Archive for July, 2007

Reviewing The Reviewers (Limerick)

Monday, July 30th, 2007

Reviewing The Reviewers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I just saw a play I abhorred
That reviewers quite simply adored.
‘Twas pretentious, third-rate,
But the dailies raved, “Great!”
Could it be that they like being bored?

Poll of Polls

Monday, July 23rd, 2007

Lately I’ve been experimenting with WordPress plugins, including this fun Democracy poll plugin. If you’re into politics, you might enjoy my first ever poll posted on my Political Madness Blog.

Games People Play … At Meetings

Monday, July 23rd, 2007

Games People Play … At Meetings
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Buzzword bingo’s a game workers play
To record pompous things people say:
With a buzzword list near,
They mark jargon they hear,
In their quest to keep boredom at bay.

(My previous humor about meetings is here.

Ode To The Google PageRank Obsession

Wednesday, July 18th, 2007

Website owners, webmasters, and people who specialize in search engine optimization (SEO) and search engine marketing (SEM) tend to be an obsessive bunch, perpetually checking stats  in their quest for better numbers. What do improved numbers mean?  In theory, they beget better placement in search engine results pages (SERPS), more sales, and higher ad rates.

This obsession tends to reach a frenzied peak roughly four times a year, when Google’s Toolbar is updated, and you learn if your latest PageRank has risen or (heaven forbid) dropped. And while some may claim that they don’t care about PageRank, nobody believes them.

In honor of Google PageRank update season, which apparently is upon us, I’ve written this limerick:

Ode To The Google PageRank Obsession
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Google PageRank obsession is back,
‘Cause an update is due, which we track.
Have our efforts paid off?
Although many will scoff,
We need proof that we’re leading the pack.

(You can find more of my computer and technology humor and limericks here, including my song parody Webmaster’s SEO Complaint.)

May I Please Have Your Paw In Marriage? (Updated)

Sunday, July 15th, 2007

May I Please Have Your Paw In Marriage? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Is your schnauzer in love with your collie?
Jolly England can help you, by golly:
Canine weddings—dog marriage
I’d never disparage.
But prenups? Now that would be folly.

Fine Feathers, a farm in the Staffordshire Moorlands, is offering pet “weddings” for people who want their dog, cat, or farm animal to marry its mate. I found this gem of an oddball story in the weird news feeds, which are regularly updated on my offbeat news page.

(You can find more of my dog and animal related poems and humor here and my marriage humour here.)

NOTE ABOUT THE UPDATE:  I decided I didn’t like the last line of my limerick and have replaced it with a new one.  (The old one was “But please don’t let ferns marry holly.”)

Pity The Poor Lawyer (Limerick)

Thursday, July 12th, 2007

Pity The Poor Lawyer
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Your billable hours are low,”
Said the partner. “They simply must grow.
It behooves you to hike them
Or better, please spike them.
To lunch breaks and sleep, just say no!”

(This is but one of many reasons why I’m a “recovering lawyer.” You can find more of my law humor here.)

A Modest Dating Proposal For Anxious Guys

Wednesday, July 4th, 2007

A Modest Dating Proposal For Anxious Guys  (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Introducing your gal to your mom?
Are you worried your intro will bomb?
Well here’s some advice
So the meeting goes nice:
First tell her your date’s name is Tom.