It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Robert Schechter, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
In Montana, a man with a suit
Is laughed at. They think he’s a hoot!
And they holler with glee
If by chance they should see
That he’s wearing a necktie to Butte.
Congratulations to Colleen Murphy, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
My neighbor was filing a suit,
Claimed I’d sealed up the holes in his flute.
So I entered a plea,
“With the charge I agree,
But it sounds so much better on mute.”
Congratulations to Steve Whitred, who wins a special Limerick Saga Award, occasionally given to a very clever multi-verse limerick. (Here’s some info about the case Steve’s describing in his limerick.)
My fav’rite Nebraskan filed suit
Against God, with intent to impute
That he caused to transpire
Floods, earthquakes and fire.
For his part, the Yahweh was mute.
The judge promptly threw out the suit,
Saying God had no street or rur’l route,
And the bench then observed
Though the lord must be served,
“We’ve no viable means of pursuit.”
So the plaintiff’s appealing the suit,
Says “The grounds for dismissal are moot.
We’re subpoena foregoing.
Jehovah’s all knowing.
We shouldn’t his presence dispute.”
Then the high court vacated his suit,
Though the brief they reviewed was astute.
Now he’s known as the hater
Who sued the Creator
From Oshkosh to Lincoln to Butte.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Scott Crowder, Colleen Murphy, Johanna Richmond, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Sue Dulley, Robert Schechter, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
If you see me dressed up in a suit
And looking refined and astute,
With pants neatly creased,
I must be deceased,
In which case I won’t give a hoot.
A tomato was filing a suit,
Claimed the farmer had called him a “Fruit.”
The judge said, “True ref’rence,
Though not as to pref’rence.
The point of the matter is moot.”
No matter the price of the suit;
When that back-talking Maximus (Glute)
Throws his cares to the wind,
Rich and poor are chagrined.
Mighty mouth of the south, I salute.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A Senator wearing a suit
Was a right wing, religious old coot.
He’d profess, “Guns don’t kill!
But if you’ve got some skill,
When a thug comes around, you should shoot!”
A man all dressed up in a suit
Caught the train for his morning commute.
His outfit, so formal,
Was looked on as normal
By others who took the same route.
Said a man who was hit by a suit:
“I suppose I was far from astute.
I taunted, ‘So sue me!’
He did. Now I’m gloomy.
It’s wiser, at times, to stand mute.”
Will T. Laughlin:
Our limerick rhyme-word is “suit”:
Here’s the worst one — and that’s absolute.
It’s intended in fun,
So I beg: when I’m done,
Would you kindly not hurl rotten fruit?
I’m told that some Hollywood suit
Pitched a biopic: “Hawley and Smoot”.
Smoot never would bend
To the Hollywood trend,
But Hawley would. Ain’t THAT a beaut?
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
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