MAD KANE’S HUMOR BLOG

I thought I was through bitching about taxes and the IRS for at least a few months.  But apparently not: 

Dear IRS
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear folks at the Fed IRS,
Your rules and your regs are a mess.
You’re unfair to the poor. 
Middle class?  Even more.
So beware, cuz I know your address.

Note to the FBI, the IRS, and Homeland Security: This is a humor blog, so please don’t arrest me. Thanks for … uh … listening. 

Technorati Tags: IRS Humor, Taxation Satire, Limericks, Tax Humor, Letter Poems, Money Verse, Tax Poetry 

Interactive Taxes
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Hello. Welcome to Taxtime, your Interactive Tax Preparer Program. Do you feel like doing your taxes today?

I see. Well, don’t you think you should do them anyway? After all, it’s April 14. And who knows? Maybe you’ll get a refund.

That’s the spirit. Let’s begin with your name, address, and marital status.

Sorry to hear about the divorce. But don’t let it get you down. That alimony deduction will come in handy.

Please don’t cry. Things are bound to improve. In the meantime, let’s talk about dependents. Do you have any children?

Wow! I hope they’re not all in college.

You’re having visitation problems on top of everything else? Gee, I can’t help you there. But you might try our Interactive Matrimonial Lawyer Software.

I hate lawyers too. But we’re really veering off track … Interactive Taxes is continued here.

Technorati Tags: Income Tax Humor, Computer Software Humor, Tax Filing Humor, Technology Commentary, Money Satire, Financial Humor

Here in the U.S., tax return day (April 15th) is looming. So today’s limerick and haiku theme is taxes and tax returns or, if you prefer, forms that drive you nuts. First, my limerick:

Taxing Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My records are scattered.  Oh dear!
And tax filing day’s almost here.
My receipts are all over –
Some eaten by Rover.
I’m destined for prison, I fear.

And now my haiku:

Whether you owe cash
Or are due a tax refund
Filing is taxing.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about taxes and tax returns and/or forms that drive you nuts. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. 

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

1. paisley
2. Noah the Great
3 Tumblewords
4. XBox Wife
5. Robert

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your tax-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Tax Return Humor, IRS Poem, Writing Prompts, U.S. Taxes, April 15th Humor, Tax Refunds, Money Limerick, Annoying Forms

I’m afraid I can’t stop writing tax return limericks — probably because it’s a lot more fun than actually working on my tax return.

Yet Another Tax Filing Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Why does tax filing time cause such stress?
Wretched forms to fill out—it’s a mess!
All confused, you say, “Heck!”
Then you write out a check
For what’s due or, at least, your best guess.

Technorati Tags: Taxing Humor, Income Tax Humor, Money Satire, Form 1040 Humor, Tax Filing Humor, Federal Income Tax

So, have you started working on your income tax return  yet? Me neither.

Form 1040 Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a tax form that makes me irate:
Form 1040, a long form I hate,
Due mid-April, each year,
With my check. (Will it clear?)
It’s no wonder I always file late. 

Technorati Tags: Taxing Humor, Income Tax Humor, Money Satire, Form 1040 Humor, Tax Filing Humor, Federal Income Tax, Procrastination Humor

Taxing Times
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

My husband Mark and I usually prepare our joint tax returns jointly. Being good citizens, we begin early in February with tax planning discussions like this:

Mark: We really should start doing our taxes next Saturday.
Me: You’re absolutely right. I’ll pick up Quicksand’s ShirkoTax this week.

By late March we’ve made impressive progress:

Mark: We really should start doing our taxes next Saturday.
Me: You’re absolutely right. I’ll pick up Quicksand’s ShirkoTax this week.

Our tax planning culminates promptly on April 14 when Mark boots up the computer, loads ShirkoTax, and does whatever it is one does with tax software. … (Taxing Times is continued here.)

Technorati Tags: Tax Humor, Income Tax Humor, Money Satire, Husband Wife Humor

Ode To Prosperity
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The affluent prosper quite well,
As their savings continue to swell.
It is great to be rich.
Destitution’s a bitch.
You might say that it’s taxing as hell.

(My money and tax humor is collected here.)

Technorati Tags: Prosperity, Wealth, Affluence, Poverty, Destitution, Satire, Humor, Taxes