Posts Tagged ‘Greed Humor’

Use Your Noodles, Guys! (Limerick)

Thursday, April 2nd, 2015

Use Your Noodles, Guys! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow with oodles of cash
Met a slut at a dog-lovers bash.
She’d borrowed a poodle.
Her target? His boodle.
Their canoodling was pricey and rash.

Trick-Or-Treating Goes Green? (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 29th, 2014

Here’s a creepy Halloween-related survey:

More than half (53%) of parents of trick-or-treaters say their children between the ages of 4 and 10 would prefer cash over candy or even toys, according to a survey of 1,747 parents who celebrated Halloween carried out by coupon- and discount-code website Vouchercloud.net.

Trick-Or-Treating Goes Green? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To you kids who want Halloween cash,
And not candy, your hopes I must dash.
If you ask me for money
Dear girly or sonny,
I’ll double the other kid’s stash.

Limerick Rap (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, September 22nd, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal in an elegant wrap…*

or

An innocent man took the rap…*

or

A fellow was trying to wrap (or rap)…*

or

A woman was eating a wrap…*

or

The director announced “That’s a wrap…”*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Wrap
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal in an elegant wrap
Was dating a wealthy old sap.
She bed and misled him,
While scheming to wed him,
And dissolve her large bank account gap.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Bling Lust (Limerick)

Thursday, August 29th, 2013

Bling Lust (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who wanted some bling
Met a guy in a criminal ring.
She figured her man
Would end up in the can.
But she’d wring what she could from her fling.

Limerick Ode To Mourn For Your Money Day

Monday, June 10th, 2013

Happy Mourn For Your Money Day! (June 10th) Okay, perhaps happy isn’t quite the right word for it.

Limerick Ode To Mourn For Your Money Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oh, woe to the poor middle class!
Our money has vanished, alas.
Its value each day
Seems to shrink, as we pay
For the sins of the greedy top brass.

Lingerie Lust (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 27th, 2012

You know it’s the Christmas season, when you read about a Black Friday brawl breaking out over panties at Victoria’s Secret. This mall melee at the Roseville Galleria Mall in California was all captured on video.

Lingerie Lust (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In their lust for a haul at the mall,
Pantie shoppers broke into a brawl.
To put it quite briefly
The reasons are chiefly
Their vainness and greed — a clothes call.

While we’re on the subject of undie shopping at Victoria’s Secret, Secret Shopper is an old humor column about shopping for panties with my late mother. (It was her favorite column featuring her antics.)

Greedy Acrostic Limerick

Wednesday, September 14th, 2011

My addiction to writing acrostic limericks continues apace:

Greedy Acrostic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gorging gleefully all through his meal,
Ramming relish on meatloaf with zeal,
Energetically, endlessly,
Eating tremendously —
Done? Not so long as there’s veal.

Limerick Ode To Greed

Monday, December 27th, 2010

As I’ve mentioned previously, my pal Patrick McGuire runs a weekly Unfinished Limerick Contest. The latest finished oddly, as explained in this … uh … press release. And I’m proud to say I garnered an Honorable Mention, despite having broken just about all of the contest’s rules. How did I pull off this feat? You’ll just have to read Patrick’s blog.

Here’s my entry:

Limerick Ode To Greed
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Tis the season to make lots of cash
For business, for God. Got a stash?
Yes, ain’t it ironic
That greed is so chronic?
We worship the gods of mall trash.

A Limerick Meal (Poetry Prompt)

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as a first line:

A wealthy old fellow named Bart…

Here’s mine:

A Limerick Meal
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A wealthy old fellow named Bart
Began ev’ry meal with a fart.
When guests came to dine
They’d pretend all was fine
Cuz they hoped to inherit his art.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Ode To A Greedy Squirrel

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

Ode To A Greedy Squirrel
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A squirrel who wanted some food
Did something I’d call rather rude:
He squeezed into a cage,
Ate the bird feed — not sage.
Now his tummy’s too fat to extrude.

Note: This limerick is based on a British news story about a greedy squirrel that squeezed through the bars of a “squirrel-proof” bird feeder and “gorged on so many nuts it could not squeeze back out through the bars.” The squirrel remained trapped inside, until an RSPCA Inspector used a crow-bar and grasper to widen the gap between two of the bars. 

(You can find more of my pet and animal humor here and you’ll find more animal related poetry here.)

UPDATE: Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day, January 21st!