MAD KANE’S HUMOR BLOG

The Outgoing Message I’d love To (But Probably Shouldn’t) Leave On My Answering Machine
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Your party can’t come to the phone.
She’s at lunch or home sick.  Please don’t moan.
Leave a message, or not.
I don’t care — I’m a bot.
But my owner says, “Leave me alone!”

(For more phone-related verse, visit Sunday Scribblings.)

Technorati Tags: Telephone Verse, Answering Machine Limerick, Outgoing Messages, Phone Humor, Business Poem, Workplace Poetry

Today’s limerick and haiku theme is email and/or spam. First, my limerick:

I’m out of the office right now.
Do I hate answ’ring email? And how!
Missed your missive? I’m glad,
So I won’t say I’m sad.
Pester some other worker-bee. Ciao!

And now my three spam-related haiku:

Suffocating spam
Pours into my computer,
Drowning out meaning.

Virulent spammers
Take over my computer,
Devouring its core.

My email pours in,
The meaningful lost,
Strangled by spam.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about email and/or spam. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your email-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

Technorati Tags: Email Limerick, Spam Verse, Email Hell Humor, Writing Prompts, Career Humor

This week’s challenge over at 3WW is to write something that uses these three words: Apology, Consider, and Distant. Here’s my limerick:

Rejected Apology
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Your apology isn’t enough.
You always act distant and gruff.
You never consider
My feelings.  I’m bitter.
So stuff it.  Enough with your guff!

And speaking of challenges, there’s still time to participate in my time-themed poetry prompt.

Technorati Tags: Apology Limerick, Argument Verse, Relationship Poems, Writing Prompts

Fantasy “Dear Editor” Letter (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My writing is great, you should know,
Yet you turn it all down. What a blow!
Your taste is awry,
Else you surely would buy
My submissions. I’m through. Keep your dough!

(I wonder how many magazine and book editors have gotten letters like this.)

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And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* The Carnival of Personal Finance
* Blawg Review
* Blog Carnival On Observations On Life
* Best Of Me Symphony

Technorati Tags: Writing Humor, Editor Humor, Publishing Satire, Letters To Editor, Writing Submission Humor, Blog Publicity, Linky Love

Do you work with anybody like this?  I sure hope not!

Bandwidth Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“I’ve no bandwidth for that,” some folks say.
It’s their style of responding, “No way!
I’ve no time. I am beat.
I have deadlines to meet.
I’m maxed out. I can’t help you. Okay?”

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And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* Carnival of the Insanities
* Blog Carnival on Observations on Life
* Carnival of Family Life

Technorati Tags: Stress Humor, Workplace Tension, Pressure, Anxiety Humor, Bandwidth, Deadlines, Time Pressure, Maxed Out

STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Those points that are meant to exclaim
Often bug me. Yes, bangs seem quite lame.
I abuse them, at times,
When excited by rhymes!!!!
But usage that’s spare is my aim. 

Technorati Tags: Writing Humor, Punctuation Humor, Grammar Humor,   Exclamation Points, Exclamation Marks, Bangs, Communication Satire, Language Satire, Writing Humor

Why I Rarely Go To Parties
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The minute I walked in the door,
I was trapped by a talkative bore.
Though he thought he was deep,
I was soon deep asleep.
They should bottle this guy. What a snore!

Technorati Tags: Party Humor, Boring People, Insomnia, Sleep Humor, Socializing Humor