Posts Tagged ‘Dentists’

Happy Dentist’s Day (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 6th, 2019

The dentist belonged to a faction
That would mouth off in ev’ry transaction.
One could never extract
Any manners or tact
From the man, which is why he’s in traction.

National Dentist’s Day is celebrated annually on March 6.

Brushing Up On Your Holidays

Wednesday, February 24th, 2016

This holiday surely has bite.
People honor it night after night
And each morning, I hope;
At least those who use soap
Should adore “Nylon Toothbrush Day,” right?

Nylon Toothbrush Day is celebrated on February 24th because on February 24, 1938, the first nylon bristle toothbrush, manufactured by DuPont under the name “Dr. West’s Miracle Toothbrush,” went on sale.

Ruthless Limerick

Wednesday, August 28th, 2013

Ruthless Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A dentist who’s lacking in ruth
Worships money, possessions, and youth.
In his quest for all three,
His crimes guarantee
He’ll be jailed until long in the tooth.

Limerick Ode To National Corn on the Cob Day

Monday, June 11th, 2012

Today, June 11, is National Corn on the Cob Day.

Limerick Ode To National Corn On The Cob Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s Corn on the Cob Day today–
A fine dish for a summer buffet.
I’m guessing its gloss
Comes from firms that sell floss.
Do they secretly root for decay?

Limerick Bill (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, January 8th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man was upset by a bill…*


A gal was upset by a bill…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Bill
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man was upset by a bill
That was pending on Capitol Hill.
He assumed it impacted
His work if enacted.
Seems dentists hate “drill baby drill.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Dental Deal (Funny Contract)

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

I’ve received a fair (or unfair) amount of hate mail over the years, mostly for my anti-Bush humor. What else inspired hate mail? This dental humor piece brought in a flood of angry mail after it appeared in the Philadelphia Inquirer. For a brief period, I was Public Enemy #1 among dentists, dental students, and their family members. So it’s lucky for me and my teeth that I live in New York.

Dental Deal (Satirical Contract)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Does the very thought of a dentist set your teeth on edge? Is pudding too challenging to chew? This contract should help mitigate your pain.

AGREEMENT entered into this ____ day of ________, 20__ by anxious Patient and drill wielding Dentist.

WHEREAS, Patient views dentistry as legalized S & M; and

WHEREAS, Dentist enjoys pillaging mouths almost as much as yachting and golf;

NOW, THEREFORE, Dentist and Patient hereby agree as follows:

1. Dentist shall instruct his receptionist not to ask, “How are we today?” If we were well, we would not be here.

2. Dentist acknowledges that Patient’s time has a modicum of value. Accordingly, for every minute Dentist keeps Patient waiting, one dollar shall be subtracted from Patient’s bill. Double, if the waiting room is filled with kids.

3. Dentist shall not try to persuade Patient that X-rays are safe. Such assurances lack credibility when piped in by a Dentist who’s encased in protective gear and cowering next door.

4. Dentist shall not say “You have so many fillings, I can’t read the X-rays.” Otherwise Patient shall say, “Your invoice has so many dollars, I can’t pay the bill. … (My Dental Deal contract continues here.)