Posts Tagged ‘New York City Verse’

Wintry Woes (Limerick)

Monday, February 2nd, 2015

Wintry Woes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I so wish all these snow storms would wane.
I’d prefer their replacement with rain–
Even better, with drizzle–
A limited mizzle.
Cuz this winter has gone down the drain.

Limerick Ode To Our Pothole

Monday, June 23rd, 2014

Limerick Ode To Our Pothole
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I reported a pothole last week,
And the city did give it a tweak.
Have they fixed it? You’re joking,
Or possibly toking.
Adding cones seems to be their technique.

This dangerously deep pothole is less than a block from our house. Mark just snapped this pic of it:

pothole2

Brooklyn’s Nutty Penis Contest (Limerick)

Thursday, June 19th, 2014

I can’t possibly resist writing about Brooklyn’s Smallest Penis Contest.

Brooklyn’s Nutty Penis Contest (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A contest for tiniest dick
Might strike you as utterly sick.
But “reverse chic” is “in,”
So a dick, short and thin,
By that measure might just do the trick.

Cold and Bothered (Quatrain)

Tuesday, January 7th, 2014

Cold and Bothered (Quatrain)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I live in a town where it’s pleasant to stroll.
We do most of our errands on foot.
But it’s frightfully cold. “Let’s stay home,” I cajole.
Forget milk! Let’s be smart and stay put.

Farewell To May (Limerick)

Friday, June 1st, 2012

May is usually a beautiful month here in New York City. But not this year!

Farewell To May (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s June 1st, which means farewell to May,
And good riddance — poor weather each day:
Way too hot, way too cold,
Way too rainy, all told.
Was May ever moderate? Nay!

Black Eye (Limerick)

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

Black Eye (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who had a black eye
Was stopped on the street and asked why.
When her mate said, “She fell,”
They thought “husband from hell.”
His story they just wouldn’t buy.

But she really did fall on her face.
(She’d been rushing, as if in a race.)
So she told them, “Please stop.
“I do NOT need a cop.
“It’s my pace that’s at fault. He’s an ace.”

Author’s Note: I case anyone’s wondering, this really happened to me a couple of week’s ago. Mark and I were in Manhattan, on the way to see The Judy Show: My Life as a Sitcom with Judy Gold. We were running late, and I was walking so fast, you could call it running.

I tripped, fell down really hard, and two week’s later my face is still recovering. But at least I no scare longer people … or make them think I’m an abused spouse.

And no, we never got to see that show. But we did have a great Indian meal before I ruined our night by taking that stupid spill.

UPDATE: I really must thank the owners and management of Angelo And Maxie’s, a well-respected seafood and steak restaurant that’s a couple of doors away from where I fell. They could not have been nicer and more helpful, quickly giving me tons of ice, towels, bandages and a first aid kit. They even let me take over their ladies room for at least twenty minutes. I’m looking forward to actually dining there in the near future.

Limerick Ode To The New Yorker Festival

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

The New Yorker Festival is holding a limerick contest, and the winner gets a batch of Festival tickets for two. Here’s my entry:

Limerick Ode To The New Yorker Festival
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The New Yorker is hosting a fête —
A must-see for the erudite set.
Famous people galore
Shall be speaking full-bore,
And no intellect’s need goes unmet.

Heated Limerick

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

I don’t mean to bitch (okay, maybe I do) but it’s hot as hell here in New York. And weather forecasters are saying it will hit 100 degrees tomorrow.

But hey … there’s no global warming, right?

Heated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

One-hundred degrees? I may swoon.
Yes, I’m singing a very hot tune.
And I’m down in the mouth
Cuz this isn’t the south,
But Bayside, New York — early June.

Dear Emily Dickinson, Please Forgive Me

Wednesday, April 6th, 2011

As part of its National Poetry Month and Poem In Your Pocket Day “Envelope Project” celebrations, New York City is running an Emily Dickinson related poetry contest. Basically, it involves writing your own poems using Dickinson first lines.

Although I didn’t enter the contest (I wasn’t thrilled with its reprint permission form) I chose four Emily Dickinson first lines and wrote four short, whimsical, New York City-inspired poems. Here they are, with Dickinson’s words noted in italics:

I shall keep singing though I’m bad,
and those who hear me shout, “Egad!”
You’ll never see me on Broadway,
unless you mean my street display.

*****

The Cricket sang.
My sleep is done.
I’d sooner hear an engine run.

*****

I started Early–Took my Dog
unleashed — don’t fret —
Just franks and grog.

*****

A Day! Help! Help! Another Day!
I wish sometimes they’d go away.
I much prefer the dark of night
So daylight please, go fly a kite.

*****

Squirrel Limerick (Tanka Too)

Wednesday, March 30th, 2011

From time to time, sundry animals (squirrels, raccoons) find our New York City home alluring. While these incidents provide great fodder for poetry and prose, I could live without them. If only…

Our latest animal invasion involves a stubborn squirrel who has taken up residence in an upstairs window AC — the AC that cools my tiny writing-room. Consequently, Mrs. Squirrel (I fear it’s a she) has become a constant companion.

The good news is that our squirrel nuisance has given birth to two poems — a limerick and a tanka. Both poems were also inspired by Big Tent’s prompt to write about being scared of an animal. (I’m more annoyed than scared, but close enough.)

The limerick pretty much wrote itself, but the tanka was a bigger challenge. Why? Because I felt compelled to use the three words (loud, persuasive, riches) dictated by today’s Three Word Wednesday prompt.

First, my limerick:

Dear Squirrel
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Squatter-squirrel, please scat — go away.
This is my house — no wildlife! Okay?
And stop building that nest
In my AC, you pest!
It isn’t a squirrel chalet.

And now my tanka:

Loud screams and clamor
unpersuasive to squirrel,
planting nest riches
under my window AC,
her womb, I fear, rich with life.

(Also posted at I Saw Sunday and Write A Letter Wednesday, which asks for letters to a pet. Once again … close enough.)

Author’s Note: You can find more of my animal humor here and my squirrel humor and verse here.

UPDATE: Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day, January 21st!

New York Haiku, Legal Haiku, And Tanka Too

Friday, March 25th, 2011

Excited tourists
stop and stare, awed by Times Square —
forget they have feet.

*****

Sleepless, hollow eyes
gaze at legal opinions,
but see student loans.

*****

Windy documents
written to persuade judges —
endless legal briefs.

*****

Libraries, once hushed,
quiet playgrounds of the mind,
kept calm and silent
by strict ground rules, now drown thought
in playground cacophony.

*****

(Thanks for these four prompts: New York, hollow, paradox, and hush. Posted at Monday Memories.)

Update: April 21st is Thank You For Libraries Day.

Snow Job (A Limerick Duet)

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

Who needs to join a gym when you own a home in New York and experience … pardon my French … winter! Cardio? Check. Muscle building? Check. Seriously, there’s nothing quite like lifting a snow-packed shovel way over my head in my quest for a place to dump the damn stuff. I’m talking mountains of snow, some of it still lingering from December.

That brings me to my wintry mix of limericks:

I Need A Landlord, STAT
By Madeleine Begun Kane

While owning a home can be nice,
It isn’t all sugar and spice:
After snow and ice falls
There’s no landlord for calls
About shov’ling. That’s part of the price.

Lamentable Weather
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I know that it sounds like I’m wailing,
But it’s thund’ring and lightening and hailing.
It was snowing all day.
Now an ice storm? Okay,
It’s official. Can’t take it. I’m bailing.

Who Needs A Door, Anyway?

Tuesday, December 28th, 2010

Mark and I are looking forward to the next heavy rain storm, since we don’t dare hope for a multi-day thaw. And until one or the other happens here in New York City, we won’t be able to use our back door (which opens out) or get into our yard.

My two-verse limerick explains all:

Who Needs A Door, Anyway?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Can’t exit our house from the back,
Cuz the door’s blocked by snowdrifts, alack!
We would shovel it free
If we could, but you see
We’ve no route to that snow we can track.

For the trail to that door’s through the yard.
And clearing that path’s more than hard.
For the yard gate is blocked
From inside, as if locked
By still more snow. Our entry is barred.

Secrets Of The Trade – Off-Broadway Play Review In Verse

Friday, August 20th, 2010

Last night hubby Mark and I had a wonderful theater experience. We saw Secrets of the Trade, starring Noah Robbins, Mark Nelson, Amy Aquino, John Glover, and Bill Brochtrup (whom you may recognize as “Gay John” from NYPD Blue.

The play, written by Jonathan Tolins and directed by Matt Shakman, centers around Andy Lipman. Who’s Andy Lipman? He’s a fictional (and yet somehow familiar) ambitious, Long Island kid who dreams of a career on Broadway and hopes to be helped by Martin Kerner, a theater legend whom he idolizes. I enjoyed it so much, that I felt compelled to review it in verse:

Saw Secrets of the Trade last night.
The play was great to our delight.
With cast so fine and script superb,
I had to pen this glowing blurb.

The playwright Tolins is new to me.
He made us giggle gleefully.
And Noah Robbins — he’s the star.
A mere nineteen and bound to go far.

The rest of the cast is just as strong.
I’d name them, but this poem’s too long.
So get yourself to Off-Broadway,
And see this fun, outstanding play.

The Tenor Of Our Anniversary

Saturday, June 5th, 2010

My husband Mark and I had a wonderful time celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary on Friday, June 4th in Manhattan. We saw a Broadway play — Ken Ludwig’s hilarious Lend Me A Tenor, which was directed by Stanley Tucci. (There’s more about the play in my two-verse limerick.) We also dined at Nocello and enjoyed attempting to dance the rumba at the Marriott Marquis’ Broadway Lounge.

And now, my limerick:

The Tenor Of Our Anniversary
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Hubby Mark and I partied last night.
(It’s been thirty-two years of delight.)
Saw a great Broadway play.
What a heavenly way
To celebrate marriage just right!

Shaloub and LaPaglia star.
(Both are Tony’s — you know who they are.)
Justin Bartha stars too.
We kept laughing on cue
At Lend Me A Tenor. Har, har!

Limerick Ode To Kathleen Madigan

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

Saturday night hubby Mark and I went to see Kathleen Madigan perform in New York City’s Gramercy Theatre. It was actually one of two performances that were taped for Madigan’s upcoming DVD.

Kathleen Madigan’s act was hilarious, and her special guest, Lewis Black, was his usual angry/funny self.

Limerick Ode To Kathleen Madigan
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a gal with the comedy gene:
Surname Madigan, first name Kathleen.
I laughed the full hour.
Not once did I glower.
My fav’rite? Her Oprah routine.

Pie-ku Haiku Contest

Saturday, October 25th, 2008

Here’s something fun for food-loving poets: TimeOut New York is having a pie-ku haiku contest. Here’s the one I submitted:  

A freshly baked pie:
Tasty dessert and fragrant
Co-op buyer bait.

Spring In New York (Haiku)

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008

Three haiku to “celebrate” an unseasonably cold first day of spring:

Calendar says spring,
But the weather disagrees.
Hope they work it out.

New York guys and gals
Greet springtime in their shirtsleeves
While winter mocks them. 

Spring shyly appears,
Taps winter on the shoulder,
Vows to try again.

(Inspired by One Single Impression’s spring prompt. And speaking of prompts, there’s still plenty of time to participate in my latest poetry prompt. How do you participate? Just write a haiku or limerick about poetry or writing and use Mr. Linky to post your themed link.)