Archive for the ‘Physical Appearance’ Category
Tuesday, November 22nd, 2022
I was inspired to write both a limerick and a haiku when encountering the #weird prompt in Mastodon:
When weirdness prevails,
invading lives ev’ry day,
is weirdness still weird?
and
Dear hubby, you look rather weird;
Can’t get used to your black and white beard.
A chin that’s hair-free —
What sheer joy that would be!
So how ’bout it? Let’s get your face sheared!
Tags: Appearance Humor, Beard Humor, Beard Limerick, Facial Hair, Haiku & Senryu, Haiku Humor, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Husband Humor, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Senryu, Senryu Humor, Weirdness
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Haiku & Senryu, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Weird News Snark | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, May 18th, 2022
A would-be attacker named Bill
Is disguised and in black, but lacks skill:
He trips on his way
To assaulting his prey.
Though inept he’s, at least, dressed to kill.
Tags: Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Dress Humor, Dress Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Ineptness, Violence Humor, Violence Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on The Incompetent Felon (Limerick)
Sunday, March 27th, 2022
An old-fashioned barber (and knave)
While at work, tried his best to behave.
But alas, he went nuts;
Stabbed two customers’ guts…
And a third had a very close shave.
Tags: Barber Humor, Barber Limerick, Beard Humor, Beard Limerick, Close Shave, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Barbaric Limerick
Saturday, February 5th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WEAR or WHERE or WARE or BEWARE or AWARE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SHORTAGES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SHORTAGE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 20, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 19, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my WEAR or WHERE or WARE or BEWARE or AWARE-rhyme limerick, which happens to be an ACROSTIC Limerick:
Sometimes gals have a “je ne sais quoi.”
Their “look” is the flip-side of blah.
You’ll be tempted to stare.
Leering’s bad, though. Beware!
Eschew cheering. “Hurrah?” How bourgeois!
And here’s my SHORTAGE-themed limerick:
I went shopping for something to eat.
With chicken and fish they’re replete.
They have plenty of peas,
And all manner of cheese,
But they really should beef up their meat.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Appearance Humor, Behavior Humor, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Shortages Humor, Shortages Limerick, Staring Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 220 Comments »
Wednesday, December 22nd, 2021
It’s a holiday season for ME.
No, not Christmas; I’m Jewish, you see.
If I must, I’ll embellish:
The day that I relish
Is “Short Person Day,” for I’m wee.
(Short Person Day falls on December 22.)
Tags: December Holidays, Height Humor, Height Limerick, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance, Short Person Day
Posted in Limericks, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | 4 Comments »
Friday, December 17th, 2021
When I learn a new word like “jorts,” I feel compelled to use it in a limerick:
“Don’t you dare wear those frumpy old jorts,”
A gal to her husband exhorts.
“Making shorts out of jeans
Is a well-designed means
To induce me to take to the courts.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Clothing Humor, Clothing Limerick, Jeans Humor, Jorts Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Marriage Humor, Shorts Humor, Style Humor, Style Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Out Of Sorts About “Jorts” (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 15th, 2021
We were packed and all ready to jet
To a beachfront resort, when “Not yet,”
Said my wife. “I must go
Get my hair curled by Flo.”
Hours later: “Let’s leave. I’m all set.”
(For the record, I don’t have a wife. But I do have a procrastinating husband with no concept of time.)
Tags: Delays Humor, Delays Limerick, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Time Humor, Time Limerick, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick, Vacation Humor, Vacation Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Holiday Humor, Idiom Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Procrastination Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Time Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor, Vacation Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Exit Interruptus
Wednesday, December 8th, 2021
Oy! December 8 is “Bad Hair Day!”
“Bad Hair Day’s” today. It’s displeasin’
When your hair appears strangled by teasin’,
Or looks dry and yet oily;
Behaving disloyally!
I’m tempted to cite mine for treason.
Tags: Bad Hair Day, December Holidays, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Haircut Humor, Haircut Limerick, Odd Holidays
Posted in Actors & Actresses, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Bad Hair
Thursday, November 11th, 2021
A pissed patron returned to Pierre’s
And demanded free haircut repairs:
“Your stylist destroyed
My look. Fire Floyd!”
The reply? “Kindly stop splitting hairs.”
(Hairstylist Appreciation Day is April 25, and National Hair Day is October 1.)
Tags: April Holidays, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Haircut Humor, Haircut Limerick, Hairstyle Appreciation Day, Hairstylist Appreciation Day, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, National Hair Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Idiom Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Yet Another Hairy Limerick
Sunday, October 17th, 2021
As you can see, I’m embracing “Ass Day.” (October 17)
It’s “Ass Day,” so celebrate rears
And relinquish your booty-size fears;
I suspect your can’s span
Ain’t as wide as a van.
Get behind it and relish the cheers!
Tags: Ass Day, Asses, Booty Humor, Buttocks, Butts, Derrieres, National Ass Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance, Rears
Posted in Limericks, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | 1 Comment »
Saturday, February 13th, 2021
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MEAN or MIEN or DEMEAN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to WEED(s), using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best -related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 28, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 27, 2021, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my Mean/Mien/Demean-rhyme limerick:
A man who had long gone to seed,
Once was hunky and handsome, indeed.
But no more; he is mean,
Vain, and even obscene,
And his visage now mirrors his greed.
And here’s my Weed(s)-themed limerick:
I’m irate and upset: I’ve been sued
By a cranky, litigious old dude,
Who claims that my weeds
Wrecked his lawn with their seeds.
He’s a lawyer, which means that I’m screwed.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Appearance, Appearance Humor, Competition Limerick, Greed, Greed Humor, Law Humor, Law Limerick, Lawn Humor, Lawsuit Humor, Lawsuit Limerick, Lawyer Humor, Lawyer Limerick, Legal Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Litigation Humor, Litigation Limerick, Meanness Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Vanity Humor, Weed Humor, Weeds Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 150 Comments »
Wednesday, April 8th, 2020
Hubby’s hair is in need of a trim.
It’s approaching the length of a limb.
But a barber is out
Cuz that virus has clout.
Will he let me wield scissors? Not HIM!
Tags: Barber, Beauty Parlor, Covid-19, Hair Humor, Haircut, Husband Humor, Pandemic, Physical Appearance, Quarantine
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Physical Appearance | 3 Comments »
Saturday, September 7th, 2019
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using NOTE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to GRAMMAR, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best GRAMMAR-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 29, 2019 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. (Due to my travel schedule you’ll have one extra week to submit your clever, polished verse.) Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 28, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my NOTE-rhyme limerick:
A man who was singing by rote
Kept hitting an out of tune note.
But nobody cared;
Instead, they just stared.
He was cute, which “earned” everyone’s vote.
And here’s my GRAMMAR-themed limerick:
A woman encountered an ad
Whose grammar was markedly bad.
So she dashed off a note
To the sponsor and wrote:
“Are you even a middle school grad?”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Advertising Humor, Bad Singing, Competition Limerick, Education & School Humor, Grammar Humor, Grammar Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, School Humor, Singing Humor, Singing Limerick, Sponsor Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Education & School Humor, Language Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 155 Comments »
Saturday, June 29th, 2019
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SCREEN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to WIND INSTUMENTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best WIND-INSTRUMENT-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 14, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 13, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SCREEN-rhyme limerick, which happens to be an acrostic limerick:
She is tiny; at barely five feet,
Her heels swing from a normal-sized seat.
Oh those movies, unseen;
Rangy men block the screen.
Theater’s hopeless; home-viewing is sweet.
And here’s my WIND-INSTRUMENT-themed limerick, which is also an acrostic limerick:
Oh the sound of the oboe is great,
But the reed making makes me irate.
Often reeds that seem fine
End up trashed. (Most of mine!)
So I envy the flute player’s fate.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Height Challenged, Height Humor, Height Poem, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Movies Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Oboe Humor, Oboe Limerick, Oboe Reeds, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Movie & Play Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 201 Comments »
Sunday, April 22nd, 2018
It’s “Send Your Man Nudes Day.” Oy Vey!
Will I celebrate THAT one? No way!
I’m too old for that stuff,
So no pics in the buff!
I’ll forgo risking cyber-display.
Send Your Man Nudes Day falls on April 22 each year.
Tags: April Holidays, Bawdy Humor, Nude Humor, Nude Photos, Nude Pics, Odd Holidays, Posing Nude, Send Your Man Nudes Day
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Personal, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on A Good Holiday To Skip (Limerick)
Sunday, August 21st, 2016
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SACK at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to HEAT, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best HEAT-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 4, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 3, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A gal in the mood for a snack
Was tempted to purchase a sack
Filled with pretzels and chips,
Which would go to her hips.
How she wished it would go to her rack.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Appearance, Appearance Humor, Competition Limerick, Food Humor, Food Verse, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 80 Comments »
Wednesday, May 4th, 2016
If you’re five-four or under, “petite”
Is what many will call you. Don’t cheat
And pretend to be taller;
Be proud that you’re smaller…
Then savor a thick booster seat.
May 4 is Petite And Proud Day.
And yes, at only five-zero, I’ve been known to use a “booster” provided by a Broadway Theater — the very same one used (according to an usher) by Peter Dinklage.
Tags: Height Challenged, Height Humor, May Holidays, Odd Holidays, Petite And Proud Day
Posted in Limericks, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | 1 Comment »
Saturday, April 2nd, 2016
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TWIST at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CARS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CAR-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 17, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 16 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A gal with a bun tried a twist,
Then confessed that she’d never been kissed.
But advice met resistance:
“Don’t want your assistance.
Stop dissing my hairdo!” she hissed.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 154 Comments »
Thursday, January 21st, 2016
Just in time for National Hugging Day:
In a nightmare, she’s mauled by a bear,
As she fitfully sleeps on her chair.
But the truth makes her grouse;
She’d been hugged by her spouse.
“You scared me,” she says. “You need Nair!”
Tags: Affection Humor, Bears Humor, Hair Humor, Hairiness Humor, Hug Day, Hug Humor, Hugging Day, Husband Wife Limerick, January Holidays, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays
Posted in Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on There Are Hugs … and There Are HUGS Limerick)
Saturday, October 17th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using BURN at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A woman was feeling the burn
While working to firm up her stern.
“But your butt is perfection!”
Was hubby’s objection.
“It’s a rear end I’m learning to earn.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Exercise Humor, Gym Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 74 Comments »