Nameless Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal with a very long name…


A guy with a very long name…

Here’s mine:

Nameless Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal with a very long name
Desired celebrity fame.
Oh to have a huge halo
Like Oprah and J.Lo —
And be crowned a one-moniker dame.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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57 Responses to “Nameless Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Matty says:

    A gal with a very long name
    had a man who was not very tame
    he cheated and lied
    til the day that he died
    now she’s one little heartbroken dame

  2. A girl with a very long name
    was fed up with spelling the same
    so she married a Smith
    who took the pith
    all the time saying “What was your name?”
    A girl with a very long name
    declaimed “It’s Dad that I blame
    He married my Mum
    whose name, Sugar Plum,
    was much nicer. Oh, what a shame.”
    A bloke with a very long name
    a financial success, just the same,
    by the time he had signed
    the chap he’d maligned
    cried off from the counterclaim

  3. Hansi says:

    A gal with a very long name
    Had no morals, let alone shame.
    She pleased all the boys
    Treating them like toys
    But all the guys thought, “Oh…What a dame”.

  4. A gal with a very long name
    Seemed oh so sweet, but was really a pain
    Despite all her charm
    She had a month that only did harm
    Now she’ driving me nuts, and more than slightly insane.

  5. lolamouse says:

    A gal with a very long name
    Became wed to a man with the same
    And when they had a kid
    Add a hyphen they did
    Now his name is a joke–what a shame!

  6. Steve Bumgarner says:

    A gal with a very long name
    Ran ‘to trouble the day she came
    through Ellis Island –
    clerk gave a cry and
    lopped off letters to make it more tame.

  7. A gal with a very long name
    Invented that stuff Aspartame
    Even though it was sweet
    And made food good to eat,
    It was too hard to spell, what a shame!

  8. Linkmeister says:

    A girl with a very long name
    Had aspirations for Hollywood fame
    So she moved to LA
    Called herself Norma Rae
    And worked to get into the game.

  9. Read My Name Neaklace

    A gal with a very long name
    wore it on her neaklace chain
    to teach all who spelled wrong
    that weird name oh-so-long
    without causing her vocals to strain.

  10. Josette says:

    A gal with a very long name
    Desired one that was really quite tame
    So the law she did seek
    To give her name a slight tweek
    And now she’s know as plain Jane

  11. Neal P says:

    A gal with a very long name
    was wooed by a guy much the same
    They’re now man and wife (and
    they both use a hyphen)
    But their license won’t fit in the frame

  12. scott says:

    A guy with a very long name,
    was playing a dangerous game,
    with the West and Mossad,
    may soon set the Mid-East aflame.

  13. Steve Vitoff says:

    A gal with a very long name
    On grocery lines garnered great fame
    Shoppers’ ice cream would melt
    On the conveyor belt
    Credit card signing time was to blame

  14. Victoria says:

    A gal with a very long name
    said “Tattoo it, or you’ll lose your claim.”
    Then she’d snicker and snort–
    her guy’s thingy was short.
    What a truly despicable dame.

  15. Versebender says:

    A variation on the preceding entry…great minds think alike?

    A guy with a very long name
    Made quite a remarkable claim
    I’ve a tattoo concealed
    That is only revealed
    When ladies consent to inflame

  16. LBTL says:

    This is nice and looks like fun :)
    You’re My Reason

  17. JamieDedes says:

    Clever. Thanks as always for the chuckles. You are so very good at this…

  18. Olivia says:

    This is clever! You do it so well Maddy!
    Thank you again for making me laugh.. That girl with a long name is going places now!

    Sunday Hugs xx

  19. earlybird says:

    A gal with a very long name
    has recently risen to ‘Dame’.
    She’s rather a swank
    now she’s moved up in rank
    and her name is no longer the same.

  20. Joel Blumenthal says:

    (written before I read yours I swear!)

    A gal with a very long name
    Yearned for professional pop singing fame
    But she’s out of luck
    ‘cause she sounds like a duck
    She’s just one unfortunate dame.

  21. madkane says:

    What a wonderful batch of limericks so far. I was worried that things would be slow because of Passover, Palm Sunday, and Tax Day. But lots of good limericks have been flying in. Call me relieved. :)

    Please keep them coming. And if you’re on Facebook, please cross-post them on my Facebook post.


  22. Sally Franz says:

    A man with a very long name,
    John Jacob Jingleheimer one in the same,
    had lost his serenity,
    due to stolen identity,
    the internet was clearly to be blamed.

  23. Mama Zen says:

    Yep, that’s how you know that you’re famous!

  24. scott says:

    A guy with a very long name,
    had another real long claim to fame.
    His other long thing, you see,
    was his memory.
    I know what you thought shame, shame, shame!

  25. A guy with a very long name
    felt compelled to have to explain:
    “It was my father’s last wish
    that I’m named after fish.”
    said Striped Largemouth Bass McLane.

  26. dustus says:

    A guy with a really long name
    Cannot tell what he just exclaimed
    He kept driving me crazy
    Nearly killed an old lady
    Cab smells like dog crap in rain

  27. Lee Magilow says:

    A man with a very long name,
    Humanity’s good was his game.
    He said, “First cause no harm”
    I must sound the alarm,
    We risk putting this gift to the flame.

  28. Granny Smith says:

    A guy with a very long name
    Could not ever spell it the same.
    “I know that it’s sloppy
    But I just hit COPY
    Then PASTE, thus avoiding the shame.”

  29. Teri C says:

    I just found this fun page Mad kane and wanted to give it a try-my first. It was fun.

    A gal with a very long name
    With letters as long as a train
    It starts with a B
    And ends with a Z
    Just writing it is such a strain

  30. Bodhirose says:

    A gal with a very long name
    Wished for a shorter one
    Like Ann or Patty Jane
    Instead she was saddled
    With a moniker so padded
    Even telephone solicitors were addled!

  31. Mr. Walker says:

    A fellow with a very long name
    took a wife who would share his shame.
    Decided the couple:
    Get naked, then couple,
    To inflict on their children the same.

  32. fiveloaf says:

    always bring a smile to my face my friend.. here’s my potluck.. springtide.

  33. Tilly Bud says:

    A guy with a very long name
    Had quite a strange claim to fame
    He took so long to write it
    His arm had a slight fit
    And those stood nearby he did maim.

    I love Neal P’s last line.

  34. Kay Salady says:

    A guy with a very long name
    Began to drive me insane
    So I called the police
    And they sent out his niece
    Officer Puthertoshame
    Oh, that was fun! Thanks so much!

  35. Granny Smith says:

    A gal with a very long name
    Entered Mad Kane’s limerick game.
    But the gal was a lemming
    Final ENlng not EMing
    Many funny, which leaves me in paim.

  36. Neal P says:

    (a non-compliant entry …)
    A gal with a very long name
    liked to play the bureaucrats’ game
    at school and in banks
    when she filled in the blanks
    shejammeditalltogether like this

  37. Johanna Richmond says:

    A gal with a very long name
    Had one quirk when she stoked a man’s flame:
    Full names she desired
    So lovers required
    Phonetical flair when they came.

  38. brian says:

    ha. nice limerick mad kane…actually a one moniker name might not be bad…

  39. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your kind words and fun limericks. Please keep them coming. You have plenty of time before the next Limerick of the Week is picked on Sunday. :)

  40. jinksy says:

    A gal with a very long name
    said “This is no kind a of game!
    When I fill in a form
    it’s always the norm
    that I run out of space once again!

  41. Kim Nelson says:

    I always get a kick out of your work, Mad. You really do bring laughter to the world, daily. That, my friend, is a gift.

  42. Nicole says:

    Seriously, you have a gift. Your pith and verve are without equal.

  43. Laurie Kolp says:

    A guy with a very long name
    Dreaded syllable-counting games.
    He’d clap for so long,
    Others joined in song;
    Drums they’d play with his name. Such shame!

  44. Granny Smith says:

    A guy with a very long name
    Had his pastor father to blame
    Who found as a balm
    The Twenty-third Psalm
    Which the guy had to wear to his shame.

  45. A gal with a very long name
    Met a guy with a name quite the same
    Their kid’s name’s a prize
    (they should not hyphenize)
    Ann McDoughliness-Hoofendersdame

  46. Dr. Goose says:

    A gal with a very long name
    Said: “It’s dimming the passionate flame!
    When I shout ‘Who’s your mama?’
    My lover says ‘um, ah,’
    Then silence, both awkward and lame.”

  47. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your kind comments and fun limericks. Please keep those limericks coming. I don’t pick Limerick of the Week until Sunday, so you still have two days to send in more delightful verse.

  48. Veralynne Pepper says:

    A guy with a very long name
    Liked to hear it whenever he came
    His gal would squeak “Rum…”
    Whenever she’d come
    “…plestilskin” was too much to tame.

  49. Granny Smith says:

    A guy with a very long name
    Bought a very old parrot, too tame.
    When the guy tried to teach
    It his name, it would screech,
    “I’ve much better lines to declaim!”

  50. Er, this is pretty naughty. But I couldn’t think of anything not naughty, so here you go:

    A girl with a very long name
    Said, “Change me to hussy from dame
    Show me twelve inches long
    To make me drop my thong
    Then I’ll give you all oral acclaim.”

  51. Henry Coe says:

    A gal with a very long name
    picked a husband for reasons so lame
    he had the last name Du jour
    So for her quite the lure
    that her signature should be quite so tame.

  52. madkane says:

    Thanks again everyone for your delightful limericks. I’ve very much enjoyed them.

    This week’s contest is officially over and a new one has begun. You can find out who won this week’s Limerick of the Week here.

    As for my new Limerick-Off Challenge, I’ve posted it here: Argumentative Limerick.

    Thanks again!

  53. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    DANG it, Mad, I missed your deadline :(( Well, as I wrote this specifically for your Challenge, I’m posting it anyway…this’ll teach me to cut it so close in the future!!

    A guy with a very long name
    Considered his parents to blame.
    Had a goal nonetheless,
    Best revenge is – success;
    He went on to great fortune and fame.

    Then sparks flew with a dame with the same
    Legacy: last name double his name!
    Such a shame ’twas the source
    Of a drawn-out divorce:
    Tamed love’s flame to a lame, claim-filled game.

    Their same-surname child had an aim,
    To the Catholic church assigned blame;
    Diana Elisa
    Olvida de Visa
    Etcetera…who later became

    A person who longed for the terse,
    Sought her earlier self in reverse;
    Even chose to cavort
    With a lover quite short,
    Now they’re married ~ for better (or worse).

  54. madkane says:

    Patrice, while late posts can’t be considered for Limerick of the Week, fresh limericks are welcome at any time. :)