Archive for the ‘Children Humor’ Category
Saturday, July 23rd, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BARS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BARS-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: SHOP, RUN, NEWS, WARNING, FIRST.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 21, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 20, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE-rhyme limerick:
A man who was rather a flake
Would beef about folks eating steak:
“When you chew, cows can feel it,”
He’d hiss. “As for veal, it
Is worse, so I cotton to snake.”
And here’s my BARS-themed limerick:
A pub owner often stole cars,
Pricey paintings, and sometimes guitars.
He neglected his tavern,
Which looked like a cavern.
Fin’lly caught, he is now behind bars.
And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR Limerick:
“Don’t go running with knives,” parents warn.
Their children’s response? Often scorn:
“How ’bout scissors?” they query,
Which makes one mom weary:
“Should have stopped with my very first born.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Badly Behaved Children, Beef Eaters, Children Humor, Competition Limerick, Flakes Humor, Food Poem, Food Verse, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Snake Limericks, Steak Humor, Steak Limerick, Vegetarians Humor, Warnings Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 177 Comments »
Friday, May 20th, 2022
A boy was bawled out by the nuns
For his sly use of off-color puns.
But he swore “I’m not punning!”
(The fellow was cunning.)
“Besides baking, just what’s done with buns?”
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Education Limerick, Nun Humor, Nun Limericks, Nuns, Pun Humor, Pun Limerick, Religion Humor, Religion Limerick, School Humor, School Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse, Wordplay | Comments Off on The “Innocent” Punster (Limerick)
Thursday, April 7th, 2022
A young gal grabbed her daughter to scold ’er:
“You should know better, now that you’re older.
Throwing snack food is rude,
Also wasteful and crude,”
Said the mom with a chip on her shoulder.
Tags: Badly Behaved Children, Child Humor, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Parenting Humor, Parenting Limerick, Snack Food Humor
Posted in Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor | Comments Off on Snack Food Grievance (Limerick)
Sunday, October 31st, 2021
I find “Mother Goose” puzzling. Don’t you?
Take that old gal who lives in a shoe
With her numerous tots.
Why a shoe, of all spots?
It’s a “shoe-inn,” you say? Where’s the loo?
Tags: Children Humor, Children Limerick, Fairy Tales, Fiction Humor, Fiction Limerick, Idioms Humor, Idioms Limerick, Mother Goose, Shoe Humor, Shoes Limerick, Stories Humor, Stories Limerick
Posted in Children Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Wordplay | 2 Comments »
Saturday, August 15th, 2020
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SIGHT or SITE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CHILDREN, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CHILDREN-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 30, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 29, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SIGHT/SITE-rhyme limerick:
Though I hate to appear impolite,
Or petty and quick to indict,
Trump’s a blight on our nation;
A Trump relocation
To prison would be a fine sight.
And here’s my CHILDREN-themed limerick:
We adopted a pet at the pound;
An adorable, cuddly young hound.
The children both love her,
But run off for cover
When doggie-doo mishaps are found.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal and Pet Humor, Children Humor, Children Poetry, Competition Limerick, Dog Humor, Dog Limerick, Donald Trump, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Prison Humor, Rudeness Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 175 Comments »
Sunday, March 4th, 2018
It’s risky when parents show flair
In naming their child, so beware!
If you pick a bad name,
You may shoulder the blame
And the cost of a therapist’s stare.
Happy Celebrate Your Name Week (1st full week of March.)
Tags: Celebrate Your Name Week, Children Humor, CYNW, March Holidays, Names Humor, Naming Humor, Odd Holidays, Parents, Psychology Humor, Therapy Humor
Posted in Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor | Comments Off on Name-Blame (Limerick)
Saturday, August 27th, 2016
Parents dish out some phrases with glee:
“Just because!” “Cuz I said so!” “We’ll see!”
“Till you pay your own way,
You must do what I say!”
“Do you think money grows on a tree?”
Happy “Just Because Day!” (Aug. 27)
Tags: Child Humor, Children, Just Because Day, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor, Parents
Posted in Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor | Comments Off on Pat Parental Retorts (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 29th, 2014
Here’s a creepy Halloween-related survey:
More than half (53%) of parents of trick-or-treaters say their children between the ages of 4 and 10 would prefer cash over candy or even toys, according to a survey of 1,747 parents who celebrated Halloween carried out by coupon- and discount-code website Vouchercloud.net.
Trick-Or-Treating Goes Green? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To you kids who want Halloween cash,
And not candy, your hopes I must dash.
If you ask me for money
Dear girly or sonny,
I’ll double the other kid’s stash.
Tags: Candy Humor, Children Humor, Greed Humor, Halloween Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Money Verse, October Holidays, Trick-or-Treat
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor | 3 Comments »
Friday, July 11th, 2014
“Entrepreneur Barbie!” Are They Toying With Us?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The new Barbie’s an “Entrepreneur.”
Mattel claims it’s intended to spur
Young girls to create
Their own bus’ness. But wait!
Why the form-fitting hot-pink couture?
I’m NOT making this up! “Entrepreneur Barbie,” from Mattel Canada, supposedly takes aim at the glass ceiling. Alas, it clearly misses:
It’s unclear by her garb what company she runs; instead of a power suit, she sports a form-fitting, hot pink sleeveless dress, and her briefcase looks more like a designer purse. The only hint that this doll means business are her tiny tablet and smartphone accessories.
Tags: Barbie Doll Humor, Business Humor, Children Limerick, Doll Humor, Entrepreneur Barbie, Feminism Humor, Mattel Canada, Toys Humor, Young Girls
Posted in Business Humor, Canada, Children Humor, Feminist Satire, Limericks, Workplace & Career Humor | 9 Comments »
Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
When I was a child, I hated the words “just because,” a favorite parental “explanation.” And yet there’s a “Just Because Day,” celebrated on August 27th by people who look at those words rather differently.
I Wrote This Limerick “Just Because”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The parental retort,”Just because,”
Is a stale and inadequate clause.
Moms might just as well say
“It’s the law, so obey!”
Or, hemmed in, just try hemming and haws.
Tags: Child Humor, Children, Just Because Day, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor, Parents
Posted in Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays | 10 Comments »
Tuesday, May 7th, 2013
This feels vaguely appropriate for Mother’s Day:
Freelance Mothering (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Be it newspapers, Web, magazines,
Mistakes are in print and on screens:
Though I’ve NO kids to nag,
I once learned in a mag:
I’m the very proud mother of teens.
True story: Many years ago I wrote several freelance humor columns for Family Circle Magazine, one of which was a “humorous contract” between parents and their teen about learning to drive.
I’ll never forget standing on a long line at the supermarket and spotting the issue I was scheduled to appear in, near the cash register. I grabbed the magazine, turned to the back page and excitedly started to read.
Everything look great … until I got to the bio note, which should have read: “Madeleine Begun Kane is a New York-based freelance humor columnist and lawyer.”
Instead, it read, “Madeleine Begun Kane is the mother of teens.”
And no, I do NOT have any children … unless, of course, you count my hubby Mark.
Tags: Children Humor, Freelance Writing, Media Limerick, Mother's Day Limericks, Mothering Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor, Print Magazines, Teens, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Car & Driving Humor, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limericks, Media Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on Freelance Mothering
Friday, April 12th, 2013
Computers and spell-check have been turning spelling prowess into a quaint art. So it’s no wonder that the people behind the 2013 Scripps National Spelling Bee have upped the ante, now requiring competitors to actually know what the words they’re spelling mean.
Needless to say, this is controversial. And although I think the idea’s a good one, I sympathize with the contestants. Why? Because the change is rather last minute. The contest starts this May 28th, and the change was announced just a couple of days ago, on April 9th.
It’s the very definition of I-N-I-Q-U-I-T-O-U-S.
Spellbinding Changes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
They’re making the Spelling Bee tougher–
Decidedly meaner and rougher:
It’s no longer enough
To learn spelling of stuff–
Master meanings, or rankings shall suffer.
Tags: Children Humor, Competition Limerick, Education & School Humor, Scripps National Spelling Bee, Spell-Check, Spelling, Spelling Bee Humor, Spelling Contests, Teachers
Posted in Children Humor, Contests, Education & School Humor, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Sunday, November 25th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who wasn’t too bright…*
or
A fellow who wasn’t too bright…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Bright Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who wasn’t too bright
Met a fellow who wasn’t quite “right.”
They wed, had a kid—
High IQ — off the grid.
Please don’t ask “Who’s the dad?”— Impolite!
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Children Humor, Competition Limerick, Intelligence, IQ Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Limerick, Moms & Dads Limerick, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor, Parents, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Children Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 97 Comments »
Wednesday, October 31st, 2012
Though schools remain closed,
trick-or-treat stash is untouched:
Halloween Sandy.
*****
Hurricane Sandy
sure outpaces Halloween
in sheer spookiness.
Tags: Candy Humor, Children Humor, Food Verse, Haiku & Senryu, Halloween Humor, Hurricane Sandy, New York Weather, October Holidays, Trick-or-Treat, Weather Poem
Posted in Children Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Weather Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, June 14th, 2012
One Father’s Day Limerick Too Many?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A pregnant young woman named Kay
Was due to give birth the next day.
So it wasn’t sublime
When her spouse picked that time
To confess that he really was gay.
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Father's Day Humor, Gay Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, June Holidays, Marital Relationships, Parenting Humor, Pregnancy Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, December 27th, 2011
Toys “R” Us seems to be selling some potty-mouthed dolls:
Pauline Davis bought some last minute presents for her grandchildren Christmas Eve, but when she brought three talking dolls back to her Oaklyn, N.J. home, she got a rude surprise.
The dolls giggle, coo, and then say something that sounds exactly like, “OK, crazy bitch.”
The three dolls called “You and Me Play and Giggle Triplets” are made just for the Toys “R” Us brand, and Toys “R” Us is sticking by its alleged potty-mouthed pixies.
Potty-Mouthed Dolls — I’m Not Toying With You (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Toys “R” Us has encountered a hitch
In its baby doll sales and it’s rich.
They should babble and burble,
But these dolls are verbal:
They exclaim loud and clear “Crazy Bitch.”
Tags: Children Humor, Christmas Gift Humor, Shopping Humor, Shopping Verse, Stores Limerick, Swearing Verse, Talking Dolls, Toys "R" Us, Toys Humor
Posted in Children Humor, Gift Giving Humor, Limericks, Shopping Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, November 27th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow whose last dime was spent…
or
A woman whose last dime was spent…
Here’s mine:
Spent Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow whose last dime was spent
On a gal below age of consent
Did nothing illicit,
Though mom was complicit:
‘Twas a “sweet sixteen” birthday event.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Age Of Consent, Birthday Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Verse, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Sweet Sixteen Party, Writing Prompts
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Birthday Verse, Celebrations Poetry, Children Humor, Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 75 Comments »
Sunday, November 20th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man was attempting to eat…
or
A gal was attempting to eat…
Here’s mine, which I hope doesn’t describe your Thanksgiving dinner:
Edible Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man was attempting to eat
When he spotted a mouse near his seat.
So he smashed down his foot,
And the mouse went kaput,
As his kid cried, “You killed little Pete!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Children Limerick, Food Humor, Food Verse, Mice Humor, Parenting Humor, Pets Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Thanksgiving, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Children Humor, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 72 Comments »
Sunday, September 4th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was trying to dine…
or
A woman was trying to dine…
Here’s mine:
Dining On Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was trying to dine,
When a teenager started to whine.
Then a baby chimed in —
Spoiled his steak. What a sin!
So he yelled, “Damn those children of mine!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Children Limerick, Food Verse, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Restaurant Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Children Humor, Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 75 Comments »
