Posts Tagged ‘December Holidays’

Loathing Latkes (Limerick)

Monday, May 2nd, 2022

Someone dared me to write a latke limerick. (No need to check your calendars. Hanukkah’s still in December.)

A latke debate has emerged:
“Eat latkes with sugar,” Mark urged.
“Using sugar sounds weird,”
Sev’ral said. Others cheered.
As for me, latkes ought to be purged.

Engaged By The Cello (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 29th, 2021

My beau plays the cello. His bow
Makes the loveliest music I know.
I love him, I think,
But my mother, a shrink,
Says I won’t, once I’ve heard Lorne Munroe.

Happy “International Cello Day!” (December 29)

A Heart To Heart About Bots (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 28th, 2021

I enjoy playing Hearts against bots.
Do they win many times? Alas, lots!
But they don’t stop to snack,
And they never talk smack.
They don’t gloat or take shots or share thoughts.

(Happy Card Playing Day! It falls each year on December 28.)

Fruitcake Haiku

Monday, December 27th, 2021

Today’s holiday
is National Fruitcake Day —
the cake, NOT the nuts.

(December 27 is National Fruitcake Day.)

A Short Limerick

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2021

It’s a holiday season for ME.
No, not Christmas; I’m Jewish, you see.
If I must, I’ll embellish:
The day that I relish
Is “Short Person Day,” for I’m wee.

(Short Person Day falls on December 22.)

Tied Up In Knots (Limerick)

Saturday, December 18th, 2021

This limerick would, alas, be timely, even if today (December 18) weren’t “World Knot Tying Day.”

A woman was tied up in knots
Over Covid. She feared for her tots.
Said her husband, “No vax!
I’d rather eat wax!”
In their fam’ly, the dolt calls the shots.

Haiku for “Ugly Christmas Sweater Day!”

Friday, December 17th, 2021

Dump redundancy!
U̷g̷l̷y̷ ̷C̷h̷r̷i̷s̷t̷m̷a̷s̷ ̷S̷w̷e̷a̷t̷e̷r̷ ̷D̷a̷y̷
Christmas Sweater Day.

*****
Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is celebrated each year on the 3rd Friday of December.

Limerick Ode To The Screwdriver

Tuesday, December 14th, 2021

It’s National Screwdriver Day.
The drink (not the tool) is at play.
I find vodka too rough.
Orange juice? I rebuff.
But together, great stuff, so hooray!

(Happy National Screwdriver Day, which falls on December 14.)

Pastry Day Haiku

Thursday, December 9th, 2021

I almost forgot
that today is “Pastry Day.”
That sure takes the cake!

****

December 9 is “National Pastry Day.”

For the record, sticklers would consider my pastry haiku a senryu.

Limerick Ode To Bad Hair

Wednesday, December 8th, 2021

Oy! December 8 is “Bad Hair Day!”

“Bad Hair Day’s” today. It’s displeasin’
When your hair appears strangled by teasin’,
Or looks dry and yet oily;
Behaving disloyally!
I’m tempted to cite mine for treason.

A Limerick Ode To Dice

Saturday, December 4th, 2021

“Our son has a terrible vice;
He’s a gambler and not very nice.
When we tell him to stop,
He says, ‘Mother and Pop,
All my cards on the table: No dice!'”

(December 4 is “National Dice Day.”)

Ban This Holiday? (Limerick)

Saturday, December 4th, 2021

Of the many odd hol’days I find,
There are some that I can’t get behind:
Today’s “Cheater Day!” Why
Salute such a guy?
Oh, it’s “Cheetah” Day? Oops! Never mind!

Ill-Bred Limerick

Thursday, August 26th, 2021

Happy “National Dog Day.” (August 26)

My favorite breed is the “mutt.”
Yes, I know you’re about to say “But,
That isn’t a breed.”
I’m aware, but I need
To annoy nutty dog snobs who strut.

(National Mutt Day is celebrated on two days: July 31 and December 2.)

New Year’s Eve Limerick Trio

Monday, December 31st, 2018

New Year’s Toast:

The new year is coming up fast,
As I think of the world’s recent past.
It feels like the brink,
So to hope I shall drink:
Next year’s GOT to be better than last.

*****
Resolution Disclaimer:

Resolutions ain’t sticky, I fear,
Be it sugar, tobacco or beer.
If you’ve broken that pledge,
Please don’t be on edge.
No worries! There’s always NEXT year.

*****

Drunken Limerick:

Can I write silly verse after drinking?
Let’s see. Wait a second — I’m thinking.
Can’t come up with a verse
Or a rhyme. Even worse,
I suspect that this limerick’s stinking.

A Holiday For Short Women? (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 21st, 2016

I’m acknowledging “Short Girl Appreciation Day” reluctantly, because of my aversion to the word “girl” when applied to grown women. Now if they changed it to “Short Woman Appreciation Day,” I’d be a lot more enthusiastic.

Though I stand at a measly five feet,
And in height-fights I’m easy to beat,
Some assume that I’m taller;
A word-spewing brawler
Like me couldn’t be small or petite.

Limerick Ode To Lost Sock Memorial Day

Monday, May 9th, 2016

AWOL socks are a grim laundry given;
Former pairs inexplicably riven,
Dresser drawers oddly littered
With orphans, embittered
And wond’rin’ where old mates are livin’.

May 9 is National Lost Sock Memorial Day. And December 4 is National Sock Day.

About Those Resolutions (Limerick)

Friday, January 1st, 2016

At the start of each year, it’s tradition
To draw up a vow-list, the mission
Being clean up one’s act
In some way. But in fact,
Our lapses soon lead to contrition.

New Year’s Toast (Limerick)

Thursday, December 31st, 2015

The new year is coming up fast,
As I think of the world’s recent past.
It feels like the brink,
So to hope I shall drink:
Next year’s GOT to be better than last.

Sound Familiar? (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 30th, 2015

That annual moment is near,
When I notice I’ve failed to adhere
To the “vow list” I wrote;
Resolutions I’ll quote
In my NEW list. (They’re longer each year.)

Not That I’m Complaining, But… (Limerick)

Thursday, December 24th, 2015

I’m not writing a climate-change screed,
But I’d wager most folks would concede
This is crazy as heck:
Icy drinks on our deck,
Late December, New York. Coat? No need!