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Madeleine Begun Kane,
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HUMOROUS HOW-TO COLUMNS


Madeleine Begun Kane
 
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Welcome to the humorous how-to section of my site. For humor organized by subject matter, I hope you'll visit my humor sections about politics, the law, media, marriage and family, holidays, technology, feminism, money, cars, education, health, pets and animals, work, travel, my home town -- New York City, Dubya's Dayly Diary, and my Notables Weblog.

  • How To Disorganize Your Life

  • How To Give A Speech (Humorous How-To) "In a moment of weakness you agreed to give a speech. What are you in for? If you're lucky, it won't be any worse than this..."

  • Guide For The Opera Impaired "There will inevitably come a day when some misanthrope, posing as a pal, drags you to The Opera. Don't panic ... unless Richard Wagner composed the opera, in which case playing dead will help you match the mood of the music..."

  • How To Plan A Trip "A weekend trip is a splendid way to replenish your energy and deplete your bank account..."

  • Working Stiffed "Finding a new job can be a daunting challenge. But if you follow my simple 21-step plan, you'll soon be battling cranky alarm clocks, rush-hour traffic, and the living for the weekend daily grind..."

  • Hapless Home Buyer's Guide "The road to buying a house is paved with dwindling bank accounts, devious brokers, and home owners who (you hope) are desperate to sell. Yes, it's a challenge. But with the help of these easy to follow instructions, you can negotiate your way into unthinkable debt..."

  • De-Stress or Distress? "Are you stressed out? A quivering blob of nerves? Are your muscles lodged in a permanent clench? Here's what not to do..."

  • How To Visit An Art Museum "There are many good reasons to visit an art museum. Impressing a date. Vying for a slot in the cultural elite. Some people actually go because they appreciate art. If you're a novice art fan, this is how it's done:
    1. Your virgin museum visit should take place while you're out of town. That way, your displays of ignorance will be witnessed only by strangers..."

  • Contending With Time "Unless you live on another planet, there are never enough hours in the day. But if you use these efficiency techniques, you can win that battle with time:
    1. Always do at least two things at once. While showering, write a screenplay. While sorting laundry, invent a handy appliance for the home. While chatting on the phone with a dull acquaintance, take a nap..."

  • How To Refinance: A Harried Home-Owner's Survival Guide "Hear radio reports touting the lowest interest rates in recorded history. Find out everyone you've ever met just refinanced at what is surely the bottom of the market. Become convinced that rates will rise four points by tomorrow. Panic. Rip interest quotes out of the Sunday papers. Visits helpful sites like RefinanceForPeanuts.com, ReallyCheapBucks.com, RefinanceBeforeGreenspanChangesHisMind.com..."

  • Don't Call a Meeting "Is your PTA talking about launching an event? Is it too late for you to resign? If so, my sympathies...plus some tips to keep your sanity."

  • How To Become An Insomniac "Becoming an insomniac isn't as easy as it might appear. But with the help of these guidelines, dark circles and a cranky disposition will soon be yours..."

  • Valiant Guy's Guide To Valentine's Day "Attention guys -- it's time to get ready for Valentine's Day. After all, you don't want a repeat of last year, do you? I didn't think so..."

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