Archive for the ‘Science Humor’ Category

Happy Scotch Tape Day (January 31)

Sunday, January 31st, 2016

Though my mem’ry’s, alas, on the wane,
Here’s a day that should stick to my brain:
It’s for Richard G. Drew.
He did NOT invent glue,
But our bond with his Scotch Tape shall reign.

Happy Scotch Tape Day!

Limerick Ode To Galileo’s Telescope

Thursday, December 3rd, 2015

It’s Telescope Day, celebrated because on December 3, 1621, Galileo announced he’d perfected his telescope. And so, a celebratory limerick:

Galileo perfected in spades
The magnificent gadget that aids
Us in viewing the stars
And the planets, like Mars.
Of course, NOW we need curtains and shades.

Let Them Eat … Insects? (Limerick)

Thursday, October 15th, 2015

Are bugs more nutritious than meat?
In a study on what we should eat,
The answer was “yes.”
I am bugged and confess
That I’d sooner eat peat or concrete.

This Limerick’s No Lie

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2015

A title like this cries out for a limerick: “The lies we tell are more convincing when we need to pee.”

Here’s a lesson from science ― the key
To a credible lie-telling spree:
A bladder that’s full
Leads to plausible bull.
Do your lying when desp’rate to pee.

Researchers Belabor The Obvious (Limerick)

Tuesday, September 8th, 2015

Some facts are self-evident, including the results of this study of cats.

Researchers Belabor The Obvious (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Does a cat miss its owner and pout?
Just in case you were feeling some doubt,
Felines ain’t like a hound,
A study has found.
It took science to figure this out?

Limerick Ode To Pluto

Monday, July 13th, 2015

With all the renewed attention on Pluto, I’m hoping it will be re-designated a planet instead of a measly “dwarf planet.”

I often like staring at stars
And at planets, like Venus and Mars.
How I pity poor Pluto–
’Twas given the boot — oh
To be “plutoed” must surely leave scars.

Pluto Day is February 18th, in honor of its discovery on that day in 1930 at Lowell Observatory in Flagstaff, Arizona, by astronomer Clyde W. Tombaugh.

Multitask THIS! (Limerick)

Thursday, October 9th, 2014

Multitask THIS! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Multitasking is bad for your brain,
Says a study I read on the plane
While cleaning my purse,
Writing email and verse.
Now where WAS I? That study’s insane!

According to research done at Stamford University, we are all seriously screwed.

Fruity Study? (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 15th, 2014

Fruity Study? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though I don’t want to lead you astray,
It appears that an apple a day
Is a way to enhance
A gal’s sex life, perchance.
I’m not ribbing you. Mālum? Hooray!

According to a sex study with a rather small sample size, apples might possibly be a libido booster.

Limerick Ode To The Stove

Wednesday, June 11th, 2014

Limerick Ode To The Stove
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A stove is a handy device.
For cooking, some say, it works nice.
I can’t speak to that fact,
For I don’t interact
Well with kitchens. I can, though, boil rice.

Today in Kitchen History: On June 11, 1793, Robert Haeterick was granted the first American stove patent for a stove design of cast iron.

I’m Attached To Tape (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 27th, 2014

I just discovered a delicious factoid: what we now know as Scotch Tape was invented by a banjo player who worked for 3M. The inventor, Richard Gurley Drew, patented his adhesive tape on May 27, 1930.

I’m Attached To Tape (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Picture life without 3M Scotch Tape:
Stuff we need to affix would escape.
Paper’s bound to be freed
(Sticky wicket, indeed!)
While we’re stuck, all unglued and agape.

Happy Cellophane Tape Day!

Cursing’s Healthy, I Swear (Limerick)

Thursday, May 15th, 2014

Cursing’s Healthy, I Swear (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

New research, Brit experts declare,
Has revealed that it’s healthy to swear.
So you damn SOBs,
No more slamming my ease
With the expletive. Carpers beware!

An Eclipsed Eclipse (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 15th, 2014

An Eclipsed Eclipse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Last night, I kept searching the skies
For that promised “blood moon,” but my eyes
Were betrayed by the pall
Cast by clouds — a thick wall,
Which cut my dream view down to size.

No Longer In The Dark About Decision-Making (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 26th, 2014

This interesting study sheds some light on how we make decisions: According to scientists at the University of Toronto Scarborough, people think more objectively when in darkness, making more rational decisions when the lights are dimmed.

No Longer In The Dark About Decision-Making (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a study with insight that’s stark:
Our reasoning’s best in the dark.
Need to make a decision?
Dim light aids your vision.
Watch lucid enlightenment spark.

In A Pig’s Eye!

Sunday, December 1st, 2013

I rarely write science-related limericks. But I just couldn’t resist this headline: “‘Humans evolved after a female chimpanzee mated with a pig’: Extraordinary claim made by American geneticist.”

In A Pig’s Eye!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You might ask how a masculine pig
Got a chimp that was female to dig
Him enough to have sex.
I’m guessing a hex,
Using feathers and maybe a fig.

Mars Haiku Contest Results

Thursday, November 21st, 2013

Earlier this year, NASA held a Mars haiku contest, which was managed by the University of Colorado. You can read the winning Mars haiku entries here.

I didn’t win, but my second haiku (the sappy one) got just enough votes to qualify to be included in the DVD that will accompany MAVEN on its journey to and around the Red Planet.

Here are my two entries:

Sorry to barge in.
We don’t mean to make rubble,
but we’re out of space.

***

Earth’s promise to Mars:
We vow to treat you better
than we treat ourselves.

***

Limerick Rant

Wednesday, August 28th, 2013

Limerick Rant
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A botanist, rather a ranter,
Looked down upon lighthearted banter.
Though he constantly “shared”
His views, which he blared,
When his wife tried to talk, he’d supplant ‘er.

A Fungus You can Grow To Like (Limerick)

Friday, July 19th, 2013

According to a new study by Dr. David Johnson at the University of Aberdeen, plants communicate to each other through soil.

The study shows that when vegetables are infected with certain diseases, they alert other nearby plants to activate genes to ward off the disease when it heads their way. The key to this communication is a soil fungus that acts as a messenger.

Needless to say, plant-fungus symbiosis inspired this limerick:

A Fungus You can Grow To Like (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Plants talk to each other through dirt:
“You’re in danger!” through fungi, they blurt.
“Use your genes to resist
A disease in your midst,
And render this danger inert.”

Some Jokes Just Don’t Compute (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 8th, 2013

It seems that artificial intelligence has a pun and joke-writing branch called computational humor. For instance, a computer software program called Standup:

Though it’s not quite Louis C. K., the Standup program, engineered by a team of computer scientists in Scotland, is one of the more successful efforts to emerge from a branch of artificial intelligence known as computational humor, which seeks to model comedy using machines.

Some Jokes Just Don’t Compute (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Computational humor is here:
Oddball software whose goal’s the frontier
Of punning and jokes.
But so far, I’d say folks
Who are funny have nothing to fear.

Waxing Silly About Science (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

I strongly support stem cell research. But that doesn’t mean I won’t mock it. After all, science article titles like this are impossible to resist: Stem Cells Build a Better Rat Penis.

Waxing Silly About Science (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Is your rat penis painfully small?
There’s help for you — here’s who to call:
A Doc at Tulane —
His team will explain
How stem cells can make that thing tall.

Hidden Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, January 15th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was trying to hide…*

or

A woman was trying to hide…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Hidden Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was trying to hide
The fact that he’d patently lied
In claiming to be
A chem Ph.D.,
When he never had even applied.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!