Posts Tagged ‘Teeth’

Brushing Up On Your Holidays

Wednesday, February 24th, 2016

This holiday surely has bite.
People honor it night after night
And each morning, I hope;
At least those who use soap
Should adore “Nylon Toothbrush Day,” right?

Nylon Toothbrush Day is celebrated on February 24th because on February 24, 1938, the first nylon bristle toothbrush, manufactured by DuPont under the name “Dr. West’s Miracle Toothbrush,” went on sale.

Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”

Monday, June 2nd, 2014

Brace yourself for “I Love My Dentist Day.” (June 2nd)

Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some holidays offer delight,
And others are likely to bite:
Love My Dentist Day’s one
That is NOT packed with fun,
So I brush the day off like a mite.

(You might also enjoy my Dental Deal and my Biting Limerick.)

And don’t forget about National Toothache Day (February 9th) and Dentists Day (March 6th.)

An Invention With Bite (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 28th, 2013

Do we really need this invention?

Coffee lovers may be able to get a shot of caffeine right from the toothbrush, if a patent from Colgate-Palmolive goes through.

No need for the double latte down the street: That caffeine could be administered through a patch while you’re polishing those pearlies.

According to the patent application, “The present invention pertains to an oral care implement generally, and more particularly to a toothbrush that releases a chemical into the mouth during use.”

An Invention With Bite (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Can’t wait for your morning caffeine?
Need a fix before brewing that bean?
Too rushed for that rush?
Well a fancy new brush
Could replace that caffeine-filled canteen.

I refer to a new application
For a patent. If granted, your ration
Of morning caffeine
Could arrive as you clean
All your teeth with your toothbrush. Ovation!

Limerick Ode To National Corn on the Cob Day

Monday, June 11th, 2012

Today, June 11, is National Corn on the Cob Day.

Limerick Ode To National Corn On The Cob Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s Corn on the Cob Day today–
A fine dish for a summer buffet.
I’m guessing its gloss
Comes from firms that sell floss.
Do they secretly root for decay?

Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”

Thursday, May 31st, 2012

Brace yourself! I Love My Dentist Day is coming on June 2nd:

Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It seems “I Love My Dentist Day’s” here
On June 2, but I simply can’t cheer.
Toothless days like that bite!
I can take no delight
In a guy who spurs fear with his gear.

(You might also enjoy my Dental Deal and my Biting Limerick.)

UPDATE: Happy National Toothache Day! (celebrated yearly on February 9th) And happy Dentists Day! (celebrated yearly on March 6th)

Dental Deal (Funny Contract)

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

I’ve received a fair (or unfair) amount of hate mail over the years, mostly for my anti-Bush humor. What else inspired hate mail? This dental humor piece brought in a flood of angry mail after it appeared in the Philadelphia Inquirer. For a brief period, I was Public Enemy #1 among dentists, dental students, and their family members. So it’s lucky for me and my teeth that I live in New York.

Dental Deal (Satirical Contract)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Does the very thought of a dentist set your teeth on edge? Is pudding too challenging to chew? This contract should help mitigate your pain.

AGREEMENT entered into this ____ day of ________, 20__ by anxious Patient and drill wielding Dentist.

WHEREAS, Patient views dentistry as legalized S & M; and

WHEREAS, Dentist enjoys pillaging mouths almost as much as yachting and golf;

NOW, THEREFORE, Dentist and Patient hereby agree as follows:

1. Dentist shall instruct his receptionist not to ask, “How are we today?” If we were well, we would not be here.

2. Dentist acknowledges that Patient’s time has a modicum of value. Accordingly, for every minute Dentist keeps Patient waiting, one dollar shall be subtracted from Patient’s bill. Double, if the waiting room is filled with kids.

3. Dentist shall not try to persuade Patient that X-rays are safe. Such assurances lack credibility when piped in by a Dentist who’s encased in protective gear and cowering next door.

4. Dentist shall not say “You have so many fillings, I can’t read the X-rays.” Otherwise Patient shall say, “Your invoice has so many dollars, I can’t pay the bill. … (My Dental Deal contract continues here.)

Dental Verse (Limerick & Haiku Prompt)

Thursday, November 20th, 2008

A limerick and a haiku (senryu) with teeth today.  First, my limerick:

I think I’m becoming unglued —
Not my mind, but a cap caught on food.
But I can’t blame the guy
Who implanted it.  Why?
I forgot to get perm-glued — not shrewd!

And now my haiku (senryu):

The left and the right
May mouth off at each other,
But both hate dentists.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about dentists and/or teeth. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.  And please post a comment as well.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

1. Elephant Small
2. vincent hefter
3. Alan Summers
4. Lilibeth
5. Rob Kistner
6. kouji | haiku poems
7. Joyce
8. Nickers and Ink
9. sister AE
10. Oliver
11. USpace
12. USpace
13. Ben Cousins
14. Val Russell
15. Holly
16. Unsay Moon

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your dental verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

UPDATE 2: Happy National Toothache Day! (celebrated yearly on February 9th) And happy Dentists Day! (celebrated yearly on March 6th)

A Biting Limerick

Friday, February 2nd, 2007

A Biting Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Ow! My tooth aches,” a man told the nurse,
Whose answer was biting and terse:
“The Doc’s in a tizzy.
His schedule’s too busy.
Take asp’rin. Come back when it’s worse.”

(My Dental Deal, a funny dentist/patient contract, is here.

UPDATE: Happy National Toothache Day! (celebrated yearly on February 9th) And happy Dentists Day! (celebrated yearly on March 6th)