Archive for the ‘Tax & IRS Satire’ Category

Reining In Your Returns (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 10th, 2012

A horseback-riding reader asked me to write a tax-related limerick. Here’s what I came up with:

Reining In Your Returns (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To the folks who find horseback transcendent,
Please beware, you could be a defendant,
If when doing your tax,
You err to the max
By declaring your horse a “dependent.”

Tax Time, Already?

Thursday, April 14th, 2011

Tax Time, Already? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s tax time again — I’ve been lax.
Am I stalling? Oh yes, to the max.
Cuz I’d rather write verse
Than struggle and curse
Over taxing mathematical facts.

(You can find lots more of my money and tax humor columns and verse here.)

Edgy Limerick

Friday, February 18th, 2011

Edgy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

His cash flow had put him on edge,
And he needed a day to just veg.
He was stressed to the max
Over real estate tax,
And could not even fund his new hedge.

(Lots Of Laughter edge prompt)

Taxing Deadlines (Limerick)

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

Why finish my tax return, when I can write a limerick about not finishing my tax return?

Taxing Deadlines
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Did you file your 1040? Not me!
Cuz I need an extension, you see.
Could not get it together.
I’m blaming the weather.
Do I wish it was finished? Mais oui!

Related Posts: Interactive Taxes, Taxing Times and Money Humor.

Dear IRS

Sunday, April 20th, 2008

I thought I was through bitching about taxes and the IRS for at least a few months.  But apparently not: 

Dear IRS
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear folks at the Fed IRS,
Your rules and your regs are a mess.
You’re unfair to the poor. 
Middle class?  Even more.
So beware, cuz I know your address.

Note to the FBI, the IRS, and Homeland Security: This is a humor blog, so please don’t arrest me. Thanks for … uh … listening.

Yet Another Tax Humor Piece: Interactive Taxes

Monday, March 31st, 2008

Interactive Taxes
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Hello. Welcome to Taxtime, your Interactive Tax Preparer Program. Do you feel like doing your taxes today?

I see. Well, don’t you think you should do them anyway? After all, it’s April 14. And who knows? Maybe you’ll get a refund.

That’s the spirit. Let’s begin with your name, address, and marital status.

Sorry to hear about the divorce. But don’t let it get you down. That alimony deduction will come in handy.

Please don’t cry. Things are bound to improve. In the meantime, let’s talk about dependents. Do you have any children?

Wow! I hope they’re not all in college.

You’re having visitation problems on top of everything else? Gee, I can’t help you there. But you might try our Interactive Matrimonial Lawyer Software.

I hate lawyers too. But we’re really veering off track … (Interactive Taxes is continued here.)

Taxing Verse (Limerick & Haiku Prompt)

Friday, March 28th, 2008

Here in the U.S., tax return day (April 15th) is looming. So today’s limerick and haiku theme is taxes and tax returns or, if you prefer, forms that drive you nuts. First, my limerick:

Taxing Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My records are scattered.  Oh dear!
And tax filing day’s almost here.
My receipts are all over —
Some eaten by Rover.
I’m destined for prison, I fear.

And now my haiku:

Whether you owe cash
Or are due a tax refund
Filing is taxing.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about taxes and tax returns and/or forms that drive you nuts. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

Yet Another Tax Filing Limerick

Monday, April 9th, 2007

I’m afraid I can’t stop writing tax return limericks — probably because it’s a lot more fun than actually working on my tax return.

Yet Another Tax Filing Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Why does tax filing time cause such stress?
Wretched forms to fill out—it’s a mess!
All confused, you say, “Heck!”
Then you write out a check
For what’s due or, at least, your best guess.

Form 1040 Blues

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007

So, have you started working on your income tax return  yet? Me neither.

Form 1040 Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a tax form that makes me irate:
Form 1040, a long form I hate,
Due mid-April, each year,
With my check. (Will it clear?)
It’s no wonder I always file late. 

Taxing Times

Friday, March 16th, 2007

Taxing Times
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

My husband Mark and I usually prepare our joint tax returns jointly. Being good citizens, we begin early in February with tax planning discussions like this:

Mark: We really should start doing our taxes next Saturday.
Me: You’re absolutely right. I’ll pick up Quicksand’s ShirkoTax this week.

By late March we’ve made impressive progress:

Mark: We really should start doing our taxes next Saturday.
Me: You’re absolutely right. I’ll pick up Quicksand’s ShirkoTax this week.

Our tax planning culminates promptly on April 14 when Mark boots up the computer, loads ShirkoTax, and does whatever it is one does with tax software. … (Taxing Times is continued here.)

Ode To Prosperity

Tuesday, November 28th, 2006

Ode To Prosperity
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The affluent prosper quite well,
As their savings continue to swell.
It is great to be rich.
Destitution’s a bitch.
You might say that it’s taxing as hell.

(My money and tax humor is collected here.)

UPDATE: October 31 is World Savings Day.