A Round Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow whose body was round…*

or

A woman was running around…*

or

A rumor was going around…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

A Round Of Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An expounder loved lounging around
By the pool, spewing thoughts unprofound.
“You’re a bore! Do a chore,”
Hounded spouse number four.
He thumbs-downed her. Unsound! He soon drowned.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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72 Responses to “A Round Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Lisa Doherty says:

    A close friend was running around
    With a man whom I’d recently found
    To be quite a nutter
    Who had a bad stutter
    So t’was easy to c c confound!

  2. Charley Simmons says:

    A lady whose body was round
    Would eat chocolate by the pound
    Growing sweeter and sweeter
    Boy friends wanted to eat her
    There was nibbling and giggling profound

  3. kaykuala says:

    A woman was running around…
    Her antics made others frown
    It was acceptable
    But she fumbled
    One she wished she had found

    Hank

  4. Rebecca says:

    A rumour was going around
    (But then, you know, rumours abound)
    And this one was so crude,
    And so very rude,
    It really couldn’t help but astound !!

  5. Rebecca says:

    A man whose body was round
    At meals ate enough food to astound.
    He said ” i’ve got to get thinner,
    So each night I’ll skip dinner,
    Until two people’s arms can fit ’round “

  6. Judith H. Block says:

    A rumor was going around:
    Chiro’s leaving! I feel like I’ve drowned!
    I made such a fuss:
    “You’d do this to us?
    A solution indeed must be found!”

  7. John Sardo says:

    A woman was running around
    With a really big hunting hound
    The dog it would drag her
    To a pound where she’d stagger.
    As the hounds from the pound came unwound.

  8. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman was running around,
    Her head, it was not to be found!
    Her excuse, it was lame:
    “I’m a real scatterbrain!
    I really must learn to calm down!”

  9. John Sardo says:

    A woman was running around
    With a guy who refused to be bound
    By a ring on his finger.
    With others he’d linger
    Till the woman a new guy she found.

  10. Jesse Levy says:

    A fellow whose body was round
    said, “I’m fit as a ship and I’m sound!”
    But he struck a reef
    Because his love of beef
    Finally made the whole thing run aground.

  11. John Sardo says:

    A rumor was going around
    ‘Bout a gal whose assets astound.
    She played with full vigor
    Soon the guys would all dig her.
    They admired her talents profound.

  12. Paul Dickey says:

    A rumor was going around
    that the King had stolen his gown
    off a lady fair
    he desired to see bare,
    so he wore it around the town.

  13. Kirk Miller says:

    He’s no amateur playing a round,
    ‘Cause when into the rough ball does bound,
    It’s truly amazing
    He can, just by gazing,
    Find a golf ball that’s lost. It’s pro found.

  14. Kirk Miller says:

    Archeologists looked all around,
    And they combed through the dirt on the ground.
    “Here it is,” the man said.
    And the news headline read:
    Missing link’s missing cuff link was found.

  15. Kirk Miller says:

    Merger rumors are going around.
    An unlikely one that I have found
    Is Teflon and Velcro
    Will join. I don’t think so,
    ‘Cause to me it just doesn’t seem sound.

  16. Kirk Miller says:

    At Home Depot, I look all around
    For commodes; don’t know where they’ll be found.
    So I stop, ask a clerk,
    Who replies with a smirk,
    “On the toilet-tries aisle they are found.”

  17. rbasler says:

    The Beach Boys sang, “I Get Around”
    It fit with the rest of their sound
    They went, “Wah wa ooo”
    Yeah, their lyrics were poo
    No one claimed they were ever profound

  18. scott says:

    A rumor was going around,
    that Santa is coming to town.
    The truth of the matter?
    He’s gotten much fatter,
    and never will get off the ground.

  19. rafael says:

    A girl who once got around
    From one prince to next she would bound
    If IT didn’t fit
    On another she’d sit
    ‘Till, finally, her slipper was found

  20. Jon Gearhart says:

    A rumor was going around
    That Mad was fit to be bound
    I heard her complain
    That Mark’s raising Kane,
    A fool-hearty venture, he’s found…

  21. Jon Gearhart says:

    A large fellow whose body was round
    Was out looking for one til he found
    A concave lass for sex
    That could match his convex
    And would fit like a glove, pound for pound

  22. Jon Gearhart says:

    A woman was running around
    She’s single but wants to be bound
    In ties matrimonial
    Because her hormonial
    Clock’s ticking and needs to be wound

  23. Jon Gearhart says:

    An ol’ cougar was prowlin’ around
    With just any young dog that she found
    She would open her crease
    And play catch and release
    Drop ‘em used and abused at the pound

  24. JulesPaige says:

    I
    A rumor was going around
    That the sun was going to astound
    But all those white flakes that fell
    Made winter a very cold living hell
    That left too many of us house bound!

    II
    A woman was running around
    With layers of clothing was bound
    Being a devout nudist
    As well as a Buddhist
    She tried hard to not make a sound

    III
    A fellow whose body was round
    Took himself to the reindeer compound
    Red suit with white trim
    And no thoughts to be slim
    Chuckled merrily as Rudolph was found

    ©JP/davh

  25. Mark Kane says:

    A butcher in town, plays around.
    Its helped him, he’s now gaining ground.
    Sure his prices are high,
    But still they come by.
    They value his meat, pound for pound.

  26. Jon Gearhart says:

    The circus fat lady is round
    Her walking can punish the ground
    She’ll rise to great fame
    Rotunda’s her name
    Makes tons cause she’s paid by the pound

  27. Bob Dvorak says:

    A fellow whose body was round
    (Could roll off without making a sound),
    Fell one day off his feet
    And rolled off down the street
    Ending up in the Sears “Lost and Found.”

  28. John Armstrong says:

    Frosty the Snowman was round
    As he hopped down the street with a bound
    He gave up his pipe
    To a Republican gripe
    When he married in tiara and gown

  29. John Armstrong says:

    Revised Version:

    Frosty the Snowman was round
    As he hopped down the street with a bound
    He gave up his pipe
    To a GOP gripe
    When he married in tiara and gown

  30. Jon Gearhart says:

    They say what comes round goes around
    And truly it does I have found
    So watch who you slight
    Or else you just might
    Wind up under 6 feet of ground…

  31. Paul Dickey says:

    A woman was running around
    with every political clown.
    She went down on one
    and also his son,
    who by changing his views, got her browned.

  32. Jen Harris says:

    A fellow whose body was round
    Was known in headlines for his sound
    Denials, apologies, fury
    Repeated twice more, in a hurry
    Until finally that video was found.

  33. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    A fellow with stomach quite round
    A flaky white nakey chef clown
    Rolling in dough– so merry
    That doughboy Pillsbury
    Just loves a hard rise before browned

  34. Rebecca says:

    A fellow whose body was round
    Laid in the sun to get browned
    “If I sit here and bake,
    I’ll look just like a cake”
    Said he as he put sunscreen all around.

    A zoo keeper was running around
    When he saw a huge walrus aground
    “Golly whiz , what a heap!
    Feeding him can’t come cheap!”
    Exclaimed he, at the beast’s big fat mound.

  35. Diane Groothuis says:

    A woman was running around
    In a way that did truly astound.
    For she surely did look
    Like the proverbial headless chook
    And she clucked with a quite chooky sound.

  36. John Ramos says:

    When Bob grilled out, word got around
    For his burgers were truly renowned;
    He mixed ground beef and pork
    With some finely chopped stork,
    And topped each with sautéed tongue of hound.

  37. John Ramos says:

    A nurse who liked joking around
    Peered closely at Ann’s ultrasound:
    “The head is quite clear,
    But what puzzles us, dear,
    Are the tail and fins that we found.”

  38. John Ramos says:

    A fromagère whacked a large Gouda round
    With an orchard-grown stick that she found.
    “Apple-smoked is okay,”
    She was well-known to say.
    “Apple-smacked makes cheese world-renowned.”

  39. Fred Bortz says:

    The limerick judge came around,
    Saw my bribe, and declared I’d be crowned.
    But I didn’t ponder
    Her double entendre
    ‘Til her clop on my kopf did resound.

  40. Fred Bortz says:

    The library aide searched around
    But her quarry, alas, wasn’t found.
    Seems that dyslexic clerk
    Looked for Faulkner’s great work
    With the search string, “The Fury and Sound.”

    BTW, that’s one of my favorite books from college days.

  41. Fred Bortz says:

    The geometer went round and round
    Insisting a pattern he’d found
    Was repeating in pi.
    But the truth is the guy
    Was irrational. He always clowned.

  42. Tim James says:

    Rush Limbaugh is running around
    Spouting nothing but fury and sound.
    In view of his “talents”
    The budget would balance
    If bullsh*t were taxed by the pound.

  43. LINES ON HEARING THE DIVINE MS. P HARANGUE AT LIBERTY UNIVERSITY, DECEMBER 2013

    Sarah Palin? Why’s she still around?
    She opens her mouth to expound
    And the nonsense spills out
    In a meaningless rout,
    Like a car never fully unclowned.

  44. MAYBE DR. FRED CAN ANSWER THIS ONE

    Now, as I’ve grown old, I grown round.
    But here’s a dilemma I’ve found:
    The young people swear
    That I’ve also grown *square*…
    The geometry doesn’t seem sound!

  45. (*I’ve, first line. Sorry)

  46. His appendage was tiny and round.
    Her aperture? Wide and profound.
    They had the desire,
    But you can’t start a fire
    Tossing marbles in Long Island Sound.

  47. Bjorn says:

    a girl who was sleeping around
    wants to in marriage be bound
    but who would she choose?
    the one to amuse
    as she wanted with many surround

  48. Fred Bortz says:

    For Will T. Laughlin:

    1.
    You can’t square what ought to be round,
    At least that’s what Lindemann found.
    I’m sure that it’s true,
    Both for me and for you,
    And for all who eat pi by the pound.

    Squaring The Circle

    2.
    Pythagoras went all around
    Spreading practical theorems, quite sound.
    He wasn’t the guy
    Who first spoke of pi.
    Though his genius did surely astound.

  49. Amanda Berry says:

    A woman is running around
    and her Nikes continually pound
    til she carves a deep rut
    in the cinder track but
    she’s determinedly marathon bound.

  50. Diane Groothuis says:

    In the mornings I do like a round
    Of sandwich or toast nicely browned
    With a topping of jam
    Or better still ham
    It’s the very best breakfast I’ve found.

  51. brian miller says:

    a fellow whose body was round
    really never measured by pound
    he shovelled it in
    as quick as he’d begin
    then break wind in a most unnatural sound

  52. @Fred Bortz:

    But did you ever hear about Pythagoras’s brother?

    Pizzathagoras traveled around,
    And, arriving in Sicily, found
    People gathered to hear him
    Announce his new theorem:
    “Pies R Squared!” The result is renowned…

    Loz lb

  53. A fellow whose figure was round
    captained a rig on cape sound
    He ate every morsel
    even the dorsal
    of the fish whose fin he found

  54. P Diane Schneider says:

    A fellow whose body was round
    Was placed on the top of a mound
    On old McDonald’s farm
    With a stick for an arm
    (The other was et by the hound)

  55. Fred Bortz says:

    Continuing the conversation with Will.

    Pi r square is the area round
    The result of math, deep and profound.
    So don’t play it fastandloose.
    Just square that hypotenuse,
    And praise through your class will resound.

  56. Steve Bumgarner says:

    A rumor was going around
    She likes to be sensually bound.
    Then tickles and spanks,
    Are rewarded with “Thanks!
    That keeps me from screwing around.”

  57. Diane Groothuis says:

    And not being the brightest around
    My small brain’s not hard to confound
    So I have to assert
    Windmill pudding’s dessert
    If there is enough to go round.

  58. Diane Groothuis says:

    A fellow whose body was round
    Was reading the day’s “Lost and Found”
    I wonder perchance
    If those size 14 pants
    Could be mine which I left lying round.

  59. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    The story is getting around
    And it’s sure to offend and dumbfound:
    That interpreter guy
    At Mandela’s goodbye?—
    A phony! How very unsound!

    Outrage Over Sign Language Interpreter At Madiba Memorial

  60. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A fellow whose body was round
    Didn’t mind when he fell to the ground
    he rolled down a hill
    There hit a big grill…
    The ‘all meaty’ that downed was profound!

  61. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    Or last line:
    I have found the ‘all meaty’ profound!

  62. Mark Kane says:

    Men love strip clubs where dancers are round
    And where scrawny slim models aren’t found.
    We need women with curves.
    It’s what each man deserves.
    So tip as they wow and astound.

  63. Mark Kane says:

    We’re eager to both fool around
    At a private discreet picnic ground,
    So we lay on a table,
    Although it’s not stable,
    And push past the risks that surround.

  64. Bill Klein says:

    I know that my body is round
    A fact which you need not expound
    ‘Round me the kids play
    On a hot summer’s day
    As I cast so much shade on the ground

  65. Diane Groothuis says:

    What goes round must all come around
    By karma the rules are inbound
    So with great aplomb
    They astounded poor Tom
    Who dumfounded did not make a sound.

  66. A fellow whose body was round
    Wore a silk hat on snow covered ground
    And much to his merit
    Replied “I smell carrot”
    When asked to say something profound

  67. Diane Groothuis says:

    But Tom found a way to get round
    This problem on unstable ground
    While disguised as a toad
    He hit open road
    Just never again to be found.

  68. Sancho Panza says:

    A lady whose breasts were too round
    To be the sort that’s naturally found,
    Regretted to report
    They were a pain to transport
    And hard to keep up off the ground.

  69. At doctors a woman made rounds
    denying her baby bump pounds.
    The docs could just file
    her act of denial
    and hope that the dad was around.

  70. A young man was buying us rounds
    and hogging CD player sounds.
    We said what the hell
    as we drank from the well
    while he put someone else’s card down.

  71. rafael says:

    A girl, once pleasantly round
    Was spread thin in hopes to be found
    Not only attractive
    But physically active
    Died, running self into ground

  72. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 144.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Sale.