Posts Tagged ‘Advice Limerick’

Unwanted Advice (Limerick)

Saturday, September 9th, 2017

Giving people unwanted advice
Is a vice I’d avoid; it ain’t nice.
Don’t presume to know more,
Lest you sound like a bore.
“Words of wisdom?” Best keep them on ice.

Tweeting The Unconventional (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 4th, 2016

Biz advice from a mogul, by tweet:
Women eyeing that large corner suite
Should hike skirts up and wear
Bright colors. I swear
It ain’t Trump, but Barb Corc’ran. Delete!

Here’s the article that inspired this limerick: “Barbara Corcoran to female entrepreneurs: Hike up your skirts.”

If It’s Too Good To Be True, It Ain’t! (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 28th, 2015

Stop getting yourselves into jams
By falling for Internet scams.
If you’re lured by a post
Or an email, you’re toast.
So say bye to your bread. They’re all shams.

Limerick Vice (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, June 22nd, 2014

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow with many a vice…*

or

A gal who was free with advice…*

or

A fellow had bought a device…*

or

A fellow was using a vise…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Vice
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow with many a vice
Was, needless to say, not too nice;
When warned by his doc,
He’d scorn and he’d mock.
Now he’s mournfully paying the price.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

A Pessimist’s Ode To “Look On The Bright Side Day”

Saturday, December 21st, 2013

I was disturbed to hear that today (December 21) is “Look On The Bright Side Day.”

Please don’t tell me to “look on the bright side.”
This merely exposes your trite side.
Neither wise, nor delightful,
It makes me feel spiteful.
Quote that maxim? I’ll max out my smite side.

Caveat Burglar (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 6th, 2013

This fellow tried to rob the wrong house:

Robyn Irvine, a former ax-throwing competitor living in Hemet, Calif., woke up when she heard a noise and saw the burglar trying to snatch her watch from her wrist, according to CBS Los Angeles.

Irvine quickly grabbed an ax, scaring the intruder.

Caveat Burglar (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear burglars, it’s time to face facts:
Preparation is key — don’t be lax.
You must research each job
To ensure folks you rob
Aren’t expert at lobbing an ax.

Without Common Sense, We’re Toast (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 5th, 2013

I couldn’t possibly resist a title like this: “London firefighters urge ‘common sense’ after penis freed from toaster.

Without Common Sense, We’re Toast (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When devising some bedroom delights,
It ain’t right to try reaching new heights
With devices like toasters
And blenders and roasters,
Else your privates might need their last rites.

Dear Driver (Limerick)

Thursday, January 31st, 2013

Dear Driver (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear driver, here’s crucial advice
That I hope I won’t have to say twice:
It’s best not to drive
Wearing skates. You won’t thrive,
Cuz you’re skating on very thin ice.

This limerick was inspired by this news item about a Canadian fellow charged with driving through a red light. He was on his way to a rink and had been driving while wearing ice hockey skates:

Driving with skates “is probably not very safe” because the motorist has limited contact with the brake and gas pedals, said Staff Sgt. Ken Hruska.

Limerick Ode To “World Kindness Day”

Tuesday, November 13th, 2012

Happy “World Kindness Day,” which is celebrated on November 13th.

Limerick Ode To “World Kindness Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s “World Kindness Day.” Try to be nice.
Put your mean inclinations on ice.
Be pleasant and sweet—
A warm smile would be neat.
Please don’t hurt me — it’s only advice.

(Linked at DVerse Poets.)

A Polite Limerick

Wednesday, July 11th, 2012

The latest prompt from Three Words Wednesday asks us to use these three words in any sort of poem: Differ, Halt, and Imagine. And somehow I coaxed them all into a limerick:

A Polite Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When planning a verbal assault,
It can sometimes be useful to halt
And imagine your view
With a more polite skew:
Beg to differ‘s a handy default.

Hasty Acrostic Limerick

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

Help! I can’t stop writing acrostic limericks! Here’s my latest:

Hasty Acrostic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

He who rushes ain’t likely to rate
And he’ll probably err and be late.
So take enough time —
To be careful is prime.
Easy does it. Perfection can wait.

Stubborn Limerick

Monday, June 13th, 2011

Opinionated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who thought he knew best
Spurned conflicting opinions with zest—
His perpetual song:
“I am right. You are wrong.”
Self-improvement, it seems, not his quest.

Newsy Limerick 2

Monday, March 28th, 2011

Newsy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Restricting your diet of news
To outlets endorsing your views
Reinforces beliefs
And bias and beefs.
Why bother? You might as well snooze.

(Prompted by this circular poetry writing prompt.)

Author’s Note: I just realized that this limerick could just as easily fit in my other blog where I post political humor and satire.

Be Yourself?

Sunday, January 23rd, 2011

Oscar Wilde famously (and amusingly) said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” So I thought I’d have some limerick fun with the “be yourself” advice:

Be Yourself?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Be yourself” is outstanding advice.
You’ve heard it, I’m sure, once or twice.
I’d advise you to take it.
It’s best not to fake it,
Assuming you’re someone who’s nice.

Educational Limerick

Tuesday, July 20th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman with sev’ral degrees…

Here’s mine:

Educational Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman with sev’ral degrees
Fell in love with an ill-informed sleaze.
Her friends disapproved
And warned it behooved
Her to drop him and find a new squeeze.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Dear Newbie (Limerick & Haiku Prompt)

Thursday, July 10th, 2008

Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is blogging. First, my limerick, which was inspired by The Ominous Comma’s request for humorous advice for new bloggers:

Dear Newbie
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Newbie, I feel for your plight —
You are anxious for links to your site.
But please do not send
Link requests, when you’ve penned
A mere pittance of blog posts, all right?

And now my haiku (senryu):

My blog bullies me,
Demanding ideas, words, wit.
This will have to do.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about blogging. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until July 18th to post it.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants

1. Noah the Great
2. Noah the Great
3. Deviant Cynic
4. Connie
5. Bev
6. Bev

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your blogging-related verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.