Posts Tagged ‘Twitter Humor’

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CASH or CACHE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 29, 2020)

Sunday, February 16th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CASH or CACHE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CLOTHING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CLOTHING-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on March 1, 2020 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 29, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my CASH/CACHE-Rhyme limerick:

I’m in a big rush and must dash
To the bank, cuz I’m all out of cash.
Then there’s lunch and a meeting
And hours of tweeting
Snide gripes — pols and neighbors to bash.

And here’s my CLOTHING-themed limerick:

A woman was totally bare;
She’d removed all her clothes on a dare,
Then shopped aroun’ town
Till a cop flagged her down.
Her excuse? “I have nothing to wear.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To 280 Characters

Tuesday, November 7th, 2017

I have 280 characters. Yay!
But now that I do, what to say?
A big thank you to Twitter
For letting me litter
Your site with my limerick spray.

My Modest Twitter Proposal

Tuesday, May 17th, 2016

There’s scuttlebutt afoot that Twitter’s 140 character limit may soon be improved, ever so slightly. The idea, apparently, isn’t to up the limit, but to stop counting link and photo characters in calculating usage.

I look forward to that rumored improvement. But in the meantime, here’s my modest proposal:

How ’bout this for a Tweet-poet’s aid:
When you write something short, why not trade
Unused character credits
Or save them, I’ll bet it’s
A hit when o’er limits you’ve strayed.

For example, you’ve written haiku
And you’ve room for more words — just a few.
That space you’ve not used
Could be stored and then fused
On a tweet with a limerick spew.

Tweeting The Unconventional (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 4th, 2016

Biz advice from a mogul, by tweet:
Women eyeing that large corner suite
Should hike skirts up and wear
Bright colors. I swear
It ain’t Trump, but Barb Corc’ran. Delete!

Here’s the article that inspired this limerick: “Barbara Corcoran to female entrepreneurs: Hike up your skirts.”

What I Do When Facebook Is Down (Limerick)

Monday, September 28th, 2015

During Facebook’s outage today, I was reduced to posting this limerick on Twitter:

#Facebookdown so I’ve come here 2 Tweet
& nobody takes a backseat
2 my posting addiction,
A dreadful affliction.
My FB surrender’s complete.

(“2” instead of “to,” “FB” instead of “Facebook,” and “&” instead of “and” all done in order to comply with Twitter’s 140-character limit.)

Stop Teasing Me, Twitter!

Wednesday, August 12th, 2015

Stop Teasing Me, Twitter!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

For a moment, I’m thrilled at the news:
“Twitter’s ending our 140 blues.”
But I’m joyous too soon–
Just DMs get that boon.
Tiny tweets will keep stifling my muse.

(DM on Twitter refers to Direct Message, much like Private Messages on Facebook.)

Tweet Marvels (Limerick)

Friday, December 19th, 2014

Tweet Marvels (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I marvel @ poets who fit
A lim’rick on tweets. It takes grit
& patience & toil
2 manage 2 boil
Lim’ricks down so u read what I’ve writ.

Note: The 140 character per tweet limit on Twitter is a tough taskmaster; It was all I could do to fit the five lines in a tweet, even after changing “@” to “at,” “and” to “&,” “to” to “2,” and “you” to “u.”

And even then, there was no room for my title, byline, post URL, or this hashtagged indication of what prompt inspired me: #5prompt (marvel.)

Twitter Limerick Fit

Thursday, August 1st, 2013

Not only does dVerse’s Sam Peralta ask us to write poetry on Twitter, he wants our poems to be precisely 140 characters. So here goes — a Twitter limerick, 140 characters on the nose:

It’s hard to fit lim’ricks on Twitter,
A wonderful haiku transmitter.
When I try to write short
I’m forced to abort
& verses alas lose their

And here it is on my @Madkane Twitter account.

Smite SMODJ! (Limerick)

Friday, July 19th, 2013

This limerick was inspired by Facebook friend Douglas Frank, who proposed a new texting acronym:

SMODJ, pronounced similar to “smudge.”
It stands for: Social Media Outrage Du Jour.

Smite SMODJ! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Social Media Outrage Du Jour
(SMODJ, for short) can be tough to endure.
Angry pro and con litter
In Facebook and Twitter
Stream ceaselessly. Stop, please! No more!

Hashtag Madness (Limerick)

Monday, April 8th, 2013

Please relax Cher fans — Cher is still alive:

Legions of Twitter users were fooled into thinking the pop singer had passed after people began posting about late British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher under the hashtag #nowthatcherisdead.

Hashtag Madness (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Nowthatcherisdead” — hashtag blur
Has created one hell of a stir:
Dear fans of Ms. Cher,
Who’ve read “news” you can’t bear:
Cher’s alive. Thatcher’s dead. As you were!

Guileless Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, April 10th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus five Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal who seemed guileless and sweet…

or

A guy who seemed guileless and sweet…

Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verser will be fine, of course.)

Guileless Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
And consistently easy to beat,
Was exploited each day
Both at work and at play.
But she did have one weapon — the tweet.

That gal, it turns out, was quite bitter
And exacted revenge using Twitter.
Her micro remarks
Caused embarrassing sparks.
What a fabulous gossip emitter!

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!