Archive for the ‘Limericks’ Category

That Snow Job They Call Spring (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 21st, 2018

Spring’s begun with a bang! I’m annoyed,
Cuz more shov’ling I’d rather avoid,
But since stuff from above’ll
Not stop, need my shovel.
That tool, alas, must be deployed!

Happy French Language Day!

Tuesday, March 20th, 2018

Since it’s “French Language Day…” (March 20)

I once could speak French, but no more.
All its words fled my brain, though j’adore
Their pure tone — très charmant,
Which is just what I want
In la langue. Quel dommage mine’s so poor!

First Day Of Spring? NOT In New York! (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 20th, 2018

It’s the first day of spring? I don’t buy it,
Cuz the elements surely defy it;
Twelve inches of snow
Are on route here, so NO!
Don’t insist that it’s spring. I’ll deny it.

UPDATE: Deadline and New Limerick-Off Postponed by TWO Weeks Due To Broken Laptop. New Deadline is APRIL 14!!! Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BARK or EMBARK at the end of any one line

Saturday, March 17th, 2018

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BARK or EMBARK at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SPRING, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SPRING-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on April 15, 2018 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 14, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

“Why were canines allowed on that ark?”
Whined a woman whose dog-fear was stark.
Then she jumped up and bawled,
When a pooch-owner drawled:
“Sawyer’s bite is far worse than his bark.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (294)

Saturday, March 17th, 2018

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to RANDY WAGNER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

A laptop who loved to cavort
With connective devices for sport
Gushed, “I’ll always enable
A USB cable
Adapted to turn on my port.”

Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins the Special CLOCK-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

A mouse had been warned of the clock:
“It’s electric and likely to shock.”
This advice went unheeded,
So now what is needed
Is a hickory dickory doc.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Mike Shulman, Kirk Miller, John Bergstrom, Fred Bortz, Tim James, Dave Johnson, Sharon Neeman, Jean McEwen, Kathleen Bartoletti, and Brian Allgar. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“PORT” RHYME DIVISION)

Mike Shulman:

Claimed a windbag in Bankruptcy Court:
“I’m a stud in a ladies resort.”
But on spying his tool,
The judge ruled the fool
Had no visible means of support.

Kirk Miller:

At a nuclear plant, they abort
Operations while trying to thwart
Radiational leaks.
An inspector then speaks,
And he gives them a glowing report.

John Bergstrom:

De pirates were drinking de port.
They were down to their very last quart.
But de porter came by
And renewed their supply –
He re-ported ’em, ’fore they ran short.

Fred Bortz:

They frolicked at Trumpster’s resort
And elsewhere, the papers report.
A tryst in Chicago?
Perhaps Mar-a-Lago?
Then Stormy says, “See you in Court!”

Kirk Miller:

A yoga instructor named Mort
Gave students some extra support.
“Do you have time to meet
One-on-one?” asked young Pete.
“I’m flexible,” came the retort.

Tim James:

A sailor, a free-spending sort,
Hired a hooker for sexual sport.
He said, between sighs
As she straddled his thighs,
“Lean a bit more to starboard! Now port!”

Dave Johnson:

With climate change, time’s running short;
That ice melt will fail to abort.
Proceeding this way,
In Phoenix some day
They’ll have to establish a port.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (CLOCK LIMERICK DIVISION)

Sharon Neeman:

Daylight Saving Time’s playing its tricks:
I’m in Israel; my cuz from the sticks
Of New Jersey just phoned;
“Five AM here!” I groaned.
“Oh no, really? I thought it was six!”

Jean McEwen:

Their functions are fairly routine:
Sound alarms, say when meetings convene.
The typical clock
Just goes tick and then tock,
But YOUR clock? Now, that one I’ll clean!

Kathleen Bartoletti:

She heard her bi’logical clock
Loud and clear, and with ev’ry tick tock,
She cried and thought maybe
Instead of a baby,
She’d be forced to adopt a Pet Rock.

Brian Allgar:

She sighed. She’d been sucking his cock
For a couple of hours by the clock,
But the guy was still limp.
“Fake news!” cried the wimp.
“I’m the Donald. I’m hard as a rock!”

Sharon Neeman:

My clocks used to tick on the wall,
And a grandfather chimed in the hall.
Now they hide, half unseen,
At the edge of my screen,
With no ticking or chiming at all.

Dave Johnson:

It looked like the win was a lock;
So coaches said “Run out the clock.”
But things happened fast,
Their lead wouldn’t last;
Which won them some papers that walk.

Tim James:

“Spring forward, fall back.” He had mocked
That old bromide, but now he was shocked.
He was one hour late
For his meeting at eight.
With the time change, he’d gone off half-clocked.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

MY Kind Of St. Patrick’s Day Celebration (Limerick)

Saturday, March 17th, 2018

We’re off to a nice Bayside pub,
Where Mark will eat Irish-type grub.
I’ll eschew all the food,
But will alter my mood
Through libations — a spiritous sub.

Genius (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 14th, 2018

A genius who’s famed for his brain,
Won’t deign to do chores. They’re his bane.
So he’ll handily coax
Help from generous folks;
His true gift’s palming off the mundane.

Happy Genius Day! (March 14)

Happy Genealogy Day! (Limerick)

Saturday, March 10th, 2018

It’s National Genealogy Day. (2nd Saturday of March)

A woman whose quest for her roots
Revealed relatives deep in cahoots
With a killer and bandit,
Has finally canned it
And buried her fam’ly tree fruits.

Skirting Skirt-Racks (Limerick)

Saturday, March 10th, 2018

Though it’s “Skirt Day,” I’d rather wear pants,
Whether walking or trying to dance.
I’ll ponder and pause,
Lest I feature my flaws —
Flaws that skirts simply love to enhance.

Happy Dress Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 6th, 2018

“You’re moving too much. Please hold still,”
Said a seamstress while sewing a frill
On a dress that was drab
And would never be fab,
Though it WOULD yield a fabulous bill.

Happy Dress Day! (March 6)

Name-Blame (Limerick)

Sunday, March 4th, 2018

It’s risky when parents show flair
In naming their child, so beware!
If you pick a bad name,
You may shoulder the blame
And the cost of a therapist’s stare.

Happy Celebrate Your Name Week (1st full week of March.)

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: PORT or SUPPORT or REPORT or DEPORT at the end of any one line

Sunday, March 4th, 2018

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PORT or SUPPORT or REPORT or DEPORT at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CLOCKS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CLOCK-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on March 18, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 17, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

I’m going to court for a tort
That took place at a fancy resort.
Here’s the thrust of the case:
My client’s poor face
Was struck by a bottle of port.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (293)

Saturday, March 3rd, 2018

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to FRED BORTZ, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

When the doc said, “Ovarian cyst,”
She added his name to the list
Of clueless physicians
Who fail in their missions.
She’s trans, which he somehow had missed.

Congratulations to RANDOLPH WAGNER, who wins the Special HAIR-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

Before her Brazilian, Miss Claire
Grew a raggedy thicket down there.
Although follicly taxing,
Its waning by waxing
Left Claire’s hairy lair fairly bare.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sharon Neeman, David Reddekopp, Mike Shulman, Bob Dvorak, Kirk Miller, John Bergstrom, Ailsa McKillop, Mike Burch, Jean McEwen, Tim James, Dave Johnson, Brian Allgar, Judith H. Block, and Byron Miller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“INSIST or PERSIST or ASSIST or CYST” RHYME DIVISION)

Sharon Neeman:

Hubby checked out his phone while he pissed,
And — pre-dick-tably — some of it missed.
Now the loo stinks like hell,
But he claims there’s no smell!
Oh, I wish he would cease and desist!

David Reddekopp:

I was nearing the end of my rope.
Would the government give me some hope?
Their reply left me pissed:
“If these problems persist
They’re built into the system, so cope.”

Mike Shulman:

A ribald gent liked to insist
He could come with a flick of the wrist.
He flicked when a cop
Made a brief traffic stop,
And was slapped with a “cease and desist.”

Sharon Neeman:

“My brother’s disgusting!” she hissed.
“Did you hear what he said? I’m so pissed:
‘If adding E-R
Takes a word twice as far,
Then a sister’s just worse than a cyst’!”

Bob Dvorak:

Some readers will find themselves pissed
When on viewpoints I loudly insist.
’Twould be better, I say,
To debate, than say “Nay!”
Present FACTS that one cannot resist.

Kirk Miller:

Charles Dickens could never resist
A martini; the yearn would persist.
So the bartender spoke
Seven words as a joke:
“Hey there Charlie, want Olive or Twist?”

John Bergstrom:

There was a young man who’d insist
He could shop without making a list.
“For the last seven weeks
I’ve bought nothing but leeks.
I don’t care if my girlfriend gets pissed!”

Ailsa McKillop:

The round table game did persist.
Ev’ry man held some cards in his fist.
With expressionless mien
I’d have savoured the scene,
If how poker was played I had wist.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (HAIR LIMERICK DIVISION)

Mike Burch:

The hair flap was truly a scare:
Trump’s bald as a billiard back there!
The whole nation laughed
At the state of his graft;
Now the man’s wigging out, so beware!

Jean McEwen:

I thought that I’d reached for shampoo,
But now the damn comb won’t go through.
Although properly tagged,
The wrong bottle I grabbed.
And that’s why my hair is now goo.

Tim James:

I try to take aging with grace,
Despite wrinkles and sags in my face.
Things have slowed down a lot.
But there’s one thing that’s not:
It’s my hairline, retreating apace.

Dave Johnson:

Rapunzel, please let down your hair;
A fellow from Guinness is there.
He’ll measure your tresses,
And my simple guess is
The record, with inches to spare.

Brian Allgar:

“So waddya think of my hair?”
Said the Donald. She gave him a stare.
“Well, the color – bright yellow –
Is odd for a fellow,
And most of it just isn’t there.”

Judith H. Block:

The guy was as huge as a bear,
So drunk, he slid off the bar chair;
He took a large swig,
Then he grabbed at her wig,
She truly escaped by a hair.

Byron Miller:

Though his trumped-up successes, he’ll flaunt,
Saying, “Let’s make the deal that YOU want.”
I just can’t trust a guy
With his hair piled up high
In a puffed-up big bulbous bouffant.

Dave Johnson:

While Elvis was known for his hair,
His fans were more likely to stare
At the gyrating show
Going on down below;
A pelvis with follicle flair.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Vet Your Doctors (Limerick)

Thursday, March 1st, 2018

A doctor would frequently treat
His patients as if they were meat.
“My patients are pigs,”
He’d proclaim from his digs
Near a farm, which was piglet replete.

Happy National Pig Day!

Laundry Blues (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 28th, 2018

A woman was using the sink
To launder her shirt, stained with ink.
She’d soap and she’d wet it,
Then see that she’d spread it.
But at least she looks pretty in pink.

Happy Pink Shirt Day! (Pink Shirt Day is a Canadian anti-bullying holiday celebrated on the 4th Wednesday in February.)

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: INSIST or PERSIST or ASSIST or CYST at the end of any one line

Saturday, February 17th, 2018

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using INSIST or PERSIST or ASSIST or CYST at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to HAIR, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best HAIR-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on March 4, 2018 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 3, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

Ev’ry day I succumb to distractions
And lose track of my plans and transactions.
I’ll jot notes, make a list,
But frustrations persist;
For instance, don’t make me do fractions.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (292)

Saturday, February 17th, 2018

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

I’m skinny, a virtual rail,
And I tip one-fifteen on the scale.
People say, “You should eat!
Try some wholesome white meat!”
But at chicken and turkey I quail.

Congratulations to FRED BORTZ, who wins the Special Winter Olympics-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

The judge from each country inspects
Every move that the couple selects
For their dance on the ice.
So they heed this advice:
You can win if you simulate sex.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Craig Dykstra, Sue Dulley, Brian Allgar, Bob Dvorak, Michael Moulton, Sharon Neeman, Nancy Stanley, Dave Johnson, David Reddekopp, Scott Crowder, and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (RAIL/DERAIL RHYME DIVISION)

Craig Dykstra:

Please forgive me a bit while I rail
’Bout this nasty new veggie called kale.
But I cook mine in oil,
So it takes much less toil
To scrape from the pan to the pail.

Sue Dulley:

A towel may hang on a rail.
A picture may hang on a nail.
When you’re in your car
Driving home from the bar,
A police car may hang on your tail.

Brian Allgar:

On a windy day, out for a sail,
The Donald fell over the rail.
Well, the sharks came to sniff,
But they all took one whiff
And then fled from this foul-smelling whale.

Craig Dykstra:

He got caught making love with a male
And got run out of town on a rail.
Their affair was taboo,
But what else can you do
When in love with a poodle named Dale?

Bob Dvorak:

They don’t do “it” while traveling by rail,
Nor on airplanes, nor under a sail.
Says the woman, with woe,
“In and out? To and fro?
Proper motion gets lost in the male.”

Mike Moulton:

Donald Trump likes to rant and to rail
’Bout UrAsia’s uranium sale,
But it’s simply bad acting
In hopes of distracting
His base with another tall tale.

Sharon Neeman:

Allow me a moment to rail:
Doritos is way off the trail.
Launching quieter chips
For the ladies’ sweet lips
Is a sexist, predictable fail.

Nancy Stanley:

Yes, we’re all getting used to the tale:
The Prez thinks he’s SO ‘Alpha Male.’
But from his tweeting fingers,
There’s no doubt that lingers;
His crazy train’s gonna derail.

Dave Johnson:

When hiking, we know of a trail
So steep, they provided a rail.
It’s handy and nice;
Such a thoughtful device,
If you hate sliding down on your tail.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (WINTER OLYMPICS LIMERICK DIVISION)

David Reddekopp:

The officials won’t cut any slack;
If you cheat, you’ll be catching some flack.
You’re a dope if you dope
And you haven’t a hope.
And your medal? Well, nope, give it back!

Scott Crowder:

The skaters will glide on the ice,
Routines well-rehearsed and precise,
And we shall embrace,
All the beauty and grace.
Yet, ev’ry four years will suffice.

Sharon Neeman:

Here’s a Winter O. sports list for me:
Drinking contests — hot chocolate and tea;
Carpool driving in hail;
Dash through snow for the mail;
Pairs of socks worn at once (I’ve scored three!)

Tim James:

The Olympic to-do won’t abate;
To the hype, though, I just can’t relate.
They can luge, sled and ski,
But it means naught to me.
When it comes on the telly, I skate.

Sue Dulley’s Slopestyle:

Your snowboard must glide down a rail
And then over a cliff-edge you sail.
With your mitt you must grip
Your board’s edge; spin and flip,
Neatly land without fail, then exhale.

Dave Johnson:

Last winter and how it was spent:
The snow always came – never went.
Our shovels we’d fill,
But the driveway was still
A downhill Olympic event.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RAIL or DERAIL at the end of any one line

Saturday, February 3rd, 2018

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RAIL or DERAIL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to the WINTER OLYMPICS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best WINTER OLYMPICS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on February 18, 2018 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 17, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

I frequently travel by rail
And would rather ride trains than set sail,
Cuz a train was the place
Where I first saw the face
Of my husband … plus torso and tail.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Award (291)

Saturday, February 3rd, 2018

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:

If I thought I might want to expend
Tons of cash on a porn star, I’d fend
Off that notion tout de suite.
By my wife I’d get beat,
And on Twitter I’d doubtlessly trend.

Congratulations to SHARON NEEMAN, who wins the Special Impatience-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

You buttonhole me in the queue
And boast of the wonders of you —
But frankly, my dear,
I’m in no mood to hear,
For I’m dying to go to the loo.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Dave Johnson, Sharon Neeman, Gary Henderson, David Reddekopp, Michael Moulton, Kirk Miller, Perry Plouff, Brian Allgar, and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

HONORABLE MENTIONS (“PENNED” RHYME DIVISION)

Dave Johnson:

He told her he had to expend
Some “quality time” with a friend.
Her answer was snide:
“Were you staying inside,
Then falling asleep in the end?”

Sharon Neeman:

“He’s a writer,” you say of your… “friend” —
But what has he actually penned?
You clothe him and feed him
And think that you need him.
He’s mooching! Wise up! Make it end!

Gary Henderson:

The Donald asked Stormy to bend,
And to lift up her ample rear end.
“I’ll be happy to try,”
She said with a sigh,
“Once you take off that yellow Depend.”

David Reddekopp:

So now that I’m older, I tend
To lose my shit, out my rear end.
And since there’s a chance
That I’ll poop in my pants,
That means on Depends I depend.

Mike Moulton:

Donald Trump, from the tweets that you’ve penned,
It is clear you think Putin’s our friend.
When he hacked our election,
He got an erection,
And we all get screwed in the end.

Kirk Miller:

Read a book Chubby Checker had penned,
Recommended to me by a friend.
It’s a mystery, so
I suppose you should know
That the book has a twist at the end.

Perry Plouff:

And so now I’m obliged to defend
All the poems I never have penned.
I can’t think of a rhyme
For the rhyme word this time,
So my rhyming is now at an end.

HONORABLE MENTIONS (IMPATIENCE LIMERICK DIVISION)

Dave Johnson:

This tailgater thought he could say:
“Hey buddy, get outta my way!”
My foot disagreed;
An appropriate speed
Is causing him further delay.

Brian Allgar:

The voters impatiently wait
For their country again to be great.
But despite what Trump said,
It’s a shithole instead –
If you vote for shit, shit is your fate.

David Reddekopp:

They’re taking their time, and I worry
Whose favor do I have to curry?
I would hate to be late
For my date – I can’t wait!
O God, grant me patience, but hurry!

Tim James:

For the mafia doc things are bleak,
And he’s now in a high state of pique.
It’s the local D.A.’s
That have caused this malaise:
They’ve been trying his patients all week.

Dave Johnson:

“Get going!” he yells at the cars;
“What’s taking so long?” in the bars.
If the future were here,
He’d probably sneer:
“Too slow!” on a shuttle to Mars.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Happy “Clashing Clothes Day!” (Limerick)

Thursday, January 25th, 2018

Happy “Clashing Clothes Day!” (4th Thursday of January)

Said a gal to her spouse, with a frown:
“Tell me, why are you dressed like a clown?
Orange jacket? Green shirt?
Purple pants? My eyes hurt!
Just this once, can’t you wear solid brown?”

#ClashingClothesDay #NationalClashingClothesDay