It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Choosing the winners was a big challenge because we had a record number of really good submissions. So I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and five Honorable Mentions (four for single verse limericks and one for multiverse limericks.)
Congratulations to Elaine Spall who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever, amusing verse:
A woman was fit to be tied.
Could not lose the weight though she tried.
Then she said “Better buy it,
This new “Alarm” diet,
A fridge that said “ACCESS DENIED.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Scott Crowder, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Catherine Palmer and Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats for their delightful limericks:
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A fellow was fit to be tied:
“How the food makers subtly misguide!
While the price has held steady
Per box of spaghetti,
There’s not as much noodle inside.”
A fellow was fit to be tied,
At his failure to be certified.
The doc looked at his brain,
Told the judge he was sane,
And the fellow was fit to be tried.
Phyllis Sterling Smith:
A fellow was fit to be tied
On hearing these words from his bride:
“If you’re planning to hang
With your old drunken gang
I’ve a rope I’ll be glad to provide.”
A man who was fit to be tied
Was mad at his beautiful bride.
She took out a saddle.
Then threatened a paddle
if he didn’t agree to a ride!
Patrice of the ManyCats:
A fellow was fit to be tied
Viewing pics that displayed his backside:
He was naked (big deal)
But bemoaned each huge meal,
For he clearly was less tall than wide.
But determined to locate a mate,
He conversed with a promising date
‘Til she saw his webpage,
Guessed his height, weight, and age
And refused further contact ~ cruel Fate.
Then inclined to decline dates and mope,
He was tempted to give up all hope.
Would all women pass? Yet
Fresh thoughts of his asset
Provided a way he could cope.
He posted, “Pull Over – Wide Load!
Sweet, snuggly, with gorgeous abode.
I’ll rock you each night,
It’ll be outta sight!
I’m a doctor.” (His stethoscope showed.)
He sat back as responses flowed in,
Then he read hers: aah, Angel of Sin.
She was smart, lovely, built.
His libido went Tilt!
Now they bare it all nightly, and grin.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. As I said, there were so many good ones, narrowing them down to the best limericks was quite a challenge.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.