Archive for the ‘Exercise Humor’ Category

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BURN at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Saturday, October 17th, 2015

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using BURN at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A woman was feeling the burn
While working to firm up her stern.
“But your butt is perfection!”
Was hubby’s objection.
“It’s a rear end I’m learning to earn.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

A Limerick for International Day Of Yoga (June 21)

Saturday, June 20th, 2015

The U.N. has decreed June 21 to be International Day Of Yoga … which gives me a handy excuse to post this silly limerick:

A gal doing yoga while dressed
In a toga, when questioned, confessed
That her garb did not work—
Turned her poses berserk.
So instead of relaxed, she was stressed.

Yoga Tale (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 13th, 2015

Yoga Tale (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A student was learning a stretch
From her yoga instructor — a lech
Who made passes in classes;
He loved fetching asses.
A class action’s been filed v. that wretch.

*****
View my Yoga Tale Limerick image here.

Wexting? How Pedestrian! (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 14th, 2014

Wexting? How Pedestrian! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A habit that many find vexing
Is called “wexting.” I think it’s perplexing
To text while you walk.
If you wext, then I’ll balk
At sharing a path you’re annexing.

Python Massage? What Kind Of Snake Oil Are They Selling? (Limerick)

Thursday, October 9th, 2014

Python Massage? What Kind Of Snake Oil Are They Selling? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A python massage? Thanks, but no!
It’s relaxing, you claim? I say whoa!
If it’s torture I’m after
(Now please hold your laughter)
Then off to the gym I shall go.

If you want a complimentary python massage, all you have to do is visit the Philippines Zoo.

Limerick Ode To National Dance Day

Saturday, July 26th, 2014

Ordinarily, I’d celebrate National Dance Day today by dancing. But a mysterious foot injury’s forcing me to sublimate by writing a limerick:

Limerick Ode To National Dance Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s Dance Day, so dance if you can.
Do the can-can or whirl with a fan.
Give your muscles some work,
Though it’s best not to twerk
Without checking your medical plan.

Happy “Bike To Work Day”

Thursday, May 15th, 2014

May 16th is National Bike to Work Day. Of course, some rides work out better than others:

A Spousal Ride (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Spousal nagging pushed hubby to strike
Some balance by riding a bike.
But when ego and ass
Took a beating, alas,
He told biking and wife, “Take a hike!”

Cold and Bothered (Quatrain)

Tuesday, January 7th, 2014

Cold and Bothered (Quatrain)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I live in a town where it’s pleasant to stroll.
We do most of our errands on foot.
But it’s frightfully cold. “Let’s stay home,” I cajole.
Forget milk! Let’s be smart and stay put.

Limerick Ode To Wiggle Your Toes Day

Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

Wiggle Your Toes Day (August 6th) isn’t quite as silly as it sounds:

Limerick Ode To Wiggle Your Toes Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Since I’d like both my feet to obey,
I must exercise each ev’ry day:
I wiggle my toes,
Rotate heels — heaven knows
It looks lame, but forestalls foot decay.

Limerick Ode To A Stimulating Ride

Thursday, July 25th, 2013

Limerick Ode To A Stimulating Ride
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If a bike rider seems too elated–
First euphoric, than seemingly sated,
I suspect that her seat
May be vibrating heat,
And that she and her seat cover mated.

Note from Mad Kane: Yes, you can really add excitement to your bike trips with a “Happy Ride” Seat Cover. Apparently it does pretty much what you’d expect it to do.

Limerick Ode To National Running Day

Wednesday, June 5th, 2013

Happy National Running Day, celebrated yearly on the first Wednesday in June.

Limerick Ode To National Running Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My joints tend to creak when I walk.
My knees will lock up and then squawk.
I’ll keep shunning my running,
But watching is stunning!
So I hope you won’t mind if I gawk.

Nude Yoga? Yikes! (Limerick)

Thursday, March 29th, 2012

Yoga’s been in the news quite a bit lately. Is it good for you? Is it bad for you? Should you purchase some fancy yoga garb and skip the actual yoga?

But the oddest story so far is this one about naked yoga classes in South Park Slope, Brooklyn, New York.

Nude Yoga? Yikes!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Take a yoga class naked? How scary!
I confess that the thought makes me wary.
Yes I’ll gladly condone
Nude yoga alone.
But in public? I’m sorry. Too hairy.

(If you’re in Brooklyn and want to study yoga in a more modest fashion, check out my niece’s Crown Heights Fitness.)

Related Posts: A Fountain Of Face-Yoga Youth? and Yoga For What?

A Couple On The Move

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

Whether it’s an Irish pub, a packed rock & roll bar, or a ballroom dance floor filled with Big Band Era seniors, hubby Mark and I will probably dance. Not well, mind you, but with great energy and enthusiasm.

We often attract attention and even compliments, accompanied undoubtedly by such thought balloons as “How do people that old dance so fast?” Or “I’m pretty sure my grandma can’t do that.” Or “What the hell is that woman doing on the men’s side of my synagogue?”

In case you’re wondering, yes we know we’re probably making a spectacle of ourselves. But we’re having fun and we simply don’t care.

Tomorrow, April 29th, is International Dance Day. So Happy International Dance Day, everyone! Here’s my latest limerick:

A Couple On The Move
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When my husband and I try to dance,
Some enjoy us and some look askance.
We’re inept, but enthused,
And don’t have to be boozed
To have rumba-like fun — that’s our stance.

You might also enjoy my We Don’t Think We Can Dance, But We Do It Anyway.

Limerick Ode To a Vigorous Old Lady

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

Limerick Ode To A Vigorous Old Lady
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An old grandma with spring in her walk
Moved so quickly that people would gawk.
When asked if a gym
Was the source of her vim
She said, “No — Jim, Kim, Henry and Hawk.”

(Posted at this spring prompt and at Poetic Asides’ spring prompt.)

UPDATE: July 23 is Gorgeous Grandma Day.