Said the gal, what the hell is this dish?
I requested a kasha knish.
This crap that you brought
Is NOT what I bought.
It’s a far diff’rent kettle of fish.
Posts Tagged ‘Food Limerick’
Foul Food (Limerick)
Thursday, August 20th, 2026The “Weapon” (Limerick)
Sunday, August 2nd, 2026“Going out for a snack — a Big Mac,”
Said the man to his wife. “Be right back.”
“No you won’t! Don’t you dare,”
Said his wife, “or your bear
Of a mom shall be giving you flack!”
A Testy Plea (Limerick)
Friday, May 1st, 2026I prefer my food zesty and hot,
So please DON’T make me deal with a bot.
Getting humans to heed
My extreme spicy need?
Tough enough! Don’t replace them with ROT!!
The Surly Chef (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 7th, 2025When she spotted the dour chef’s glower,
The young baker-in-training would cower.
She was desp’rate to bail,
For he’d rail, “Sour! Stale!” …
And then shower the “culprit” with flour.
A Fishy Limerick
Sunday, August 31st, 2025I’m amazed that my husband can eat
Canned sardines. (Hubby swears they’re a treat!)
Just a miniscule dose
Of their smell, oh so gross,
Makes me nauseous; NOT puking’s a feat!
Olives? Please, NO!
Saturday, July 26th, 2025Empanadas can be quite delish.
But alas, many ruin that dish
With green olives, whose taste
Lays those meat pies to waste.
I would sooner eat three-week-old fish.
Fishing For A Limerick
Wednesday, March 26th, 2025For the record, I hate eating fish and I’ve never gone fishing. (But I had a fun time with the prompt word “catch.”)
We were s’posed to go fishing, but natch,
It’s too stormy again; we must scratch
All our catch-eating plans.
Guess I’ll open two cans
Of smoked trout. Why’s there always a catch?
Jammed Up Limerick
Saturday, March 15th, 2025Can you help me get out of my jam?
I was eating some jelly and, damn,
It’s all over my dress
And I’m rather a mess,
So I need something STAT to look glam!
Spurning Sardines (Limerick)
Sunday, November 24th, 2024After learning that today is National Sardines Day, I felt compelled to pen this limerick:
How I loathe the vile smell of sardines.
It’s far worse than the farts caused by beans.
When my spouse grabs a can
Of those critters… oh, man,
I must flee, lest I sully my jeans.
Bad Taste? (Limerick)
Saturday, April 27th, 2024“Tell me, why are you dating that bum?”
Said a gal to her strict-vegan chum.
“Yes, that fellow’s no saint,
But the man sure can paint!
Plus the guy has a very green thumb.”
Dickering Over Dining (Limerick)
Saturday, December 16th, 2023“Let’s not eat here,” said Brad. “It’s for nerds.
And I’ve heard that the food tastes like turds.”
But Brad’s meal-mate insisted
And raved: “Can’t resist it!”
Brad ended up eating his words.
Celebrating The Bagel? (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 12th, 2023“It’s Bagel Day. Buy one! Don’t dally!”
That order did NOT cause my sally
To a favorite store;
Such commands I’ll ignore,
For I always prefer a bialy.
(“National Have A Bagel Day” is celebrated on December 11th, and National Bagel Day is celebrated on January 15th.)
Naysayer Ray (Limerick)
Friday, December 1st, 2023“Do I eat like a horse? Nay,” said Ray.
“So stop saying I do, right away!
I stand falsely accused
And feel bruised, yet amused,
For the truth is I never touch hay!”
The Dissatisfied Patron (Limerick)
Sunday, October 22nd, 2023“Chef, your food has a terrible taste!
Take it back! You prepared it in haste,”
Griped a large, nasty man.
The reply, said deadpan:
“Well at least it won’t go to your waist.”
Hail To The Chef (Limerick)
Friday, October 20th, 2023The chef was a world-famous man,
Whose cuisine had its roots in Spokane.
But his famed bistro failed
And his customers bailed.
Seems success was a flash in the pan.
(International Chefs Day falls on October 20th.)
Droll Thoughts (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 4th, 2023I sometimes feel hearty and hale,
And at other times, dauntingly frail.
When the latter takes hold,
I feel achy and old
And have droll thoughts like “maybe try kale.”
(National Kale Day falls on the first Wednesday of October.)
The Negotiation (Limerick)
Thursday, September 21st, 2023“Your masala’s delicious! Great flavor,”
Raved a customer, currying favor.
Then she added, “But please
Make it hotter. Don’t tease!”
Said the chef, “Fine, but first sign this waiver!”
Celebrate Anisette Day? Don’t Make Me! (Limerick)
Sunday, July 2nd, 2023Though it’s Anisette Day, I don’t care.
I can’t bear any bev’rage or fare
With a licorice taste.
I would rather chew paste!
Me touch tarragon? Not on a dare!
(For some unfathomable reason, “National Anisette Day” is celebrated on July 2.)
Limerick Ode To Hubby’s Broccoli
Wednesday, March 22nd, 2023I used to hate brocc’li. No more!
It’s a food that I’ve come to adore.
But only if made
By my Mark: Well-sautéed,
Hot and spicy, and garlicked full-bore.
Happy “We Love Broccoli Day!” (March 22)
