Posts Tagged ‘Computers’

My Advice To Spammers (Limerick)

Thursday, June 25th, 2009

My Advice To Spammers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear spammers, I wish you’d take heed.
A spell-check is something you need.
Though I’m surely no Freud,
You should really avoid
Sending “greeting” cards spelled more like “greed.”

Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.

Luddite Limerick

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

Luddite Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A hard-working author named Fink
Insisted on writing with ink.
He hated computers
And called them polluters.
Some claim he’s our long Missing Link.

By the way, in addition to being a recovering lawyer, I’m a recovering luddite and recovering technophobe.  In fact,  the first anthology my essays ever appeared in was Minutes of the Lead Pencil Club: Second Thoughts on the Electronic Revolution.

(Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.)

Battle of the Search Engines

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

I couldn’t let the launch of  Google-challenger Bing pass without a limerick:

Battle of the Search Engines
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A search engine yearns to be king.
Its name, for some reason, is Bing.
It’s Microsoft’s baby.
Hurt Google? Well, maybe.
Their quest? Lots of ad business bling.

A Robot Violinist That Plays Better Than Your Kid?

Friday, March 13th, 2009

I’ve heard some bad violinists in my day … especially back when I substitute-taught elementary school music classes. But amazingly enough, this robot violinist (while lousy, of course) is better than your average fifth grade violin student.

In honor of the robot violinist, I’ve written a double limerick:

A Robot Violinist That Plays Better Than Your Kid?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Fanatics may think it’s a sin
For a robot to play violin.
But its tone ain’t as bad
As some students I’ve had.
In a contest with them, it would win.

Yes it’s weak in vibrato and phrasing.
But its rhythm and pitch are amazing.
So you’re robot averse —
I’m still sure you’ve heard worse.
And if not, I shall brace for the hazing.

Multi-Task Madness

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

Perhaps I’m out of line, but I think that when you get behind the wheel of a gazillion pound motorized vehicle, turn the ignition key, get into gear, hit the gas, and begin to move, you should maybe … I don’t know … PAY ATTENTION.

This approach has many advantages. For example, if you carefully observe your fellow drivers, you can:

a: Pick up lipstick application tips from the woman going 65;

b: Place bets on how far into your lane the guy next to you will swerve while switching CD’s or poking his iPod; … (Multitask Madness continues here.)

Web Withdrawal Woes

Monday, September 24th, 2007

I dedicate this to everyone’s who’s ever been driven mad by a website or blog outage:

Web Withdrawal Woes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This outage has led me to think
I’ve gone bonkers, berserk—need a shrink.
I keep checking the site.
It’s still down—what a plight!
Web withdrawal may drive me to drink.

Backup Blues

Tuesday, February 20th, 2007

Backup Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane

They told me to back up my drive,
Which has crashed—it’s no longer alive.
Had I heeded their warning,
I wouldn’t be mourning
My data, which didn’t survive.