Archive for the ‘Email Humor’ Category

Limerick Ode To The ZIP Code

Monday, July 1st, 2013

Happy birthday to the ZIP Code, born fifty years ago, on July 1, 1963.

Limerick Ode To The ZIP Code
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Today is the birthday of ZIP Codes–
Those digital sort and then ship codes
That help us get mail,
Which they’re now calling “snail.”
With email, these aren’t such hip codes.

Feed Needs

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

In simpler (pre-social networking) days, I suffered from just one web addiction — checking my email. And that was bad enough.

But now it’s Facebook and Twitter and blogging, oh my!

And for some people, it’s even worse. I guess I should be relieved that I don’t especially dig Digg, and that MySpace hasn’t invaded my brain space. And that (so far, at least) I’ve withstood the lure of most of the social networking and social media websites listed here in all their gory glory.

Because, as you can tell from this limerick, I don’t need any more web obsessions:

Feed Needs
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m addicted to Facebook, it’s true,
And Twitter and weblogging too.
I’m desp’rately hooked.
All my hours are booked
On my quest to be fed something new.

My Advice To Spammers (Limerick)

Thursday, June 25th, 2009

My Advice To Spammers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear spammers, I wish you’d take heed.
A spell-check is something you need.
Though I’m surely no Freud,
You should really avoid
Sending “greeting” cards spelled more like “greed.”

Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.

Email Hell (Limerick & Haiku Prompt)

Friday, May 9th, 2008

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is email and/or spam. First, my limerick:

I’m out of the office right now.
Do I hate answ’ring email? And how!
Missed your missive? I’m glad,
So I won’t say I’m sad.
Pester some other worker-bee. Ciao!

And now my three spam-related haiku:

Suffocating spam
Pours into my computer,
Drowning out meaning.

Virulent spammers
Take over my computer,
Devouring its core.

My email pours in,
The meaningful lost,
Strangled by spam.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about email and/or spam. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

 

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
 

1. Connie
2. Noah the Great
3. Noah the Great
4. Linda – Nickers and Ink
5. Felix Morgenstern

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your email-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Spam Haiku

Saturday, September 15th, 2007

Sometimes spam frustrates me so much, that I’m forced to turn it into haiku.  How do I do it?  I simply mix and match phrases from various annoying email solicitations and turn them into Spam Haiku.  Here are some examples:

My college pictures
Enhance your anatomy.
Proven effective.

New technology.
Frustration and hopelessness.
Xanax, Valium.

Amazing orgies.
Pictures are hard to believe.
Are you strong enough?

Play Texas Hold’em.
Your future is in your hands.
Never type again.

Large screen DVD.
Is your husband performing?
Big trading alert.

Stocks in an up trend.
Best pain reliever ever.
Be happy again.

Be a love hammer.
Penis enlargement breakthrough.
You can split and merge.

Pelvic pain is real.
Computers are infected.
Contact our doctors.

A Spam Filter That Really Works Would Be Nice

Saturday, March 10th, 2007

A Spam Filter That Really Works Would Be Nice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My filters should block them, but nay!
Spam emails beset me each day,
Pushing stock, naked boys,
Drugs for sex, naughty toys—
All ad nauseam. Please, go away!