Archive for the ‘Walking Humor’ Category

Wexting? How Pedestrian! (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 14th, 2014

Wexting? How Pedestrian! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A habit that many find vexing
Is called “wexting.” I think it’s perplexing
To text while you walk.
If you wext, then I’ll balk
At sharing a path you’re annexing.

Cold and Bothered (Quatrain)

Tuesday, January 7th, 2014

Cold and Bothered (Quatrain)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I live in a town where it’s pleasant to stroll.
We do most of our errands on foot.
But it’s frightfully cold. “Let’s stay home,” I cajole.
Forget milk! Let’s be smart and stay put.

Limerick Rut

Thursday, December 27th, 2012

Limerick Rut
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was stuck in a rut.
She’d tripped, falling down on her butt.
She was wedged in so tight,
She might be there all night.
Seems its risky to text while you strut.

Black Eye (Limerick)

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

Black Eye (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who had a black eye
Was stopped on the street and asked why.
When her mate said, “She fell,”
They thought “husband from hell.”
His story they just wouldn’t buy.

But she really did fall on her face.
(She’d been rushing, as if in a race.)
So she told them, “Please stop.
“I do NOT need a cop.
“It’s my pace that’s at fault. He’s an ace.”

Author’s Note: I case anyone’s wondering, this really happened to me a couple of week’s ago. Mark and I were in Manhattan, on the way to see The Judy Show: My Life as a Sitcom with Judy Gold. We were running late, and I was walking so fast, you could call it running.

I tripped, fell down really hard, and two week’s later my face is still recovering. But at least I no scare longer people … or make them think I’m an abused spouse.

And no, we never got to see that show. But we did have a great Indian meal before I ruined our night by taking that stupid spill.

UPDATE: I really must thank the owners and management of Angelo And Maxie’s, a well-respected seafood and steak restaurant that’s a couple of doors away from where I fell. They could not have been nicer and more helpful, quickly giving me tons of ice, towels, bandages and a first aid kit. They even let me take over their ladies room for at least twenty minutes. I’m looking forward to actually dining there in the near future.

Trendy Men, Heal Thyselves! (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 18th, 2011

For those of you who visit this blog to keep up with trends, here’s the latest: High heels for men.

Trendy Men, Heal Thyselves! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

High heels worn by men on the rise?
I’m warning you guys, that ain’t wise.
It’s painful, unhealthy—
Makes foot doctors wealthy.
Spike this trend ere it reaches new highs.

A Limerick About Nothing

Thursday, May 5th, 2011

I just found out that this week (May 1 through May 7) is National Pet Week. So I thought I’d celebrate with a canine limerick:

A Limerick About Nothing
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who owned a pet dog
Took him out for a walk in the fog.
Soon the man and his hound
Were back home safe and sound,
Where he wrote up their walk on his blog.

UPDATE: Happy “Walking The Dog Day.” (February 22)

Limerick Ode To a Vigorous Old Lady

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

Limerick Ode To A Vigorous Old Lady
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An old grandma with spring in her walk
Moved so quickly that people would gawk.
When asked if a gym
Was the source of her vim
She said, “No — Jim, Kim, Henry and Hawk.”

(Posted at this spring prompt and at Poetic Asides’ spring prompt.)

UPDATE: July 23 is Gorgeous Grandma Day.

A Season For Limericks (Poetry Prompt)

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as its first line:

There’s a hint of sweet spring in the air.

Here’s mine:

A Season For Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a hint of sweet spring in the air,
And I’m strolling outside, both arms bare.
Yes, I know it can’t last.
Winter surely will blast
One more storm, but right now I don’t care.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, you’re welcome to join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Shoo, Heels!

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

I’m short. Five-foot-zero, to be specific. But I never wear heels. Okay, I do have one pair of special-occasion shoes with a one-inch heel. Does that even count?

I forswore high heels way back in my early twenties. Why? Isn’t it obvious? Because they hurt! Besides, even if I braved three-inch heels, I’d still be really short. Plus I’ve never thought teetering was all that sexy.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Shoo, Heels!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m short, but wear flats — never heels.
Cuz they hurt. Gals, you know how it feels.
So my word to height seekers:
Just give me some sneakers,
Or flip flops, or better yet — wheels.

Pedestrian Plea

Wednesday, May 20th, 2009

Pedestrian Plea (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a fellow named Mike,
Who was bored while out riding his bike.
So he spoke on his cell,
Did some texting, then fell.
Multitaskers, oh please take a hike.

Update: I’ve just found out that November 17th Is “National Take A Hike Day.” Something tells me, it may be meant to celebrate something a bit different.

Pedestrian Poems (Limerick and Haiku Prompt)

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is walking. First, my limerick:

Ode To A New York City Walk Signal
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oh WALK light, you change way too fast.
Your pedestrian green doesn’t last.
You force me to run
Cross the street, which ain’t fun.
So thanks for this cumbersome cast.

And now, my walking-related haiku:

Solitary stroll
To escape the telephone.
Cell phone outsmarts me.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about walking. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.

(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)

NOTE: My Ode To A New York City Walk Signal limerick is an apostrophe.  And no, I’m not referring to a punctuation mark.  Miss Rumphius tells us that an “apostrophe is a poem which directly addresses a person or thing that is generally absent.” So I thought I’d address one to a walk signal that’s tormented my husband and me for years.

Weathering The Weather (Haiku)

Saturday, February 23rd, 2008

Wind gust assaults me
As I hurry home on foot.
Weatherman blew it.

(Inspired by this weather related poetry prompt, over at Read Write. And speaking of prompts, I’ve posted a new prompt whose theme is time. I hope you’ll give it a try.)

Ode To Ambling

Tuesday, December 19th, 2006

Ode To Ambling
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Deserting my day-to-day scramble
When the weather is nice, I will amble,
Just taking my time
While I’m still in my prime,
My terminus strictly a gamble.