Limerick of the Week (119)

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Kathy El-Assal, who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:

In £ondon, a bill is a pound,
While in France, it’s the €uro that’s found.
Here in U. S. of A,
The dollar holds $way.
Whirled trade makes the money-go-round.

Congratulations to J Cosmo Newbery, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A professor would often expound
A theory, long proven unsound.
He thought a man oughta
Swim well underwater.
But sadly, in trying, he drowned.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy, Jeff Shirley, Bruce Niedt, Steve Whitred, Fred Bortz, Danielle Nowlin, and David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Colleen Murphy:

With fists on the table I’ll pound.
I’ll stomp both my feet on the ground.
If you’re feeling the blues
From my terrible twos,
Just wait til my threes come around!

Jeff Shirley:

A woman who spent her last pound
Bought a plaything to tickle her mound.
When the batteries failed
“La Dee Da,” she exhaled.
“For the milkman will soon be around.”

Bruce Niedt:

A woman who lost just a pound
Looked down at her scale and then frowned.
So she quit diet planning,
Instead took up tanning–
She’s still fat, but she’s evenly browned.

Steve Whitred:

They gave the poor headboard a pound,
And the mattress collapsed to the ground.
Though they practiced safe sex
On the porch and the decks,
In the bathtub they both nearly drowned.

Fred Bortz:

If baloney is sold by the pound,
Then the costliest radio sound
Is political patter
Where facts never matter
And untruths and falsehoods abound.

Danielle Nowlin:

My professor would often expound
On deep thoughts as he roamed far around.
He declaimed as he moved,
But digressed and he proved
You can get a prof lost who’s profound.

David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:

The penis is barely a pound,
And typic’ly just hangs around,
But with help from tumescence
It gives of one’s essence,
A process for which it’s renowned.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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6 Responses to “Limerick of the Week (119)”

  1. Thanks very much for the Honorable Mention Mad! Congratulations to Kathy, J, and the other HMs. Great Limericks! “Pound” seemed a more difficult rhyme word than expected.

  2. Johanna Richmond says:

    Congratulations to Kathy and J! And to the honorables too — nice limericks, all!

  3. Kathy El-Assal says:

    Just got back from a walk–what a nice surprise! Thanks Mad & Steve & Johanna and congrats to my fellow winners this week!

  4. Fred Bortz says:

    Well done, all! Kathy’s has so many levels of punning, it would be hard to beat.

    I came close to another Facebook friends award, but how can a physicist complain when losing to someone named Cosmo.

  5. Rachel Hoyt says:

    Hahaha! Great writes everyone. Thanks for the giggles. :)

  6. madkane says:

    Congrats one again to all the winners!