Archive for the ‘Holiday Humor’ Category

Happy National Punctuation Day — September 24 (Haiku)

Friday, September 24th, 2021

Punctuation Day
questionable holiday
arrives without bang

Happy National Punctuation Day!

(I decided to provide that bang, after all.)

Dueling Calendars (Limerick)

Monday, September 6th, 2021

Rosh Hashanah is early this year.
The calendar (Jewish) does veer
Just enough to confuse me,
Confound and bemuse me.
I must labor to get back in gear.

The Perils Of Thinking (Limerick)

Friday, March 19th, 2021

While thinking’s a fine thing to do,
Lately thoughts have been turning me blue.
They kick up a stink,
So I can’t sleep a wink.
(What a shame that there’s no one to sue.)

Happy “World Sleep Day!” (3rd Friday of March)

Limerick Ode To 2021

Wednesday, December 30th, 2020

Here’s hoping your new year is great!
(2020 sure sucked — no debate.)
If the new vaccines work,
And Mitch ISN’T a jerk,
We just might have a year we don’t hate.

2020, Buh-Bye! (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2020

I’m grateful the year’s end is nigh.
Good riddance — no need to say why.
Though the reasons are endless,
A whiner is friendless;
I’ll just bid it an effing goodbye!

New Year’s Eve Limerick Trio

Monday, December 31st, 2018

New Year’s Toast:

The new year is coming up fast,
As I think of the world’s recent past.
It feels like the brink,
So to hope I shall drink:
Next year’s GOT to be better than last.

*****
Resolution Disclaimer:

Resolutions ain’t sticky, I fear,
Be it sugar, tobacco or beer.
If you’ve broken that pledge,
Please don’t be on edge.
No worries! There’s always NEXT year.

*****

Drunken Limerick:

Can I write silly verse after drinking?
Let’s see. Wait a second — I’m thinking.
Can’t come up with a verse
Or a rhyme. Even worse,
I suspect that this limerick’s stinking.

MY Kind Of St. Patrick’s Day Celebration (Limerick)

Saturday, March 17th, 2018

We’re off to a nice Bayside pub,
Where Mark will eat Irish-type grub.
I’ll eschew all the food,
But will alter my mood
Through libations — a spiritous sub.

Resolution Suggestion (Limerick)

Sunday, January 1st, 2017

If your past resolutions seem old
And you’d like one that’s novel and bold,
You could vow to spend time
With more wordplay and rhyme…
And to enter the contests I hold.

My Limerick-Off challenges are always the top post on this page.

World Snake Day Limerick (July 16)

Saturday, July 16th, 2016

Happy World Snake Day! (July 16)

A man was beginning to grasp
The danger of bites from an asp.
A thought bubble snaked
Through his brainwaves half-baked:
“Pet asp? I’m an ass!” — his last gasp!

Limerick Ode To Canada Day

Friday, July 1st, 2016

It’s Canada Day, so congrats.
You Canucks surely think that we’re bats.
And I have to concede
That you’re right. If I need
To flee Trump, do you have any flats?

Yet Another St. Patrick’s Day Limerick

Thursday, March 17th, 2016

On St. Patrick’s Day food I’m not keen.
Its corned beef and cabbage cuisine
Makes my stomach feel queer,
And the same goes for beer.
Partake… and I’ll surely turn green.

Limerick Ode To Leap Day

Monday, February 29th, 2016

It’s “Leap Day,” a day that is rare,
Which strikes me as rather unfair;
Leap Days fall just in years
Deemed “bissextile.” No leers
Please at “sex” in that term. Don’t you dare!

About Those Resolutions (Limerick)

Friday, January 1st, 2016

At the start of each year, it’s tradition
To draw up a vow-list, the mission
Being clean up one’s act
In some way. But in fact,
Our lapses soon lead to contrition.

Not So Glittery Party (Limerick)

Thursday, December 31st, 2015

For her party, she planned lots of glitter,
But forgot; she’s a bit of a flitter.
So nothing was clinquant.
That gal was delinquent…
Also smart; this cut down on the litter.

New Year’s Toast (Limerick)

Thursday, December 31st, 2015

The new year is coming up fast,
As I think of the world’s recent past.
It feels like the brink,
So to hope I shall drink:
Next year’s GOT to be better than last.

Sound Familiar? (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 30th, 2015

That annual moment is near,
When I notice I’ve failed to adhere
To the “vow list” I wrote;
Resolutions I’ll quote
In my NEW list. (They’re longer each year.)

Not That I’m Complaining, But… (Limerick)

Thursday, December 24th, 2015

I’m not writing a climate-change screed,
But I’d wager most folks would concede
This is crazy as heck:
Icy drinks on our deck,
Late December, New York. Coat? No need!

What Have They Done To My Treats? (2-Verse Limerick)

Sunday, November 1st, 2015

Halloween week I sampled some candy,
But stuff that I used to find dandy
Made me cringe with distaste.
Has aging laid waste
To my taste buds? I’d rather drink brandy.

Have the folks who make chocolate treats
Altered recipes, cheapened these sweets
Till they taste like debris?
Is it them? Is it me?
Either way, here come healthier eats.

Halloween Teens (Limerick)

Friday, October 30th, 2015

Halloween, when the teens come around,
They will surely be sugar-high bound.
Will they scarf up their treats
While they’re combing the streets?
Yes they’ll feast as the pavement they pound.

Happy Limerick Day (and Edward Lear’s Birthday) (May 12)

Tuesday, May 12th, 2015

My lim’rick obsession’s severe;
I write rhymes night and day ev’ry year.
My addiction is brutal.
Resistance is futile…
And I warrant the fault lies with Lear.

Happy birthday, Edward Lear, and Happy Limerick Day!