Crabby Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal who was rather a crab…*


A woman enjoying some crab…*


A fellow who’d frequently crab…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Crabby Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A crabby young man eating crab
Claimed “This tastes like it came from a lab.
It’s fishy indeed
That you’d try to mislead
With faux food, so I’m chucking this tab.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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38 Responses to “Crabby Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Diane Groothuis says:

    A girl who is rather a crab
    Moves sideways to get in a cab
    But she’s ejected because
    With one of her claws
    She deals out a quite nasty jab.

  2. Jesse Levy says:

    A gal who was rather a crab
    at least had the gift of gab
    But more than just use it
    She’d always abuse it
    One day she’ll end up on a slab.

  3. A Vogon did crave some jeweled crab
    He found a fork and took a good stab
    The crab would have none of this
    It gave the fork a sharp twist
    And slammed its attacker down on the slab

  4. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow who’d frequently crab
    of her ever expanding fresh flab,
    Deserved what he got,
    As she left him to rot,
    Stretched out on a slab from her stab.

  5. rbasler says:

    A customer ordered some crab
    At a seafood place out in Moab
    They showed him a tank
    It was green and it stank
    They said, “Stick your arm in and just grab!”

  6. scott says:

    a guy who was rather a crab
    knew it would sound like a jab
    when he told the Mad one
    “your prompt is a bad one”
    but thought he would give it a stab

  7. Diane Groothuis says:

    Said a prawn to a lovely young crab
    “Do you know love I think you are fab?
    I’m not feeling too shabby
    But if you’d prefer yabby
    You should go for the best you can grab”

  8. John Sardo says:

    A woman enjoying some crab,
    Placed a live one on a stone slab.
    The crab grabbed for her chest
    Its claw clamped on her breast.
    Where today she still has a sore scab.

  9. John Sardo says:

    A fellow who’d frequently crab
    “Bout his gal who would dress awfully drab.
    Till at last she said “Honey,
    You don’t think it funny
    When I take off my clothes and you grab.”

  10. John Sardo says:

    A gal who was rather a crab
    Dressed in clothes that were terribly drab
    She never wore makeup
    Till she had a big breakup
    Then flipped and turned drab into fab.

  11. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman enjoying some crab
    Didn’t stop her gift of gab,
    Didn’t pay attention,
    To shell thorn extensions,
    And so in her thumb she got stabbed.

  12. Mark Kane says:

    A woman would frequently crab
    When he ordered a cheaper young cab.
    He said, “Buy what you like,”
    As he got on his bike,
    And left, sticking her with the tab.

  13. John Ramos says:

    Three bedbugs, two lice and a crab
    Convened for a post-feeding gab.
    One thought he had seen
    A new tick on their teen,
    But turned out it was only a scab.

  14. John Ramos says:

    A gum-popping teen who’s a crab
    Thinks acronyms sharpen a jab.
    Tweeting “Give me a break”
    Is a rookie mistake
    When one simply can comment “GMAB.”

  15. Tim James says:

    I don’t hunt for the small stuff like crab
    And a shark is too easy to nab.
    I may give the impression
    Of cetacean obsession.
    My name? You may call me Ahab.

  16. Fred Bortz says:

    They added the genes of a crab
    To a Doberman’s eggs in the lab.
    Now here is the clincher:
    That dog bore a “Pincher”
    With claws on its paws that could grab.

  17. John Peter Larkin says:

    A fellow who’d frequently crab
    complained that his life was too drab.
    Though he wasn’t too bright,
    I’d say he was right.
    Even his house was pre-fab.

  18. Mark Kane says:

    I’m a Cancer, so rather a crab.
    Not docile, no sleeping black lab.
    But I’m funny as well,
    Which makes the wife kvell,
    So this saves me, my smooth gift of gab.

  19. Diane Groothuis says:

    Well this Taurus is not like a crab
    I’m solid and stubborn and fab
    May be a bit stodgy
    Sometimes even podgy
    But my no – bull side is never drab.

  20. Pat Hatt says:

    A gal who is rather a crab
    Liked a guy with flab
    She found him grand
    Took him by the hand
    Now he’s her own special lab

  21. John Ramos says:

    A maverick breeder named Krabb
    Developed a dog he found fab:
    It bubbled and hissed
    And shot flames when it pissed;
    He called it his chemistry Lab.

  22. John Ramos says:

    A maverick breeder named Krabb
    Developed a dog he found fab:
    It exuded strange fumes,
    Then blew up several rooms;
    ‘Twas a true methamphetamine Lab.

  23. colonialist says:

    A gal with a fondness for crab
    Said, ‘Oh, these crustaceans are fab!’
    So crabby and crusty
    Became, and so must she
    Be sent on a crab-type re-hab.

    btw – Haiku Monday theme:

    Haiku Monday Madness

  24. John Ramos says:

    A freshly ensconced hermit crab
    Met some hounds on the beach for a gab.
    “Your new shell,” the dogs bayed,
    “It looks almost homemade.”
    “Well, it’s not,” replied he. “It’s prefab.”

  25. Larry Neal says:

    Mad, I’m just passing this along because I had it laying around and, after all, how often does a call for crabs come along?

    Old-school ties

    When guys’ used ties are up for grabs
    Always choose the one with crabs
    Stripes suit ordinarily
    but those who go crustacean-free
    will soon surplus themselves in drab

    Consider Dyspanopeus Texans
    who lives in the Gulf, Mexicanus
    On any shirt he’d surely be
    pink and most delectably
    distracting from soup spots that stain us

    And on a maître d’s stock loaner
    a Dungeness or hermit loner
    will snootify you, too
    just like that gilded, Windsored crew
    who dine in ties from Brooks, the Brother

    So trust this good advice to you:
    Snap up a handsome crab or two
    Their silky claws won’t choke or sting
    and women say they’re “quite the thing,
    almost as sweet as kangaroos”

  26. Tim James says:

    A gal who was rather a crab
    Bought a tight yellow dress; ’twasn’t drab.
    She asked poor, honest Hubby:
    “Does my butt appear chubby?”
    It’s a month ’til he’s out of rehab.

  27. Mark Kane says:

    Take a moment to thank Buster Crabbe,
    For back then Flash Gordon was fab.
    Kids would flock to the features,
    Get off on the creatures,
    Then dream of a life in the lab.

  28. Craig says:

    We do testing on lobsters and crab
    At a noted Crustacea lab.
    Though it ain’t scientific
    They sure taste terrific
    And Headquarters picks up the tab!

  29. Tom Harris says:

    The gentleman would often crab
    About his life, which he found drab.
    His existence – dull –
    In a perpetual lull,
    Boring his friends with constant gab.

  30. Bone says:

    A woman enjoying some crab
    Was listening to “Abacab”
    “My life is just bliss
    I love Genesis
    But what the hell’s this song about?”

  31. When I said that my wife was a crab,
    It wasn’t just meaningless blab:
    YOU try to convince her
    To loosen her pincer
    When she gives YOUR testes a grab!

    (By the way, this is in no way autobiographical! :^) )

  32. Charley Simmons says:

    There was an old crab
    Who worked in a lab.
    He invented Viagra
    Went to Niagara
    Now, his life is just fab.

  33. Bob Kennedy says:

    A man with the hand of a crab
    Spent way too much time in the lab.
    Still his schedule was swimming’
    With sexy young women;
    He really had that gift of gab!

  34. Errol Nimbly says:

    He moves sideways at night, like a crab,
    While he’s looking for prey he can nab.
    So don’t walk home alone;
    He’s a dog; you’re the bone;
    And he’s quick with his gift of the grab.

  35. CPHenly says:

    Romeo started to crab
    ’bout Mercutio’s gift of the gab:
    Said he: “Dude! You must stop!
    For my brain’s gonna pop
    After seven encores of ‘Queen Mab’!”

  36. rafael says:

    My date decided on crab
    With nary a care ’bout the tab
    So I asked if she’s Dutch
    Or to play with my clutch
    Instead, she hailed her own cab

  37. rafael says:

    My first was a bit of a crab
    My second…? Too gifted with gab
    My third was the ticket
    He sorely could stick it
    Bulling my pulpit; smack DAB!

  38. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the week 143.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: A Round Of Limericks.