Posts Tagged ‘December Holidays’

A Holiday For Short Women? (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 21st, 2016

I’m acknowledging “Short Girl Appreciation Day” reluctantly, because of my aversion to the word “girl” when applied to grown women. Now if they changed it to “Short Woman Appreciation Day,” I’d be a lot more enthusiastic.

Though I stand at a measly five feet,
And in height-fights I’m easy to beat,
Some assume that I’m taller;
A word-spewing brawler
Like me couldn’t be small or petite.

About Those Resolutions (Limerick)

Friday, January 1st, 2016

At the start of each year, it’s tradition
To draw up a vow-list, the mission
Being clean up one’s act
In some way. But in fact,
Our lapses soon lead to contrition.

New Year’s Toast (Limerick)

Thursday, December 31st, 2015

The new year is coming up fast,
As I think of the world’s recent past.
It feels like the brink,
So to hope I shall drink:
Next year’s GOT to be better than last.

Sound Familiar? (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 30th, 2015

That annual moment is near,
When I notice I’ve failed to adhere
To the “vow list” I wrote;
Resolutions I’ll quote
In my NEW list. (They’re longer each year.)

Not That I’m Complaining, But… (Limerick)

Thursday, December 24th, 2015

I’m not writing a climate-change screed,
But I’d wager most folks would concede
This is crazy as heck:
Icy drinks on our deck,
Late December, New York. Coat? No need!

Happy Dewey Decimal Day! (Limerick)

Thursday, December 10th, 2015

When I was a child (way, way, way before computers) I was fascinated by the Dewey Decimal System. How I loved perusing the sliding drawers of those beautiful wooden library cases! They were packed with tiny cards, key to my quest for the number that would lead me to a book’s aisle and shelf location.

So I feel compelled to celebrate Dewey Decimal Day with a limerick. (It’s observed each year on December 10th, in honor of the birthday of Melvil Dewey, inventor of the Dewey Decimal System.)

The U.S. librarian Dewey
Found our library book placement screwy.
“Shelve this system,” he said.
“Number topics instead!”
(So chop suey is near ratatouille.)

Note: Under this topical/numeric system, food books would generally fall into the 641 classification. Cooking and recipes would be 641.5, whereas “cooking specific kinds of composite dishes” would be 641.8.

Happy National Pastry Day (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 9th, 2015

A pastry chef promised to can
All her plans to procure a nice tan,
Cuz fresh wrinkles appeared
Ev’ry day, which she feared
Came from baking like cake in a pan.

Happy National Pastry Day. (December 9)

Limerick Ode To Galileo’s Telescope

Thursday, December 3rd, 2015

It’s Telescope Day, celebrated because on December 3, 1621, Galileo announced he’d perfected his telescope. And so, a celebratory limerick:

Galileo perfected in spades
The magnificent gadget that aids
Us in viewing the stars
And the planets, like Mars.
Of course, NOW we need curtains and shades.

Limerick For National Mutt Day

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2015

Happy National Mutt Day! (It’s celebrated twice a year, on December 2nd and July 31.)

Today we must cherish the mutt.
Mongrels matter, no if, and, or but.
Purebred dogs may be chic,
But each mixed breed’s unique.
It’s clear cut. Walk yours proudly and strut.

Post-Christmas Lament

Friday, December 26th, 2014

Post-Christmas Lament
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Christmas season’s ended,
So shopping’s at a stall.
But exchangers have descended.
When’s it safe to risk a mall?

Dear Klutzy Gift-Givers (Limerick)

Thursday, December 18th, 2014

Dear Klutzy Gift-Givers (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Are your fingers all thumbs? Then beware!
Please don’t try to convince her you care
By wrapping your gift.
One quick look — she’ll be miffed:
“Why’s my present been mauled by a bear?”

Limerick Ode to the Horse

Saturday, December 13th, 2014

Happy “National Day of the Horse.”

Limerick Ode to the Horse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s the “National Day of the Horse.”
Till I’m hoarse, I of course shall endorse.
On the racecourse or farm
Or police force, what charm!
It had better not be your main course.

Something I’ve Noticed (Limerick)

Monday, December 8th, 2014

Something I’ve Noticed (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This notice can fill you with dread,
When it comes from your office-place head:
Not the “blue slip,” you smarty–
The “holiday party!”
I’ll bet you’d feel safer in bed.

Limerick Ode To Bartender Appreciation Day

Friday, December 5th, 2014

Happy Bartender Appreciation Day! (first Friday of December)

Limerick Ode To Bartender Appreciation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow walked into a bar
And ordered a “smoked cable car.”
“Outta rum,” barkeep said.
“How’s a sidecar instead?”
It was close but, alas, no cigar.

*****

When you are ailing,
a bartender’s frequently
a stout companion.

******

UPDATE: February 24 is World Bartender Day.

Resolution Disclaimer (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 1st, 2014

Resolution Disclaimer (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Resolutions ain’t sticky, I fear,
Be it sugar, tobacco or beer.
If you’ve broken that pledge,
Please don’t be on edge.
No worries! There’s always NEXT year.

A Pessimist’s Ode To “Look On The Bright Side Day”

Saturday, December 21st, 2013

I was disturbed to hear that today (December 21) is “Look On The Bright Side Day.”

Please don’t tell me to “look on the bright side.”
This merely exposes your trite side.
Neither wise, nor delightful,
It makes me feel spiteful.
Quote that maxim? I’ll max out my smite side.

Happy New Year Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, December 30th, 2012

Since 2013 is almost here, I’m offering you an alternative: You may write a limerick related to new year’s resolutions, using any first line. Next week I’ll present an extra award — one for the best new year’s resolutions limerick.

And now, getting back to my regular Sunday challenge: It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was making a list…*

or

A woman was making a list…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Happy New Year Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was making a list
Of items he’d try to resist
In the upcoming year.
But he lost it, I fear:
Both the list and his will to desist.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Regifting Gone Wrong (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 19th, 2012

Here’s a 2-verse limerick to celebrate National Regifting Day (3rd Thursday of December.)

Regifting Gone Wrong
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was trying to sift
Through items to maybe regift.
But alas, she confused
The stuff she perused.
I suspect that some folks will be miffed.

A fruitcake went back to the sender,
And the same thing occurred with a blender.
Then a gift from her brother
Got sent to her mother.
Her relationships now need a mender.

Ambitious Techie (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 4th, 2012

Happy National Cookie Day, December 4th.

Ambitious Techie (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A techie served cookies malicious
To his team members. Talk about vicious!
A promotion he chased.
He was fired post-haste—
Just deserts for a guy so ambitious. 

A Limerick For National Chocolate Day

Saturday, October 27th, 2012

Tomorrow, October 28th, is National Chocolate Day. (Okay, every day is chocolate day in my house. But still…)

A Limerick for National Chocolate Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oh, no! Did I make a mistake
While baking that chocolate cake?
An ingredient doubled?
Or tripled? I’m troubled!
I should have bought something from Drake.*

* Drake’s a baking company, now a subsidary of Hostess.

UPDATE: If you need a further excuse, I’ve just learned that December 16th is Chocolate Covered Anything Day.