Posts Tagged ‘Bar Humor’

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Peer or Pier or Appear at the end of any one line

Sunday, December 16th, 2018

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Peer or Pier or Appear at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to Jewelry, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Jewelry-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on January 6, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you three full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 5, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

We ordered some wine and a beer
And waited for both to appear.
But neither drink came.
Empty noggin to blame?
We got eggnog … instead of good cheer.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: at the end of any one line CORE or CORPS or DÉCOR

Saturday, December 1st, 2018

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CORE or CORPS or DÉCOR at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SPICE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best spice-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on December 16, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 15, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

This drink was a very “light pour.”
If you’d like to be paid, pour me more!
Here’s my other complaint
Which is likely to taint
Your review: piss-poor taste in décor.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Bathroom Signs Shouldn’t Be In Code (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014

According to this video, I’m not the only person who sometimes finds bathroom signs confusing.

Bathroom Signs Shouldn’t Be In Code (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sipping drinks at a trendy new bar,
I’m hoping the john isn’t far.
I rush off on my quest
For a bathroom addressed
To my needs and find symbols bizarre.

So which one’s for gals? Which for guys?
Posting puzzles for drinkers ain’t wise.
I start ravin’: “Be clear!
Tell us ‘Females Go Here.'”
But alas, I must guess and … surprise!

I walk in and find menfolk galore,
Lots of urinals, yellow-soaked floor.
And the smell — unfresh hell —
Sends me rushing pell mell
To the john meant for me. Nevermore!

Not Chicken About Taking A Stand (Limerick)

Thursday, March 6th, 2014

Not Chicken About Taking A Stand (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I feel bad about arrows and slings
That are suffered by chickens. This brings
Lots of tears to my eyes.
I choke up — no surprise.
And for that, I blame Buffalo wings.

(Buffalo Wings were invented 50 years ago on March 6, 1964, at Buffalo, New York’s Anchor Bar, by the tavern’s owner, Teressa Bellissimo.)

When Readings Go From Verse To Worse

Thursday, December 13th, 2012

I was asked to read several limericks at the third annual Los Angeles Limerick Fest Wednesday night, held at the Altadena Ale House. Since I live in New York City, arrangements were made for me to read them via phone.

As you can tell from this limerick, my reading went awry:

When Readings Go From Verse To Worse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Reading limerick verse from afar
Via phone to a mike in a bar
Is a risky affair:
Noise and feedback will blare.
Pass the sidecar. I’m still below par.