Poor Stuart was feeling perplexed,
And NOT just little bit vexed
By his wife’s “Honey do
Buy me honeydew, Stu!”
(He’ll be needing a translator next.)
Archive for the ‘Limericks’ Category
Communication Glitch (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 21st, 2026Matters of Opinion (Limerick)
Monday, July 20th, 2026“This issue’s extremely clear-cut.
Moreover it’s open-and-shut.”
Such assertions emphatic
And blindly dogmatic
Make me itch to butt in and rebut.
Depart, Already! (Limerick)
Thursday, July 16th, 2026“Please depart, go away, kindly leave.
And the sooner the better! This eve
Would suffice, I’d avow.
Even better? Right now!
And don’t bother to seek a reprieve.”
The Impatient Patient (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 14th, 2026An old patient, impatiently waiting
For the doctor, was plotting his rating.
“Five-Thumbs-Down” it would be,
For he needed to pee,
Doc was late, and the muzak was grating.
“Highly” Happy Limerick
Friday, July 10th, 2026A jovial student, while high,
Said “By Jove, I’m a real lucky guy!
I’ve been acing each test
And I’m feath’ring my nest
Using scams, with the help of AI.”
Failed Investment (Limerick)
Wednesday, July 8th, 2026A young fellow is swimming in debt,
Cuz he recklessly made a big bet
On a bus’ness that failed.
All his partners have bailed,
And he’s now been assailed by regret.
Failure to Communicate? (Limerick)
Friday, July 3rd, 2026“Please slow down and repeat what you said,”
A gal begged her impatient spouse Ned.
“And do NOT blame my ears:
After two or three beers,
Your words rush, veer, & tumble ahead.”
Lonesome Limerick
Thursday, July 2nd, 2026“It is difficult living alone,”
Said a lonely old lady named Joan.
“But my problem’s been solved,
And it isn’t involved . . .
I just bother my kids on the phone.”
Seeing Red (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 30th, 2026“I was floored when I saw how he looked;
He’s so florid, you’d swear he’d been cooked.
Is it fever? The sun?
Is it both, or just one?
I sure hope that a doctor’s been booked!”
Dodging Gym (Limerick)
Monday, June 29th, 2026In my youth, I would hide during gym.
(I am klutzy and slow; skill set grim.)
Tossing balls? Not my speed!
As for catching ’em? Heed
What I say: Go find someone with vim!
Greedy Limerick
Sunday, June 28th, 2026An old man whose largesse is well-known,
Has grown children who constantly moan
About “pushover dad.”
They are greedily mad
That he’s “squand’ring” what THEY “ought to own.”
The Quest For An Ending (Limerick and Haiku)
Sunday, June 28th, 2026This limerick emerged from the haiku right below it
A new limerick’s starting to spark.
I believe I’m detecting an arc.
But alas, it’s still minus
A punchline: Lacks wryness!
A fun terminus! STAT! … or go dark.
*****
If I couldn’t write
while minus my terminus
I’d never begin.
Unwanted Advice (Limerick)
Thursday, June 18th, 2026“You adore telling folks what to do,
Most especially ME! Right on cue,
You’ll advise me to say
Or do something that’s cray.
Go away! (That’s my counsel to YOU!)”
The Gift (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 16th, 2026An old woman is terribly miffed;
It’s her birthday, so cue quite the rift:
Seems her spouse, ev’ry year,
Buys her negligee, sheer
(Which he knows she won’t wear) – as a “gift.”
Replacement Theory? (Limerick)
Saturday, June 13th, 2026“I’m afraid that I’ll soon be replaced
By AI, though I always have aced
My reviews at the job,”
Said a guy, with a sob…
“So I need a rich lover post-haste!”
The Limerick-Writing Life
Thursday, June 11th, 2026Many limericks start as a lark.
Some are spurred by a devilish spark,
That’s set off by a word
Or a phrase that’s absurd.
How to end them? I’m oft in the dark.
Anniversary Limerick For My Great Husband Mark
Thursday, June 4th, 2026A limerick for my wonderful husband Mark Kane on our 48th Wedding Anniversary! Thanks for 48 great years, hon! (49, if you count the time from the moment we met.)
I felt like a misfit for years:
A feeling that drove me to tears.
But my life was re-set
On the day that I met
Mark G. Kane. To my husband, Three Cheers!
The “Guilty” Gal (Limerick)
Saturday, May 30th, 2026A young gal was chock-full of remorse:
She was certain she’d caused a divorce,
Cuz her mom and her dad
Had split up. (She’d been bad!)
Is that woman a shrink? But of course!
Iced Out (Limerick)
Thursday, May 28th, 2026“Since fresh ice cream’s my favorite vice,
My own creamery sure would be nice.
But my blood sugar’s high,”
Said the man, with a sigh.
“So I’m putting that pipe dream on ice.”
A Good Excuse (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 26th, 2026“You have homework to do, so don’t dither,”
Said the mom, with a look that could wither.
“But mom,” said her teen.
“There’s something between
Your two feet, and I’m watching it slither.”
