Posts Tagged ‘Drinking Limerick’

Limerick Ode To Stout Day (1st Thursday of November)

Thursday, November 1st, 2018

While I don’t drink stout (or any sort of beer, ale, lager, etc.) I couldn’t resist celebrating “International Stout Day” with a limerick:

A patient whose ailment was gout,
Was informed that he drank too much stout.
The fellow turned pale,
As he yelled “I need ale!
“Downing beer is what living’s about.”

Happy “Take A Cruise Day!” (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2016

For some inexplicable reason, today’s “Take A Cruise Day,” which is my excuse for this limerick:

While a fellow was off on a cruise,
He smoked grass and kept knocking back booze.
“When I’m seasick,” he said,
“Weed and hootch soothe my head.
And I’d rather be woozy from wooze*.”

* “Wooze” is slang for the combination of weed and booze.

Not That I’m Complaining, But… (Limerick)

Thursday, December 24th, 2015

I’m not writing a climate-change screed,
But I’d wager most folks would concede
This is crazy as heck:
Icy drinks on our deck,
Late December, New York. Coat? No need!

Happy “Champagne Day” (August 4)

Tuesday, August 4th, 2015

It’s Champagne Day — not that I need an excuse to drink champagne … or write silly limericks:

A flutist who’s fond of champagne
Trills “Vintage!” — a chilling refrain.
Dating rich, shady guys
For their bank account size,
She loves swilling their ill-gotten gain.

Limerick Ode to National Scotch Day (July 27)

Monday, July 27th, 2015

Limerick Ode To National Scotch Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I hate to complain or to carp.
About liquor it’s rare that I harp.
But I’d scotch any notion
Of drinking a potion
Whose wet-carpet smell is so sharp.

A Spirited Weekend (Limerick)

Thursday, June 11th, 2015

A Spirited Weekend (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This weekend, two drinks duke it out:
Gin and bourbon — which one has more clout?
Though “World Gin Day” comes first,
Save a bit of your thirst.
Next is bourbon … but no time for stout.

NOTE: World Gin Day is celebrated on the 2nd Saturday of June. National Bourbon Day, on the other hand, is always celebrated on June 14.

Never Tease Me With Teas (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 10th, 2015

Never Tease Me With Teas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I never drink hot or iced tea.
I just bag it as naught but debris,
Though it might pack a punch
Were it spiked, say with brunch.
But please leave out the tea-taste — that’s key!

NOTE: While studying up on today’s holiday, National Iced Tea Day, I was surprised to learn that tea in the U.S. was originally booze-laden.

A Window Into My Guilt (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 6th, 2015

A Window Into My Guilt (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re sure to encounter frustration
With laptops, when spilling libation:
Your computer won’t thrive,
You may lose your hard drive,
And you’ll likely face defenestration.

Limerick Ode to National Beverage Day (May 6)

Wednesday, May 6th, 2015

Limerick Ode to National Beverage Day (May 6)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s National Beverage Day
The vaguest of days, you might say,
Cuz your options are fluid;
Each bev’rage will do it.
Drink anything — scotch the bouquet.

Limerick Ode To Bartender Appreciation Day

Friday, December 5th, 2014

Happy Bartender Appreciation Day! (first Friday of December)

Limerick Ode To Bartender Appreciation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow walked into a bar
And ordered a “smoked cable car.”
“Outta rum,” barkeep said.
“How’s a sidecar instead?”
It was close but, alas, no cigar.

*****

When you are ailing,
a bartender’s frequently
a stout companion.

******

UPDATE: February 24 is World Bartender Day.

Limerick For National Rum Day

Saturday, August 16th, 2014

Happy National Rum Day! (August 16)

Limerick For National Rum Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal called her husband a lout
And threatened to highball it out
If he kept drinking rum.
He at first was struck dumb,
Then obligingly switched up to stout.

Distilling The Truth (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 29th, 2014

Distilling The Truth
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Don’t sulk, but the bulk of the rye
Labeled heirloom’s a hand-crafted lie;
Many crafty booze sellers
Are re-seller fellers–
Small-batch fees for a factory buy.

*****

Yes that special, hand-crafted, small-batch, artisan, heirloom whiskey may really come from MGP, a large factory/distillery in Indiana.

Happy World Cocktail Day (May 13th)

Tuesday, May 13th, 2014

Limerick Ode To The Cocktail
By Madeleine Begun Kane

We celebrate cocktails in May:
May 13th is “World Cocktail Day.” Yay!
But I hope you won’t laugh
When I say on behalf
Of its worshippers: Why just one day?

(On May 13, 1806, The Balance and Columbian Repository, an upstate New York newspaper, published the first known definition of the word “cock-tail,” as “a stimulating liquor, composed of spirits of any kind, sugar, water and bitters.”)

Fun With Verbs (Limerick)

Friday, February 7th, 2014

A recent article over at DVerse Poets discusses the importance of using vivid verbs in poetry. And though I completely agree, I couldn’t resist writing this limerick:

Fun With Verbs (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

One never should write. One should scribe.
One must NOT coincide. Instead, jibe.
Are verbs that have color
Much better than duller?
I’m bewildered — must drink … or imbibe.

Boring adjective-freedom’s my goal,
And dull adverbs can sure take their toll.
I abjure and forswear them
And simply can’t bear them.
In this verse, though, they’re taking control.

Perhaps with Verse 3, I’ll succeed
In banishing words I don’t need.
Not an adverb in sight,
Nor an adjective blight.
Push my luck? No, not me! End of screed.

I’m Not Swallowing This App (Limerick)

Saturday, October 5th, 2013

Do we really need a beer-brewing robot that lets you make beer with your iPhone?

I’m Not Swallowing This App (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Innovations can certainly rock,
But at times they compel me to mock;
I’m feeling a jeer brewing:
IPhones and beer brewing?
How ’bout using an iPhone to talk?

Limerick Ode To National Beer Lover’s Day

Saturday, September 7th, 2013

Happy National Beer Lover’s Day! (September 7th)

Limerick Ode To National Beer Lover’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Beer Lover’s Day” is today.
Do I plan to imbibe some? No way.
Its bouquet makes me ail
And turn pale, and I fail
To favor its flavor. So nay!

Happy National Rum Day (Limerick)

Friday, August 16th, 2013

Happy National Rum Day! (August 16)

Happy National Rum Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man was balled out out by his mum,
Who told him to stop making rum.
“That’s my bus’ness,” he said.
“It’s my butter and bread.”
But he chewed on it. Now he makes gum.

Limerick Ode to the Corkscrew

Wednesday, March 27th, 2013

Happy anniversary to the corkscrew! On March 27, 1860, New Yorker M.L. Byrn patented a corkscrew design. “It was T-shaped, based on gadgets that had long been used to extract bullets stuck in the muzzles of guns. Corkscrews had been around before Byrn’s invention, but his design became the standard in America for decades.”

Limerick Ode To The Corkscrew
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Make a toast to a corking invention–
An aid in removing our tension.
Does your life feel screwed up?
Need some sips with your sup?
Then give praise for the corkscrew’s ascension.

Happy National Chocolate Week!

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Happy National Chocolate Week (celebrated yearly during the third week of March.) Not that anyone ever needs an excuse to eat chocolate.

I’m celebrating in a rather unexpected way: In the course of St. Patrick’s Day bar-hopping in my hometown Bayside, Queens, I met a fellow associated with Chocolate Alley Chocolatieres. And the next thing I knew, I was named CAC’s Limerick Laureate. So go check out my Q & A and chocolate limericks at this fun chocolate magazine and chocolate shop.

The Proof Is In The Drinking (Limerick) (Updated)

Tuesday, February 12th, 2013

Bad news for bourbon fans, like my husband Mark:

Maker’s Mark bourbon will lower the alcohol content in its bourbon from 45 percent to 42 percent.

Chief operating officer Rob Samuels said the reduction is the only way to meet higher demand…

The Proof Is In The Drinking (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Maker’s Mark has announced that it’s curbin’
The alcohol content of bourbon.
Now this isn’t a spoof–
I could give you the proof.
I’m just glad they’re not cognac disturbin’.

UPDATE: Maker’s Mark has wisely decided to reverse its decision. It won’t be watering down its bourbon, after all.