MAD KANE’S HUMOR BLOG

Rising-star raves,
Hype, sticks and stones, has-been whispers:
Celebrity press.

(This haiku was prompted by sticks and stones and rising.  And speaking of prompts, I just posted a new limerick and haiku prompt. Its theme is age and/or life stages.)

Technorati Tags: Celebrities, Celebrity Poem, Media Haiku, Press Humor, Writing Prompts

Do you want to lose weight?  Then I recommend that you watch Gordon Ramsay’s new Fox show Kitchen Nightmares during dinner.  As the good Gordon might (and often does) say, “Oh my God!”

Now my husband Mark and I are fans of Ramsay’s other show Hell’s Kitchen. But other than the presence of Ramsay himself, everything that makes Hell’s Kitchen so much fun — the  competition among chefs whom you get to know and root for throughout the season — is missing from Kitchen Nightmares.  What’s left (at least in episode 1) is numerous nausea-inducing scenes featuring rancid food and roughly gazillion roaches and flies. 

Of course, by the end of the show Ramsay and his team of miracle workers turn the dive-of-the-week into a restaurant you wouldn’t be afraid to dine in.

What I can’t figure out is what the Manhattan restaurant featured in week 1 (Indian restaurant Dillons, reborn as Purnima) was doing in business before the makeover.  Doesn’t New York City have restaurant inspectors?  I sure hope so, because that’s where I live.

And now it’s time for a limerick:

Restaurant Nightmare
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I must flee this buffet. Please, let’s go.
A mouse just ran by and … oh no!
I spotted a roach
As it tried to encroach
On my sole. What’s that thing on your toe?

(You can find more of my food humor here and more of my media humor here.)

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And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Carnival of the Insanities
* Carnival Of Satire
* Carnival of Humor
* Blog Carnival of Observations On Life
* All Women Blogging Carnival
* Carnival of Family Life

Technorati Tags: Kitchen Nightmares, Hell’s Kitchen, Divey Restaurants, Dining Out Humor, Broadcast TV Humor, Media Humor, Gordon Ramsay, Fox Television, Insects, Roaches, Flies, Weight Loss Humor, New York City Restaurant, Restaurant Inspection, Buffet

Reviewing The Reviewers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I just saw a play I abhorred
That reviewers quite simply adored.
‘Twas pretentious, third-rate,
But the dailies raved, “Great!”
Could it be that they like being bored?

Has this sort of thing ever happened to you? Please rate your experience with reviews by taking this poll:

(You can catch up with my previous polls here.)

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And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* There’s still time to preorder Antisocial Commentary: From the Secret Files of the Mattress Police, the “hilarious excursion through the mind of Rob Kroese, aka ‘Diesel,’ the twisted mastermind behind the humor website MattressPolice.com.” 
* Carnival of Satire
* Hillary’s Breasts Invited To GOP’s CNN/BOOBTUBE Debate
* Blog Carnival On Observations On Life
* Carnival of Family Life
* Blawg Review 119
* Carnival of Craziness
* Carnival of the Insanities
* Blawg Review 118 

Technorati Tags: Plays, Reviews, Newspaper Reviewers, Play Humor, Theater Humor, Bad Productions

Fantasy “Dear Editor” Letter (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My writing is great, you should know,
Yet you turn it all down. What a blow!
Your taste is awry,
Else you surely would buy
My submissions. I’m through. Keep your dough!

(I wonder how many magazine and book editors have gotten letters like this.)

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And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* The Carnival of Personal Finance
* Blawg Review
* Blog Carnival On Observations On Life
* Best Of Me Symphony

Technorati Tags: Writing Humor, Editor Humor, Publishing Satire, Letters To Editor, Writing Submission Humor, Blog Publicity, Linky Love

As just about everyone knows, 24 is a popular, award-winning Fox television series about a federal counter-terrorism unit (CTU) in Los Angeles. It stars Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer, on whom everyone perpetually counts.  

I was surprised to read that the “devotees of 24  [are] struggling to keep the faith” because hubby Mark and I are big fans:

More 24, Please (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m hooked on the show 24.
Those CTU plots I adore.
And I’m counting on Jack
To defuse each attack
And survive at least one season more.

Technorati Tags: 24 Humor, Fox Television Humor, Television Limerick, TV Humor, Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer, CTU, Counter-Terrorism TV Show

Have you heard about the Rosie O’Donnell vs. Donald Trump feud? Yeah … like you could possibly avoid it. Those publicity-mongers deserve a limerick, don’t you think? 

Rosie O’Donnell vs. The Donald
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Whenever publicity’s needed,
O’Donnell and Trump seem to feed it
By starting a feud
With each other. How rude!
To both I can only say, “Beat it!”

Technorati Tags: Rosie O’Donnell, Donald Trump, Publicity Humor, Feud, Celebrity Humor

“Stop The Chaos!” screeches the magazine cover. “Take Control Of Your Cluttered Life!” Periodicals are packed with chaos-avoidance techniques. But do they work? Let’s see.

1. Awaken early, inspired by self-help articles to finally organize your life. Grab paper scrap and jot down all urgent chores. Admire list, savor it, enhance it with scribbled notes. Spill coffee, rendering list illegible. Then, lest you be tempted to do something that might garner a check mark, file list under “T” for “To Do.” … (How To Disorganize Your Life is continued here.)

Technorati Tags: Self-Help, Health Satire, Media, Magazines, Finances,  Humorous How-To