Posts Tagged ‘Squirrel Humor’

More Squirrel Adventures (Limerick and More)

Thursday, August 18th, 2011

In late March I wrote some verse about our squirrel problem. More specifically, a squirrel that likes snoozing in my upstairs window sill under the AC.

As you can tell from my tanka and limerick, the brazen squirrel refused to be scared off. Sure, it would leave for a while. But just when I thought my squirrel was gone for good, there she was again in my window sill, kept outside only by a thin piece of plexiglass.

Well, guess who had babies:

The Squirrel That Likes To Sleep Next To My Upstairs Window AC Gave Birth To 5 Squirrel Pups In My Window Sill

Methinks it’s time for another squirrely limerick:

Squirrely Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A squirrel gave birth on my sill—
Near my window AC unit’s grill.
Each miniscule pup
(Five in all — two floors up)
Born an inch from my nose — chilling thrill.

Thanks to hubby Mark for snapping that photo.

UPDATE: Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day, January 21st!

Squirrel Limerick (Tanka Too)

Wednesday, March 30th, 2011

From time to time, sundry animals (squirrels, raccoons) find our New York City home alluring. While these incidents provide great fodder for poetry and prose, I could live without them. If only…

Our latest animal invasion involves a stubborn squirrel who has taken up residence in an upstairs window AC — the AC that cools my tiny writing-room. Consequently, Mrs. Squirrel (I fear it’s a she) has become a constant companion.

The good news is that our squirrel nuisance has given birth to two poems — a limerick and a tanka. Both poems were also inspired by Big Tent’s prompt to write about being scared of an animal. (I’m more annoyed than scared, but close enough.)

The limerick pretty much wrote itself, but the tanka was a bigger challenge. Why? Because I felt compelled to use the three words (loud, persuasive, riches) dictated by today’s Three Word Wednesday prompt.

First, my limerick:

Dear Squirrel
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Squatter-squirrel, please scat — go away.
This is my house — no wildlife! Okay?
And stop building that nest
In my AC, you pest!
It isn’t a squirrel chalet.

And now my tanka:

Loud screams and clamor
unpersuasive to squirrel,
planting nest riches
under my window AC,
her womb, I fear, rich with life.

(Also posted at I Saw Sunday and Write A Letter Wednesday, which asks for letters to a pet. Once again … close enough.)

Author’s Note: You can find more of my animal humor here and my squirrel humor and verse here.

UPDATE: Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day, January 21st!

Ode To A Greedy Squirrel

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

Ode To A Greedy Squirrel
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A squirrel who wanted some food
Did something I’d call rather rude:
He squeezed into a cage,
Ate the bird feed — not sage.
Now his tummy’s too fat to extrude.

Note: This limerick is based on a British news story about a greedy squirrel that squeezed through the bars of a “squirrel-proof” bird feeder and “gorged on so many nuts it could not squeeze back out through the bars.” The squirrel remained trapped inside, until an RSPCA Inspector used a crow-bar and grasper to widen the gap between two of the bars. 

(You can find more of my pet and animal humor here and you’ll find more animal related poetry here.)

UPDATE: Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day, January 21st!

A Squirrely Lesson

Thursday, October 26th, 2006

Being a feminist, even a moderate feminist like me, can make it tough to dodge duties unsuited to the squeamish. In my case, squirrel removal.

Like most people, I prefer my squirrels outdoors. So I wasn’t exactly pleased when a squirrel decided to invade my turf. One morning last winter, when I was barely awake and shuffling down our basement stairs, something with a bushy tail flashed past me, mere inches from my toes. So I ask you, what’s a feminist to do? Yell hysterically? Scream for help? Well, … yes. I also scrambled up the steps, slammed the door, and told myself the squirrel would find its own way out.

For the next few hours I wondered what my squirrel was up to. I even tried to talk myself into marching downstairs and facing him down. Or creeping downstairs and checking things out. Or opening the cellar door just a crack, peering down the steps, and shutting the door fast before the squirrel became suspicious.

What kind of feminist was I, I asked myself, as I paced a floor above the intruder. Surely Gloria Steinem would stand her ground against a tiny rodent. Thank goodness I wasn’t famous enough to be a Rush Limbaugh target. “Femi-Nazi hypocritical wimp Madeleine Begun Kane is ascared of a wee little squirrel,” he’d surely say if he knew I existed. … (A Squirrely Lesson is continued here.)

UPDATE: Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day, January 21st!

UPDATE: How To Get Rid Of Squirrels