Posts Tagged ‘Coffee Drinks Humor’

Erecting The Case For Coffee (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 27th, 2015

Good news for men worried about ED — coffee’s good for you:

According to new research from The University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston, men who drink the caffeine equivalent of two to three cups of coffee per day are less likely to have erectile dysfunction.

Erecting The Case For Coffee (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear men, avoid pills and injections,
Yet hold on to your manly erections:
Drinking coffee each day
Drives dysfunction away
And prevents disappointing defections.

Elephant Dung Coffee Beans? I’ll Pass! (Limerick)

Thursday, August 21st, 2014

Elephant Dung Coffee Beans? I’ll Pass! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This brew concept’s hard to digest.
It’s a crappy plan — far from the best:
Amp up elephant mash
With coffee beans. Rash?
Grab a stool and retrieve. Have a fest!

*****

Yes, Canadian entrepreneur Blake Dinkin produces Black Ivory Coffee in Thailand’s “Golden Triangle” via elephant dung. Of course his website describes it rather more genteelly as “Naturally refined by elephants and made from 100% Thai Arabica coffee beans.”

*****

I previously wrote about Chinese panda-dung giftware on my other blog.

An Invention With Bite (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 28th, 2013

Do we really need this invention?

Coffee lovers may be able to get a shot of caffeine right from the toothbrush, if a patent from Colgate-Palmolive goes through.

No need for the double latte down the street: That caffeine could be administered through a patch while you’re polishing those pearlies.

According to the patent application, “The present invention pertains to an oral care implement generally, and more particularly to a toothbrush that releases a chemical into the mouth during use.”

An Invention With Bite (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Can’t wait for your morning caffeine?
Need a fix before brewing that bean?
Too rushed for that rush?
Well a fancy new brush
Could replace that caffeine-filled canteen.

I refer to a new application
For a patent. If granted, your ration
Of morning caffeine
Could arrive as you clean
All your teeth with your toothbrush. Ovation!

Limerick Scenes (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, April 21st, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who often made scenes…*

or

A fellow who often made scenes…*

or

An artist was working on scenes…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Scenes
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who often made scenes
Liked to gripe about “man and machines.”
She thought gadgets depraved,
And yet bitterly raved:
“My espresso grind isn’t worth beans!”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To Espresso & Cappuccino

Friday, November 23rd, 2012

I was alarmed to learn that I missed National Cappuccino Day on November 8th. Then again, every day is Cappuccino Day in my house. (If I didn’t have my own machine, I could never afford my cappuccino habit.)

But all is not lost: Today, November 23rd, is National Espresso Day.

Close enough.

Limerick Ode To Espresso & Cappuccino
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Espresso alone doesn’t please me.
You must add something more to appease me:
Steamed milk, lots of foam,
And you’re just about home.
Just make sure it’s not bitter. Don’t tease me!

Diversion Verse

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

Airplane Piloting 101: If you must spill coffee, spill it on your co-pilot … and not on the plane’s communication’s equipment.

A United Airlines flight from Chicago to Frankfurt, Germany, was diverted to Toronto this week after the pilot dumped a cup of coffee on the plane’s communication’s equipment. The unwanted liquid triggered a series of emergency codes, including one for a hijacking, according to Transport Canada, the agency that regulates transportation in Canada.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Diversion Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A pilot with coffee needs skills
To captain his plane without spills.
So I don’t mean to grouse,
But kindly don’t douse
The controls, cuz that’s flying no-frills.

Caffeinated Limerick

Friday, September 3rd, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine…

Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Caffeinated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine.
He’s addicted, alas, to the bean.
Not to coffee or tea—
Cappuccino, you see,
Is his weakness, at prices obscene.

As his drinks climb past five bucks a pop,
He keeps trying and failing to stop.
He decided last week
It was high time to seek
A solution — went online to shop.

As he browsed. he found makers galore
At an Internet kitchenware store.
So he bought one — now brews
His own drinks — he can’t lose,
Although now he is credit card poor.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

(If you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!)

Ode To Cappuccino

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

Ode To Cappuccino (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When my hot cappuccino’s denied me,
I am steamed. I must have it inside me.
So beware of my ire.
My need is quite dire.
Espresso/foamed milk, or else hide me!

UPDATE: I just found out that National Espresso Day is celebrated on November 23rd.