Posts Tagged ‘Canine Poems’

May I Please Have Your Paw In Marriage? (Updated)

Sunday, July 15th, 2007

May I Please Have Your Paw In Marriage? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Is your schnauzer in love with your collie?
Jolly England can help you, by golly:
Canine weddings—dog marriage
I’d never disparage.
But prenups? Now that would be folly.

Fine Feathers, a farm in the Staffordshire Moorlands, is offering pet “weddings” for people who want their dog, cat, or farm animal to marry its mate. I found this gem of an oddball story in the weird news feeds, which are regularly updated on my offbeat news page.

(You can find more of my dog and animal related poems and humor here and my marriage humour here.)

NOTE ABOUT THE UPDATE:  I decided I didn’t like the last line of my limerick and have replaced it with a new one.  (The old one was “But please don’t let ferns marry holly.”)

Cashing In With “Doggie da Vincis”

Tuesday, June 26th, 2007

Cashing In With “Doggie da Vincis” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A dog trainer needed some cash,
So she dreamed up a plan—made a splash:
Teaching dogs how to paint
Abstract art. Great they ain’t,
Though their pictures make mine look like trash.

According to a June 2007 AP news story, Mary Stadelbacher, a dog trainer from Salisbury, Maryland, taught three dogs how to hold a paint brush and paint abstract art. The “doggie da Vincis” are being featured in a Salisbury University art gallery and also have a line of greeting cards.

I must admit to being conflicted about this story.  On the one hand, it strikes me as utterly absurd and makes me feel bad for artists who paint actual art.  On the other hand, those dogs sure as hell paint a lot better than I can.

(You can find more of my dog and animal related verse and humor here and my money humor here.)