Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CASH or CACHE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 29, 2020)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CASH or CACHE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CLOTHING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CLOTHING-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on March 1, 2020 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 29, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my CASH/CACHE-Rhyme limerick:

I’m in a big rush and must dash
To the bank, cuz I’m all out of cash.
Then there’s lunch and a meeting
And hours of tweeting
Snide gripes — pols and neighbors to bash.

And here’s my CLOTHING-themed limerick:

A woman was totally bare;
She’d removed all her clothes on a dare,
Then shopped aroun’ town
Till a cop flagged her down.
Her excuse? “I have nothing to wear.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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128 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CASH or CACHE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 29, 2020)”

  1. Zelick M says:

    The kraken went kaken, is said
    A ship hit him smack in the head
    He thought he would lash
    The thing for it’s cache
    But the captain was Cookey eyes dread.

  2. Lisi Nortman says:

    All the guys used to give me a wink
    When I’d sit at “The Lounge” for a drink
    But I’ve stopped going there
    Cuz I’ve nothing to wear
    Seems that chocolate made all my clothes shrink

  3. Beri Caram says:

    I gathered the leaves of a fig
    To wear on my prominent rig
    My wife said “That stuff
    Is barely enough
    To cover up something that big.”


    For lack of sufficient cash
    I lifted some pot with a dash
    But quickly I tripped
    By cops I was gripped
    That truly has settled my hash.

  4. Mike Moulton says:

    The NRA may have sent cash
    From Russia to Trump’s campaign stash
    Through Maria, a sparrow
    Who brought the dinero,
    To make a conservative splash.

  5. Jesse Levy says:

    Some people have way too much cash.
    They make me think of things rash.
    Inequity sucks
    For those with no bucks
    Makes my teeth go “gnash, gnash.”

  6. Lisi Nortman says:

    Ev’ry day I just make a mad dash
    To this gizmo called “ATM Cash”
    What a cool slot machine
    (It’s so wild and obscene)
    And I WIN all the time in a flash!

  7. Judith H. Block says:

    Have you seen the Emperor’s new clothes?
    He’s naked, every sane person knows.
    His cult followers are blind,
    Or their pockets, well lined,
    Refuse to see the truths we expose.

  8. Dave Johnson says:

    While tending a gardening chore,
    A T-shirt is all that he wore.
    His bent-over stance
    Drew a passerby’s glance;
    “That’s nuts!” she was heard to implore.

  9. Lisi Nortman says:

    Game was over, I made a mad dash
    To the bank, I got there in a flash
    Seems I ran out of bills
    Which just gave me the chills
    Cuz my bookie will only take cash

  10. Zelick M says:

    There was a mad dash for the cash
    Although it was nothing but trash
    It’s value was zero
    Trump was no hero
    But no one date say he was brash.

  11. John Shardlow says:

    On his hols in the East you’re afraid he
    May go in some of the bars that are shady
    Flirting won’t hurt
    As a feel up the skirt
    Will prove that his date’s not a lady

  12. John Shardlow says:

    A perverted young man called Jackie
    Paid for reversion ther- apy
    In a specialist brothel
    Where he’s fed from a bottle
    Wearing rompers, a bib and a nappy

    Nappy = diaper in the US

  13. Tim Gray says:

    I’ve got one hell of a stash
    But sadly none is in cash.
    I own acres of land
    Along the Rio Grande…
    Oh the Feds, damn I must dash.

  14. Lisi Nortman says:

    My daughter’s sixteen and polite
    But when shopping, she’s sure no delight
    She wants to look “hot”
    And while at the “Clothes Spot”
    She looks for a dress that’s too tight

  15. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Well, Lady Godiva was clutch,
    riding naked for causes and such;
    butt rubbed raw by her horse,
    one conclusion, of course,
    is the Lady doth protest too much.

  16. Tim Gray says:

    You’re young, now don’t be rash
    Be careful with all of your cash.
    Now if you give it to me,
    (For just a small fee),
    You’ll be safe from a financial crash.

  17. Jean McEwen says:

    Here’s a TSA warning to heed:
    If your state’s not yet legalized weed,
    Expect agents to trash
    All the hash in your cache.
    (You’d best smoke it beforehand. Agreed?)

  18. Jean McEwen says:

    My pattern? I’ll buy a Size 8—
    An incentive to make me lose weight.
    But most of my clothing
    I end up disposing.
    (The pounds just quite never abate.)

  19. Brian Allgar says:

    “We’re heading, you say, for a crash?
    Lemme tell you, there’s plenty of cash!
    The economy’s fine,
    And them losers who whine
    Are just lib’rals and other such trash.”

  20. Brian Allgar says:

    My new Y-fronts are horribly wrong!
    Manufactured no doubt in Hong Kong,
    They are useless and silly,
    Unless you’ve a willy
    That’s Z-shaped and twelve inches long.

    (True story. I won’t go any further into the details …)

  21. Brian Allgar says:

    They say Donald Trump is betrothing
    A man who inspires equal loathing.
    That’s Donald and Vlad,
    Both vicious and bad,
    A fine pair of wolves in wolves’ clothing.

  22. Tony Holmes says:

    The lure is those long wavy tresses –
    And contours! Their shape so impresses.
    These, of course, play their part,
    But what captures my heart?
    Her eyes as she slowly undresses.

  23. Tony Holmes says:

    ‘Tis the folly of youth – and the rash –
    To lay too great a stress upon cash.
    They will boast, silly sods,
    Of the size of their wads,
    And decry the import of panache.

  24. Tony Holmes says:

    ‘Tis the folly of youth – and the rash –
    To lay too great a stress upon cash.
    They will boast, silly sods,
    Of the size of their wads,
    And know nothing of brio and dash.

  25. Brian Allgar says:

    I went shopping to buy frozen peas;
    I’d lost weight, and I started to sneeze.
    The shoppers were staring
    At what I was baring –
    My trousers were down by my knees!

    (Another true story)

  26. Brian Allgar says:


    Though he carried a fortune in cash,
    He laughed when they told him “That’s rash!”
    For he hid all the gelt
    In a thick leather belt –
    Which the mugger ripped off in a flash.

  27. Zelick M says:

    He had to wear a great jacket
    To conceal his potent large packet
    But, with nothing beneath
    Not a hint of a sheath
    No one could forsee he would crack it.

  28. Zelick M says:

    Continue the kraken went Kaken

    Old dread led a gang of men fed –
    Up with a comfy clean bed
    They wanted to Arrgh
    All night at the bar
    But, he made them drink grog on their head

  29. Brian Allgar says:

    Said the Grabber, “The girls that I snatch
    Must be pretty and underage, natch.
    I prefer ’em by far
    When they don’t need a bra –
    I could never unfasten the catch.”

  30. Tim James says:

    She’s a beauty, with style and panache,
    And I know that my ardor is rash.
    Oh, to lie in her arms
    And enjoy her sweet charms!
    It turns out, though, I haven’t the cash.

  31. Lisi Nortman says:

    This retirement home really rocks!
    Have you met Mr. Cool? What a fox!
    He’s a real sexy guy
    When you see him, you’ll die
    He’s the one who wears sandals with socks

  32. ALAN HUNTER says:

    Here’s My Clothing theme limerick

    Sitting unladylike and posing
    Head held high and her prize showing
    With neighbors riled up
    Her folks had enough
    And in protest ripped off all their clothing!

  33. Lisi Nortman says:

    ” I need a brassiere, please, “H” cup”
    “We don’t have that explain dear, whassup?”
    ” Well, G’s for Gigantic
    Which makes the men frantic
    And “H” is for “HELP! CAN’T GET UP!”

  34. Tony Holmes says:

    “For too long I lived life as a prude
    And denounced naked bodies as rude.
    Then one day, for a dare,
    I laid everything bare;
    Now I’m clothed in a new attitude.”

  35. Tony Holmes says:

    Does this qualify as a twofer?

    “Even though I embraced it quite late,
    Now I’m nudist, I’ve shed a great weight.
    True, I can’t make a splash –
    I’ve nowhere to keep cash –
    But apart from that hitch, it’s just great!”

  36. Tony Holmes says:

    “To be nicked in the act of undressing!
    It’s not only a crime, it’s distressing.
    When I spied Mistress Cute
    In her fine birthday suit …
    Which I did, by the way, with her blessing.”

  37. Lisi Nortman says:

    It took only one teensy glance
    To realize this guy sure could dance
    Yet he just wasn’t cool
    Kinda’ looked like a fool
    Cuz he still wore those bell bottom pants

  38. Roger Haugen says:

    The frat boy contracted a rash
    From a cheerleader’s popular gash;
    The doctor said “Sure,
    I’ve got the right cure–
    It’ll cost you a grand, all in cash.”

  39. Tim Gray says:

    Hi Mad,

    Entry at February 16, 2020 at 8:04 pm, I think “financial” in the last line would be better as “market”.


  40. Tony Holmes says:

    “The philanderer Pirran Pentire
    Set great store by exquisite attire.
    “When I strut for my prey,
    In this gorgeous array,
    I am fanning the flames of desire.”

  41. Tony Holmes says:

    The philanthropist Vanderbilt Moore
    Was devoted to helping the poor.
    Till a stock market crash
    Did away with his cash.
    Now the poor must make room for one Moore.

  42. Tony Holmes says:

    Wizened roué, Carbunculous Gran,
    Is the archetype ‘Dirty Old Man’.
    In his mackintosh coat,
    This lascivious goat,
    Is still eager to prove that he can.

  43. Tony Holmes says:

    City whizz-kid, Sebastian Oake,
    Would have nothing that wasn’t bespoke.
    All his suits and his shirts,
    Shoes and ties, undergirts;
    And the table from which he snorts coke.

  44. Tony Holmes says:

    Shameless muscleman, Peregrine Schwartz,
    Liked to pose in the shortest of shorts.
    Then a washing temp’ rise
    Left them shrunken in size,
    So, he fashioned a loincloth, of sorts.

  45. Tony Holmes says:

    ‘Tis the folly of youth – and the rash –
    To lay too great a stress upon cash.
    They will boast, silly sods,
    Of the size of their wads,
    While decrying the need for panache.

  46. Tony Holmes says:

    In addition to stitchwork that’s neat,
    Sid, my tailor, is very discreet.
    As my waistline expands,
    Chalk and pins in his hands,
    He pooh-poohs any talk of defeat.

  47. Tony Holmes says:

    “Sid’s my tailor: his stitching’s so neat.
    In addition, he’s very discreet.
    As my waistline expands,
    Chalk and pins in his hands,
    He pooh-poohs any talk of defeat.”

    First effort wasn’t right.

  48. Tony Holmes says:

    “That I may have divested too soon
    Was brought home to me roundabout noon.
    He walked in with a gun,
    Said, ‘Hello! Having fun?’
    His arrival was not opportune.”

  49. Tony Holmes says:

    “If it’s true that, ‘Clothes maketh the man,’
    I must get some as soon as I can.
    Oh, it’s all very well,
    Living au naturel,
    But it sucks for my seven-year plan.”

  50. Lisi Nortman says:

    Oh, Michael! I’ve sure bought a lot
    Of clothes for our trip on the yacht
    It’s now time for bed
    Think I’ll stay up instead
    To worry “bout what I forgot

  51. Lisi Nortman says:

    I bought a new coat just for show
    And it cost me a whole lot of dough
    It got splattered with ink
    All the “perps” said, “NOW THINK!!
    Of that dead and poor innocent faux”

  52. Kirk Miller says:

    They are stripping the mountaintops bare
    And polluting the streams and the air.
    Mining makes a huge gash.
    The small payments of cash
    Are coaled comfort for residents there.

  53. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Concealed in our old family cache
    lay remnants of Grandpa’s mustache.
    He explained, story’s told,
    “Silver threads ‘mong the gold
    proves my ‘stache is worth more than just trash.”

  54. Tony Holmes says:

    “From my youth I’ve slept au naturel,
    And till now it has worked very well.
    But just lately I find
    That I’m treated less kind’;
    Flight attendants have sounded the knell.”

  55. Daisy Ward says:

    The gambler was hard-up for cash
    Didn’t get it, but instead got a rash
    He worked up an inch
    His stomach started to twitch
    Money hungry, the man felled and crash

  56. Daisy Ward says:

    The model loses her clothes
    While walking the runway she chose
    Her clothes got caught on a line
    She then ran out of time
    Naked her body was red as a rose

  57. Tony Holmes says:

    When a man in the prime of his life
    Finds his urges are causing some strife,
    He can bluster and gnash,
    Wave goodbye to his cash,
    Or grow up and go back to his wife.

  58. Tony Holmes says:

    “Don’t be shy,” coaxed the lady whose chest
    Was incentive enough to divest.
    “There is no need to fear,
    We’re all naturel here.
    Come with me and I’ll show you the rest.”

  59. Tim Gray says:

    We’d thrown off most every rag
    In our haste to get upstairs and shag
    But we were caught short,
    In the apartment forecourt,
    As all the keys were locked in my bag.

  60. Tim Gray says:

    I’m Johnathan Pritchard Esquire,
    As a nude I wear no attire
    But my landlady Bess,
    With prejudice and duress,
    Full raiment, alas, does require.

  61. Tim Gray says:

    The King thought he was well arrayed,
    As he marched ahead the parade.
    Not to be too rude,
    If he knew he was nude,
    He’d be “Altogether” dismayed.

  62. Tony Holmes says:

    “When accepting awards for repute,
    As one must when one’s efforts bear fruit,
    To offset the acclaim
    Now attached to my name,
    I attend in my birthing day suit.”

  63. Tony Holmes says:

    “That I may have divested too soon
    Was brought home to me roundabout noon.
    He walked in with a gun,
    Said, ‘Hello! Having fun?’
    His arrival was inopportune.”

    For some reason I thought the last line didn’t scan this way, but on reflection …

  64. Tony Holmes says:

    “It’s both infamous crime and distressing
    To be stalled in the act of undressing.
    When I spied Mistress Cute
    In her fine birthday suit …
    Which I did, by the way, with her blessing.”

  65. Tony Holmes says:

    “When accepting awards for repute,
    As one must when one’s efforts bear fruit,
    To offset the acclaim
    That’s accrued to my name,
    I attend in my birthing day suit.”

  66. Tony Holmes says:

    There are those for whom style wins no vote;
    They’ll shop Thrift for a bargain price coat;
    But for those with ‘the sense’
    Cheap is no recompense;
    There will always be some like it haute.

  67. Tony Holmes says:

    “What one wears will speak volumes, they say;
    Tell, for instance, who’s straight and who’s gay.
    I have four Dickie Dirts
    That are pink – it means shirts –
    So, I’m ready to swing either way.”

  68. Lisi Nortman says:

    “My Size?”

    “This sweater’s so cute and so sweet
    The colors are bright and real neat!
    It’s lovely, although
    I’d sure like to know
    Do you have one for people who eat?”

  69. Lisi Nortman says:

    My new slacks aren’t really that nice
    But I guess they will have to suffice
    The fit is too tight
    And the length isn’t right
    But I couldn’t resist the low price

  70. Lisi Nortman says:

    I must tell you, with shopping, I’m done!
    Many years ago, it was sheer fun!
    Now the quality’s poor
    Of that I am sure
    And the tag here says, “one size fits none”

  71. Roger Haugen says:

    Regarding her old husband’s clothing,
    Her opinion was undisguised loathing;
    Describing good taste
    To him was a waste,
    A subject that meant less than no-thing.

  72. Tony Holmes says:

    We’re survivors, my money and I,
    And no matter the circs, we get by.
    True, we’re both a bit rash
    When it comes to hard cash,
    But so what? Life is too short to cry.

  73. Tony Holmes says:

    English gents must wear suiting that fits
    To avoid the opprobrious, “Twits!”
    Every chap in the know
    Gets his kit from the ‘Row’,
    As his income or budget permits.

  74. Tim James says:

    A spy sent a note to her chief.
    How’d she do it? It beggars belief:
    She inscribed it with care
    On her guy’s underwear.
    That’s the way she conveyed it, in brief.

  75. Tony Holmes says:

    When confronted with shortage of cash
    Emmet Witherspoon did something rash.
    He attacked an old crone
    With a mind of her own;
    Now he spends his days gathering trash.

  76. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Wow, I tossed my old tees from the Comic-Con,
    and my hat with the heart that says, ‘Pokemon’,
    rundown shoes, broken in,
    all my ‘fat pants’, worn thin . . .
    Now I rue that KonMari phenomenon!

  77. Tim Gray says:

    My girlfriend had too much booze
    And thought, “What’s there to lose?
    I’ll do a quick strip…’
    But she had a stuck zip
    And only got as far as the shoes.

  78. Brian Allgar says:

    She always took baths fully dressed
    Since the old window-cleaner confessed
    That he emptied his bladder
    And fell off his ladder
    The day that he glimpsed her left breast.

  79. Brian Allgar says:

    The hooker took all of my cash,
    Including my well-hidden stash.
    I’m now quite bereft,
    And all I have left
    From her visit is this horrid rash.

  80. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Hey, teller, hand over the cash”
    “Take it easy, man, don’t get so brash
    I just need to see
    Your photo I.D.
    Is that fine with you, Mr. Nash?”

  81. Kirk Miller says:

    Nudist group has decided to hire
    Videographer so they’ll inspire
    Folks to throw off their clothes,
    Because everyone knows
    More exposure is what they desire.

  82. Fred Bortz says:

    How sad that the USA chose
    A PO(tu)S who every day shows
    In each cynical act
    That perception is fact.
    We live in “The Emp’ror’s New Clothes.”

  83. Mike Young says:

    I never have very much cash
    What I have is a minimal stash
    But thieves still want to steal
    Despite my appeal
    So I take it and jump in a plash.

  84. Mike Young says:

    One job that I hate’s buying clothing
    It’s a job that I do with much loathing
    To make less of a chore
    I drink red wine before
    So walking to shop is a slow thing.

  85. Brian Allgar says:

    You may have been wondering why
    The President wears a red tie.
    Well, his owner’s a Red,
    And his dog, it is said,
    Will obey the commands “Heel!” and “Lie!”

  86. Fred Bortz says:

    An appreciation of a great comedian, who was a his best when playing a cheapskate.

    The gunman declared, very brash,
    “Mr. Benny, your life, or your cash!”
    Funny Jack started blinking,
    Raised one finger, “I’m thinking.”
    And that’s why his show was a smash.

  87. Tim Gray says:

    I cannot say you look svelte
    As that skirt is as wide as a belt.
    Thank you for sharing,
    I love what I’m wearing.
    I’m as comfortable as I’ve ever felt.

  88. Tim Gray says:

    I’m Geoff of Amazon fame
    And am going to play a small game.
    If I be somewhat rash
    And give a tenth of my cache
    Will I get it ten times back again?

  89. Tim Gray says:

    The scammer was subtly brash
    In milking me of all of my cash
    But he was sorry to find
    I’d played a double blind
    And brought him down with a crash.

  90. Lisi Nortman says:

    Tonight is our annual prom
    Once again, I am going with Tom
    At this awesome “sock hop”
    We wouldn’t dare swap
    Cause we all met on “Mismatch Dot Com”

  91. Lisi Nortman says:

    I think above limerick is backwards. Try again.

    Tonight is our annual prom
    Once again, I am going with Tom
    This awesome “sock hop”
    Is a good time to swap
    Since we all met on “Mismatch Dot Com”

  92. Lisi Nortman says:

    I Think Above Limerick Is Backwards. Try Again

    Tonight is our annual prom
    Once again, I am going with Tom
    This awesome “sock hop”
    Is a good time to swap
    Since we all met on “Mismatch Dot Com”

  93. Tim James says:

    I was watching a squirrel’s mad dash
    As he stocked his arboreal cache.
    I could hear the loud goof
    Going nuts on my roof.
    He’s a genuine pain in the ash.

  94. stephen whitred says:

    Well, I quit my job. Was I too rash?
    Cuz I don’t have a new source of cash
    If I worked as a troll
    I might stay off the dole
    But I can’t be that loutish or brash

  95. stephen whitred says:

    In his trench-coat he undid the sash
    Then exposed himself; really quite brash
    So she chided, opining
    “You call that a lining?
    Next time spend a little more cash”

  96. stephen whitred says:

    There once was a man, quite a prude
    In his nightmares he went around nude
    But exposing his skin
    Caused him so much chagrin
    That he had himself fully tattooed

    Welcome back, Steve!!!! We’ve missed you!

  97. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mixed Marriage

    At the “sock hop” in Washington Square
    The bobby and crew were aware
    That their colleagues were “talking”
    And snubbingly gawking
    It was strange, cuz they made a nice pair

  98. Lisi Nortman says:

    I did eight loads of laundry today
    I CAN’T STAND IT! I surely must say
    I saw loads nine and ten
    Had to do it again
    It was easy. I threw them away.

  99. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    “There was a young belle of old Natchez
    Whose garments were”–Stop! See, the catch is:
    when exhausted by tries
    and you think, ‘Plagiarize!’
    It’s best if you do it in snatches.

  100. Lisi Nortman says:

    I remember the first time I met her
    And WOW! I shall never forget ‘er
    So sultry and hot!
    She sure hit the spot
    And was wearing her blue “do me” sweater

  101. @mckra1g says:

    There once was a gambler named Cash
    Whose tic telegraphed his cards in a flash.
    His tell was his swirl
    Upon his finger it’d twirl.
    Betrayed and bankrupted by his mustache.

  102. Tim James says:

    An ecdysiast, smart as a whip,
    Trolled the crowd with the following quip:
    “In exchange for your payment,
    I’ll doff my scant raiment.”
    A fellow yelled, “THEN will you strip?”

  103. Lisi Nortman says:

    Mama cleaned ev’ry day, till she’d bust
    She scrubbed and she washed, (always fussed)
    And now I’m the same
    On behalf of her name
    I use her old panties to dust

  104. Dave Johnson says:

    At the end of a harrowing day,
    She doffed her clothes in the foyer.
    They were all on the floor
    As she walked through the door;
    “Surprise…” they could barely just say.

  105. Lisi Nortman says:

    I rushed to the mall at “The Square”
    To get a new “do” for my hair
    Then stopped in at “La Rose”
    And bought some new clothes
    That I probably never will wear

  106. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’m looking for something real teeny
    For the love of my life, Sweetheart QUEENIE
    We are going to swim
    But the chances are slim
    That I’ll find a beefitting beekini

  107. Diane Groothuis says:

    A Scot in a very short kilt
    Said “You see I am very well built
    And in my tight trews
    You’ll get plenty of views
    Of the sword which I keep in my hilt”

  108. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Irregulars” Sounds like a “buy”
    Let’s face it, I’m not a rich guy!
    Must check out what that means
    And try on these jeans
    Gee! they’re comfy, but ain’t got no fly!

  109. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Certain movie scenes I always bash:
    they’re the ones that involve burning cash.
    Bomb a plane, torch a car,
    at the stake burn the star —
    but don’t make me watch cash turn to ash!

  110. Tim Gray says:

    I can’t say how hard I was pressed
    To go upstairs and get dressed
    By the Rev, as his wife
    Was causing trouble and strife…
    I would say they’re a little obsessed.

  111. Tim Gray says:

    Though continually clothed in scandal,
    Trump seems quite able to handle
    All the negative views,
    By claiming Fake News,
    Perpetrated by some Democrat vandal.

  112. Lisi Nortman says:

    Unusual Acronym

    My handsome and sweet honey bunny
    Plays golf whether cloudy or sunny
    His outfits are wacky
    (Exceedingly tacky)
    He always G oes O ut L ooking F unny

  113. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A boy named Sue, just five feet high
    And rising, did crimes on the sly
    Got caught; Folsom Prison
    Where he’d died, then risen
    To ghost riders up in the sky.

    Ring of fire, Ira Hayes was, so brash!
    Orange Blossom he caught in a flash.
    Mama told all her sons,
    “Please just don’t take your guns
    All to town; first consult Johnny Cash!”

  114. Suzanne Heymann says:

    I hate plastic cards, ATM fees
    I just pay through the nose as they please.
    I pay rent on my cash
    Which they hoard like a stash,
    Giving me a hot flash as they seize.

    Well, I beat the bank’s system of trash
    Think my brainstorm is making a splash.
    Checks and credit – a vice
    Debit – too high a price
    I use nothing but nice, cold, hard cash!

  115. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A brassiere is a cursable thing,
    An uncomfortable harness/titsling.
    I get home and then boom!
    Free my boobs from their tomb
    Whip the thing ‘cross the room with a fling!

  116. Tim Gray says:

    He’d sing for nickels and dimes,
    That boy who was born Johnny Symes,
    One day feeling rash
    He called himself Cash
    And so began the good times.

  117. Tim Gray says:

    I had a date to the Prom
    And transport both to and from
    But very sadly my gown
    Was my Mum’s hand-me-down,
    A sixties mini was just wrong.

  118. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The catwalk had models – all newbies
    And one wore a dress made of rubies.
    The top of the gown
    Started slip-sliding down
    Now she’s known throughout town for her boobies.

  119. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A Scot WON’T let his jewels be spilt
    He wears undies beneath his fine kilt.
    That’s because if a squall
    Shows his thingy is small,
    His poor ego will fall and just wilt.

  120. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Those self checkout counters are trash
    They’re just paper-trail snoops I should smash.
    On that crap I’m not sold
    “I don’t work here!” I scold
    And proceed to use old-fashioned cash!

  121. Tim Gray says:

    I’m schizoid and saw myself nude
    And one of my people’s a prude.
    She went to the law,
    Now here is the score,
    I’m charged with behaviour that’s lewd.

  122. Lisi Nortman says:

    It’s summer, and time for new clothes
    Need a swimsuit that will not expose
    My neck or my chest
    And all of the rest
    Except for my pedicured toes

  123. madkane says:

    The current Limerick-Off ends tomorrow, Saturday, at 10 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your straggler limericks in. Thanks!

  124. Diane Groothuis says:

    A Frenchie who wore a beret
    Said “Voulez vous parler Francais?
    I told him “Mais oui”
    and I think you’ll agree
    My reply vaut beaucoup de monnaie.

  125. Tim Gray says:

    Slightly different version to: February 27, 2020 at 10:07 pm

    I’m schizoid and saw myself nude
    And one of my selves is a prude.
    Now here is the score,
    She went to the law
    Where I was charged with behaviour that’s lewd.

  126. Tim James says:

    He’s a riches-to-rags kind of guy.
    When the rags go, a barrel is nigh.
    He hasn’t a nickel.
    What led to this pickle?
    Trump told him: “The stock market? Buy!”

  127. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    When Ogden was asked why he sought to
    write more limericks than any man ought to:
    “Not unlike earning cash,
    it’s like breathing,” said Nash–
    “it’s better to do it than not to.”

  128. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 339. Congratulations to the winners!

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Back.