If your past resolutions seem old
And you’d like one that’s novel and bold,
You could vow to spend time
With more wordplay and rhyme…
And to enter the contests I hold.
My Limerick-Off challenges are always the top post on this page.
Archive for the ‘Holiday Humor’ Category
Resolution Suggestion (Limerick)
Sunday, January 1st, 2017World Snake Day Limerick (July 16)
Saturday, July 16th, 2016Happy World Snake Day! (July 16)
A man was beginning to grasp
The danger of bites from an asp.
A thought bubble snaked
Through his brainwaves half-baked:
“Pet asp? I’m an ass!” — his last gasp!
Limerick Ode To Canada Day
Friday, July 1st, 2016It’s Canada Day, so congrats.
You Canucks surely think that we’re bats.
And I have to concede
That you’re right. If I need
To flee Trump, do you have any flats?
Yet Another St. Patrick’s Day Limerick
Thursday, March 17th, 2016On St. Patrick’s Day food I’m not keen.
Its corned beef and cabbage cuisine
Makes my stomach feel queer,
And the same goes for beer.
Partake… and I’ll surely turn green.
Limerick Ode To Leap Day
Monday, February 29th, 2016It’s “Leap Day,” a day that is rare,
Which strikes me as rather unfair;
Leap Days fall just in years
Deemed “bissextile.” No leers
Please at “sex” in that term. Don’t you dare!
About Those Resolutions (Limerick)
Friday, January 1st, 2016At the start of each year, it’s tradition
To draw up a vow-list, the mission
Being clean up one’s act
In some way. But in fact,
Our lapses soon lead to contrition.
Not So Glittery Party (Limerick)
Thursday, December 31st, 2015For her party, she planned lots of glitter,
But forgot; she’s a bit of a flitter.
So nothing was clinquant.
That gal was delinquent…
Also smart; this cut down on the litter.
New Year’s Toast (Limerick)
Thursday, December 31st, 2015The new year is coming up fast,
As I think of the world’s recent past.
It feels like the brink,
So to hope I shall drink:
Next year’s GOT to be better than last.
Sound Familiar? (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 30th, 2015That annual moment is near,
When I notice I’ve failed to adhere
To the “vow list” I wrote;
Resolutions I’ll quote
In my NEW list. (They’re longer each year.)
Not That I’m Complaining, But… (Limerick)
Thursday, December 24th, 2015I’m not writing a climate-change screed,
But I’d wager most folks would concede
This is crazy as heck:
Icy drinks on our deck,
Late December, New York. Coat? No need!
What Have They Done To My Treats? (2-Verse Limerick)
Sunday, November 1st, 2015Halloween week I sampled some candy,
But stuff that I used to find dandy
Made me cringe with distaste.
Has aging laid waste
To my taste buds? I’d rather drink brandy.
Have the folks who make chocolate treats
Altered recipes, cheapened these sweets
Till they taste like debris?
Is it them? Is it me?
Either way, here come healthier eats.
Halloween Teens (Limerick)
Friday, October 30th, 2015Halloween, when the teens come around,
They will surely be sugar-high bound.
Will they scarf up their treats
While they’re combing the streets?
Yes they’ll feast as the pavement they pound.
Limerick Flaw
Wednesday, April 1st, 2015My life has a terrible flaw;
I’m adrift and off course — in a yaw.
I’ve concluded that humor’s
No job for this boomer.
It’s time to return to the law.
Happy April Fools’ Day!
Windy St. Patrick’s Day Limerick
Tuesday, March 17th, 2015Windy St. Patrick’s Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Thinking Jack Frost had split, we high-fived.
But our basking in warmth was short-lived.
Winter managed to con us–
Cold wind is upon us–
A low blow as St. Pat’s Day arrived.
(More wind poetry here.)
Post-Christmas Lament
Friday, December 26th, 2014Post-Christmas Lament
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Christmas season’s ended,
So shopping’s at a stall.
But exchangers have descended.
When’s it safe to risk a mall?
Dear Klutzy Gift-Givers (Limerick)
Thursday, December 18th, 2014Dear Klutzy Gift-Givers (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Are your fingers all thumbs? Then beware!
Please don’t try to convince her you care
By wrapping your gift.
One quick look — she’ll be miffed:
“Why’s my present been mauled by a bear?”
Something I’ve Noticed (Limerick)
Monday, December 8th, 2014Something I’ve Noticed (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This notice can fill you with dread,
When it comes from your office-place head:
Not the “blue slip,” you smarty–
The “holiday party!”
I’ll bet you’d feel safer in bed.
Thanksgiving Limerick
Thursday, November 27th, 2014Thanksgiving Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I should really stop singing the blues
And bemoaning the terrible news
And, instead, send this greeting:
At least we are eating;
Many people lack roof, food, and shoes.
Limerick Ode To Greedy Stores
Tuesday, November 25th, 2014Limerick Ode To Greedy Stores
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Don’t reward greedy, cynical stores
For behaving like gluttonous whores:
If they’re open on days
Like Thanksgiving, it pays
To shop elsewhere. Don’t walk through their doors!
******
A Companion Haiku:
Stores, be on notice:
Open doors on Thanksgiving?
Brace for a boycott.
******
