”

  17. Lisi Nortman says:

    Your intended must be very kind.
    And lustful, so keep that in mind.
    When you find this rare man,
    Grab him fast as you can
    Cuz a good man that’s hard is a “find”

  18. If Forty-Five ever was fined
    for ev’ry time he lost his mind,
    his offenses could net
    the national debt
    and maybe the law wouldn’t mind.

  19. Gail White says:

    Says Meghan, “I’m ultra- refined
    so I do hope the staff will not mind
    throwing out the dead tulips
    and mixing mint juleps
    while I lie on this sofa reclined.”

  20. Rudy Landesman says:

    By you I’ve been often maligned.
    To respond I am much too refined.
    And I think you do know,
    That I won’t sink so low
    As to tell you to kiss my behind.

  21. Rudy Landesman says:

    Someone did put her foot in her mouth.
    Mint juleps they drank way down south.
    Not in sunny CA,
    Nor needless to say
    In Routh* nor in old County Louth.**

    *A village in England
    ** A county in (where else?) Ireland

  22. Janice Canerdy says:

    The New and Improved Susie

    Susie’s skirts now conceal her behind
    (most of it), and she’s not so inclined
    to get drunk and start fights
    at the bars. She delights
    in declaring, “Look, y’all. I’m refined!

    From the Frying Pan to the Fire

    On the job, Bob was feeling confined~~
    forty years with the same daily grind.
    He retired. Home, he went,
    where his time is all spent
    with his wife. Now he’s losing his mind.

    Pray He Doesn’t Ask You to Dance

    Everyone knows Todd has two left feet.
    I’ve been told that no dance is complete
    till he trips at least four
    and ends up on the floor.
    He’s the klutziest guy you will meet.

    A Rude Awakening

    In his arms by a picturesque stream,
    in a swoon, I breathed, Life is a dream.
    Then the sun’s blinding glare
    woke me. No hunk was there~~
    only me, wet with sweat in the steam.

  23. Lisi Nortman says:

    “My Girlfriend Stacy”

    My girlfriend is very refined.
    In as much as she’s always inclined
    To project poise and grace.
    And at all times my “Stace”
    Uses doilies to wipe her behind.

  24. Mark Totterdell says:

    My feet are not neat or refined,
    They have toes of some animal kind,
    And the skin on each sole
    Has the odd crack or hole
    Like a cheese with a mouldy old rind.

  25. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Stock Market”

    My daddy succinctly defined
    A broker as “someone inclined
    To invest all your dough.
    Son, my guy is a pro
    Cuz the very last penny is mine.”

  26. Lisi Nortman says:

    Saw a man who was walking in soot.
    He really looked very kaput.
    The man’s name was Greg.
    He had one wooden leg.
    And that leg was attached to his foot.

  27. Bob Turvey says:

    There’s a tale told in old Montreal,
    Which goes, as I’m sure you recall,
    That ALL feet are male –
    Because, without fail,
    Every foot that exists has a ball.

  28. Lisi Nortman says:

    Frustrated Arlene: Too Much Glare On Computer Screen

    “We should buy a glare filter, Arlene.
    They’re cheap and real easy to clean.
    But you still will feel faint.
    And you must use restraint,
    So stop banging your head on the screen.”

  29. Lisi Nortman says:

    Today, I did not comb my hair,
    Brush my teeth, wash my face, (didn’t care.)
    I tried sneaking away
    But my vibes were in play
    And I sensed that “Real Mad Mommy Glare.”

  30. Terry Marter says:

    Her new drummer was such a great find.
    His rhythm in bed, blew her mind:
    To his hot paradiddle,
    She’d lie there and fiddle,
    Singing lim’ricks, all perfectly timed.

  31. Terry Marter says:

    The drummer looked so cool and neat
    With his double kick-drums and gold seat.
    He would snare all the chicks
    With his twirling sticks tricks,
    A sex-cymbal, and two handy feet.

  32. Bob Turvey says:

    Do limericks have feet? Yes they do.
    Such a statement contains nothing new.
    Such feet do not smell
    Or run off, pell-mell,
    They just make the whole verse ring true.

  33. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    When one peddler could not make a score,
    He limped home feeling tired and sore.
    “No one,” he told his spouse,
    “let me into their house.
    But I did my foot in the door.”

  34. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    oops. sorry for the typo. Gotta peddle this one twice.

    When one peddler could not make a score,
    He limped home feeling tired and sore.
    “No one,” he told his spouse,
    “let me into their house.
    But I did get my foot in the door.”

  35. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Easiest “Guess Who” Ever

    When he stepped off a plane the wind blew.
    He sure needed a comb to run through
    His orangy hair
    Which needed repair.
    He was also corrupt. Any clue?

  36. Lisi Nortman says:

    Terror At “Serene Living” Senior Citizen Home: Police Report: Thursday Night
    10 PM September 21st.

    “She fainted and fell off her chair,
    Then muttered, “This Bingo ain’t fair.
    I DID have B2
    And I know this is true:
    At my seat someone planted a glare.”

  37. Jean E McEwen says:

    Dick insists that his prick’s one foot long—
    But Charlisse, who has measured his shlong,
    Says that when it is lax
    It is three inches – max,
    And its girth shrinks to naught near the prong.

  38. Jean E McEwen says:

    A tycoon who extorts might get fined,
    But a regular dumbfuck? Confined
    To five decades in jail.
    Should he fail to make bail,
    To his fate he had best get resigned.

  39. Jean E McEwen says:

    My goal is to get it just right,
    So it’s neither too faint nor too bright.
    When it streams in, the glare
    Can be too much to bear–
    But when too low it seems just like night.

  40. Lisi Nortman says:

    Look It Up !!

    If you have a fixed word in your mind,
    But you muse, “Is there more than one kind?”
    Like all us word nerds
    You must find OTHER WORDS
    So you’ll know how “your word” is defined.

  41. Rudy Landesman says:

    Strolling down by the ancient mill stream,
    He was sixty and she was sixteen,
    And they thought it unfair,
    That folks stopped and would glare.
    True love they refused to esteem.

  42. Lisi Nortman says:

    “The Way I See It”

    As of late, I’ve been fervently deeming:
    This cyber world sure has me steaming.
    I’m too old, (call me quaint)
    High-tech stuff makes me faint.
    I prefer to read BOOKS! They’re non- streaming.

  43. Lisi Nortman says:

    Correction Of Above Limerick: The Way I See It

    As of late, I’ve been fervently deeming:
    This cyber world sure has me steaming.
    High-tech stuff makes me faint.
    I’m too old, (call me quaint)
    I prefer reading BOOKS! They’re not streaming.

  44. Rudy Landesman says:

    As I’m walking my baby back home, 🎶
    I’m hoping she won’t need a comb.
    Though the chances are faint;
    Still, I do use restraint.
    I’ve no comb. I’ve no hair on my dome.

  45. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    A snide critic who loved panning plays,
    As he combed through his thoughts for a phrase,
    Said of one ingenue,
    “She can swoon right on cue.”
    Alas, damning the girl with faint praise.

  46. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Fifth Grade Math Test Musings”

    “Here I sit in the midst of my woe.
    With fractions, I’m sure not a pro.
    What’s “one fifth of a FOOT?”
    My poor mind is kaput!
    Oh well, I’ll just answer, “a toe”

  47. Rudy Landesman says:

    “In Nibelheim you might just find
    The place where that Rheingold is mined.”
    “But tell me, my dear,
    How’s it turned into beer?”
    “It’s with gassy, loud music combined.”

    Pace, pace Herr Wagner. I still love you.

  48. Rudy Landesman says:

    Hey Lisi, I thought you needed to know.

    My big toe’s two point four inches long.
    Of that, I am sure. Can’t be wrong.
    That’s one fifth of a foot,
    And to you I now put–
    In fractions I’ve always been strong.

  49. Märy Mcgarvey says:

    Those in the tour business find
    That the British Aren’t very refined.
    Napa tourists so uncouth,
    They drink, then forsooth,
    By their whining, they are defined.

  50. Bob Turvey says:

    There was a composer called Mitch
    Whose diet was very bean rich.
    He was glad his behind
    Was so well refined
    That his farts had a quite perfect pitch.

  51. Bob Turvey says:

    An unfortunate young man from Phuk,
    Once ran into some awful bad luck.
    As he down the street rushed;
    He had his feet crushed –
    Ironically – by a tow-truck.

  52. Bob Turvey says:

    A toff who broke down in our street
    Said, “Look lively, I’ve someone to meet.
    You must give me a tow.”
    So I said, “Sorry Joe,
    I’m afraid they’re attached to my feet.”

  53. Lisi Nortman says:

    The New Thanksgiving

    Thanksgiving is sure not the same.
    And in some ways, it’s really a shame.
    The last hour’s defined
    As the “kin left behind.”
    Who drop in for the pie and the game.

  54. Dave Johnson says:

    A beachcomber happened to find
    Bikini tops – two of a kind.
    While scanning the shore,
    He discovered all four;
    Apparently not in a bind.

  55. Tim James says:

    A man from Hawaii opined:
    “By my job I’m severely confined.
    My plantation, I’ve found,
    Needs attention year round.
    Growing coffee is really a grind!”

  56. Lisi Nortman says:

    A Little Different, but same idea: “Thanksgiving Dinner”

    Close fam’lies are sure not the same.
    Ex-spouses and “steps” now proclaim:
    “You have left us behind
    Don’t be shocked if you find.
    Us crashing for pie and the game.

  57. Tim James says:

    I have very large feet, so I choose
    To buy oversized, custom-made shoes.
    When the creek topped its banks
    All my neighbors gave thanks
    ‘Cause those kicks served as first-rate canoes.

  58. Tony Holmes says:

    Donald Trump is a man much maligned:
    Justly so, he is not of sound mind.
    He suggests, in a speech,
    ‘Covid cure? Inject bleach.’
    Why on earth was he never confined?

  59. Terry Marter says:

    If your trying the ‘orange’ rhyme kind
    Of Lim’rick that stresses your mind
    To the point where it fails,
    There’s a mountain in Wales
    That will rhyme. Thank me after you find.

  60. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’ve traveled on real classy ships.
    I look back on those wonderful trips.
    Since I have two left feet,
    I was always discreet.
    And nobody noticed my flip flips.

  61. Lisi Nortman says:

    I don’t know what rhymes with complaint a lim’rik has so much constraint
    I’m not funny or clever it’s a hopeless endeavor
    stream of conciseness spells make me faint.

  62. Lisi Nortman says:

    Meter Error Correction

    I have traveled on real classy ships.
    And look back on those wonderful trips.
    Tourists notice my feet:
    Both are left, yet discrete.
    And I never need flops, only flips.

  63. Tim James says:

    A podiatrist thought it a thrill
    To take up with a mistress until
    His wife took him to court,
    Cleaned him out just for sport.
    For his sins he’s now footing the bill.

  64. Mary McGarvey says:

    Plantar‘s fasciiitis‘s a curse.
    This time round, it’s much worse.
    It’s a life-style crimper
    When I’m a slow limper.
    The crooks are eyeballing my purse.

  65. Rudy Landesman says:

    Thanks Terry. I’ll now have to visit Blorenge Mountain in Wales.


  66. Rudy Landesman says:

    One never knows what you can find,
    If you are not totally blind.
    I once found an orange
    On a mountain called Blorenge
    That some Welshman or merch* left behind.

    *Welsh for girl

  67. Brian Allgar says:


    Donald snarls at the judge with a glare:
    “You’re corrupter than Biden, I swear!
    Are you outa ya mind?
    That amount I been fined
    Leaves me knocked off my feet everywhere!”

  68. Brian Allgar says:

    The doctors attempted to find
    Something vaguely resembling a mind
    In Trump’s head, but instead,
    Found a short note that read
    “OUT TO LUNCH” With an ‘X’ it was signed.

  69. Doug Harris says:

    To make our best lim’ricks complete,
    We must give folk an anapest treat.
    If the work is distillable:
    (Two short, one long syllable?)
    It has feet that will likely compete!

  70. Doug Harris says:

    Though the limerick verse is five-lined,
    From word one it can wander and wind.
    It’s compact, let’s rejoicester;
    The world’s still our oyster,
    And it’s only our mind that’s confined.

  71. Doug Harris says:

    The mermaid in a STREAM COMBED her hair,
    CORRUPTED I was then and there.
    All at once she felt FAINT,
    But I showed some restraint,
    (Due to Herman the merman’s cold GLARE).

  72. Terry Marter says:

    When, in hist’ry, the facts are enshrined
    They’ll look back: Were his thoughts much maligned?
    Was he humble and kind?
    Or clean out of his mind?
    It’s the latter, I’m sure they will find.

  73. Terry Marter says:

    Nice one Rudy (Oct 3 12.59). I always thought Merch was overpriced T-shirts.

  74. Terry Marter says:

    Mad please delete previous version. Thanks.

    We’ve deemed, within our jurisdiction,
    That you’ve failed due to gross dereliction.
    So today you’ve been fined
    (It’s the real estate kind)
    We took Trump Tower, – here’s your eviction!

  75. Rudy Landesman says:

    Every night he was combing the street
    With the hope that someday he would meet
    The love of his life.
    (But don’t tell his wife!)
    That corrupt guy was truly in heat.

  76. Brian Allgar says:

    Random (all 5)

    The Donald was combing his hair
    With a faint but malevolent glare.
    He saw an eruption,
    A stream of corruption –
    His scalp had just laid his soul bare.

  77. Brian Allgar says:

    They say that I’m tiny of hand.
    It’s a lie, but I’ll let that one stand.
    They can jeer at my feet,
    But for one they can’t beat,
    They should just see the size of my gland!

  78. Brian Allgar says:

    “Yeah, my voters are deaf, dumb, and blind,
    With an IQ that’s too small to find.
    I’d be screwed, that’s for sure,
    In 11/24
    If my voters were in their right mind.”

  79. Lisi Nortman says:

    There is a new rule in my senior apartment building: “No Eating In The Lobby”

    Toll House cookies are one of a kind.
    With brown sugar and eggs, they’re entwined.
    The new law was ignored,
    And Ms. Anna was floored
    When for each choc’late chip she was fined.

  80. Lisi Nortman says:

    One of the dumbest things Trump ever said (Randoms) I have paraphrased this
    so I could turn it into a limerick

    I was watching T.V. then I fainted.
    Cuz I wasn’t informed or acquainted
    Bout’ a Lysol injection
    Ensuring protection.
    (Share your thoughts. Would our blood stream be tainted?)

  81. Brian Allgar says:

    Donald gives the thumbs-up to Matt Gaetz
    For removing the Speaker he hates.
    “Now ya just gotta find
    Enough dirt of some kind
    Toi make Kevin and Biden cell-mates.”

  82. Tim James says:

    A homely young fellow named Nate
    Mansplains constantly, irking his mate:
    “I was happy to find
    That it’s true: love is blind.
    Were it deaf as well, that would be great.”

  83. Terry Marter says:

    To a cell he may soon be confined
    Till his face is more furrowed and lined.
    While he’s there and not here,
    The future is clear:
    He’ll be the last thing on our mind.

  84. Stu Hiley says:

    It’s an off-putting feat I suppose
    to compete in a fast heat that goes
    one hundred meters
    when unlike your “competers”
    you are running on feet with no toes

  85. J.OConnor  says:

    When you said that I look good in green
    Since it matches my skin. That was mean.
    But I think you will find  
    That I really don’t mind
    ‘Cause it makes for a great Halloween.

  86. Tony Holmes says:

    “Now then, Donald, let’s try this again.
    Take your foot from your mouth – – now in plain
    Simple terms, say, ‘I’m bats –
    Always have been – and that’s
    Why …’ No, Donald! Oh, dear! Please restrain.”

  87. Dave Johnson says:

    Despicable Donald should find
    His ass in a slammer – the kind
    With transparent floors;
    On a tank filled with scores
    Of sharks that could prey on his mind.

  88. Liz says:

    The pandemic that had us confined

    Should not be forgotten with time.

    The hell of four walls

    And incessant child’s calls

    Made for a new kind of illness of mind

  89. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Old Dames Senior Facility For Women”

    We ladies have written a theme:
    “You will no longer faint and/or scream.
    Like often before
    When you peed on the floor.
    Wear Depends to avoid that warm stream.”

  90. Tim James says:

    I’m a faint imitation, it seems,
    Of her idols, the men of her dreams.
    I fall glaringly short
    Of the men of the sort
    That appear in the movies she streams.

  91. J.OConnor  says:

    There once was a girl they called Millie
    Who lived in a town close to Philly.
    Cheese steaks she would eat
    Firmly held in her feet.
    ‘Cause she thought using hands would look silly.

  92. Charles Simmons says:

    She said “what do you have in mind “?
    I froze ’cause no words could I find.
    As I gazed at her hips
    And her lovely plump lips,
    She said “oh come on let’s unwind.

  93. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Feeling Patriotic”

    We hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming.
    The ramparts were gallantly STREAMING
    The rocket’s red GLARE
    Proved our flag was still there.
    I’m plotzing, and FAINTING ,while beaming.

  94. Lisi Nortman says:

    I used the wrong tense in L5. This is the fix

    We hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming.
    The ramparts were gallantly STREAMING.
    The rocket’s red GLARE
    Proved our flag was still there.
    We FAINTED, yet couldn’t help beaming.

  95. George Larson says:

    I had a few drinks to unwind,
    And leave all my troubles behind,
    But Officer Stubbs
    Saw me pee in the shrubs,
    And now I’ve been locked up and fined.

  96. George Larson says:

    The star of the basketball team
    Has shoes that are size seventeen,
    And fungus that grows
    On the nails of his toes,
    And under the skin in between.

  97. George Larson says:

    A corrupt man with streamy orange hair
    Smiles faintly, as if he could care,
    He thinks he looks real hot,
    Combs over his bald spot,
    To hide the embarrassing glare.

    Of justice I see a faint gleam,
    His glaring corruption would seem
    To have foiled the buffoon,
    We can watch it all soon
    On the Georgia court’s video stream.

  98. Rudy Landesman says:

    Some Fairy-Tale Revisionism


    Cinderella (and this really galls)
    Did crash parties. One also recalls,
    With her feet clad with glass,
    She displayed little class.
    But she certainly did have some balls.

  99. Rudy Landesman says:

    Some more Revisionism


    Rapunzel did once comb her hair.
    It was long beyond any compare.
    Twas the talk of the town.
    It streamed two stories down,
    Enticing a prince to her lair.

  100. Rudy Landesman says:

    And yet more Revisionism


    Rumpelstiltskin, it’s said, was corrupt.
    Children’s dreams he would sometimes disrupt,
    And with pleasure they’d shout.
    So, I have a faint doubt.
    Was our judgement of him too abrupt?

  101. J.OConnor says:

    When it’s hot and you walk on the tar
    With bare feet, you won’t get very far.
    It’s easy to handle.
    Give each foot a sandal.
    Or else you might give them a scar.

  102. Neal Starkman says:

    I spent endless hours in attempts to find
    A Republican with a balanced mind.
    “Do join us,” some said;
    “You’ll see we’re well-read.”
    But of course I swallowed hard and declined.

  103. Lisi Nortman says:

    “The Long And Winding Road”

    Colonoscopies sure make me scream.
    The procedure is very extreme:
    With a tube, “”doc” combs through
    The gut, till you’re blue.
    And checks out your meandering stream.

  104. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’ve always despised Uncle Keith.
    His will read, “I herby bequeath”
    (I angrily glared
    And was sure unprepared)
    For “a comb with some real decayed teeth.”

  105. J.OConnor  says:

    His hair was combed neat and was parted.
    His speech on decorum had started.
    He straightened his back.
    Spoke of manners they lack.
    Then glared at the crowd as he farted.

  106. J.OConnor  says:

    Degrees do not grow on the trees
    When your best grades are not even D’s.
    Get your feet on the ground.
    Turn your life all around.
    For a quick hundred eighty degrees.

  107. Lisi Nortman says:

    My son’s messy; we had quite a spat.
    I can’t stand it; I said, “Listen Pat
    Before you walk in
    From wherever you’ve been,
    Wipe you feet on the neighbor’s front mat.

  108. Rudy Landesman says:

    Hey Lisi,
    An alternative to a colonoscopy.

    Sigmoidoscopies, you might just find,
    Are great fun for your little behind.
    As the doc does his task,
    Turn around and just ask:
    “Is it in yet? You see I don’t mind.”

  109. Lisi Nortman says:

    Foot/Feet “Go For The Whole Kit And Caboodle”
    Hey yourself, Rudy:

    Sigmoidoscopies aren’t complete.
    They’re for chickens who can’t take the heat
    Of a tube which takes pics
    Which is roughly bout’ six
    Hundred thousand and twenty five feet.

  110. Unsal Ozunlu says:

    In her room a lover, did she find,
    With passion for her sweetheart so refined;
    But for her new nasty swine,
    Nice it was with her to dine;
    In her piggery closely confined.

  111. J.OConnor  says:

    When he said that he made up his mind,
    Did he mean it’s the make-believe kind?
    Did he just reveal
    That his mind isn’t real
    Or just lost and he’s hoping to find?

  112. Terry Marter says:

    On the highway, well lit and white lined,
    Was a crash of unusual kind:
    The driver, a cat
    Who was blind as a bat,
    Was found drunk as a skunk and was fined.

  113. Terry Marter says:

    As the fight got increasingly heated
    To ensure that the king was unseated,
    He declared that “It rankles
    When, clean at the ankles,
    With the swipe of a sword I’m de-feeted.”

  114. Tim James says:

    McCarthy was startled to find
    That his caucus was out of its mind.
    Disgraced and displaced,
    He got thoroughly Maced.
    Maybe next time he’ll be stiffer-spined.

  115. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun Limerick-Off, which is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 514. Congratulations to the winners!

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Crow.