Limerick Sale (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was pleased with the sale…*

or

A gal on the hunt for a sale…*

or

A fellow went out for a sail…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Sale
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal would buy only on sale.
Paying full sticker price? Wholesale fail!
Duly checking for miscounts,
She’d drool over discounts.
No markdowns? She’d pale, wail, and bail.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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49 Responses to “Limerick Sale (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. rbasler says:

    A fellow went out for a sail
    He puked his guts over the rail
    “I should have known sooner
    “That life on a schooner
    “Is not any fun in a gale….”

  2. Fred Bortz says:

    This sent me straight to the dark side. I’ll redeem myself later.

    At Victoria’s Secretive sale
    For the cross-dressing feminized male,
    The price of a bra
    Stuck in “Sweet Teddy”‘s craw,
    And the panties’ tight tuck turned her pale.

  3. Linkmeister says:

    A fellow was pleased with the sale
    of his formerly unwanted tale
    of werewolves and vamps
    and freeway on-ramps
    set in Denver and Aspen and Vail.

  4. Sancho Panza says:

    A lady went out for a sail
    With a handsome and seafaring male.
    She returned on the tide
    With the semen inside—
    A humpback is more than a whale.

  5. Jesse Levy says:

    A fellow was pleased with the sale
    to a Sheik of his wife in a veil
    Now she can bug him
    to go to the gym
    and eat meals made only of kale!

    (Corrected version)

  6. kaykuala says:

    A fellow was pleased with the sale…
    An unsuspecting buyer he had nailed
    It was that easy
    He said gleefully
    But in reality it was disaster if he had failed

    Hank

  7. Mark Kane says:

    A hooker was making a sale,
    When a trooper appeared on her trail.
    She offered a deal,
    For each she would kneel,
    If one of them paid for her bail.

  8. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow had just set full sail:
    He, jolly, began to regale
    Long exploits to his guest,
    Who thought, “Give it a rest!
    Sure, you’re Jonah, but without the Whale.”

  9. Judith H. Block says:

    A gal on the hunt for a sale
    For organic lettuce and kale,
    Was willing to pay
    For foods they don’t spray,
    But hoped not to spend full retail.

  10. Judith H. Block says:

    A gal on the hunt for a sale,
    Wouldn’t stop, come high water or hail.
    Bags, clothing and shoes!
    So many to choose!
    And bargins she did, indeed, nail!

  11. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman emerged from a sale
    Clothes askew and hair mussed, with a tale
    Of the frenzy within:
    She’d escaped by the skin
    Of her teeth! then emitted a wail

    Of distress: “Nooo, it’s still in the store!
    I remember, it fell on the floor.”
    She dove into the horde;
    Eons passed. Spouse implored:
    “Target’s gotta sell lipstick – buy more!”

  12. scott says:

    again I was pleased with a sale
    and again it occurred without fail
    I’d acted too soon
    and that afternoon
    a coupon arrived in the mail

  13. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    An agent attempting the sale
    Of a luxury home up near Vail
    Mentioned price. Couple gasped,
    And mere seconds elapsed:
    “Son, it’s nice, but it’s no Holy Grail!”

  14. Jon Gearhart says:

    A gal on the hunt for a sale
    Went off on her own to retail
    Once she got her butt lifted
    And her boobs upward shifted
    She raised her price up above scale

  15. Fred Bortz says:

    When physicists went for a sail,
    Herr Heisenberg caused great travail.
    Said the quantum mechanics,
    “Don’t want him; he panics.
    For certainty, let’s go by rail.”

  16. John Sardo says:

    A gal on a hunt for a sale
    Went shopping each day without fail.
    She found sales galore
    But soon came to abhor
    A habit she could not curtail.
    .
    A gal on a hunt for a sale.
    Got a deal on a horse with no tail.
    “A horse I can’t use
    But a buy can’t refuse
    I’m just glad it wasn’t a whale.”
    .
    A gal on a hunt for a sale
    Went to buy her horse a new tail.
    She looked here and there
    No avail to her mare.
    Till she met a guy out for a sail.
    .
    A fellow went out for a sail
    And saw a horse with no tail.
    It swam for his boat
    With the poor gal in tote.
    Whom he rescued and plied with strong ale.
    .
    So the gal on a hunt for a sale.
    Did the guy who went out for a sail.
    Though the horse had no tail.
    To the gal’s he’d avail
    And happily they lived in this whale of a tale.

  17. Fred Bortz says:

    Don’t allow Jewish guilt to assail
    When your muse moves you outside the pale.
    No topic’s off base
    Or should cause you disgrace
    Except if your limerick’s stale.

  18. colonialist says:

    A fellow went out for a sail
    With a girl whom with tales did regale
    Of seafaring prowess,
    But got sick – what a mess! -
    Sea-duction came up as a ‘fail’!

  19. Tom Harris says:

    If old Ahab had known of the sale,
    He could have bought himself a whale,
    But he grabbed his harpoon
    Then threw it too soon
    And the whale he failed to impale.

  20. Tom Harris says:

    The ads for the Black Friday sale
    Filled my box with colorful mail.
    But on the big day
    Someone got in my way.
    I shoved her. They took me to jail.

  21. Jon Gearhart says:

    A gal on the hunt for a sale
    For Christmas was hot on the trail
    Of a really hot bargain
    But she’s mad cause the fargin
    Retailer reneged without fail

  22. Jon Gearhart says:

    A fellow was pleased with the sale
    Of weed while out skiing in Vail
    Until mile high
    He started to fly
    Off course and he crashed. EPIC FAIL.

  23. John Peter Larkin says:

    A gal on the hunt for a sale
    was deathly afraid to exhale.
    She thought she’d be trampled
    while the products she sampled,
    another Black Friday travail.

  24. Kirk Miller says:

    To the store that sells tires man did sail.
    “I’ve a tire with a hole,” he did wail.
    And the salesman named Chuck
    Said, “You’re really in luck
    ‘Cause we’re having a big blowout sale.”

  25. Jon Gearhart says:

    A fellow went out for a sail
    And found his boat caught in a gale
    The tiny ship tossed
    All thought hope was lost
    But skipper and first mate prevail

    Awoke washed ashore on the sand
    Of this, an uncharted island
    With Gilligan, a dummy
    A skipper named Grumby
    And five passengers from dry land

    They tried many ways to return
    Back home but they don’t seem to learn
    That Gilligan’s a jinx
    The rest of them dinks
    Should tie him to a stake and then burn

    Gilligan

  26. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    At the Brothel’s Christmas sale
    Had his choice of the birds for some tail
    He could have had Candy
    Randy or Mandy
    But instead spent the whole Nightingale.

  27. Diane Groothuis says:

    A young cat went out for a sail
    With an owl when the moon was quite pale
    In a boat of pea -green
    Which is not often seen
    But it sank and they just had to bale.

  28. Mark Kane says:

    We once owned a boat with a sail.
    During races I’d hear my wife wail,
    “Please stop all this leaning!”
    This had the sad meaning
    Of losing the gale without fail.

  29. scott says:

    a fellow went out for a sail
    with a fine and grateful female
    they jibed fore and aft
    on the deck and life raft
    his dinghy, she knows in detail

  30. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A couple went out for a sail
    And made sure they brought a large pail:
    Because, dear, he said,
    You might wish you were dead -
    But it’s me who cleans up, without fail.

  31. Tim James says:

    A rich guy who’d frequently sail
    Lost it all in a stock market fail.
    Though it isn’t his wish
    He now guts and cleans fish.
    And his salary? He’s working for scale.

  32. Do you like it? I got it on sale,
    And I’m sure it’ll never grow stale:
    The tattoo artist swore
    Never EVER before
    Did he ink someone’s penis in Braille.

  33. The Cap’n decided to sail
    Straight into the worst of the gale;
    Sighed the mate, “This’ll hap’n
    Each time that the Cap’n
    Gets into the cargo of ale.”

  34. I know that I’m too long a-sail
    In the track of the monster white whale
    When I look at Ahab
    And say, “Call me a cab”
    When I used to say, “Call me Ishmael.”

    (OK, the rhythm’s all off, but it’s late…)

  35. Mark Kane says:

    I’ll wait and I’ll wait for a sale.
    And wouldn’t you know, without fail,
    That right after I buy it,
    And soon after I try it,
    The price of it drops, and I wail.

  36. Tim James says:

    It’s not my intent to assail
    Any lady seducing a male.
    One gal pleases the blind
    When she tells them they’ll find
    That the front of her T-shirt’s in Braille.

  37. Diane Groothuis says:

    I went to a huge Christmas sale
    Of baubles and tinsel and ale
    And I heard Santa mutter
    “What the Hell is this clutter?
    No wonder the economy’s frail”

  38. Amrit Sinha says:

    A gal on the hunt for a winter sale
    checked out every corner without fail.
    Her old habit returned -
    shoplifting, people turned,
    and she had to spend her Christmas in jail.

  39. old dad says:

    A fellow was pleased with the sale
    Of his sister, Sue-Ann, in the mail.
    They’ll pay him in Yen
    Which is okay by Len,
    Though the silly thing’s starting to wail.

  40. John Ramos says:

    Ahab Junior had no urge to sail,
    And instead roamed his yard with a pail.
    “My old man died at sea,”
    He remarked, “but not me–
    I’m hunting a tiny white snail.”

  41. Diane Groothuis says:

    A Manx cat went out for a sail
    On an old rusty boat with no rail
    the waves started to swell
    And the pussy did yell
    Help, what does a rescue entail?

  42. While rounding the Cape in full sail,
    The prison ship started to fail.
    ‘Twas the convicts’ quick thinking
    That saved it from sinking.
    And that’s why they’re all out on… BAIL.

  43. Errol Nimbly says:

    What she wore billowed out like a sail.
    What delights her wild dance did entail!
    There’s nothing more naughty
    Than a biblical hottie
    Viewed through a diaphanous veil.

  44. Errol Nimbly says:

    Found a cup at some joker’s yard sale;
    Pewter—pierced, so it seemed, with a nail.
    When I offered to dicker
    He said, read the sticker:
    “This goblet’s a real holey grail.”

  45. P Diane Schneider says:

    A fellow went out for a sail
    Imbibing his favorite ale
    He had a great time
    Could turn on a dime
    But then he was et by a whale

  46. Fred Bortz says:

    If this week’s top prize were for sale,
    ‘T’would be better to bribe than regale.
    But I’m told, “Just be funny.
    If you offer Mad Money,
    You’ll be lashed by Kane’s cane on your tail.”

  47. Mark Kane says:

    When a Slavic suits up to assail,
    His enemies quake as they wail.
    Because once he appears,
    He’ll realize their fears,
    Decked out as a Czech in the mail.

  48. Henry Coe says:

    A fellow was please to assail
    As His fight on Black Friday prevailed
    His hopes almost shattered
    in stuffed animal smatter
    before he grabbed a big tiger by the tail.

  49. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 145.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Blows.