Posts Tagged ‘Technology Humor’

Bot Attack (Limerick)

Thursday, February 22nd, 2024

My poor stomach is tied up in knots,
Cuz I’m being assaulted by bots.
They are clogging both blogs,
Email’s gone to the dogs,
And I’m drowning in spam. (Hence the trots.)

“Cookie Day” Ode (Limerick)

Monday, December 4th, 2023

It’s “Cookie Day” Lovely! How sweet!
They must surely mean cookies we eat,
And not info that’s stored
By the sites we’ve explored,
For the latter ain’t always a treat!

(National Cookie Day is celebrated annually on December 4.)

Limerick Ode To Info Overload

Tuesday, October 17th, 2023

Does it feel like your head might explode?
Do you suffer from brain overload?
Here’s a trick you might try:
It should help. Wait! Stand by!
Seems I’ve lost my pc’s logon code.

(Today is Information Overload Day which falls annually on the third Tuesday of October.)

Taking Refuge In Limericks

Tuesday, February 21st, 2023

“Two weeks at a refuge sounds sweet,”
Said a stressed-out young woman. “I’m beat!”
When she got there, a crone
Said “Hand over your phone!”
So the gal beat a hasty retreat.

Limerick Ode To Elon “I Love Free Speech” Musk

Friday, December 16th, 2022

Musk famously praises free speech.
Yet he’s guilty of breach after breach,
Like his journo suspensions
For negative mentions.
Time to practice, dear Musk, what you preach!

Technology Haiku Duo

Thursday, December 8th, 2022

I froze in terror.
The screen said “fatal error.”
Computer novice.

*****

I can still recall
when computers and the Net
felt much like magic.

Limerick Ode To Elon Musk (2-Verse)

Monday, November 7th, 2022

Dear Elon, I’m very impressed!
As blunders go, yours are the best!
I’d assumed you were smart,
But you’ve mastered the art
Of destroying your pricey, new nest.

Primo content providers are pissed.
Key staff has been rashly dismissed.
Twitter ad-buyers flee,
While ignoring your plea.
Your mistakes are too many to list!

A Dogged Quest (3-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, September 28th, 2022

A woman who wanted a pet
Became angry, perturbed, and upset:
She’d been told dog adoption
Was OUT as an option…
Cuz she spent too much time on the net.

She replied, “If the net’s bad, then why
Is your website the place we must buy
These sweet canines you say
Need a home? Still say ‘Nay?’
Any court will your ruling decry.”

Upon hearing her not-so-veiled threat,
The naysayer started to sweat.
Since his site can’t afford
To be sued, he’s on board.
Her new spaniel — Tibetan — great get!

*****

(Happy “World Pet Day” — September 28.)

Undone! (Limerick)

Friday, August 26th, 2022

You’re worn out; you should put on the brakes.
At the laptop, you’re getting the shakes.
Text has vanished! It’s KEY!
There’s a fix: “Control-Z.”
(I just wish it cured NON-tech mistakes.)

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CHIP at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: September 17, 2022)

Saturday, August 20th, 2022

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CHIP at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RELAXATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RELAXATION-related limerick.

And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.

Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: DEFECT, SMART, VOICE, SHAME, TASTE.

(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on September 18, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 17, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my CHIP-rhyme limerick:

A fellow who thought he was hip
And who bragged he’d invented a chip,
Would attempt to act cool,
But look like a fool;
Telltale chip-crumbs bespeckled his lip.

Here’s my RELAXATION-themed limerick:

A man was attempting to chill,
But his debt worries made him feel ill.
And all of his tries
To relax were unwise
Cuz they further inflated his bill.

And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR limerick:

With podcasts I’m highly selective;
Something witty and smart’s my objective.
Plus I must clear my choice
With my ears. If the voice
Is high-pitched, it’s, alas, deemed “defective.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Maddening Pings (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 24th, 2022

Weird pings have been driving us mad.
We can’t pinpoint the source. This is bad;
Could be any of eight
Nearby doodads. I hate
Laptops, IPads, cells, Echos! Egad!

Buggy Website Blues (4-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, May 19th, 2022

Dear Website, I’m caught in a snare
By your new “how’d we do?” questionnaire.
My goal is to pay
Your invoice, but NAY:
Seems I can’t, till I grievances air.

Your survey form’s blocking the page
Where the bill payer’s meant to engage.
Since it won’t let me do
What I’m here for, I’m blue,
And your webmaster’s not very sage.

You want my opinion? Here goes:
Your website’s horrendous — it blows!
Will you NOW let me pay
Your damn invoice today?
How does anyone pay what she owes!

Your rating is dreadful! Want more?
You should show all your web techs the door.
If you don’t fix your site
So your pay-page works right,
You will soon join the ranks of the poor.

A Miamian’s Vice (Limerick)

Sunday, May 8th, 2022

A fellow who hailed from Miami
Got paid to send messages spammy.
In his latest, the cad
Placed both virus and ad
For a fake Covid cure — double whammy.

Facebook Gripes (Limerick)

Monday, March 7th, 2022

While on Facebook, folks often complain
About comments that drive them insane.
If you’re truly annoyed,
They’re a breeze to avoid:
“Unfollowing” blocks all that pain.

Verboten Visitors (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 1st, 2022

A creature who goes by “James Bot”
Spams my blog ev’ry day. Yes, a lot!
And I swear that’s the name
That he uses; can’t blame
You for doubts. But it’s true. Kid you not!

Putting “Thank-Yous” On Hold (Limerick)

Monday, February 7th, 2022

This Jonathon Owen tweet reawakened one of my old pet peeves and inspired my limerick: “Hold music that is interrupted every two seconds by a message thanking you for your patience and asking you to remain on the line is a form of psychological torture.”

Dear “Firms Who Use Music-On-Hold,”
Moldy messages swiftly grow old.
I’m not “patiently waiting.”
Don’t thank me; it’s grating.
So stop breaking in! I’m not sold!

A Knotty Issue (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 30th, 2021

“Though it’s fine that my boyfriend is naughty,
A bit bossy and bad-ass and dotty,
His obsession with bots
Has me tied up in knots.
So I can’t tie the knot with that hottie.”

It’s Mouse Day! (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 17th, 2021

Today we must honor the mouse.
Not the rodent, of course, or I’d grouse.
It’s the patent-grant day
For the mouse-gizmo. Yay!
(For a rodent, I’d rope in my spouse.)

(On Nov 17, 1970, Douglas Engelbart was granted the patent for the first computer mouse.)

Computer Confusion (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2021

A fellow, when told to reboot,
Was bewildered; this didn’t compute.
It was clear from his face,
As he bent to unlace,
That technology’s NOT his strong suit.

AWOL Paper (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2021

Does anyone else miss paper menus and train schedules? In New York City, at least, they’ve both disappeared — their elimination an apparent byproduct of the Covid pandemic.

Paper train-schedule? Thing of the past.
Paper menu? It too didn’t last.
Their replacement? Your phone,
Where such data is shown.
Your cell phone ain’t “smart?” Best act fast!