In A Pig’s Eye!

I rarely write science-related limericks. But I just couldn’t resist this headline: “‘Humans evolved after a female chimpanzee mated with a pig’: Extraordinary claim made by American geneticist.”

In A Pig’s Eye!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You might ask how a masculine pig
Got a chimp that was female to dig
Him enough to have sex.
I’m guessing a hex,
Using feathers and maybe a fig.

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16 Responses to “In A Pig’s Eye!”

  1. Fred Bortz says:

    A chimp and a pig found a place
    For a tryst, so they cut to the chase.
    Now what kind of god
    Would devise such an odd
    Conjugation to start a new race?

    But Darwin would certainly doubt
    That a coupling like that could work out.
    It’s beyond hypothetical.
    It’s downright heretical.
    For a scientist, it has little clout.

    So religion and science agree
    That such mating could not come to be.
    No ape would allow
    Either hog or a sow
    To bring fruit to its family tree.

  2. Fred Bortz says:

    Edited last verse:

    A chimp and a pig found a place
    For a tryst, so they cut to the chase.
    Now what kind of god
    Would devise such an odd
    Conjugation to start a new race?

    But Darwin would certainly doubt
    That a coupling like that could work out.
    It’s beyond hypothetical.
    It’s downright heretical.
    As science it has little clout.

    So religion and science agree
    That such mating could not come to be.
    No ape would allow
    Either hog or a sow
    To bring fruit to its family tree.

  3. Fred Bortz says:

    Actually, the edit was the middle verse. Oy!

  4. Rallentanda says:

    You might ask how a masculine pig
    Persuaded a chimp – a sheila to dig
    He promised the moon and sang her fine toons
    And sometimes he gave her banana balloons

    She continued to toil and the laundry did boil
    in a great copper pot that was very very hot
    As he sunbaked drank beer with his mermaids and chums
    she slaved at home alone – was under his thumb

    One day she said” enough is enough
    I’m back to the jungle where life’s not so tough”
    He said” Don’t leave me my dear little chimp
    Who’ll do the cooking shopping and see to my limp”

    “Who cares ” she said leaving in a rage
    “I’m outta here now and turning the page
    Back to the coconut palms sand and trees
    Will live at the beach with a lovely sea breeze

  5. hansi says:

    Goes to show…most men are still pigs :)

  6. ZQ says:

    I’m at a loss for words :-)

  7. Lol – This is good!

  8. Colin Morgan says:

    There isn’t much science that can be linked to the original statement – a limerick is an excellent repost!

  9. Of course the male in the equation just HAD to be the pig.

    Was that American geneticist a woman, by chance? (LOL)

  10. Bjorn says:

    Well if Adam and Eve had Fig’s leaf.. there had to be a fig somewhere.

  11. grapeling says:

    Mmm mmm mmm. That is a capital swine
    who would go quite well with red wine
    but she-chimp drank too much
    which led he-pig to touch
    and ultimately they had a good time

  12. billgncs says:

    he mastered the art of seduction
    applied with a bit of deduction
    never needed insistence
    to surmount resistance
    for inter-species reproduction

  13. brian miller says:

    its really quite a disturbing thought…ha.
    funny too the filter at school kept kicking me out when
    i tried to comment on this the other day…lol

  14. Rallentanda says:

    so she swung from the trees
    from morning til night
    no shopping or cooking
    a monkey’s delight

    but after a while she became
    tetchy and bored
    she needed some company
    started looking – Oh Lord!

    one day at the beach
    you wont guess who she found
    all shiny and pinky and peachy and brown

  15. Mary says:

    I never thought of pigs as masculine. You startled me from the first line!
    I feel more than a bit sorry for Ms Chimp.

  16. I think a considerable amoount of cheap wine was needed too.