Archive for November, 2010

Trippy Limerick

Tuesday, November 30th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman was planning a trip…

Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

A woman was planning a trip,
When her husband said, “Please, get a grip.
Our bank account’s low.
We have one-way cash flow.”
But his wife said, “Enough with your lip!”

“You’ve been wasting our cash at the track
And on poker and possibly crack.
I’m sick of this life
And of being your wife.
So goodbye, it is you who should pack.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To Willie Nelson

Sunday, November 28th, 2010

You’d think Texas cops would have more important things to worry about than marijuana in Willie Nelson’s tour bus. But apparently not, so they arrested him. And that cries out for a limerick:

Limerick Ode To Willie Nelson
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Willie Nelson is in a tough spot
Cuz of grass on his tour bus. What rot!
Such arrests make me groan.
Wish they’d leave him alone.
They’re musicians — they’re s’posed to smoke pot.

Limerick Ode To Thanksgiving

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

I can’t let Thanksgiving go by without writing a limerick. Or maybe I can. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure it’s my duty as an American citizen to post this while there’s still time to save yourselves:

Limerick Ode To Thanksgiving
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Whatever you’re planning to eat
On Thanksgiving, I hope it’s a treat.
Whether stuffing and turkey
Or something more quirky,
Here’s hoping it doesn’t repeat.

Poor Excuse For A Limerick Limerick Audio

Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who grew up quite poor…

Here’s mine:

Poor Excuse For A Limerick (Poor Excuse Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who grew up quite poor
Is rich now, but always craves more.
Is it greed or just fear?
It isn’t quite clear
Why she hankers to buy out each store.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo.

Thanks! And happy holiday shopping!

You May Say That I’m A Shirker, But I’m Not The Only One

Friday, November 19th, 2010

Now that I’m back from the Lewis Black Comedy Cruise, I’m not making too good an adjustment to reality. You may say that I’m a shirker, but I’m not the only one.

But I never shirk writing limericks:

Oh, please do not think me a jerk,
But I’m not in the mood to do work.
I am spoiled by the cruise —
Want to hang out or snooze.
And I plan to — my self-employed perk.

Hairy Limerick

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal who was youngish, yet gray…

Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Hairy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal who was youngish, yet gray,
Considered a dye job one day,
But was coloring wary.
(It struck her as hairy.)
She refused, to her mother’s dismay.

Her mom said, “It’s time for some dye,
Else you’ll look even older than I.
And I can not afford
An old daughter — good lord —
If I want to attract a new guy.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

Our Adventures on the Lewis Black Comedy Cruise

Monday, November 15th, 2010

I am not a cruise person. I hate the sun and I avoid boats and water whenever possible. Plus I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to buffets.

But when hubby Mark and I heard about the Lewis Black Comedy Cruise, featuring comedy greats like Kathleen Madigan, John Pinette, Ted Alexandro, Larry Wilmore, Vic Henley, Dom Irrera, and John Bowman, we couldn’t resist.

Wise decision!

Now even with that superb lineup, I was a little leery. In fact, I wrote this limerick before setting unsteady foot on that ship:

I’ve never attempted a cruise,
So I’m nervous — will need lots of booze.
But I could not resist
Such a great comic list.
I need laughs to get over the news.

But I needn’t have worried. Lewis Black was his usual hilarious self, as were all the other comics. Plus we had a great time with the comedians, who mingled after-hours with the riffraff … I mean, fans.

Here’s my two-verse limerick ode to Lewis Black (I wrote it mid-cruise when Internet connection rates were roughly a gazillion bucks a minute.)

The angry old comic Lew Black
Has a mind that is quite out of whack.
So he offered a cruise
Packed with laughter and booze,
Fulfilling a deep-seated lack.

Yes, Lew had a very strong yen
For more contact with women and men:
Lots of fun-loving folks
Who’d laugh at his jokes
And then trail him till heaven knows when.

And finally, my post-return limerick:

We’re home from a comic sensation:
Lew’s Cruise, filled with laughs and elation.
There’s another next year.
(The thought makes me tear.)
Thank you, Lew. You deserve each ovation.

Oh … and just so you know, Lewis Black isn’t just a comic genius — he’s also a mensch.

Drunken Limerick Limerick Audio

Thursday, November 11th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A guy who was drunk and lacked smarts…

Here’s mine:

Drunken Limerick (Drunken Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who was drunk and lacked smarts
Was playing a bar game of darts.
His dart throw went wild
And he injured a child.
He should stick to a card game like hearts.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

Oh, Drat! Limerick Audio

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010

I’m in a terrible mood from yesterday’s election. And trust me — my cursing vocabulary most definitely doesn’t include the word drat.

Oh, Drat! (Oh, Drat Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When someone’s upset and says, “Drat,”
The word sounds appallingly flat.
Such a mealy-mouth curse!
So genteel — I’m averse.
Kindly try to swear better than that.