Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BURN at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using BURN at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A woman was feeling the burn
While working to firm up her stern.
“But your butt is perfection!”
Was hubby’s objection.
“It’s a rear end I’m learning to earn.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Tags: , , , ,

74 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BURN at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. David Reddekopp says:

    As Obama will finish his turn
    For a new leader people will yearn
    If you are Democratic
    Vote Clinton? Stay static.
    Want change? Then start feeling the Bern.

  2. David Reddekopp says:

    By cheating, his bridges he’d burn
    With his wife. He would never return
    She decapitated
    Him, had him cremated,
    And kept his remains in an urn.

  3. Ailsa McKillop says:

    The oil at midnight I burn
    As I fill in my dreaded return
    My time thus deployed
    As I’m now self-employed
    Oh, how I miss pay-as-you-earn!

  4. Ailsa McKillop says:

    The ISP companies’ concern
    Such as ARPU, or what rate of churn
    (Those who no longer grace
    Their subscriber base)
    Are worries that constantly burn.

  5. Ailsa McKillop says:

    The Taoiseach was Bertie Ahern
    His son in law: Nicky O’Byrne
    From a boyband of fame
    (Or Westlife by name).
    Some neat Irish trivia to learn!

  6. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    Mad Kane is a former attorn-
    ey-Who chose an alternative journ-
    ey-She now makes us laugh
    Wit and humor, her craft
    Nailing STOOPID with clever ‘wordburn.’

  7. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    Though Hillary thinks it’s her turn,
    I hope people favor the Bern
    Coz in spite of her docket
    Big banks line her pocket
    And just that is ’nuff cause for concern

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    It might have caused Einstein to turn
    In his grave, that collider constructed by CERN
    Claiming “Faster than light!”,
    But the sums weren’t quite right –
    There were many red faces in Berne.

    (Actually, the collider is near Geneva, but what the hell, Berne is the capital of Switzerland …)

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    Said the preacher, “Just listen and learn –
    You sinners are all gonna burn!
    Your transgression enrages
    The Good Lord – the wages
    Of sin will be paid in an urn.”

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    Like Fox, they’ve a great deal to learn
    About honest reporting. In turn,
    CNN sells us short
    When they fail to report
    That Hillary lost it to Bern.

  11. Brian Allgar says:

    The hooker was trying to earn
    Enough to get by. She would turn
    Any number of tricks
    With detestable dicks,
    Just as long as they’d money to burn.

  12. Brian Allgar says:

    The bimbo was feeling concern,
    And her stomach was starting to churn.
    He had eaten hot curry,
    Then came in a hurry –
    Her mouth felt the strong afterburn.

  13. Judith H. Block says:

    She made every inch of him burn
    But each ardent gesture, she’d spurn
    He had to concede
    He did not succeed
    She stamped his love pleas, “mark return”.

  14. Judith H. Block says:

    For fairness and right we all burn;
    The Country is our grave concern.
    Economy first;
    Injustice reversed!
    We know we can win, “Feel the Bern!” !

  15. Judith H. Block says:

    The tip of my nose got a burn
    Cause fashion was my first concern.
    My cute hat was fun,
    But no shield from the sun,
    So I made mistakes- hope I learn!

  16. Rich Diakun says:

    The lady’s libido didst burn
    and prompted the preacher’s concern
    When he mentioned sects,
    she thought he meant sex
    and disrobed and gave him a turn!

  17. Judith H. Block says:

    He ravished her, pacing the burn.
    His hot words were like sweet sauterne
    She was in a trance
    Though an online romance-
    He sent one more kiss, pressed return.

  18. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    Brian Allgar your Curry in a hurry
    a stroke of genius.

  19. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    Obamagate waiting its turn 
    to thrash his arse, full crash and burn 
    Jesse Ventura 
    spread strong Datura 
    conspiracy theory churn? 

    Katrina a fortunate turn? 
    B.P. spill, a ploy of concern?
    To clear south coast 
    create a land ghost 
    for corporate dividend churn 

    Datura – poison plant

  20. Bob Leggett says:

    The arsonist showed no concern
    When the courtroom had to adjourn
    He had lit the light
    To give the Judge a fright
    When his wig commenced to burn

  21. Bob Leggett says:

    While playing a classical nocturne
    My instrument started to burn
    I remained at my seat
    Till the piece was complete
    And the keyboard was done to a turn

  22. Brian Allgar says:

    The true whisky drinker must learn
    Only water from some Highland burn
    Should be kept in the vault
    Where you sample pure malt –
    But the water itself you should spurn.

  23. Jim says:

    At the beach a woman did turn,
    to prevent a painful sunburn.
    A distracted man tripped,
    his laughing wife quipped,
    “Strike three, owe me dinner at Bern’s.”

  24. Bob Dvorak says:

    The Tea P: a nash’nal concern;
    Any thought of a bargain, they spurn.
    Send them off to their room,
    Let them fidget and fume.
    If they fume enough maybe they’ll burn.

  25. At the conference lead by Bern
    It seems there was much concern
    “My tush is bare
    I need underwear
    This meeting will now adjourn”

  26. The nuns were so very stern
    They made sure that we all would learn
    If your skirt is too short
    Go to “Our Lady” court
    And pray that in hell you won’t burn

  27. Tim James says:

    Rhett Butler made many heads turn
    When he dealt sobbing Scarlett that burn.
    A true Southern gent
    Would have said as he went:
    “Mah dear, Ah just don’t give a durn.”

  28. The man said, wife you must learn
    To cook stew, for which I most yearn
    Her toddy she drank
    On the sofa she sank
    and the lamb stew did a slow burn

  29. Kirk Miller says:

    After sex, when I peed, it did burn.
    From the doctor I later did learn
    To cover my stump
    Whenever I hump.
    If I don’t, the disease could return.

  30. Kirk Miller says:

    Tennis pro had a serve that could burn
    So darn fast that I quickly did learn
    To my utter disgrace
    When he served me an ace,
    It was known as the point of no return.

  31. Ian Graham says:

    On a trip to Earth’s centre, Jules Verne
    Missed a signpost and took a wrong turn
    O’er the Styx into hell,
    Where a Scots imp said “Well,
    As it’s Burns Night, ye’ll burn by yon burn.”

  32. He aspires to beat good ‘ole Bern
    For a position he claims he will earn
    With enough hair spray
    He won’t need a toupee
    And get for what he does frantically yearn


    At the conference lead by Bern
    It seems there was much concern
    “My tush is bare
    So I need underwear
    This meeting will now promptly adjourn”


    He aspires to beat good ‘ole Bern
    For a position he says he will earn
    With enough hair spray
    He won’t need a toupee
    And win what he does frantically yearn

  35. Rich Diakun says:

    She walked out just wearing a fern
    and showed not the slightest concern
    She whistled sea shanties
    while wearing no panties
    All this from a spleef she did burn!

  36. Rich Diakun says:

    He worked really hard so he’d earn
    the stuff as a child he did yearn
    He’d hang with the boys
    and play with their toys
    His jealousy did a slow burn

  37. colonialist says:

    Och, let us go sit by the side of the burn,
    Ye’ve burning desire Burns poems to learn?
    Aye, the Wordsworth repeats
    If we take off our Keats –
    So Shelley be Browning himself to a turn?

  38. Tonight’s my rendezvous with my lover, Bern
    When we connect, our hormones just “churn”
    We’re very discreet
    When we meet
    And never run into his wife named Fern

  39. yt cai says:

    In bed last night I failed to turn
    For some reason hard to discern
    It turned out quite bad
    Due to my heating pad
    Now I’m sporting a new side burn

  40. Elyse Smith says:

    A lover should have concern
    That his mate should feel the burn
    For one cannot fudge
    A splendid nudge
    Nor the law of diminished return.

  41. The latest man for whom I yearn
    Is a driving instructor whose name is Bern
    We went to Beloit
    Instead of Detroit
    I think my Bern made a wrong turn

  42. Not A Duplicate

    Tonight’s my tryst with sexy Bern
    When we connect our hormones just churn
    We’re very discreet
    When we meet
    We must not run into his wife named Fern

  43. Dave Johnson says:

    A lesson he needed to learn:
    To know when to stop and discern.
    Pinocchio’s lust
    Was widely discussed –
    His woody was starting to burn.

  44. Dave Johnson says:

    When he had no money to burn,
    His advances she just loved to spurn.
    But that was before
    His Powerball score;
    Those tables are fun when they turn…

  45. yt cai says:

    Mike’s toupee was starting to turn
    As he went down without a concern
    It came without warning
    The very next morning
    June’s very bad case of rug-burn

    So she went into the local tavern
    And asked the bartender Ahearn
    If he had a soft stool
    June felt quite the fool
    When Ahearn took a dump in an urn

  46. Brian Allgar says:

    Ooops! Another senior moment – too many syllables in line 2 of my first limerick. Here’s a corrected version. (Note to self: when did I last have a moment that WASN’T senior?)

    It might have caused Einstein to turn
    In his grave, that machine built by CERN
    Claiming “Faster than light!”,
    But the sums weren’t quite right –
    There were many red faces in Berne.

    (Actually, the collider is near Geneva, but what the hell, Berne is the capital of Switzerland …)

  47. Dave Johnson says:

    The committee has managed to learn
    Almost nothing for months in return.
    This must be the way
    A pinhead named Trey
    Thinks taxpayer money should burn.

  48. Thomas Gorman says:

    Bill Maher was feeling the Bern
    Though Hillary didn’t squirm
    She stated her case
    In Congresses’ face
    Though the election may yet turn!
    (I hope that Phonetic use us acceptable ;)

  49. Marty McCullen says:

    So the devil will help you burn?
    That’s an end I don’t want to earn.
    Watch out, sexy ladies,
    Or you’ll be in Hades.
    Your offers I do have to spurn.

  50. Elisson says:

    “Is it time? Give those steaks one more turn –
    I sure as hell hate when they burn.”
    “Say hey, ‘Bobby Flay’!
    Whatchoo cooking today?
    Is it overdone? You never learn!”

  51. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Remember the book by Jules Verne?
    Does that not, in your memory, burn?
    For Ten Thousand Leagues
    Is a tale that intrigues
    Film producers to bring a return.

  52. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Henry James wanted money to earn.
    Wrote a book. Title made folks’ ears burn.
    First tried “Rape at the Seashore”
    But knew it could see more
    Returns named “The Screw of the Tern.”

  53. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Back in 64 A.D. we learn
    That Rome, set on fire, did burn
    Who started it? Nemo?
    Or Christians?! I scream oh!
    But ghosts say, “It’s not your concern.”

  54. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If suff’ring from painful heartburn
    A remedy here you should learn:
    An apple or cheese
    By itself if you please
    Eat and get some relief in return.

    (it’s true; an apple OR real cheese [not the plastic slices] will kill heartburn; this works best without adding other food or drink; e.g. no crackers or bread with the cheese)

  55. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Oh-oh. Mad, could you please change the last line from
    “And you’ll get some relief in return”
    “Eat and get some relief in return”

    (From MBK: Done.)

  56. The GOP’s “heavy artillery”
    Has been aiming for decades at Hillary.
    And as she advances,
    They’re taking no chances:
    They’re already building the pillory.

    But it’s funny: they’ve chosen to spurn
    FORTY YEARS’ WORTH of chances to learn
    How to beat Bernie Sanders…
    And that (in all candor)’s
    The reason I’m Feeling the Bern.

    (See? I got to the rhyme word eventually…)

  57. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Hey, Brian, you’re not the only one having senior moments… I just joined your club – see you at the old folks home. Scrap my Jules Verne one y’all! It’s 20,000 Leagues, not 10,000 (duh!) Let’s try her again:

    Remember the book by Jules Verne?
    Does that not, in your memory, burn?
    Twenty Thousand Leagues Under
    Was hardly a blunder
    Hey, Hollywood, when’s its return?

  58. Diane Groothuis says:

    A driver who took a wrong turn
    Didn’t have money to burn
    So he said “It suits me
    If you’ll do it for free
    Else this meeting will have to adjourn”

  59. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    She was not one her trainer should spurn,
    But he did, and she swore he would learn.
    So because of her ire,
    She lit him on fire,
    Then asked, “Are you feeling the burn?”

  60. Diane Groothuis says:

    A young student was trying to learn
    From a teacher whose lips made him burn
    And with her hocus pocus
    He just couldn’t focus
    Except on her most sexy stern.

  61. Lisi Nortman says:

    “My Darling, for you, my heart does yearn
    Inside my soul for you I burn
    I’m down on my knees
    So will you please
    Agree to file a joint return?”

  62. Rich Diakun says:

    He acted on As The World Turn
    with script writers who’d never learn
    that too many scenes
    of boinking Eileens
    would cause his prop chafing and burn

  63. Rich Diakun says:

    My hedges, I wish I could burn
    They grow like some psychotic fern
    I try hard to train them
    But now I disdain them
    Torching might help ’em to learn!

  64. Diane Groothuis says:

    By what I can just now discern
    Long ago Rome was starting to burn
    But Nero kept playing
    Though people were saying
    “It must be His Majesty’s turn”.

  65. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Okay, I’m applying for a spot in a senior home. That limerick with ‘Rome in 64 A.D., how did I come up with Nemo instead of Nero? (banging my head against wall) I know! Got my wires crossed with that misfit limerick involving 10,000 (duh! 20,000) Leagues. Okay, one last try…

    Back in 64 A.D. we learn
    That Rome, set on fire, did burn
    Was it Nero’s assault?
    Or were Christians at fault?
    All the ghosts say, “It’s not your concern!”

  66. David Reddekopp says:

    Corporations have money to burn
    Their employees are struggling to earn
    Just enough to survive
    As for me, I think I’ve
    Had enough. It makes my stomach churn.

  67. David Reddekopp says:

    You’re right, Suzanne, it did sound kind of fishy.

  68. Steve Clelland says:

    The old days I wish would return
    I’m thinking my iPad might burn
    For I’m typing too fast
    Will the battery last?
    Oh bring back ole carriage return!

  69. Allen Wilcox says:

    It was Hillary there for the burn.
    Then the members spoke up turn by turn
    The questions were rude,
    Full of GOP crude.
    What they meant was quite hard to discern.

    It was clear they had nothing to learn.
    The truth was of little concern.
    It was Hillary cool
    Freezing up fool by fool
    ‘Til all involved prayed they’d adjourn.

  70. Rich Diakun says:

    The stove gave his fingers a burn
    The preacher he only said “durn!”
    His wife made a fuss
    and said if he’d cuss
    his soul she would have grave concern

  71. Dave Johnson says:

    The candles continue to burn;
    She’s intent on fulfilling a yearn.
    But his focus instead
    Is SportsCenter, not bed;
    It looks like he might miss a turn.

  72. Rich Diakun says:

    While trying to rhyme the word “burn”
    without doing many folks’ “bern”
    He thought of a word
    a name for a bird
    and asked, “Should I give ‘tern’ a turn”?

  73. Rich Diakun says:

    The stranger, he came from New Bern
    in North Carolina, we’d learn
    He’d shout down the hall,
    “What’s happenin’ y’all?”
    But most folks they rudely would spurn

  74. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 236.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Road.